(Intro and Chapters 1 - 10 can be found here: Sissy (娘娘腔))
(Chapters 11 - 20 can be found here: Sissy (娘娘腔) c11 - c20)
(Chapters 21 - 30 can be found here:Sissy (娘娘腔) c21 - c30)
(Chapters 31 - 40 can be found here:Sissy (娘娘腔) c31 - c40)
(Chapters 41 - 50 can be found here:Sissy (娘娘腔) c41 - c50)
Chapter 51
Li Chengxiu stayed up all night and was completely dispirited the next day. He was staring at the report in front of him, feeling that the numbers were floating all over the page, and he couldn’t understand anything.
When it was time for his lunch break, he mustered up the courage to turn on his phone.
As soon as the phone was on, several missed calls and many text messages popped up.
Seeing that the messages were from the unfamiliar number, Li Chengxiu hesitated, before opening them.
"I miss you."
"Chengxiu, I miss you."
"I miss you."
"I’m thinking about you all the time."
Li Chengxiu couldn't stand it anymore, so he quickly closed everything.
His eyes were sore and his legs felt soft, so he squatted down on the floor in the hallway.
Was Li Chengxiu someone who never learned from his mistakes? Even after being deceived by Shao Qun so many times, he still couldn't help being moved by this inexplicable behavior.
Li Chengxiu raised his hand and fiercely slapped himself. A crisp sound immediately echoed in the hallway.
Shao Qun lied to him, but he couldn’t lie to himself.
This person only hurt him, insulted him, deceived him, treated him like a servant and a convenient bedmate and never respected him.
No matter what Shao Qun did or said now, it was all a sham and couldn’t be believed.
Li Chengxiu won’t believe it. He’ll never believe it.
Shao Qun was the most terrifying virus in the whole world. Only by staying away as far as possible could the wounds finally be healed, and Li Chengxiu could avoid making the same mistakes.
Li Chengxiu sniffed, tremblingly took apart his phone, removed the SIM card and threw it into the trash.
Shao Qun had never been so humiliated in his entire life.
No matter how much of a bastard he was, he couldn’t antagonize his father. Also, he was afraid that if he really pissed off his father and his sister, they would somehow take it out on Li Chengxiu, so he was forced to return home.
It's just that every minute and every second of being separated from Li Chengxiu was a torment for him.
He couldn’t stop thinking about what Li Chengxiu might be doing right now. Was he with Li Shuo? What were they talking about? What were they doing? How happy they probably were spending time in places Shao Qun couldn’t see…
Shao Qun felt that his heart was completely empty.
General Shao had seized the opportunity to finally teach his son a lesson. As long as he was free, he would call Shao Qun over to scold and lecture him. Shao Qun wanted to return to Shenzhen several times, but his father didn’t give him any possibility to argue.
When General Shao was still in his active years, he was away from home almost all year round. Around the same time all his four children were born. He was outside the maternity ward only when Shao Qun was born. All the other times he was out on assignments.
In fact, he himself was not that feudal, that he only cared about having a son. General Shao actually thought that having daughters was very good - they were well–behaved and obedient. However, his wife felt guilty for having three daughters in a row and insisted on having a son. After giving birth to Shao Qun, her body began to fail. Later, she died when Shao Qun was only five or six years old.
General Shao was accustomed to giving orders all his life. His wife was the only link he had between him and his young children. When this link was gone, he found that he couldn’t communicate with his children at all, let alone understand how to get along with them.
Shao Qun was basically brought up by his three older sisters. Even though father and son lived under the same roof, they had very little communication.
He couldn’t understand Shao Qun’s cocky behavior of a pampered son from a wealthy family. Especially, he didn’t get all of his messy affairs. Of course, it’s not like he didn’t know what kind of morals his own son had but, no matter how young and frivolous he was, one day he was supposed to step on the right path.
But the current Shao Qun made General Shao completely exasperated.
When he tried to speak to him, Shao Qun would just sit there motionless with his head down and a soulless look on his face, making Old General Shao angry to no end.
In the evening, Li Wenxun came over to take Shao Qun out.
Xiao Sheng also heard that Shao Qun had returned to Beijing. He originally went back to Shanghai for New Year’s but he deliberately returned to Beijing just for Shao Qun’s sake.
Mr. Shao actually brought Shao Qun back to let him clear his mind from all the nonsense, so he was not very willing to let him go out. However, he didn’t want to be disrespectful to the younger generation.
Shao Qun got into the car without saying a word.
Xiao Sheng put a hand in front of his eyes and waved: "Hey, what are you thinking about? We’ve arranged everything."
Shao Qun shook his head, nodded and finally just impatiently looked out the window.
Li Wenxun, who was sitting in the front seat, looked back at Xiao Sheng and showed an “I told you so!” expression.
When they were halfway there, Shao Qun suddenly took out his mobile phone and made a call.
"Hey, Xiao Zhou."
"Mr. Shao, you have finally turned on your phone! We have a lot of decisions we’re not so sure about at the company…"
Shao Qun interrupted him, "Have you found out Li Chengxiu's phone number and his place of residence?"
Xiao Zhou was stunned for a moment: "Mr. Shao, there are business iss..."
"I don't care! Let my eldest sister take care of it. She can handle everything and manage all the decisions. Have you found out Li Chengxiu's phone number and where he lives?"
"Well, we still have someone tailing Li Shuo. It’s just a question of time."
Shao Qun said in a serious tone: "Hurry up, I need it as soon as possible." After that, he hung up the phone.
The car fell silent for a long while. No one spoke again.
Li Wenxun and Xiao Sheng took Shao Qun to the club they used to frequent some time ago.
As soon as they entered the door, a gorgeous woman greeted them. Her eyes lit up when she saw Shao Qun: "Oh, Mr. Shao, it's been a long time since I've seen you here! Just yesterday Dongdong was talking to me about you. He’d be happy to know that you’re back."
Shao Qun snorted indifferently, without even raising his eyes.
Li Wenxun waved at the woman: "Go and call our usual darlings to join us."
The waiter led them into the private lounge, and Li Wenxun ordered drinks.
Shao Qun sat down at the very edge of the sofa, staring thoughtfully at his phone screen.
Xiao Sheng sat right next to him and pushed his arm: "Hey, Shao Qun!"
Shao Qun only made a soft "um" sound.
"What's the matter with you? I heard that you had a fight with your old man because of Li Chengxiu."
Shao Qun paused and then glared at him.
Xiao Sheng was both angry and amused: "What are you glaring at me for? Did I do something to you?"
Shao Qun took a sip of wine: "I can't stay in Beijing any longer. Who knows what sweet lovey-dovey shit is going on between Li Chengxiu and that phony foreign devil? And my dad won't let me go. Damn it!"
Xiao Sheng sighed: "Shao Qun, do you realize what you are doing right now? Last time in Shanghai I advised you on this issue, and you said you understood perfectly. So why has it come to this?"
Shao Qun shook his head: "You know shit, Xiao Sheng. Li Chengxiu... He is different from others."
"No matter how different he is, he won't be able to give birth to a son. Do you think it was worth it to offend Old Qi and embarrass your father in front of him?"
There was a visible struggle on Shao Qun’s face. After thinking for a while, he slowly said, "Xiao Sheng, you don't understand. I…I really can't let him go."
Xiao Sheng was dismissive: "It’s only a matter of time until you can let him go. I don’t believe you actually care so much about him. At best, he’s just a novelty. There’s probably a few people in the world that you could really fall in love with…But most of the time, once the lust is satisfied, love is also gone. Do you remember A-Shan? He took pills and slit his wrists for his little girlfriend. And how did that end? He’s back on his horse again, living his happy life and flirting around. That’s how feelings work. When your mind is clouded by passion, you feel that the sky will collapse without the other party. But in a few years, when you look back on this, I’m afraid, you won’t even remember who Li Chengxiu is.”
Shao Qun looked at his transparent wine glass with a hint of doubt in his eyes.
Maybe Xiao Sheng was right. Maybe the whole situation with Li Shuo just provoked him. Maybe he just couldn’t handle Li Chengxiu cuckolding him and that’s why he acted so impulsively. Maybe he just hadn’t gotten used to life without Li Chengxiu yet.
Xiao Sheng patted him on the shoulder: "You have a bad temper. The more you can’t get something, the more you want it. You’re just annoyed that you can’t get it. I know you too well. You’re now making a lot of noise, but once you get Li Chengxiu back, I guarantee you will be bored with him in a few days. It’s interesting to think about, isn’t it?"
Shao Qun felt an inexplicable sadness in his heart.
Was this really the case?
It did sound like him. He always had to fight and win. The more resistance he faced, the more interesting it got for him. If he couldn’t get someone, he absolutely had to get them. And afterwards, the freshness didn’t last long.
Was it the same with Li Chengxiu?
There was a knock on the door outside the lounge, and the beautiful woman from before brought in three handsome men and three charming women with her. As soon as they entered the room, they approached the guys sitting on the sofa.
One of the handsome young men called out, "Young Master Shao!" as soon as he saw Shao Qun.
Shao Qun raised his head and glanced at the guy. The face seemed vaguely familiar but he couldn’t remember who it was.
Seeing Shao Qun's indifferent expression, the boy didn’t care at all. He obediently greeted Xiao Sheng with a courteous "Master Ke", then sat down next to Shao Qun and gently took him by his arm:
"Young Master Shao, I am Dongdong. Don’t you remember me?"
Shao Qun didn’t pay any attention to him and continued drinking his wine.
Dongdong hurriedly refilled his glass and brought it right to his mouth.
Shao Qun took another sip of wine, suddenly grabbed Xiao Sheng’s arm, interrupting his conversation with the beautiful woman beside him, and asked hoarsely, "What if it’s not the case?"
Xiao Sheng was stunned by this brainless question: "What?"
Shao Qun's gaze kept flickering, and he dazedly looked at Xiao Sheng for a long time before reluctantly letting go of his arm and getting up to go to the bathroom.
As soon as he entered the stall, Dongdong, who had followed him inside, locked the door behind them with a charming smile.
Shao Qun gave him a cold look and unfastened his zipper.
When Shao Qun was done relieving himself, Dongdong immediately squatted down and put his mouth on him, without bothering about cleanliness at all.
Shao Qun looked at the boy who was doing his best down there. The swirl of hair on his head was a bit similar to Li Chengxiu's, and even this dark brown hair color reminded him of Li Chengxiu.
