"Since you went out of your way to come here and bring this up, I thought there must be something really going on."
Though he spoke in a calm voice, I could sense a hint of sarcasm.
Vincent closed his mouth and slightly furrowed his brow. Seeing this, Eitan smiled, but it felt unsettling. Vincent must have known that when he smiles, he's usually thinking the most ominous thoughts.
"In this situation, even if you have nothing on your mind, you should do something, right?"
Sure enough, another ominous remark slipped out. Eitan tilted his head even more, adopting a posture that would make anyone think he was a misbehaving noble.
"Are you going to kick me out if I bother you?"
"……"
Vincent didn't answer immediately. His slightly lowered emerald eyes briefly revealed irritation. I thought he would start complaining right away, but surprisingly, he seemed to try to compose himself, closing and then opening his eyes.
"What are you doing? Include me too."
Eitan mocked. Vincent remained silent. It seemed like he was hesitating, afraid that if he started talking, he wouldn't be able to stop.
As I watched him from across the room, I realized:
'Vincent is reading Eitan’s mood.'
Though he didn't show it openly, it was clear that he felt constrained by Eitan. Even though Eitan's words and attitude were clearly sarcastic, Vincent didn't reprimand him.
It's not that he wasn't irritated; he just hid it the moment it showed. The tips of his fingers, gripping the teacup handle, curled inward slightly. Though subtle, this hesitation implied caution.
It was a clear moment that revealed the one-sided nature of their relationship.
"Just kidding. I really just came to rest, so don't get the wrong idea."
Eitan laughed lightly, easing the tension. He straightened his slanted posture and sat up properly. Then, he lifted his empty teacup and offered it to me. I hesitated for a moment before tilting the teapot to fill his cup.
Eitan sipped the tea.
"Anyway, since you came here, tell me about yourself. How have you been lately? You must be very busy, right? Everyone seems to be in a hectic period, not getting enough sleep. You might end up exhausted. Are you feeling any pain?"
The questions came in rapid succession. Eitan spoke without pause, as if he had been waiting for this moment. Vincent's brow furrowed even more.
"Sure."
It was a short, ambiguous answer, unclear which question he was responding to. Eitan's voice abruptly stopped, but he quickly resumed.
"What do you mean by that?"
"Everything you asked about is true."
"Is that so? Are things really that tough?"
"Sure."
"Is there anything I can help you with? Just say the word, and I'll help."
"No."
"……Have anything special happened lately? Anything interesting?"
"Not really."
"……"
The conversation faltered. Vincent's responses were unenthusiastic, as if he didn't want to talk. Eitan must have sensed this, as his voice stopped again. His tightly pressed lips stretched, but his eyes didn't smile.
"Are you still afraid of the night?"
Night……? I looked at Eitan in confusion, and he smiled, but his eyes were fixed on Vincent. Vincent's gaze, which had been on the teacup, lifted again. I expected him to ask what Eitan meant, but he responded calmly.
"No."
Another short answer.
Silence followed, as if it were a routine. A small sigh escaped from beside me.
"Is there anything else you want to say to me?"
"Sure."
"Really?"
"Sure."
"Didn't you care about how I was doing?"
"Seeing you doing well was enough."
"……Still, let's talk a bit more. It's been a while since we had a proper conversation."
"Let's do it later."
The refusal was quick and firm. He didn't even look at me. Eitan must have known that "later" was just a polite way of saying no.
With that, Vincent stood up from the sofa. The way he straightened his crumpled jacket clearly showed that he was done.
At that moment, a loud thud echoed as Eitan slammed his fist on the table. I jumped and turned to see his hand trembling on the table.
Despite the loud noise, Eitan laughed as if nothing had happened. I was flustered, looking at Eitan, then back at Vincent, who seemed to have heard nothing and continued to look at Eitan without a flicker of movement.
"How long are you going to keep this up?"
Eitan murmured softly.
"How long are you going to keep acting like this?"
With each word, emotion seeped through. It felt like something that had been tightly contained was slowly leaking out through the cracks. He laughed more deeply than usual, trying to act casual, but his fist on the table still trembled.
Vincent glanced at me. I bowed deeply.
"I'll leave now."
This time, no one stopped me.
The conversation dragged on. I paced the hallway anxiously. No voices came from behind the tightly closed door. Should I be relieved by this? But my unease only grew.
Just as I was considering whether I should go in, the door opened. Vincent stepped out.
He glanced at me as I paced the hallway. I gave a brief nod and walked past him into the room.
Gently closing the door, I checked on Eitan. He was still sitting on the sofa as he had been a moment ago. His profile, sipping tea, looked calm as if nothing had happened. I observed this and quickly approached, sitting beside him.
"Lord Eitan."
Eitan slowly turned his head. I hadn't noticed it from a distance, but up close, he looked tired.
