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Episode 121: Of Inner Demons and Fears
* * *
“You’re asking me for protection, Madam Deborah.”
Johann asked, twirling the glass of red wine in his grasp and looking at Deborah who was seated opposite him.
There was a smile in the corners of his eyes.
It was packaged as if it was good, but in reality it was a look of absurdity. A gentle disgust pervaded.
Deborah came here 10 minutes ago and spoke about reflecting on herself


She explained in detail how much she had asked God for forgiveness.
And, she even said that if Johann would protect her, she would pray day and night in his temple.
Deborah had her hopes on the good and devout Johann.
“Yes. Lead me so that I can repent on my sins, Archduke.”
“I will.”
“Yes
!”
‘I’m busy and she’s barking like a dog.’
Johann closed his eyes as if bored, and scratched his chin with his index finger.
‘She struggled and now has nowhere to go, so this must be why she came to me
’
She was a woman who was always a nuisance.
Because she was a woman who dared to take the lead and torment his prey, Rixus.
‘She kept getting out of my control, and used to do things on her own accord.’
He was well aware that every time he scolded her, it helped him manage his image.
However, he had the intention of killing her if she bothered him once more.
For Johann, the current situation where she was not arrogant was not that bad.
“I felt so sorry for Kalen that I told him to forget me

. Fortunately, now he’s in a happy relationship with a lady his age.”
“

.”
“I was really happy.”
In front of Johann, Deborah mustered up pretentious tears.
“I am very sorry for my actions. Archduke Marquis, can I get God’s forgiveness
?”
Johann laughed softly. Deborah was completely relieved.
“Of course, Madam Deborah.”
Hope shone on Deborah’s face.
“Ah

.”
Johann was lying on the sofa in a strangely poor posture. He opened the cork of ‘The Dew of Montaigne’ with his teeth and poured it into an empty glass.
(TL/N: my braces-fixed teeth are quaking.)
Then he suggested,
“Calm down and have a drink, Madam Deborah.”
Seeing the glass filled to the point of being “full”, Deborah looked at him in surprise.
But still, Johann was only smiling very kindly.
She wondered if he had poured too much by mistake, but it was not polite to refuse the offered alcohol.
Especially in this situation, she wanted to look good.
“

Thank you.”
Deborah took the glass he held out to her and began to drink.
Not even halfway through, her limit was pushed, but she managed to squeeze through the entire volume.
‘
She’s trying.’
Johann touched his Adam’s apple and looked at the scene with a smile.
Just like watching a dragonfly with its wings ripped open struggling with its body.
Deborah, who drank to the end, coughed painfully and put down the glass.
Will you help me now? There was a blatant look in her eyes.
He really wanted to trample it.
Johann looked her in the eyes and opened his mouth.
“I will introduce Madam Deborah to a monastery, one where you can pray day and night.”
“
Yes, what?!”
“If you are so truly sorry, I’m sure God will forgive Madam Deborah’s ugly sins.”
“Kurgh, no
 wait a minute, Archduke Marquis!”
Johann got up from his seat without any hesitation and spoke coldly.
“Melfis, see Madam Deborah off.”
Melfis, who had been standing next to him like a shadow throughout the conversation, almost half-forced Deborah up.
“No, Archduke Marquis, listen to me
!”
Johann didn’t care if she heard it, but now she was of no use to him.
He didn’t know if he could completely take off his mask in front of Deborah and use her as a puppet, but if he took her in now, what could she do?
Cutting her off quickly was the only answer.
Meanwhile, Deborah, who had been kicked out, was furious, clenching her teeth.
“That bastard was playing with me
!”
In fact, she wasn’t even sure if he was playing with her, it was hard to notice. He grew up with such a nice face.
But somehow, she felt very dirty.
“Madam, are you okay?”
Deborah’s maid, Mary Jane, supported her as she staggered.
“Let go of me!”
Deborah screamed wildly and pushed Mary Jane away. Mary Jane’s body trembled.
“How could there be no decent humans around me
!”
Actually, when Deborah fell, the group that was called the Nine Nobles was shattered, no one came forward.
Even if the focal point was Johann Marquis, he was not the one who had external desires.
Thus, when Deborah, the de facto driving force, and Bernard, were hit, some of the Nine Nobles avoided Deborah’s contact completely.
In particular, that damn Bernard hadn’t been in touch for a long time.
The relationship with Kalen was as irreversible as it was shown earlier.
‘There is no way to expect anything from humans.’
Having drank too much, Deborah’s eyes were red. She grabbed the hem of her skirt.
She decided to revise her plans – To grab the hair of someone shining from a high position and drag them down; so that her status could be restored at once.
Although she could not obtain the title of duchess or marchioness, she could at least receive recognition from the social circles.
She was sure that a position similar to a title would follow.
Moreover, this method was a way to ‘exact revenge’ and ‘restore her position in the social world’ at once.
Naturally, as much as that, it involved some risk.
“Mary Jane, run through the Queen’s office and find evidence of embezzlement or breach of trust.”
“!”
Mary Jane was startled, like she had been electrocuted.
“Yes? 
How can I get in there
?!”
Deborah rolled her eyes and gritted her teeth, then she grabbed Mary Jane’s hair and pulled her back.
“Ouch!”
“You’re ignoring me because I’m like this?”
“No, no, no
”
“You can turn away from the guards and go in! The Queen is wielding the budget right there. If you shake it, dust will definitely come out!”
“Ha, but
 if I get caught while rummaging through the office
 I’ll be sentenced to death!”
Deborah frowned, then she laughed.
“Even though I’m like this, if I don’t keep my mouth shut about your family’s secrets, you’re done anyway.”
“Ahh