He tried his best to imagine that it was actually Li Chengxiu right now who was servicing him, but it didn't work. Li Chengxiu wouldn't be acting like that. He was always anxious and reluctant to do this for Shao Qun. His technique also wasn’t particularly skillful but Shao Qun still enjoyed it a lot.
That kind of inexperienced, clumsy, yet very sincere reaction of shyly trying to please him couldn’t be faked. No one has ever given to Shao Qun as unreservedly as Li Chengxiu did, and he never asked for anything in return.
There was only one such Li Chengxiu in the world. If he missed out on him, he would never meet anyone like that anymore.
Shao Qun's heartache was unbearable, and he couldn’t even straighten out his waist. He kicked the boy away to the ground and said in a hoarse voice, "Scram."
The boy was quite sensible. As soon as he figured out the situation, he immediately got up from the ground, turned around and rushed out.
Shao Qun’s eyes felt sore. He quickly turned on the cold water and splashed his face a few times. Looking at the haggard face in the mirror, he couldn't even recognize himself for a moment.
This club was the place he most often frequented in Beijing. It should have been familiar and comforting, yet now he only felt bored.
What he wanted most was to spend a peaceful and warm night together with Li Chengxiu during such a lukewarm season. Without Li Chengxiu, Shao Qun suddenly had nowhere to go back to.
It's not that he had never pursued arrogant and difficult beauties. People like that could arouse his desire to conquer every time, giving him an unexpected stimulation and a welcomed challenge. But before Li Chengxiu came along, Shao Qun had never thought of staying with just one person for the rest of his life.
Such a quiet person with a feeble presence had gradually entered his heart, taken root there and sprouted. And now taking him out was just as painful as gouging his heart with a knife.
When Shao Qun entered the lounge again, his friends looked up at him.
He said lightly, "I'm going back."
Big Li stood up in front of him, frowning, "Xiao Sheng flew in here from Shanghai especially for you. It's rare for us to get together once in a while. It’s kind of shitty of you."
Shao Qun whispered: "I want to go back to Shenzhen."
"What?"
"I'm going back to Shenzhen."
Li Wenxun and Big Li looked at each other.
Xiao Sheng said: "Oh, don’t stand in the way of Master Shao! Have you forgotten that he can lock you up if he’s unhappy? It’s not like he hasn’t done something like this before."[1]
Shao Qun ripped at his hair: "I have to go back to Shenzhen. I have to get Li Chengxiu back."
Li Wenxun showed a particularly incomprehensible expression: "Are you even Shao Qun? Is this little sissy worth it? Are you not afraid that people will laugh at you?"
Shao Qun gritted his teeth and said, "Who the hell would dare to laugh at me? Besides, it's better to be laughed at than watch him be together with someone else." Shao Qun turned around and slammed the door before leaving.
He could understand why these guys would think that. After all, they were the same kind of people as he was. It was indeed laughable to hear about a man who got entangled in a gay love affair. But Shao Qun couldn't care less anymore. He only knew that without Li Chengxiu, he would go crazy.
It was almost midnight when Shao Qun got back home, and Mr. Shao was just about to go to bed. He was surprised to see his son come back so early. But then Shao Qun stood upright in front of him and said, "Dad, I'm going back to Shenzhen."
Mr. Shao raised his head slightly and squinted at him: "What do you intend to do?"
"I'm going back to Shenzhen. The first flight leaves tomorrow morning."
Old General Shao hurriedly stood up from the sofa and said loudly, "What the hell is wrong with you? Did I let you go?"
Shao Qun’s face was expressionless: "I have to go."
"For what? For that Li something?"
"I have business in Shenzhen that’s waiting for me. There are a lot of things going on in the company. I have to leave."
"Pure bullshit! You’re leaving because of that… because of that… Are you not even ashamed of yourself? Are you trying to piss me off to death?"
Shao Qun just stiffly said: "I just told you. I have to go back."
Mr. Shao was really angry. He wandered around the living room, picked up his golf club and used it to hit Shao Qun’s knee socket. Shao Qun immediately knelt down on the ground.
Mr. Shao then beat his back with the same golf club.
Shao Qun gritted his teeth and endured it silently.
The housekeeper aunty who was resting in the nanny's room at the time hurried out after hearing weird sounds. She had taken care of Shao Qun for more than ten years, and when she saw him being beaten up like that, she felt very distressed.
"Master, master! Stop hitting him! Stop it! You’re going to break his back!"
Mr. Shao turned a deaf ear to her cries and didn't show any mercy at all.
Shao Qun’s back felt on fire, and he could already taste blood between his lips and his teeth.
The housekeeper couldn't stop the Old General, so she rushed back into her room, took out her mobile phone and called Shao Wen.
By the time Shao Wen came over in the middle of the night, General Shao was so tired that he was panting on the sofa, while Shao Qun was still kneeling on the ground.
When Shao Wen saw her brother like that, she almost started crying. She carefully tried to calm her father down.
Mr. Shao locked Shao Qun up in his room. There were people standing guard outside the gate of the house, and there was no shortage of other people watching his movements.
After Shao Qun was locked up, he refused to cooperate with the doctor in regards to his back injury and he also refused to eat.
His old man was his old man after all. He couldn’t directly go against him but he wanted to see who would give in first.
After he had stayed locked up in his room for two days already, assistant Zhou finally took the initiative to contact him and give him Li Chengxiu's new mobile phone number.
Shao Qun stared at the number and hesitated for a long time before summoning the courage to call him.
Li Chengxiu's gentle voice came from the other end of the phone: "Hello?"
Shao Qun felt that there were thousands of words stuck in his throat, and he was speechless for a while.
The other side said another doubtful "Hello", and Shao Qun cautiously called out, "Chengxiu."
The phone was hung up without hesitation.
Shao Qun almost started crying.
He reluctantly called that number over and over again until the other end was turned off.
Shao Qun just wanted to hear Li Chengxiu’s voice. But Li Chengxiu didn't want to hear his voice anymore.
Shao Qun tremblingly typed "I miss you" and sent it.
These three short words were like a password to the sealed box of Shao Qun’s emotions. Now that it was open, he suddenly realized what it was like to have a complete and utter emotional breakdown.
He typed in and sent "I miss you" over and over again, as if to pass on all his thoughts, regrets, grievances, and sadness he was feeling right now, begging the other party to give him some sympathy and response.
Shao Qun’s vision got blurry, and he suddenly couldn’t see anything.
Chapter 52
Li Chengxiu called Li Shuo from the company phone and told him that he had changed his phone number.
Li Shuo felt it was a little strange: "Why did you change your number?"
Li Chengxiu whispered, "I lost my SIM card."
Li Shuo said: "It’s not a problem. You can get a replacement SIM card and keep your number. I'll take you to the shop tomorrow."
Li Chengxiu hurriedly said, "No need!"
Li Shuo frowned: "No need?"
Li Chengxiu hesitantly said, "I… I already bought a new one."
Li Shuo pondered for a while: "Then tell me your new number."
Li Chengxiu choked and couldn’t speak for a long time.
Li Shuo sighed, a little disappointed: "Chengxiu, why are you lying?"
Li Chengxiu slumped on his chair, not sure how to explain everything to Li Shuo.
He didn't want to tell Li Shuo that Shao Qun called him. He didn't want Li Shuo to worry. Li Shuo had already suffered a lot of horrible treatment because of him. Li Chengxiu felt guilty for subjecting him to all of this.
Li Shuo asked softly, "Chengxiu, am I not worthy of your trust?"
Li Chengxiu hurriedly said, "No, that’s not it."
"Then why are you hiding things from me? Did Shao Qun call you?"
Li Chengxiu felt uncomfortable for a while, but finally hummed softly.
Li Shuo gritted his teeth and said, "This bastard isn’t done yet?."
Li Chengxiu's voice was a little weak, "Li-Dage, what should I do?"
Li Shuo reassured him: "Let me think of a way. Buy a new SIM card and tell me your phone number. In the future, don’t answer any unfamiliar numbers."
"Okay……"
Li Shuo sighed, "Chengxiu, if anything comes up in the future, remember to tell me next time. The two of us should stand together, okay?"
"I'm just afraid that you’re going to worry."
"Wouldn’t I be even more worried, if Shao Qun was harassing you without me knowing? When he kidnapped you, I was so worried that I couldn't sleep at all. If you really don't want me to worry, communicate with me in time and don't let something like that happen again!"
Li Chengxiu's heart gradually warmed up. Thinking of the deep gentleness of the person on the other end of the phone, he felt empowered. His heart, which had been agitated and in a state of panic all day, gradually calmed down: "Thank you, Li-Dage."
Li Shuo said with a smile: "Oh come on, I’m the one who has to thank you. Just don’t disappear from my sight again, okay?”
Li Chengxiu's heart was slightly aching, as he said: "Okay."
After that phone call, it had been quiet for a few days.
Li Chengxiu thought that this matter was over, and he unconsciously relaxed his vigilance.
This night he worked overtime, and when he came home it was already dark.
He lived in an old house, and it was usually very dark when he entered the staircase. The lights on the first floor didn’t work.
He walked upstairs and headed towards his apartment. Just as he turned the corner, he saw a dark shadow sitting next to his door, blocking the entrance completely.
Li Chengxiu couldn’t even see if it was a person. He was so frightened that he was getting ready to run.
As soon as he turned around, he heard some movement. Then a hoarse voice came from behind him: "Chengxiu."
Li Chengxiu was stunned for a moment. Although the voice was hoarse, Li Chengxiu was too familiar with it and could recognize it no matter what.
Li Chengxiu's face turned pale instantly. He turned his head slightly and watched Shao Qun sway from one side to the other, as he slowly got up to his feet.
Shao Qun had lost a lot of weight, his hair was a little messy, there was stubble on his chin, and his cheeks were abnormally flushed.
Li Chengxiu wanted to leave, but this is where he lived after all. Where could he go so late at night?
Shao Qun looked at Li Chengxiu who was constantly backing away, frowned and panted, "I came all the way back to see you. Not even a minute of rest… and I have been waiting for you all day. Will you let me in for a glass of water?"
Li Chengxiu stepped back to the wall, looked at Shao Qun alertly and said hoarsely, "Go away."
Shao Qun focused his gaze on him for about two seconds. Then with deep disappointment in his eyes and a self-deprecating smile on his lips he said: "You’re really not polite with me. Kicking me out directly... I remember you used to be so lame that you didn't even dare to speak loudly to people. But now… How can you be so tough with me? Hmm?"
