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I would like to see Miyagi after graduation.
How I feel like I even said something I didn’t need to say.
I don’t know what Miyagi thought of my unnecessary words, and I was not in the mood to study as it was, so I decided to leave early, but I couldn’t leave.
On the contrary, Miyagi said something incomprehensible and decided to let me stay overnight.
Since I’m alone, you should stay through the night.
I never thought Miyagi would say such a thing, even though I was turned away.  Even now, I feel like I might be told that what she said earlier was all a lie.
I knew that the reason I was called out today was because she wanted to talk to me about something, but I knew it wasn’t a good idea.
It is not surprising that she would say she would end the relationship without waiting for the graduation ceremony.
That’s how much I’ve been thinking about it, and I can’t swallow the current situation well.
「The refrigerator, Sendai-san.」
「Ah, sorry.」
In a daze, a voice calls out to me from behind and I close the refrigerator, which I had left open.
Let’s eat first before studying.
It was not that either of us initiated it; it just happened naturally.
If my body had been switched on, I would have been able to get into study mode. But we couldn’t change our minds quickly enough, so we came to the kitchen.
So far, so good, but there is one problem.
That is the refrigerator in Miyagi’s house.
「I still don’t see anything in there.」
「The carrots, it’s in there.」
When I opened the vegetable room at Miyagi’s request, I found carrots lying around in the large space.
「Is this all the vegetables you have?」
「Oh, and this.」
I pick up a carrot, turn around, and a bag of potatoes is shoved in my hand. I was then given more stew roux and the menu for dinner is derived.
「…You don’t have any proteins here.」
I don’t know if Miyagi had prepared the stew because she wanted to eat it, or if it just happened to be there, but I don’t think the vegetables alone were enough of an ingredient.
「Protein is the meat?」
「Yes. Don’t you have an alternative?」
I placed the carrots and potatoes on the cooktop and ask.
I can make stew without meat, but a stew without protein is a little sad.
「This is?」
As I pull out the cutting board and knife, Miyagi brings a can of corned beef.
「That’s a good one. I’ll do the rest. You can sit down.」
Not to say that she was only a hindrance even if she was there, but Miyagi is not an asset in making dinner. If I let her hold the knife, I worry that she will cut her fingers, and if I entrust her with the pot, I worry that she will put something in it on her own. It’s better to make it alone than to be on edge while watching her.
Besides, I’m afraid of silence today.
When the conversation is interrupted, Miyagi’s presence becomes a concern. I think I’ll be able to cook dinner more calmly if I keep it away from her.
I know why she don’t want to keep quiet.
Perhaps it was because she had not only said what she wanted to say, but also because I was going to stay the night, but I felt a stirring in the back of my mind when Miyagi was nearby. All I can think over is what Miyagi is thinking or thinking about
Perhaps Miyagi is no different from me.
She looks like she’s fidgeting and looking for a conversation starter.
So it’s better to keep a physical distance, even if it’s just for a little while. By the time the stew is ready, we should be closer to our usual selves than we are now. But Miyagi won’t leave the kitchen.
「You don’t have to help, just wait over there.」
I looked at the living room while washing the potatoes and pointed with my gaze to where she should be. But Miyagi took the freshly washed potatoes from me.
「…I’ll help.」
I hear a grumpy voice.
Why?
Even Miyagi would have preferred to be a little further away from me than to be by my side. That’s why I don’t understand why shs would go out of her way to say something unusual.
「What are you going to help me with?」
「I’m going to peel potatoes and carrots.」
With that said, Miyagi picks up a knife and begins to wrestle with the potatoes.
I involuntarily stare at her hand.
「…What?」
Miyagi says in a grumpier voice than before.
「No, it’s nothing.」
I didn’t think people who cut off their hands instead of cabbage would willingly help.
I swallow the words I was about to say and prepare a pot. Next to her is a row of potatoes with their skins peeled off rather thickly.
「Peeled vegetables, do you want me to cut them?」
「It’s fine. I’ll do it.」
「Are you okay?」
「Sendai-san, you’re noisy. If you talk to me, I get distracted.」
I am beginning to wonder if I should have entrusted the potatoes and carrots to someone who can’t cut vegetables without that much concentration. But it seems difficult to take the knife away from Miyagi now, and I can only watch her chopping vegetables with a dangerous hand.
With a heavy thud, the mismatched vegetables are lined up on the cutting board. I throw Miyagi’s chopped vegetables into a pan with oil and fry them. When the corned beef is also sauteed and begins to simmer with water, the only thing that can be done is to remove the yolk and silence is created.
Miyagi calls me「Sendai-san」as if she is in trouble.
「I’ll just sit over there.」
「Okay.」
I was left in the kitchen, watching the pot of missing onions and take up the yawning.
Today, Miyagi did not make it clear which school she wanted to attend.
But I knew what Utsunomiya had told me was correct.
Just because I understand it doesn’t change the status quo, and the day when this relationship ends is also set. For some reason, Miyagi’s intentions seem firm, and nothing I say is likely to change the situation.
However, I could tell that Miyagi also enjoys my company. And maybe, surely, just a little bit, I would like to see her after graduation.
That’s all I can do for now.
I remove the yolk, turn off the heat, and divide the stew roux.