After watching their conversation today, I was certain. Something had definitely happened between them. What could have changed their relationship so much?
Should I ask? As I hesitated, he smiled faintly.
"It's okay, go ahead and ask."
With his permission, I slowly opened my mouth.
"What happened between you and Lord Vincent?"
"It's been noticed. Our relationship has deteriorated."
"Did you have a fight?"
"Something like that."
"Did you even come to blows?"
"Actually, it would have been better if we had."
Indeed?
"It was because of Lucas. More specifically, because of this."
Eitan pointed to his eye with his fingertip.
"I did it without Vincent knowing."
"……!"
My breath caught in my throat. Though his words were brief, I understood their meaning. I was shocked.
"So, Lord Vincent didn't know about it?"
"Right. To be precise, he didn't know it was Lucas's."
"Why, why. Why……."
"Because it was what Lucas wanted. So I did it for him."
But I thought I had hidden it well, and he found out quickly. Eitan added this as if it were nothing, but the situation earlier clearly showed that it was far from nothing.
I couldn't even imagine how Vincent must have felt when he found out the whole story. It must have been the moment he had longed for, but the truth was too cruel.
I responded somberly.
"……But it must have been something Lord Vincent didn't want."
"Exactly. It was a big mess when he found out."
"He might have asked to revert it back to the way it was."
"By the time he found out, Lucas was already gone. That option never existed. Even if Lucas had been alive, it would have been impossible to revert."
Lies. If Lucas had somehow survived, even if he had been in a coma, if there had been any chance of survival, Eitan would never have made that choice.
When Lucas told him about his wish, what must Eitan have felt?
Being given the choice can sometimes be a good thing, but other times, it can be incredibly cruel. Choosing what tastes better, what is more necessary, who is better, the slim chance of a younger brother's survival, or the hope of a friend who had been plunged into despair.
Eitan's choice was like that. What was more important? In fact, nothing was unimportant, but he had to choose one over the other. Perhaps Lucas chose for him to spare him some pain.
Vincent was right. Eitan was skilled at lying. He could hide his emotions perfectly within lies.
"Since then, things have been like this. We haven't had a big fight or openly treated each other coldly. We've just grown distant. Vincent doesn't want to talk to me much, and even when we do, it's awkward. He reads my mood, which makes me uncomfortable, so I end up avoiding him. Actually, it's been quite a while since we last met. We've both been busy. This time, I made time to see him after a long while."
"……"
"I didn't tell you this because I was afraid it might happen."
What were you afraid of? When I asked, Eitan smiled awkwardly.
"Because you looked like you might cry."
"I won't cry."
"I know."
Saying this, Eitan leaned forward, resting his hand on the edge of the sofa. The distance between us closed. His tilted face showed a gentle expression.
"But if you want to cry, don't hold back. You don't have to do it in front of everyone."
Sadness mingled with his smile.
I met his gaze and, following his lead, grabbed the back of the sofa and leaned closer to him. Tilting my head, I saw a hint of confusion in his brown eyes.
"You scolded me for not being happy, but you're not doing well either, Lord Eitan. You were lying."
The brown eyes curved as I muttered this.
"Ah, so you noticed that too."
"You were saying all sorts of things just now."
"I'm ashamed."
His tone was playful, but it seemed to be his way of defending himself, making me feel bitter.
"I'll do as you say, Lord Eitan. But please, listen to my request too."
"Hehe, what is it?"
"Promise me you'll listen."
"Sure. Go ahead."
"When you want to cry, don't hold back. Cry in front of me."
Eitan's smile faded. I slowly recalled the events of the day.
Eitan, who had been sleeping in late in his room, the servants who trembled in fear at the sight of him following me, the maids who begged for their lives over trivial matters.
In such a situation, Eitan remained calm. It seemed natural to him. Perhaps this was now a natural state for Eitan. It was unfamiliar to me, but not to him. The viscount who had survived by eating his own kin. He would have to live with that burden for the rest of his life.
Even now, he couldn't express his feelings in front of his dear friend. Perhaps he only had people around him who squeezed the life out of him. This was what concerned me the most.
"Even if you can't show it to anyone, even if you shouldn't, at least don't hide it from me."
"I don't want you to hold back either."
We shared memories. That's why I could empathize with his pain to some extent. Now that he was in a position where he had to read others' moods, he would try to hide his emotions even more, but he didn't need to do that in front of me. It's okay to have someone who can be honest with you, right?
"Will you do that for me?"
And this was the only thing I could give him. I hoped it would ease his burden a little. With this thought, I looked at Eitan and smiled gently.
"And I hope you don't hold back now. It's just me here."
Eitan's face crumpled instantly. He buried his face in my shoulder, his expression contorted as if he were about to cry. His trembling emotions flowed out with his breath. Just as he had done for me, I patted his back repeatedly.