Li Chengxiu leaned against the wall and slowly moved towards the stairs: "What do you want?"
"What the fuck do I want? I just want to see you, to see if you're doing well, and whether you're happy with your lover." After saying that, Shao Qun felt sick and lowered his head.
Li Chengxiu pointed at the stairs tremblingly and repeated: "Go away. I… I'm fine."
Shao Qun suddenly raised his head, and his eyes flashed with resentment, staring right into Li Chengxiu's heart.
Shao Qun then walked towards him - one step after the other.
Shocked, Li Chengxiu was about to run downstairs but before he could even turn around, Shao Qun had already pounced on him.
Shao Qun's 188 cm body pressed onto Li Chengxiu, who then tried his best to avoid him and for that reason made both of them fall to the ground.
Feeling Shao Qun’s body on top of his, Li Chengxiu realized that Shao Qun had a fever. His skin was hot, and he murmured his name into his ear.
Li Chengxiu tried hard to push him away in order to get up, but Shao Qun had already fainted and lay on him like a stone.
Li Chengxiu looked at Shao Qun, whose eyes were closed and whose face was flushed. He was even slightly gasping for air. For a moment, Li Chengxiu didn’t know what to do.
He couldn't help but touch Shao Qun's forehead and found that he was really burning up. The clothes he was wearing were very thin, and his whole body was shaking.
This was the first time he saw Shao Qun get sick. It turned out that people like him could also get sick and have such a fragile expression on their faces. Li Chengxiu felt an inexplicable pain in his heart.
Should he call an ambulance? Li Chengxiu gave it a serious thought.
He heard that calling an ambulance might cost thousands of RMB ...
Li Chengxiu sighed, crawled out from under Shao Qun with great difficulty and took out his key to open the door.
No matter how much he shunned this person, he couldn't leave him with a high fever in the cold corridor right in front of his apartment.
As soon as he opened the door, Teacup heard his movements, ran up to him, rubbed its face against his trousers and looked up at him eagerly.
Li Chengxiu lightly pushed the little pup away with his foot: "Get out of the way, little guy, so I don't step on you!" He crouched down and used all his strength to drag Shao Qun inside.
Teacup bared its teeth at Shao Qun and barked, biting Shao Qun's trousers, trying to prevent this person from entering.
Li Chengxiu was afraid that Shao Qun might accidentally fall on Teacup. His hands were full, so he could only use his foot to move Teacup away yet again. The palm-sized little puppy got agitated, barked angrily and continued biting Shao Qun's trousers to drag him out of the apartment. So not only did Li Chengxiu have to drag Shao Qun, he also had to deal with the dog from time to time. Thus, it took him several minutes to get from the door to the sofa.
Li Chengxiu was sweating from exhaustion after spending so much effort to get Shao Qun onto the sofa.
He first looked for a blanket to cover Shao Qun up and then for some anti-inflammatory and antipyretic medicine. Finally, he poured a glass of water, squatted beside the sofa and tried to wake Shao Qun up.
Shao Qun opened his eyes in confusion and tearfully looked at Li Chengxiu.
Li Chengxiu brought the medicine right to his mouth and said: "Take it."
It seemed that Shao Qun's eyes were nailed to Li Chengxiu’s face. He stared at Li Chengxiu without blinking, as he slowly opened his mouth.
Li Chengxiu put the medicine into his mouth and made him drink some water.
Shao Qun tilted his head slightly, and all the water spilled out of his mouth. Li Chengxiu couldn't help but remind him: "Careful, don't choke."
Shao Qun's eyes lit up slightly, and he looked at him with deep emotion.
Li Chengxiu put the cup on the coffee table and quickly stood up.
Shao Qun grabbed his sleeve. His throat hurt so bad that he had to cough a few times before he could barely make a sound: "Don't go!"
Li Chengxiu pursed his lips, pulled his sleeves back, took out his mobile phone from his pocket and handed it to Shao Qun: "Call someone to pick you up."
Shao Qun retracted his hand that was just hanging stiffly in the air, closed his eyes in discomfort and turned his head to the side.
Li Chengxiu was stunned for a while, but continued: "Shao Qun, ask someone to pick you up. You can't…stay at my house."
Shao Qun's Adam's apple went up and down. After a while he turned his head and said hoarsely, "Chengxiu, are you really that cruel?"
Li Chengxiu closed his eyes and held the phone in front of him.
Shao Qun felt a deep pain in his heart. He raised his hand and hit Li Chengxiu’s palm.
It hurt enough for Li Chengxiu to drop the phone on the floor.
Teacup, who was squatting beside him the whole time, bowed his body and assumed an attacking posture, barking at Shao Qun with all his strength.
Shao Qun coughed violently. His face turned bright red, as if he was about to cough out his lungs.
Li Chengxiu stared blankly at the phone lying on the ground and then at Shao Qun, who was constantly coughing. He finally squatted down and brought the cup of water to his mouth: "Drink, drink some water."
Shao Qun tremblingly opened his mouth, took a few sips of water and then slowly calmed down.
Li Chengxiu picked up the phone, put back the battery that had fallen out due to the fall and tried to turn it on again. Unfortunately, the screen went black right after it booted up. The phone was now unusable.[2]
Li Chengxiu angrily glared at Shao Qun .
He thought that if he couldn't get rid of Shao Qun, he would have to call Li Shuo, but now he couldn't even turn on the phone.
Although he knew Li Shuo's cell phone number by heart, where would he get a new phone in the middle of the night?
He turned around and asked Shao Qun, "Do you have a cell phone on you?"
Shao Qun had coughed so much that his brain was deprived of oxygen, his eyes were foggy and he was basically in a semi-conscious state.
Li Chengxiu squatted down next to Shao Qun and felt his pockets, but found that he had nothing other than his wallet and keys.
Li Chengxiu held the broken mobile phone and sat down on the sofa, staring in a daze at Shao Qun who was burning up with fever.
He didn't know what to do now.
He couldn't throw him out, but he couldn't keep him here either.
Looking at Shao Qun's haggard face, it seemed that all his arrogance and high-mightiness of the past were gone. At this time, he was just an ordinary sick young man with a fever who needed to be taken care of.
He remembered Shao Qun's weak "Don't go!"
The voice seemed to penetrate directly into his heart. Li Chengxiu knew that he shouldn't be so soft-hearted, and that a person like Shao Qun was not worthy of any kind of soft-heartedness, but he couldn't just ruthlessly throw him out.
Li Chengxiu let out a long sigh, got up and went to the kitchen to put on the rice porridge. He then prepared dinner for Teacup.
By the time Teacup was full and satisfied, the porridge was also ready.
Li Chengxiu put a bowl of porridge on the coffee table and gently pushed it towards Shao Qun: "Get up and eat something."
Shao Qun was in a confused state and had no reaction at all. Li Chengxiu had to call him for a long time before he finally slowly opened his eyes.
Li Chengxiu helped him sit up and handed him the bowl: "Eat."
Shao Qun's pale face and wet eyes were covered by heat vapors coming from the porridge. He quietly looked at Li Chengxiu with undisguised affection and nostalgia in his eyes.
Li Chengxiu felt uncomfortable under this look and urged him again, "Eat."
Shao Qun looked at the bowl blankly and didn’t move.
Li Chengxiu put the porridge back on the table, got up and was about to leave when Shao Qun tugged hard on his sleeve.
Li Chengxiu felt completely helpless. He sat down again, scooped a spoonful of porridge and brought it towards Shao Qun.
Shao Qun seemed happy and cooperatively opened his mouth.
This way he quickly finished the bowl. So quickly in fact that it seemed that Shao Qun hadn't eaten for a long time.
Li Chengxiu got up to wash the bowl and whispered, "Tomorrow…when I go to work… you should leave too."
Shao Qun said in a hoarse voice, "I'm so ill. Can’t you stay with me for a couple days?"
Li Chengxiu didn't say anything to that and just went to the kitchen without looking back. After cleaning up, he went into his bedroom together with Teacup and locked the door behind himself.
Shao Qun heard the sound of the lock, and even though his body was burning, his heart seemed to be immediately covered by a layer of ice.
Exhausted, Shao Qun lay on the tiny sofa, his head covered with a blanket.
The blanket smelled of Li Chengxiu - clean and fresh, with a hint of washing powder. It was as if he was still holding that person in his arms, his nose full of his scent. Shao Qun took a deep breath, trying to keep Li Chengxiu’s smell in his chest, so as to at least slightly relieve his pain.
The fact that Li Chengxiu took him in when he was sick, even if it was for just one night, meant that he still couldn’t be too cruel to him.
Shao Qun still had a chance...
Shao Qun comforted himself with these thoughts, smiled bitterly and slowly closed his eyes.
Li Chengxiu planned to leave early the next day. When he left, Shao Qun still hadn't woken up. Because he was sick, his sleep was especially deep.
Li Chengxiu touched his forehead and found that the fever had not subsided at all - Shao Qun was still burning up. Li Chengxiu was a little panicked. Apparently, the few pills he gave him were not enough. If Shao Qun continued to burn like this, he would soon become charcoal.
He hesitated for a while but then ran downstairs to the breakfast shop that always opened early and borrowed a phone from someone there. He immediately called Li Shuo.
He had already decided to send Shao Qun to the hospital, but he really couldn't carry Shao Qun downstairs by himself.
When Li Shuo answered the phone, his voice was still sleepy. But as soon as he heard that Shao Qun was at Li Chengxiu’s house, he was immediately awake and said that he would go over as soon as possible.
Li Chengxiu then called his work and asked for a half-day leave.
As soon as Li Shuo came, he carefully examined Li Chengxiu from top to bottom and asked nervously, "He didn't do anything to you, did he?"
Li Chengxiu shook his head: "He has a fever."
Only then was Li Shuo finally relieved. He glanced coldly at Shao Qun who was lying on the sofa: "I'm afraid he has hired someone to tail me. Otherwise, how did he find your place as soon as he came back from Beijing?"
Li Chengxiu's face was pale, and he witlessly asked, "What should I do…?"
Li Shuo took out his mobile phone: "I'll call his eldest sister and let her find someone to pick him up."
While Li Shuo was on the phone, Li Chengxiu was looking at the sleeping Shao Qun with his reddish face. For a moment, he felt that this person was like a child. No matter how tall he looked and mature he acted, he would still do so many unreasonable things that hurt others and himself.