The white chunks that fell out melted and stained the inside of the pot white.
As I was simmering, Miyagi asked from the living room,「Is it ready?」Miyagi asked from the living room.
「It’s almost ready. Get the plate ready.」
「Okay.」
With that said, Miyagi brings two curry plates with rice on them.
「Forget the rice, bring me a plate for stew.」
「I brought it, but…」
「Where?」
「Over here.」
Miyagi puts the curry dish with rice on it on the cooking table.
「…We’re having stew today.」
「I know that, so I brought you a plate.」
I look at the curry dish.
There is only one answer that can be derived from a plate with rice.
「Do you put stew over rice, Miyagi?」
「Eh? Don’t you put stew on your rice, Sendai-san?」
「You don’t put it on, normally.」
「I’ll put it on, normally.」
Disagreement.
On the contrary, Miyagi looks at me as if to say, “You are the one who is wrong.”
「I put curry on it. I don’t put stew on it.」
「Stew is a member of the curry family, right? Besides, there’s less washing up to do if you pour it on.」
「I don’t think that’s the issue.」
「And it’s the same when it goes into the stomach.」
Two plates of curry are lined up on the counter table, pushed aside by Miyagi, who says it like it’s a hassle. Of course, what’s on the plate is rice with stew on top.
「Itadakimasu.」
Miyagi eats stew as if it were curry.
「…Itadakimasu.」
I scoop the stew and rice with a spoon and bring it to my mouth as well. This is the first time I’ve had stew this way, but I don’t mind so much once I eat it. I don’t think it would be a bad idea to have it with Miyagi.
I definitely don’t want to share the stew and rice, and since it’s Miyagi’s house, I have no objection to following her lead. And more to the point, this is not important, and I feel more comfortable talking about things that don’t matter today.
But the unimportant talk doesn’t last long.
Soon the conversation is cut short and the only sound is the spoon hitting the plate.
The silence is still heavy today.
「Is Miyagi alone on New Year’s Eve too?」
Unable to find a suitable topic to fill the silence, I uttered something bland.
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「My parents will be there on New Year’s Eve.」
「I see.」
「On New Year, does Sendai-san will go for Hatsumode?」
As if remembering, Miyagi says and takes a bite of the stew.
「Yes. Do you want to go with me, Miyagi?」
「There’s no way I’m going. You’re going with Ibaraki-san, right?」
「Are you going if I don’t go with her?」
「…I won’t go.」
Miyagi denies my words in a soft voice.
I don’t dislike this attitude of hers.
When I see her in a bad mood over a little joke, I want to poke her more. I think it’s cute, although I won’t actually go any further because it would make her mood even worse and I would regret it.
But if I avoid the topic, there is not much to talk about. It’s a conversation that quickly ends without a bounce, whether it’s about winter break plans or exams. Then I want to touch on a topic I know I’d rather not touch.
「You know just now, you never told me before that you should stay the night… What’s the reason for today?」
I know Miyagi’s words mean what they say and there is no deeper meaning there.
She just wanted to have dinner with someone, or she was sad to be alone at the end of the year, or something like that. There was no way Miyagi would have let me stay over expecting something.
Still, it’s impossible not to be aware of it at all.
I want Miyagi to say something that will make me know that she is not expecting me.
「… I’ve asked you to teach me how to study.」
「I heard that.」
「Well, then don’t ask.」
Miyagi says in a cold voice.
A promise to teach her to study during the winter vacation.
Today, it was just an excuse to call me. So I’m not convinced that it’s called studying, but Miyagi doesn’t give me any more reason than that.
「Sendai-san, I’ll go wash the dishes.」
Miyagi stands up to see when I finished my stew.
「Okay then.」
I quickly leave the living room and watch Miyagi walk back to her room and eat her stew. Then, after washing up, I went back to my room and no one was there.
Somewhat relieved, I exhaled and the door opened.
「You can take a bath first. For change of clothes, my sweatshirt is fine, right?」
Asked by Miyagi, who opened the closet, I would reply with an indistinct「Eh, uh, yeah.」
「Then, here. A change of clothes and a towel.」
I was given a navy blue sweatshirt and a white towel.
「The bathtub was already boiling.」
「I put out hot water before we ate. I’ve got a hair dryer and all that stuff over there.」
She didn’t push me back but told me to kick her out, so I headed for the bathroom.
There was a basket in front of the washing machine and I put my sweatshirt in it.
I see.
That’s right.
I didn’t bring a change of clothes, so this is what happens.
The day I came to this house in the rain, I borrowed Miyagi’s clothes.
I once forgot my gym clothes in gym class and borrowed them from a friend in another class. It’s not a big deal to wear someone else’s clothes.
But today, it bothers me a lot.
I don’t think I should care.
I know I am crazy to care about this kind of thing.
I give myself a pat on the cheek and then remove the pendant.
I put it on the sweatshirt and take off my clothes.
I turn around, curious about what’s behind me, and see my reflection in the mirror. It just shows me the same as usual, but I can’t watch it. When I looked away, I saw a hair dryer and hairbrush on the vanity box.
Of course, everything here belongs to Miyagi’s house and not mine.
I squeezed my eyes shut and open them.
I let out a small breath and then open the bathroom door.