"Honestly, I couldn't understand. I just thought it was because he was so delicate. But looking back, I think I had a similar moment. When I first met Pola."
Ethan paused for a moment and then smiled. His gaze seemed to drift as he recalled our first meeting.
"The moment I realized she wasn't just a new maid, I felt such a relief. Oh, Vincent isn't alone anymore. Even if it's just a little, someone is by his side. If he ever has bad thoughts, there's someone who will try their best to stop him."
His smile deepened.
"It wasn't because Pola did something special or was someone special. Rather, the mere fact that she was there, just being by his side, was a great comfort. Pola probably doesn't know that."
"......"
"Vincent must have felt the same way."
His eyes, now filled with affection, met mine again.
"If someone holds your hand without any ulterior motives in the midst of a hopeless darkness, and if you come to trust that hand, how could you ever forget that memory?"
His soft words felt as if he was hugging me and soothing me. I almost felt warmth spreading through my body.
"I... don't know."
I couldn't understand what Ethan was saying. Why me? What did I do? I just went to that mansion by chance, so why do you say I gave you comfort? Why do you show such affection as if you're sharing a precious memory?
To become someone unforgettable, someone cherished, someone who brings comfort, you need to have that kind of value. But I didn't have that value.
When I started to walk, my father immediately taught me household chores. I held a broom longer than my height with both hands and wobbled as I learned to clean.
One day, I carried a pile of laundry and followed my father to the laundry area, only to be abandoned there. Standing alone, I watched the women around me and tried to do the laundry for the first time. I rubbed and washed with my small hands, but my skills were poor. Seeing the wet pile of laundry, my father slapped my cheek with his large hand.
"You need to be useful, or you'll be of no use!"
"Ow!"
"Shut up!"
My father was merciless even to his young child. I cried and cried, not knowing why I was being hit, until I finally fainted. Later, I realized that crying only made my father angrier, so I stopped crying.
"You're useless, so you need to do this to live with us. Understand?"
He whispered this while putting a knife in my small hand. I was terrified of the sharp, pointed knife and didn't want to touch it, but my father made me hold it. I cut my hands several times that day while peeling a whole bag of potatoes. The potatoes I peeled were made into a thin soup, which my father ate entirely.
"You useless girl."
My father often said this. He would frown and click his tongue, and sometimes he would resort to brutal violence. My ugly child, whom he could only sell for a low price, was of no use to him.
When my mother, who had just given birth to the youngest, ran away one night a few days later, I realized it.
I am a person of no value. I am of no use.
Holding my younger siblings' hands, I felt this deeply. There's no way I could have been that person to you.
"I don't think I'm that kind of person."
Even my own parents denied me. I couldn't save my younger siblings from death. My only remaining sibling hated me just like my parents. No one liked me. Receiving affection from someone was something I could never hope for. I couldn't understand why Ethan seemed to think I was precious.
I stared blankly at Ethan and moistened my dry lips with my tongue. Ethan said nothing, just meeting my gaze with his calm, deep eyes.
Soon, he patted my hand again. His slow, gentle touch was very warm. His long, brown eyes shone with kindness.
"Pola, don't think too hard. I'm not trying to make things difficult, as I said before. I just want the two of you to be honest with each other once in a while. You lied about your appearance to Vincent, right? If Vincent misses Pola, it's really pitiful."
Even though my answer a moment ago was clearly strange, he didn't mention it. He just smiled kindly.
"Maybe this is fate that we met again like this."
"......It's a coincidence."
"In situations like this, you should say, 'I think the same way.'"
"......"
"Well, to be honest, I don't really believe in fate. But right now, I want to believe a little."
Suddenly, Ethan leaned closer to me. He opened his mouth as if to say something, then hesitated. I waited for his words, wondering why he was acting this way.
"Actually, you see......"
A moment later, his voice was heavy. I was curious about what he was going to say and unconsciously perked up my ears and leaned closer.
Knock knock. The sound of someone knocking on the door startled me. I turned around to see Vincent leaning against the door, seemingly having just arrived.
When did he come? How much did he hear? Could he have heard everything? Stiff with confusion, I and Ethan were scrutinized by Vincent, who then said,
"It seems I'm interrupting something."
Only then did I notice our position. We were holding hands, and our faces were almost touching. Anyone would have suspected something.
Flustered, I jumped up, and Ethan raised both hands.
"Don't misunderstand. We were just having a light conversation."
"There's no need to explain."
"If I don't, you'll misunderstand."
Stop it, please. Despite my firm words, Vincent's reaction was indifferent. He neither denied nor confirmed anything. He clearly misunderstood.