Li Shuo quickly hung up the phone and put his arm around Li Chengxiu's shoulder: "His sister will soon send someone to take him away. Chengxiu, you did the right thing. You should always contact me when something like this happens."
Li Chengxiu nodded, not daring to say that Shao Qun had actually stayed here for an entire night.
Li Shuo looked at his dazed expression. He then turned Li Chengxiu’s face towards himself and softly said, "Are you alright?"
It took a long time until Li Chengxiu’s eyes could focus. He looked at Li Shuo and shook his head: "I’m fine."
Li Shuo lightly kissed his lips and smiled, "I haven't eaten yet. Do you have anything at home?"
Li Chengxiu remembered that he hadn't eaten either, so he went downstairs and ordered some noodles.
After the two of them had finished their meal, the people that were sent over by Shao Wen had finally appeared.
When they got Shao Qun off the sofa, he woke up and subconsciously freed himself from their grip.
He couldn't adapt to the surrounding environment for a while and looked around in confusion. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Li Chengxiu, but his expression changed immediately when he noticed Li Shuo.
He pointed at Li Shuo tremblingly, and asked Li Chengxiu in disbelief, "You called him?"
Li Chengxiu lowered his eyes.
It seemed Shao Qun was about to cry. He swayed slightly as he got up to his feet, and his speech was a bit slurred. Loudly he asked, "Li Chengxiu, in which way am I inferior to him? Tell me, in which way is he better than me? How can you treat me like this?"
Li Chengxiu trembled and lowered his head.
The person sent by Shao Wen was about to come up to help Shao Qun, but Shao Qun immediately pushed him away.
The person looked at him with some embarrassment: "Young Master..."
Shao Qun was approaching Li Chengxiu step by step, as he shouted in a hoarse voice: "I can give you everything that he can give you! I can treat you better than him. Why did you choose him? How am I inferior?"
Li Shuo said coldly: "Shao Qun, you are confused. Chengxiu is my boyfriend, please don't harass him in the future."
Shao Qun’s jaw dropped: "Li Chengxiu was originally mine! You took him away!"
Li Shuo said with a sneer: "Of course he’s mine now, since I stole him fair and square. Except I didn’t steal him. It was you who did everything in your power to push him away right into my arms. How about you ask your conscience, whether I would have even had a chance, if you had actually treated him well, cherished him and loved him? You only regret it now that you lost him.
Do you think that the whole world revolves around you? So he had to wait for you patiently, ready to forgive you at any time? Shao Qun, be a man. You lost. Chengxiu has already moved on. You are stuck in the same place, but he will never go back.”
Shao Qun froze in place, unable to say a word of rebuttal. He felt that something was tearing at his heart, and the pain was so horrible that he could hardly stand up.
Seeing Shao Qun's dazed expression, Li Chengxiu felt a terrible heartache. He reluctantly opened his mouth and slowly enunciated, "Shao Qun, let's not see each other ever again."
I'll never trust you, and I don't want to forgive you. Let’s just stop here.
Shao Qun looked at Li Chengxiu.
This was a face that haunted him. He missed it to the point of being unable to move. He thought about it and dreamed about it over and over again. He thought he was familiar enough with Li Chengxiu to know each and every expression of his, but his current expression was entirely unknown to him.
Li Chengxiu should be kind, timid, and soft-hearted. No matter what Shao Qun does, he should forgive him and treat him well.
But the man in front of him seemed so ruthless and cold. It was clear that he would never treat him well again. He was standing next to another man and was asking him to leave forever.
Shao Qun couldn't help recalling everything that he had done and everything that he had said.
He had squandered the gentleness and obedience of this man, taking it all for granted. He has made this man of his dreams cry many times, he has hurt him badly, and he has also repeatedly used his actions and his words to mercilessly humiliate him. He has made a lot of mistakes, to the extent that he doesn’t even dare to admit or face them. But no matter how much he tried to run away from it, finally he had to face the music. It was his retribution for the numerous wrongs he had committed in the past.
Li Chengxiu had already left, he completely abandoned Shao Qun and was never coming back to him.
Shao Qun was so heartbroken that he couldn't breathe. He stretched out his hand towards Li Chengxiu, but before he could raise his arm, he fell down.
The hired people next to him immediately supported him. Once they touched his forehead, they were immediately concerned.
"Quick, we need to hurry him to the hospital. He’s burning up."
The two men finally carried Shao Qun out.
The remaining two men were silent for a while. Li Shuo went to close the door.
He walked back to Li Chengxiu and said solemnly, "Chengxiu, you can't continue living here. I can't stand this bastard always harassing you. Move in with me."
Shao Qun's heartbroken face before he fainted still lingered in Li Chengxiu's mind. He was caught off guard by Li Shuo's sudden request and looked at him blankly.
Li Shuo said seriously: "We've been dating for a while now. I didn't plan to put pressure on you, but the situation is a bit different now. If you’re by my side, I can protect you. And then I can also feel much more at ease. Shao Qun is relentless - he will keep harassing you again and again. How can I, with good conscience, let you live alone under a threat like that?"
Li Chengxiu opened his mouth and looked at Li Shuo with an empty expression.
Li Shuo touched his face and asked expectantly, "Okay?"
Li Chengxiu's eyes were shining, he looked a little dazed, as he finally gently nodded: "Okay."
Chapter 53
However, after he had blurted out his promise to Li Shuo, Li Chengxiu immediately regretted it.
He was really not ready to start a life together with another person. But he reminded himself that since he had already accepted Li Shuo, he should try having a good life with him.
He knew how painful it was to be let down. So he couldn't let Li Shuo down no matter what.
On Saturday, Li Shuo came over to help him move.
Li Chengxiu was really exhausted from moving so many times in the past six months. When he moved to this place, he didn’t have a lot of luggage, and he hadn’t even unpacked many of the boxes yet. He seemed to have a hunch that he was not going to stay here for a long time.
At this age, he still had no house of his own, no place to go back to, and there was no one waiting for him to come home.
He could only keep changing from one place to another. This nomadic style of living had opened a big hole in his heart. Sadness, loss, and constant fear to lose everything again was present all the time.
When Li Chengxiu was sitting on the sofa with Teacup and waiting for Li Shuo. He looked around the empty room and couldn't help but feel uncomfortable.
The little Teacup followed him around to all these different places. He heard that it was bad for pets to constantly have to adapt to a new environment. Besides, Teacup was so small and much more fragile than ordinary dogs.
Sure enough, the puppy seemed to feel that something was up. It kept spinning on Li Chengxiu's knees and couldn't calm down. A small whimper came out of its throat.
Li Chengxiu gently touched its back, trying to soothe the pup. Softly he said, "I don't want to move either. If I had my own home, I wouldn’t need to move..."
Teacup whimpered again and rubbed its head against Li Chengxiu's palm.
Li Chengxiu held the dog up, touched its head with his lips and felt tears welling up in his eyes: "You’re really suffering together with me."
This little thing was more expensive than his three-month salary. It was squeamish and fragile. When Li Chengxiu left Shao Qun, he hesitated taking the dog with him. He was afraid that he wouldn’t be able to afford to care for it properly and wouldn’t give it the best life possible. However, when he thought about how Shao Qun had irresponsibly brought it to the house and then proceeded to completely ignore it, he felt that the pup would be better off with anybody who wasn’t Shao Qun. Now, Li Chengxiu was glad that he took the dog away with him. Although he couldn’t provide the best quality things for Teacup, it was still very healthy. Moreover, it was his only companion when Li Chengxiu felt lonely and sad. Teacup was never going to betray him, and it relied on him wholeheartedly. Li Chengxiu wondered if raising a child gave one the same feeling.
Li Chengxiu's hands trembled a little, and he quietly felt the little warmth under his palm.
When Li Shuo came over, he looked at the scattered boxes on the ground in surprise: "Chengxiu, is this all?"
Li Chengxiu nodded.
He has lived in this city for almost ten years, and he had only a few things that were worth keeping.
Li Shuo smiled and said, "Then it’s almost done. In fact, the only thing left is to move the two living creatures in this room.”
Li Chengxiu stood up and put Teacup in his jacket pocket: "Li-Dage, I will trouble you in the future."
Li Shuo came over and touched his head: "I’m happy to be able to see you every day."
Li Chengxiu smiled shyly.
The moving company that Li Shuo had hired was basically useless, since all Li Chengxiu’s things fit into the regular car.
In less than two hours, Li Chengxiu had moved to Li Shuo's house together with his luggage.
He had been to Li Shuo's house several times before, but when he entered it now, he witnessed an entirely different design.
Li Chengxiu was stunned.
Li Shuo's previous home decorations were simple and modern. The most commonly used material was metal which was very compatible with Li Shuo’s personality.
But in just two days, basically everything that could be changed in this home had been changed.
The crystal ceiling lamps at the entrance have been replaced with warm sheepskin lamps, the curtains were now light yellow, and almost all the furniture here was now made of wood. The numerous big changes and also small details have completely transformed the house, and the warm tones have made it appear extra warm and elegant.
Li Shuo pulled him into the room and took out a big pink house-looking thing from under the sofa.
Li Chengxiu took a closer look and realized that it was a very cute dog kennel, and just like Li Shuo's house, it was a duplex.
Li Shuo blinked his eyes and smiled: "If you have time, you can actually build an exact replica of my house to scale for the little Teacup."
Li Chengxiu couldn't help laughing. The warm emotions and gratitude in his heart could not be described in words. He just felt that meeting this person was probably the greatest luck in his life.
Li Shuo looked at his expression and was very happy. He walked over to hug him tenderly, and asked softly, "Do you like it?"
Li Chengxiu nodded.
"When I just moved in here, I visited the house during the renovations only three times in total, and I didn't pay much attention to what was going on. But when I thought of you coming to live here, I felt that our first home shouldn’t be a cold model house mass-produced by a design company."
Sweet warmth filled Li Chengxiu’s heart when he thought that while Li Shuo was so busy with work, he still managed to renovate the house in such a short period of time, just to welcome him. And he even took the little Teacup in consideration.
Li Shuo was indeed a perfect person and a perfect lover. Li Shuo was flawless, and being with him made Li Chnegxiu feel happy and at ease.