.”
“If there is no evidence, make one and bring it.”
“!”
“Unless you want to see your parents wander the streets like miserable beggars.”
—If there’s nothing, make one and bring it.
Deborah was also ready to die.
* * *
“Rixus
”
In the quiet garden where no one was, moonlight shone through.
Badump, badump, badump.
As if my heart was about to explode, its beating rang in my ears.
At this sudden meeting, all I could do was call his name.
I just avoided him as I thought that I should at least prepare before meeting him, but only when I saw his face did I realize.
—That I missed him a lot too.
I looked at his face with sorrow and longing.
“
It’s a foul to look at me like that. I was very angry.”
“

Sorry.”
This was the first time his purple-blue eyes looked almost angry.
The gesture of brushing my hair back was decisive.
My heart was pounding as if it was on fire.
“I’ve been thinking the whole time about why my wife’s avoiding me after my first night with her.”
“

Yes.”
“First. Disappointed with her husband that the night was not so good.”
“That’s absolutely not it.”
I answered a little too bluntly. It was more unacceptable for me to describe those wonderful and trembling nights and days as ‘not so much’.
“Then the second.”
His nose leaned in and he slowly brought his lips to my ear.
Then he whispered.
About the most lewd and shameful position we did on the first night.
Tak—!
Warmth rose on my face as if it would really explode in an instant, and I slapped him on the shoulder.
“

You!”
This crazy man was embarrassing me within the first minute I met him

He looked at my expression seriously and asked,
“It’s also not that?”
“No

!”
“Then the third one, the last.”
“It’s all wrong!”
Rixus wrapped his arms around my waist and looked down at me.
“The third is kissing before speaking.”
My heart was beating wildly, and at that same time, he quickly put his lips on mine.
I was so startled for a moment that my breathing couldn’t find its pace and went out
Rixus swallowed that breath and guided me skillfully.
The flesh in the mouth was strangely tangled, and our breathing was hotly intertwined into one.
The tickling yet strange touch, burning the back of my neck and making my heart race.
‘I can’t do this
’
‘He doesn’t know anything
’
“Ah.”
Feeling guilty, I backed away, breathing through my lips, Rixus closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around the back of my neck to kiss me again.
The guilt melted between our tongues. The exhilaration went to the tip of my fingertips, and I had goosebumps.
At the rough kiss that didn’t go my way, my heart was pounding like it would certainly burst.
He pulled off his red lips and looked down at me.
“Ha

.”
“Lastly, the third one is
”
Rixus whispered into my ear, which had been dimmed by kisses.
“For some reason that you can’t tell
 You’re afraid of our future again.”
My heart skipped a beat for a moment.
Because it was the closest to the real reason.
To begin with, I was surprised that he was noticing the ‘why I couldn’t tell’ which I was hiding

On the other hand, I felt sorry for thinking about how much he had to think on his own to reach such a conclusion.
“Tell me.”
He patted my wet, swollen lips with his index finger, stroking it.
“We don’t need a ‘line’ between us anymore.”
Dun. Dun.
In an instant, tension rose to the end of my spine and it tingled.
‘Really, can I say it?’
‘Will it be all right if I told you? Why am I doing this? Can you accept everything I’ll tell you, Rixus?’
“I’ll listen.”
I pursed my lips without realizing it, as if possessed.
Words came out faster than expected.
“Rixus, I’m actually
”
Rixus’ eyes followed my lips tenaciously.
Ame: *exhales deeply* I swear Berylia, I swear

Dea: 
.patience, we got to have patience
. eventually she would come clean
 or Rixus figures it out on his own (my vote goes to the latter)