I opened my mouth to explain, but our eyes met. Out of habit, I avoided his gaze. I turned my head away so he couldn't see my face, then realized my mistake.
Ethan, looking back and forth between me and Vincent, let out a ominous sigh.
"How long have you been here?"
"Just now."
"Just now, when?"
Ethan, sharing my concern, pressed him for details. Vincent hesitated for a moment but then answered frankly.
"When you were talking about fate."
So he didn't hear the earlier conversation. I secretly breathed a sigh of relief. But the conversation he did hear was not exactly reassuring.
Perhaps because of our past connection, Ethan didn't treat me harshly, and I became accustomed to treating him casually. This made me worry about making mistakes. Plus, he sometimes called me by my real name. I needed to find an opportunity to ask him to be more careful.
"Did you come to see me?"
"Yes, I have something to say."
Hearing this, Ethan looked surprised and then at me.
"Po."
"I'll leave now!"
I cut him off urgently. If he said one more word, I would strangle him. I glared at Ethan with a menacing look, and he shut his mouth. Instead, he grabbed my arm and pulled me down. I ended up sitting on the sofa again.
"Sit here."
"Excuse me?"
Flustered, I glanced at Vincent. Seeing his slightly displeased expression, I felt uncomfortable. If it was an important conversation, I shouldn't be here.
But every time I tried to stand up, he would grab my hand and pull me back down. I kept lifting and lowering my buttocks, trying to get up. I gave him a look to stop, but he ignored it.
If you keep this up, they'll really think we have a suspicious relationship.
I felt a heavy gaze.
"You two seem close."
Vincent plopped down on the opposite sofa. Unable to avoid the situation, I bowed my head deeply.
"We know each other. He said he worked at our mansion before."
"For someone who just worked there, you seem to have a deep relationship."
"Well, we share secrets. It's more like a collaborative relationship."
Ethan's casual words might create misunderstandings. I gasped and glared at Ethan, then bowed my head again when I noticed Vincent's gaze. The gaze on my head was piercing.
"Do you want some dessert? There's some chocolate cake left."
Ethan slid the plate with the remaining sweet chocolate cake toward Vincent.
"No, thanks."
"It's really sweet but worth eating. Here."
Ethan pushed the plate even closer to Vincent and poured him a cup of tea. Unable to refuse, Vincent picked up the cup.
The teacup clinked against the saucer. That was the only noise. After that, Vincent and Ethan didn't say a word. Vincent, who said he had something to say, just chewed on the cake, and Ethan silently sipped his tea.
The wind blew through the open window, and the leaves rustled, but no human voices were heard. They didn't even look at each other, as if they had made a pact.
I kept checking the atmosphere between them.
Now I was certain. The tension I felt last time wasn't a mistake. The room was filled with a heavy silence. An uncomfortable air surrounded the two of them. They weren't exactly affectionate, but it wasn't this bad five years ago. The suffocating discomfort now was unbearable.
Being caught in the middle made me uncomfortable too.
'I want to run away.'
My buttocks twitched.
"Would you like more tea?"
Trying to ease the stiff atmosphere, I bravely lifted the teapot, but Vincent only glanced at it without responding. I stiffened, then reached my limit of patience. Pour more, or don't pour. I wish he would just say what he came to say and leave. But Vincent silently and very slowly chewed on the cake, as if he was examining every ingredient used to make it.
In the end, I quietly refilled his empty teacup.
Then I asked Ethan quietly.
"Would you like more?"
"No, thank you."
I received a cold refusal and pulled back dejectedly.
Silence again. My hand holding the teapot started to tremble. If I say I have something to do and leave, will they notice it's a lie? Do they care that much about me? I don't know what's going on, but if I stay here, I'll go crazy. I tried to think of a way to escape.
"You said you had something to say to me?"
Finally, Ethan broke the silence. Only then did Vincent put down his teacup and look at him.
"Why did you decide to stay here?"
"What are you talking about? I just said I'd stay for a few days."
"Give me a proper reason."
"Just think of it as a short vacation here."
"Besides that."
Ethan's eyes widened.
"What exactly do you want me to say?"
"I'm asking what you plan to do while you're staying here."
"What do you think I'll do?"
"You're implying that you have some ulterior motive for staying here."
"Right."
Ethan hesitated at the firm words but then chuckled playfully.
"Don't worry. I'm just here to rest."
"Specifically, here."
"Robert is here, you know."
"I hope that's the only reason."
Vincent's retort seemed to have a hint of sarcasm. Ethan, sensing this, leaned back and propped his chin on his hand. His head tilted slightly, as if he was dissatisfied, but his expression was stoic, making it hard to read his thoughts. Ethan stared intently at Vincent.