Li Shuo continued into his ear: "Here’s what I’m thinking. If one day we get married, we’ll pick a house together and decorate it together. We’ll pour our heart and soul into every tile and every single little detail. We’ll work hard to make the house look exactly the way we like, so that it can be considered a proper home. What do you think?"
Li Chengxiu trembled: "Li-Dage..."
Li Shuo tenderly took Li Chengxiu’s ear into his mouth and gently licked it.
The sharp and refreshing smell of Li Shuo's body filled Li Chengxiu's nostrils, and he felt something in his heart slowly softening, as he gradually leaned on his broad, warm, and reassuring chest.
After spending the afternoon unpacking, Li Chengxiu had a good talk with Li Shuo about their future life.
The general idea was that Li Chengxiu couldn’t live in Li Shuo's house for nothing, so he was going to take care of the household chores and living expenses.
Li Shuo thought that his current salary was enough to support two people, but he readily agreed.
He appreciated Li Chengxiu's independence and self-respect, so he was willing to respect him and cooperate with him.
He even prepared a separate bedroom for Li Chengxiu, but when he showed it to him, he still said with a smile, "Would be better, if you didn’t need it."
Li Chengxiu was a little embarrassed. He naturally understood what cohabitation meant. However, when the time came to face it, he was still scared.
In the evening, when Li Shuo came out of the shower, Li Chengxiu was still in the kitchen wrapping wontons for breakfast tomorrow.
Li Shuo leaned against the door frame to watch him for a while.
When Li Chengxiu heard his voice from behind, he turned around and smiled at Li Shuo.
Li Shuo was wearing dark red silk pajamas - the kind of close-fitting soft silk pajamas that outlined his tall and strong figure. He had also taken off his glasses a while ago, revealing a pair of deep and very attractive eyes. His hair was wet and still dripping, and some strands were stuck to his forehead. Without his usual meticulous perfect hairstyle Li Shuo suddenly looked much younger.
Li Shuo was originally a very handsome and extremely imposing man. When he was wearing a suit and his glasses, he had “elite” written on his forehead. But now, as he was wearing his home clothes, looking lazy and casual, there was a completely different atmosphere around him.
Li Chengxiu sighed to himself that Li Shuo was really a kind of person who was hard to take one's eyes off.
Li Shuo looked at Li Chengxiu’s hands: "Wrapping wontons?"
"Yes, for breakfast."
Li Shuo walked over, took a few glances and picked up a wonton skin: "I'll try it."
Li Chengxiu looked at him with a smile.
Li Shuo put some stuffing inside the skin and shaped the wonton wrapper into a dumpling.
Li Chengxiu laughed and said, "This is a dumpling!"
Wontons Dumplings
Li Shuo spread his hands helplessly, "I can only make dumplings. Can’t one eat them anyway?"
Li Chengxiu taught Li Shuo how to properly wrap wontons.
When Li Shuo had free time, he really enjoyed cooking as a hobby.
After the wrapping was done, Li Chengxiu put the wontons in the refrigerator, turned around and washed his hands.
It was a long day for Li Shuo. He had finally had a nice relaxing bath and was enjoying his evening. Looking at Li Chengxiu's white neck, he felt that his throat was suddenly a little dry.
Li Chengxiu was washing his hands and didn’t realize that Li Shuo was right behind him. He turned around and bumped directly into his arms.
Li Shuo took this opportunity to wrap his arms around Li Chengxiu’s waist. He then lowered his head, gently touched the tip of his nose with his own and said with a chuckle, "Chengxiu, no one has prepared breakfast for me in many years."
Li Chengxiu blushed: "I… I will eat too."
Li Shuo grinned, pressed him against the marble cabinet and leaned over to kiss his lips.
The two of them have been very busy recently. They haven't seen each other for many days and naturally haven't acted intimate for a long time, so Li Chengxiu was still a bit unaccustomed to the displays of affection and just passively accepted the kiss.
Li Shuo was however acting differently than usual. Normally, he would just gently kiss him a couple of times, but now his kisses were much more intense. The depth of this passion scared Li Chengxiu.
Li Shuo's skillful and passionate kiss made Li Chengxiu dizzy. By the time he came back to his senses, he felt Li Shuo's hand reach into his clothes and gently stroke his back.
Li Chengxiu froze, not knowing how to react.
Li Shuo licked Li Chengxiu’s red lips, then kissed his chin and Adam's apple. He then went all the way down and lightly bit his collarbone. His hands weren't idle either, as they erotically stroked all over his body.
Li Shuo's movements were gentle but passionate and could easily stimulate one's lust. The process was very enjoyable, yet Li Chengxiu felt more and more uncomfortable.
Li Shuo picked him up and sat him down on the cabinet. He then stood between his legs, kissing his delicate skin and slowly undoing his buttons.
Li Chengxiu's breathing became rapid and heavy, as if he was barely enduring something. Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore and pushed Li Shuo away.
Li Shuo was stunned and blankly looked at Li Chengxiu.
Nobody would be too happy to have cold water thrown on them right in the middle of a hot passionate moment. Li Shuo frowned slightly and touched Li Chengxiu's pale face: "Chengxiu, what is it with you?"
In his opinion, wasn’t this par for the course for two cohabitating adult men with an average age of over 30?
Li Chengxiu's face was sad and full of guilt: "Sor…Sorry."
Li Shuo calmed down and gave the situation a little thought. Finally, he found a reasonable explanation for Li Chengxiu’s behavior. Softly he asked, "Chengxiu, are you still afraid of this…?"
Li Shuo was referring to the fact that Li Chengxiu had experienced an extremely humiliating act of sexual violence.
Li Chengxiu's body was trembling.
Li Shuo sighed. All the unhappiness in his heart was now replaced by compassion. He gently kissed Li Chengxiu on the cheek: "Chengxiu, I’m not Shao Qun. If you’re not ready, I won’t force you... Do you feel a bit better now?"
Li Chengxiu lowered his head, biting his lips so hard that it drew blood.
Li Shuo stroked his lip line with his thumb, freeing Li Chengxiu’s lips from under his teeth.
He then took Li Chengxiu into his arms and gently stroked his back: "It's okay. You’re by my side now. You can clearly see that it's me - Li Shuo, nobody else. You are safe."
Li Chengxiu let out an almost inaudible "um", put his forehead against Li Shuo’s chest and closed his eyes.
He couldn't let go, and he couldn't forget. When he and Li Shuo were close, he couldn’t control the images of Shao Qun appearing in his mind.
Shao Qun's amorous look, impatient and passionate kisses, husky voice, perspiring chest. But all these memories that made him blush were finally crushed mercilessly by the night that broke his heart and caused him so much pain and repeated humiliation.
Li Chengxiu felt as if a huge stone was pressing against his chest. Not only did it make him breathless, but it also frightened him so much that he wanted to cry.
Why couldn’t he make himself forget? Why couldn’t he even control his thoughts?
Shao Qun was sitting on a white hospital bed, staring out the window in a daze.
In fact, there was nothing to see outside, just traffic jams that basically turned the bridge into a parking lot during peak times.
There was a familiar knock on the door, and Shao Qun knew who it was as soon as he heard the sound.
Sure enough, after knocking a few times and getting no response, the person from the outside still came in, as if used to this situation,"Mr. Shao."
Shao Qun turned around to look at assistant Zhou: "What?"
"Mr. Shao, you've been in the hospital for several days. Why are you still not discharged?"
Shao Qun replied indifferently, "I'm too lazy to move."
Assistant Zhou was helpless: "Mr. Shao, the company has dozens of mouths to feed. You have to go back and take care of it at some point."
"Isn't my eldest sister there? Why are you still worried about not being able to eat?"
"She's too busy. She is constantly torn between Beijing and Shenzhen now, and she can’t take care of everything at the same time! And there are many things that still need to be dealt with!"
Shao Qun didn't seem to be listening at all. Instead he asked, "Anything to report about that thing that I asked you to do?"
Assistant Zhou sighed: "It's going very well. As long as Li Shuo goes abroad at the right time, we can accuse him of fleeing the country, and then things will go more smoothly on our end. There’s something I need you to confirm, though."
Only at that moment did Shao Qun regain some energy and finally lifted his head: "What is it?"
Assistant Zhou handed him the file in his hand and said, "This is what I found out when I investigated Li Shuo's background. Li Shuo's father has been the CFO of an energy company in the United States for more than ten years, and he has a personal relationship with the company's controlling shareholder. They are so close, in fact, that even after his retirement the shareholder hired him back as his family’s financial advisor. The name of the shareholder is…”
Shao Qun had already turned to the relevant page, and, as soon as he saw the name on it, he slowly lowered his eyes.
This confirmed to assistant Zhou that his guess was indeed correct. His eyes gleamed, and he continued: "His father’s health is not doing great lately, and he is planning to resign. His client would want to find someone he can trust to replace him, right? Wouldn’t it be reasonable for his son to look into the opportunity?"
Shao Qun gradually revealed a sinister smile: "Not only do I want to make him unable to return to this country ever again but I also want Li Chengxiu to give up on him completely.”
Assistant Zhou took out a dry-cleaned suit from the cabinet and handed it to Shao Qun: "Mr. Shao, this should give you some motivation to work. Your car is waiting outside."
Shao Qun quickly rolled out of bed and put on his neat suit, getting rid of his disheveled and gloomy appearance. Looking entirely refreshed, he said to the assistant as he was walking out: "Find that Jinxin kid for me! If you can't get through to him, then contact my aunt."
“that Jinxin kid”
(taken from the 188男团 weibo (cutout from the group pic))
This guy plays a big part in “Winner Takes All”. His worst quality is being related to Shao Qun :D
Chapter 54
Li Chengxiu and Li Shuo enjoyed a quiet and peaceful life for nearly half a month.
Li Chengxiu felt that their life was very similar to that of an ordinary couple.
Usually, when they left together in the morning, Li Shuo would first take a long detour just to bring Li Chengxiu to work and only then would go to his own company. During their lunch break they would have an obligatory 10-minute phone call. In the evening, Li Chengxiu would always try his best to return as early as possible, so Li Shuo could have dinner immediately after he came back from work. Li Shuo was much busier than Li Chengxiu, but no matter how late it was or how tired he was, he always wanted to help out if he saw Li Chengxiu busy in the kitchen.
At night they watched movies and listened to music, while leaning onto each other. Such life was very leisurely.
Li Chengxiu couldn't tell whether his feelings towards Li Shuo were romantic or not. He only knew that he was very happy and very grateful to be together with him.
One day, Li Shuo told Li Chengxiu that he was going back home.
Li Chengxiu was stunned for a moment, remembering that Li Shuo’s parents actually lived in the US.
Li Shuo left in a bit of a hurry. Regretfully he said: "It's a pity, I was called back by my father on short notice this time. If I had known I was going back in the near future, I would have gotten you a visa, but now it's really too late."
Li Chengxiu smiled shyly, not knowing how to answer.
Li Shuo continued, "I mentioned you to my parents. They really want to meet you."
Li Chengxiu looked at him in surprise: "Your parents..."
Li Shuo said with a smile: "They’re very open-minded people. Don't worry, my sexuality hasn’t been a secret for a long time."
Li Chengxiu felt a bit envious.
Li Shuo had a family, and his family was also reasonable. He was truly lucky.
While packing his luggage, Li Shuo noted: "But it's fine. Next time I can take a longer vacation and apply for a visa for you. Then we both can go to the US and enjoy ourselves there. This time, I’m only going for a couple days."
Li Chengxiu nodded: "Take care of yourself."
Li Shuo showed a gentle smile: "I'm used to having you around these days. I'm going to miss you. Will you miss me?"
Li Chengxiu gave him a shy smile and nodded honestly.
Li Shuo smiled sincerely, his eyes slightly curving. He then approached Li Chengxiu, kissed and hugged him, promising that he was going to bring some fun trinkets from his trip.
The two of them thought that this trip was similar to an ordinary business trip. They had no idea that they wouldn't be able to see each other again for a long long time.
Before leaving, Li Shuo made sure to install Global Connect service on Li Chengxiu's mobile phone. He also deposited a couple thousands of RMB on his mobile account, saying that he could send text messages and call Li Shuo directly, as if he was in China.
What Li Shuo didn't tell him was that the phone bill would end up being several times more expensive. Li Chengxiu didn’t even question it and only said that it seemed to be really convenient. He always thought that in order to make a call to a foreign country, one needed to add a lot of numbers and jump through a lot of hoops.
On the morning when Li Shuo left, Li Chengxiu cooked his favorite crab porridge for him.
Li Shuo went directly to the airport, and he couldn’t take Li Chengxiu to work that day. So he asked him to take care of himself.
Li Chengxiu nodded and told Li Shuo to be careful on the road.
Li Shuo cupped the back of Li Chengxiu’s head and tenderly kissed him. Li Chengxiu didn't know what to do, and he felt a little uncomfortable in his heart.
Li Shuo was going to return in just a couple days… So why did it feel like they were parting forever?
He suppressed the strange premonition, smiled and sent Li Shuo out the door.
While Li Shuo was still waiting on his plane, Li Chengxiu was already sitting in the office, and they kept exchanging messages.
When Li Shuo finally got on the plane, Li Chengxiu felt empty.
He had never been on a plane. To be honest, Li Chengxiu always felt that such a big thing flying in the sky was a bit suspicious. He also thought that Li Shuo would have to sit for such a long time.
Li Chengxiu was very worried and was counting hours till Li Shuo’s landing. He hoped that Li Shuo would report to him that he was safe as soon as he arrived.
In the evening, Li Shuo gave him a call. There was a lot of noise coming from his side. He said that he had just gotten off the plane and was entering customs control.
Li Chengxiu, who had been on edge the entire day, finally breathed out.
Li Shuo's voice sounded quite relaxed, but the fatigue of the journey could not be concealed, so Li Chengxiu told him to get some rest when he got home.
The two hung up after chatting for a while.
When Li Chengxiu had already tidied up at home and was lying in bed, Li Shuo sent him another text message with a photo. In the photo, he was pointing his finger at his stubble and helplessly smiling.
Li Chengxiu couldn't help but snicker. He texted back: "Why did you forget to shave yesterday?"
Li Shuo replied: “I just wanted to go to bed earlier before the flight. And then I wasn’t in the mood to shave on the plane. My mother will laugh at me when she sees me like this."
Even though it was a meaningless exchange, it made Li Chengxiu feel very calm and relaxed.
His phone beeped again, and Li Chengxiu opened the new text message without any hesitation. It was an already familiar sentence: "Chengxiu, I miss you very much."
Li Chengxiu felt that was a little strange. They were just talking about something else. Why would Li Shuo suddenly send him this kind of line?
Li Chengxiu tensed up.
He usually made a point of ignoring anything coming from unfamiliar numbers. But just now, because he had been texting with Li Shuo, he lost his vigilance.
He knew that most likely the owner of this number was Shao Qun.
Now, Li Chengxiu was no longer in the mood to chat with Li Shuo. He hurriedly said that he needed to go to sleep early because of work tomorrow. Li Shuo said that he would contact him when he had settled down.
Li Chengxiu turned his phone off in a hurry and put it away in the furthest drawer, as if on the other side of that phone there was some horrible cannibal waiting for him.
With Li Shuo’s departure, his loneliness and his fear had returned.
The first two days were fine. Li Shuo would text him and call him, telling him one or two funny stories about his parents when he had some free time.
But on the third day, there was no news from Li Shuo all day long.
Li Chengxiu thought that was a little strange, so he sent Li Shuo a message. But even after several hours had passed, Li Shuo still didn’t reply.
Li Chengxiu calculated the time difference and felt that it was inappropriate to call around this time. He planned to call again tomorrow. Maybe Li Shuo was just busy.
He made two calls the next day. Li Shuo still didn't answer.
When Li Shuo hadn’t contacted him for an entire three days, Li Chengxiu finally realized that something was wrong.
He got really anxious and called him several times in a row. Finally, Li Chengxiu even contacted Li Shuo’s assistant.
The assistant knew about their relationship. When Li Chengxiu interned in Li Shuo’s office, they had even met. For some reason, he was very secretive on the phone and refused to say anything, only telling Li Chengxiu that Li Shuo was busy and he would contact him soon.
Li Shuo had always been very considerate. No matter how busy he was, he would never let Li Chengxiu worry about him for so many days without a good reason. Unless something serious happened, he wouldn’t leave his messages without an answer.
Li Chengxiu's uneasiness gradually became worse, and his thoughts were in disarray.
Two days later, Li Shuo finally called. Li Chengxiu's hands shook with excitement when he saw the caller ID.
"Hello..." A very tired voice came from the other end of the phone.
Li Chengxiu's heart sank. It was clear that something had happened. He had never heard Li Shuo so tired and frustrated. Li Shuo was always confident and steady. Even when he was tired, he was never dejected or foul-mooded.
"Li-Dage, what's wrong?"
Li Shuo sighed softly: "Chengxiu, I'm sorry, I've been really... There’s been an accident here, and I can't go back to China for the time being."
Li Chengxiu froze: "Your parents…?"
Li Shuo said softly: "My parents are fine. Something went wrong with my business in China."
Li Chengxiu asked, "Is it serious?"
Li Shuo sighed: "This matter is very complicated. I was framed. Now, as soon as I set foot on Chinese territory, I will be arrested immediately. Everything happened very quickly while I was abroad. For a moment, I am not able to sort this convoluted issue. So, I can’t take the risk and return to China. Can you understand?"
Li Chengxiu trembled uncontrollably.
If this issue could make a person like Li Shuo so miserable, it must be really serious.
"Li-Dage..." Li Chengxiu wanted to comfort him, but didn't know what to say.
"I didn't want to make you worry, so I wasn’t planning to tell you that. But I can’t really hide it from you, taking your safety in consideration."
Li Chengxiu was shocked: "What… what do you mean?"
"I’m 90% sure that this was Shao Qun’s doing."
Li Chengxiu's body seemed to freeze up. It felt like he had fallen into a basin of ice water, and the coldness immediately swallowed up his limbs and his bones.
Li Shuo continued: "Many years have passed since this thing that I’m responsible for has taken place. It also doesn’t involve the interests of any third parties. What I mean is that the only possible beneficiary of this case is the legal representative of the original company or its creditor - a state-owned bank. Whoever is trying to frame me, is not going to benefit from this no matter what the final result is. The legal representative of the company disappeared long ago. And the state-owned bank is unlikely to do such a useless thing. Since no business interests are involved, I can only suspect that it’s about a personal grievance.”
Li Shuo paused and then continued:”After considering such factors like motive, time, tactics, and the influence at the level of government departments, I can only think of Shao Qun at the moment.”
Li Chengxiu was so anxious that he wanted to cry: "Li-Dage, is it really him?"
Li Shuo pondered: "90% sure. This matter is too complicated to explain but the amount of files in this bankruptcy case alone is akin to a mountain. I’m afraid it will take at least a year and a half in order to dig up evidence that can clear me."
"Then you can't come back anymore?"
"I'm afraid, at least not in the short term. I can't risk arrest after my return. If I stay in the United States, the worst case scenario is that I will never be able to enter China again, but if I go back ... the worst case is criminal detention."
Li Chengxiu felt extremely uneasy.
If this is really Shao Qun's work, then it's Li Chengxiu who dragged Li Shuo into it. Even if Shao Qun did not do it, it was still a fact that Li Shuo was in big trouble. If he couldn’t come back for a year and a half, everything he had worked so hard to build in Shenzhen would be wasted.
Li Shuo continued: "I'm very worried about you now. If this was indeed Shao Qun’s ploy, then, I’m afraid, his next step is to come after you. My place... I'm afraid you can't live there anymore. I have contacted my assistant. He will find you a house, so you don’t have to worry about that for a time being.”
Li Chengxiu's heart was full of sadness. He suddenly got tired of constantly hiding. Time and time again, he did everything to avoid Shao Qun. But how long was he supposed to be on the run? Not only did Shao Qun ruin his life, he also dragged Li Shuo into it. How could Li Chengxiu afford to pay for such a big crime?
Li Chengxiu said miserably: "Li-Dage, I'm sorry..."
Li Shuo was silent for a while, and then he softly said: "Chengxiu, I don't want your apology. The truth of this matter is still uncertain. Even if it really is Shao Qun's doing, it is not your fault. I have been thinking about it a lot for the past two days.In fact, when I came back this time, my father wanted to retire due to health reasons. His client hoped that I could take over his work. I was not interested at all. I always wanted to build my own career. But now that I have this chance, I think it might actually be fate. Maybe I should stay in the US for a while and take over my father’s work. I have something to ask you, and I want to hear your answer.”
Li Chengxiu said witlessly, "What is it?"
"Would you like to come to America?"
Li Chengxiu was stunned.
"I know you need to think about it first. This is a very important decision. You would basically need to leave your past life and your familiar environment behind. This would be a challenge for anybody. But if there’s a will, there’s a way. A way to get used to the language and to the new environment, a way to find new friends and also work. It’s all possible. And I will be here for you, if you want to come. Everyone will welcome you, and my parents would really like to meet you. So if you want…”
After the phone call, Li Chengxiu couldn't calm down for a long time.
He felt that his life had been turned upside down again.
Li Shuo promised to give him time to think about it, but he also asked him to hand over the required documents to his assistant for the visa application.
Li Shuo’s exact words were: "You can think about it during the visa application period. You can change your mind even right before boarding the plane. But I really hope to hug you here in the United States in two months."
Li Chengxiu understood very well that if he didn't go, he would completely let Li Shuo down, and their relationship would basically be over.
But, to be honest, it was just a little too much to ask from a nearly 30-year old man go to an unfamiliar country, pick up the language that he hadn’t touched in more than ten years and start a new life
If he had been in his teens or even in his early twenties, it would have seemed like an exciting challenge. But at his age, it was more like an ordeal.
Li Chengxiu didn’t have a good education, nor did he have good language skills. Would he have to rely on Li Shuo for everything when he came to the US? What would that make him?
Even if he also had no relatives or friends in China, at least he was familiar with everything here and he could always find a job to make ends meet. So he didn’t have to live in a state of perpetual anxiety.
In Li Chengxiu's heart, he really didn't want to go.
He was not a brave man, so he never dared to change things without somebody’s permission. He was such a useless person, that even after ten years in this city, he still hadn’t established a foothold here.How can he even think about going to a foreign country?
But Li Shuo...
It was a dilemma.
Li Chengxiu was not too surprised when Shao Qun blocked his way when he came back home from work.
Strangely, he was neither panicking, nor particularly terrified. He just knew that it was an inevitability.
When a heart is repeatedly broken, it freezes over and loses its ability to move.
Shao Qun's face didn't look very good. He was obviously sleep-deprived. But as soon as he saw Li Chengxiu, he seemed immediately refreshed.
Shao Qun’s eyes were full of emotions, as he looked at Li Chengxiu. Just as he was about to open his mouth, Li Chengxiu interrupted him, his tone cold and distant.
"Is what happened to Li-Dage… your doing?”
Chapter 55
As soon as Shao Qun heard Li Shuo’s name, he looked like he had stepped into dog shit.
He frowned with some uneasiness, neither saying yes nor no, and just looked at Li Chengxiu.
Seeing his expression, Li Chengxiu knew what’s up, and his body trembled with anger.
"How…how could you..."
Originally, Shao Qun wanted to pretend that he had nothing to do with anything but as soon as he realized that Li Chengxiu had easily seen right through him, his horrible nature was revealed. He craned his neck and disdainfully said: "I didn't castrate him, so he got off lightly.”
Li Chengxiu was so angry that his eyes darkened. He spat out through his teeth:"Go away."
Shao Qun was stunned for a moment, and his face showed a bit of desolation. He lowered his head and crushed a cigarette butt on the ground with his foot. In a muffled voice he said, "He's not coming back anytime soon, so you guys should break it off before it's too late."
Li Chengxiu held his briefcase tightly to his chest. He took a step back and said in a trembling voice, "It has nothing to do with you!" As soon as he said that, he was about to pass Shao Qun to enter the building.
Shao Qun blocked his path, staring straight at him. He felt that Li Chengxiu had lost some weight yet again, and his face looked tired. Shao Qun couldn’t help reaching out to touch it.
Li Chengxiu quickly took a step back.
Shao Qun's hand awkwardly stopped in the air, and he finally just dropped it in dismay.
He continued blocking Li Chengxiu, as he gritted through his teeth,"Tell me, what's so good about Li Shuo? I can do anything he can do."
Li Chengxiu shook his head coldly: "Go away."
Shao Qun propped his hand on one side of the wall and looked at Li Chengxiu with some urgency: "Just tell me what it is, and I will do it! What exactly is he capable of? I don’t believe it’s so special. I can treat you better than him, really! Chengxiu, now that he’s gone, let’s start all over again, okay?"
Li Chengxiu felt a burst of sadness in his heart.
The person in front of him didn’t even realize that he was hurting others left and right. All he cared about was achieving his goals, which he stubbornly did step by step. He only thought of himself, and nobody else even registered on his radar.
Shao Qun lived according to his own rules, disregarding whether others liked it or not. What did he care about hurting or stabbing somebody on his merry way?
Shao Qun pulled Li Chengxiu's arm and kept asking unrelentingly how exactly was Li Shuo better than him.
Li Chengxiu shook his hand away and said coldly, "He respects me and won't lie to me. You don't even deserve to be compared to him."
When Shao Qun heard this, his eyes suddenly turned red. He still couldn’t get used to Li Chengxiu, who was so gentle in his memory, saying harsh words to him and stabbing his heart with a knife over and over again.
In a hoarse voice he said: "I will also…I will also respect you. And I will not lie to you again. In the future, whatever you say goes. I will be damned, if I ever act like a jerk again."
It was difficult for Shao Qun to make these lowly promises. He was a man whose ego was higher than the skies, and now he had been trapped by somebody like Li Chengxiu. It was as ridiculous as a tiger paying tribute to a rabbit. Even children would laugh at him, and Shao Qun was really embarrassed. But he knew very well that even though he could knock Li Chengxiu down with just one slap, Li Chengxiu could kill him with just one sentence. So what could he do?
These few words were difficult for Shao Qun to say, but in Li Chengxiu's ears, they were too meaningless to even be mentioned.
He remembered how many nice things Shao Qun said to him when they had just met.
It was all “darling this” and “darling that” and “I like you so much”.
In the end, all of it turned out to be fake. And Li Chengxiu had foolishly taken it to heart.
People like him can't afford to repeat their mistakes. Li Chengxiu had too little, and the price of making mistakes was too high.
When Shao Qun saw his expression, he knew that Li Chengxiu didn't believe him at all.
He trapped Li Chengxiu in the corner of the building. Like a stubborn teenager, he didn’t want to let go. He needed to know why the person who rejected him didn’t like him and how he could make him like him again.
Li Chengxiu turned his face away, unwilling to look at Shao Qun, and whispered, "If you respect me, let me go home now."
Shao Qun whispered, "Is this your home? Huh? So this is your home!" Shao Qun was reminded how Li Chengxiu had silently rejected everything at his house. And now he was actually calling Li Shuo’s place “home”!
Imagining that Li Chengxiu and Li Shuo lived their daily lives here was as painful as having his heart gouged out. And now, Li Chengxiu wanted to go back to his and Li Shuo’s “home” right in front of him!
Li Chengxiu stared at him alertly, clutching his briefcase to his chest, holding it in front of him like a shield.
Shao Qun felt that he could not exert any strength. He propped himself up with one hand on one side of Li Chengxiu, and his other hand was very close to his face. But he didn’t dare touch him.
He was afraid to see Li Chengxiu's evasive expression if he tried to touch him.
Time passed by quietly, and the two of them didn't speak or move for a while.
Shao Qun looked at Li Chengxiu's soft hair, and there was a sudden rush of viciousness in his heart.
He wanted to love him. He wanted to hold him in his arms. And as long as Li Chengxiu came back to him, he was willing to pull out his heart for him. He was willing to swallow his pride and forget all about Li Shuo.
But Li Chengxiu's repeated indifference and alienation were driving him crazy.
He was not somebody who could control his temper. He didn't want to scare Li Chengxiu, but he felt that the aggression in his body was about to burst out after being provoked by Li Chengxiu over and over again.
He felt a lot of pain in his heart, knowing that what he was about to say would only push Li Chengxiu farther away, but Shao Qun just couldn't help saying it.
"Do you want that phony foreign devil to not be able to return to China for the rest of his life?"
Li Chengxiu was shocked and looked up at Shao Qun in astonishment.
The muscles on Shao Qun's face were strained, and there was a flash of ruthlessness in his eyes: "Break up with him. If you break up with him, I won’t go after him again."
Li Chengxiu's eyes slowly turned red, and he said in a trembling voice, "Shao Qun, you are a monster."
Shao Qun felt that there was a big hole in his heart, and the pain made him want to cry. He tried to endure it as much as he could: "Yes, I'm a fucking monster. And you are all such fucking good people. So it’s up to you to decide what is more important - your itsy-bitsy feelings or Li Shuo’s more than ten years of entrepreneurial efforts in China."
Li Chengxiu's eyes gradually became wet. He looked at Shao Qun, his vision blurred. The more he looked, the more blurred this person became and the more Li Chengxiu couldn’t even recognize him anymore.
How far will this man push him before he finally stops?
Li Chengxiu was tired of a life of uncertainty and fear. Shao Qun forced him into the corner again and again, and now he even used Li Shuo to threaten him.
"Shao Qun, I don't owe you anything... why can’t you..."
Why can't you just let me go?
Shao Qun glared at him: "Yes, you don't owe me anything. But I owe you. So give me a chance, and I will compensate you, okay?"
Li Chengxiu lowered his head, sniffed, and said nothing.
Shao Qun said softly: "Chengxiu, I didn't want to force you, really. But… but I can't stand you being with him. I've never cared so much about anybody else in my life. All that I said is true. If you split up with him, I can provide you with everything that he can. Chengxiu, give me another chance, and I will give you the sun and the stars. Just give me another chance."
Li Chengxiu bowed his head and still kept quiet.
He thought about his phone call with Li Shuo - he could clearly feel how distressed Li Shuo was.
His frustration and loss were so obvious, yet he still comforted Li Chengxiu.
Li Shuo was his benefactor. Could he watch his hard-earned career be destroyed by Shao Qun?
Li Chengxiu felt a shattering pain in his heart. He felt as if he had been drained from all his strength in one heartbeat. Hoarsely he said, "I will…break up with him."
Shao Qun was stunned for a while. Then with a look of joy on his face he said: "Really? Chengxiu, you..."
Li Chengxiu slowly pushed Shao Qun away and whispered, "We will break up... So don't make his life difficult anymore."
At that moment, Shao Qun could hear that Li Chengxiu's tone and expression were not quite right. However, he was too focused on being happy that Li Chengxiu was finally going to part with that Li bastard.
Shao Qun couldn't help laughing: "I…Don't worry, as long as you break up with him, I will not give him any trouble."
Li Chengxiu looked at him indifferently: "You’re not lying, right?"
Shao Qun looked earnest and sincere: "I won't lie to you ever again."
Li Chengxiu nodded, turned around and walked upstairs.
Shao Qun hurriedly grabbed him: "Chengxiu..."
Li Chengxiu pulled his arm back: "Didn't you say that you will respect me? Let go."
Shao Qun choked and was speechless for a while. He dejectedly lowered his hand, but still asked, "Then when will you move out of here?"
Li Chengxiu's eyes were empty: "Soon."
Shao Qun said happily: "Just give me a call when you want to move, and I'll prepare a place for you... Oh, don’t worry, you don’t have to stay with me. Everything will be according to your wishes. But you just have to let me take care of you, okay?"
Li Chengxiu didn’t comment on that and proceeded to go upstairs.
Shao Qun looked at his thin back almost obsessively, his heart beating like a drum.
Thinking that Li Chengxiu might very soon return to him, he was so excited that his fingertips slightly trembled.
As soon as Li Chengxiu came through the door, he sat down on the sofa and took out a thick book from his briefcase.
It was a second-hand book, which he had bought for three RMB at the bookstand on his way home from work.
Although it was used, it looked like new. The original owner might not have used it at all. The hardcover was very colorful, and there were words "Spoken English Crash Course" printed in gold on it.
Li Chengxiu looked at the cover and couldn't help crying.
He didn't know what to do with the book. He knew that he didn't actually have the courage to cross the ocean and leave his country. But when he saw this book at the old book stand, he thought for a moment that, maybe, just maybe, English wasn’t that difficult. And maybe America wasn’t difficult either.
Except it was.
Was there any guarantee that he and Li Shuo could last for a long time? What was he supposed to do in a completely unfamiliar place, once he lost his only support?
Where would Li Chengxiu find the courage to banish himself to the edge of a cliff yet again?
He couldn’t leave the foundations of life in somebody else’s hands again. Once that person walked away, he would inevitably fall to pieces. This was the lesson that Shao Qun had taught him.
Li Chengxiu, who was usually very unwilling to throw anything out, put the book directly into the trash. He had made up his mind.
He picked up Teacup, kissed it on the tip of its nose and said, "I'm sorry, we’re moving again."
The little Teacup pushed Li Chengxiu’s face away with his paw and whimpered.
Li Chengxiu was sick of moving. Even Teacup was barking unhappily when it saw him pack his things, as if the pup knew what was going on.
Li Chengxiu kept asking Teacup to be quiet but there was nothing he could do about the dog.
After packing up as fast as he could, Li Chengxiu sat behind the coffee table and wrote his resignation letter.
Li Chengxiu had always been a very efficient person, and he never procrastinated when he encountered problems. He quit his job the next day.
His boss didn’t say anything about Li Chengxiu’s hasty resignation out of respect for Li Shuo.
When he came back from work, Li Chengxiu called Adrian and told him that he was going home and that there was no need to be worried if Li Chengxiu didn’t contact him for a while.
Adrian was aware of what happened to Li Shuo, but he didn't know that Li Chengxiu had no home to go back to. He thought Li Chengxiu was planning to visit his hometown before leaving the country and was happy for him: "I'll come to America to have fun with you guys!”
Li Chengxiu was stunned, knowing that Adrian had misunderstood, but instead of explaining, he just bitterly hummed.
After the call, he sent a long text message to Li Shuo.
"Li-Dage, I'm sorry. I can't go to the United States with you. I'm almost 30 now, and I don't have the courage to start my life over in a foreign country. Thank you for taking care of me for so long. I can't repay you, so I can only sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart. You treated me really well. I will always remember that. I caused you a lot of trouble, and I hope you can forgive me for that. I’m planning to leave Shenzhen. After I leave, Shao Qun won’t bother you or me anymore. It’s for the best. I've let down your kindness, and I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. Please don't worry about me. I have a relative who is doing business in another city. I’m planning to go to him. Li-Dage, I'm sorry that I can’t say goodbye to you face to face. I hope all the best for you, and I hope you can forgive me."
Li Chengxiu pressed “send” with his uncontrollably trembling fingers, as tears ran down his face.
If only he had met Li Shuo first… things would have been so different.
After the message was delivered, Li Chengxiu took out the SIM card.
Early next morning, he headed to the long-distance bus station with Teacup and his few suitcases.
Chapter 56
In fact, Li Chengxiu wasn’t going very far.
He had no relatives, and no actual destination to go to.
He was afraid Teacup would get tired after a long time on the bus, so he decided to stop at Guangzhou first.
He found a small hotel to live in. The next day, he planned to go out to look for a house. After he found a place to live, he could start looking for a job.
Li Chengxiu wasn’t quite sure if he was going to look for a job as an accountant or go back to cooking.
He now had a brief experience as an accountant but it was much less than his experience as a chef. Considering the monetary issues, it might be a better idea to find a job at a restaurant.
Li Chengxiu pondered for a long time and decided to write two resumes. He could then try to apply for both positions and see which one worked out in the end.
Teacup slept in the bus for more than two hours and wasn’t very energetic. The puppy was lying on the hotel bed now with half-drooping eyelids, looking weak. Li Chengxiu brought some water to its mouth.
Li Chengxiu thought the dog was just tired, so he rubbed its neck and massaged it for a while and then put it down in its nest to sleep..
The hotel wasn’t very clean. One of the windows was broken, and it couldn’t be closed properly, so there was a four-finger gap there which let the wind in. Although it was warm outside recently, the nights were still a bit chilly.
Li Chengxiu tightly pulled the curtains together and lay on the bed, staring at the yellow ceiling with his eyes open.
He had to do everything over again.
Housing, work - he had to find new options and get used to them yet again. In the past ten years of his life he really had gained nothing.
Li Chengxiu couldn't figure out how his life could be so difficult.
This hopeless feeling made him suffocate. As if in a trance, Li Chengxiu couldn’t help thinking why did he even live at all. It was so tiring and uncomfortable, and there was really nothing good about it. What was the reason for living?
Right when Li Chengxiu was busy looking for an apartment in Guangzhou, Shao Qun was going crazy.
He had waited for Li Chengxiu's phone call for several days, staring at his phone so intently that he almost burned a hole in it. But he waited for fucking nothing.
He gradually felt that something was not quite right. Shao Qun didn't have much hope anymore that Li Chengxiu would call him, but since he agreed to move out of Li Shuo’s house, he should have at least sent him a message.
He didn't dare to go to him so soon again, afraid of another rejection.
But after waiting for several days, Shao Qun finally couldn't wait any longer, so he drove to Li Shuo’s house.
He rang the doorbell for a long time, but there was no response at all.
Shao Qun suddenly slapped himself on the forehead. Of course! Li Chengxiu must still be working at the company at this time.
Shao Qun thought about it for a while, but he didn't want to wait around this fucking place where Li Chengxiu and Li Shuo lived together. So he drove to Li Chengxiu’s company.
When he got there, he found out that Li Chengxiu had resigned a few days ago.
Shao Qun's head was buzzing, and a chill covered his body from the soles of his feet to his forehead. A very bad premonition immediately appeared in his heart.
He returned to his car as if he was running for his life, and he almost flew back to where Li Chengxiu lived.
He pressed the doorbell non-stop for five or six minutes, but there was no response at all. In the end, he just knocked on the door with his fist and shouted, "Li Chengxiu! Li Chengxiu!"
The security system in this community was very good. Shao Qun's loud actions finally aroused the suspicion of the security department on the other side of the monitor, and two people came out quickly to see what was going on.
The two tiny security guards were typical southerners. Seeing that Shao Qun was tall and big, they didn’t seem too comfortable. They asked him politely what he was doing bothering the residents.
Shao Qun sighed heavily, his face ugly: "I'm looking for my friend."
One of the security guards looked at the house number, tilted his head and thought for a while. He then took out his walkie-talkie to talk to the security department: "Didn’t the 1818 resident move out a few days ago? Who was on duty that day?"
After a while, a reply came: "He moved out and left before dawn on the 12th. Xiao Wu was on duty that day, and he helped him with the luggage."
Shao Qun's face turned pale, and he asked reluctantly, "Where did he go?"
The security guard snorted: "Mister, how would we know?"
Shao Qun went downstairs, swaying from side to side as his legs were shaking.
When he got into the car, he called Xiao Zhou and asked him to find Li Chengxiu.
His mind was in a mess, and his speech was a little awkward. The fear that Li Chengxiu might disappear was like a relentless pressure on top of his head. He felt cold all over his body, and his chest was so tight that he couldn't breathe.
After thinking about it for a long time, he remembered that there was someone who might have a clue as to Li Chengxiu’s location. Shao Qun flipped through his contacts and finally found Adrian's phone number.
Adrian had long deleted Shao Qun from his contacts, so he answered the phone completely unprepared.
Shao Qun didn't make any small talk and just said in a low voice, "Adrian, where did Li Chengxiu go?"
Adrian was stunned for a moment: "Shao Qun?"
Shao Qun repeated impatiently, "Where did he go?"
Only then did Adrian finally react. He sneered: "Chengxiu and Li Shuo are together in the US."
Shao Qun's mind was blank, and he suddenly felt a sharp pain in his heart. It took a long time for him to recover, and he said in a trembling voice: "No, it's impossible. He said he..." Shao Qun remembered the scene from that day. Li Chengxiu had only said that he was moving out. How could Shao Qun have known that Li Shuo would really throw away his whole career in China and trick Li Chengxiu into coming to America!?
Adrian laughed coldly: "Shao Qun, do yourself a favor and don’t bother them anymore. They are going to get married in the US. If you still have some feelings for Li Chengxiu, why don’t you just wish him happiness?"
"Bullshit!"
Shao Qun suddenly yelled, startling Adrian.
Shao Qun hung up the phone, flipped through his phone book with trembling fingers and immediately dialed a friend of his: "Help me check the departure list for the United States in the last few days. Is there anyone named Li Chengxiu…?"
After going crazy for an entire afternoon, Shao Qun found out that Li Chengxiu had, indeed, not left the country. Not a single airline had any information about him at all - he had never even been on a plane.
Shao Qun was in a complicated mood. On the one hand, he was relieved. At least Li Chengxiu didn't go to the United States to reunite with Li Shuo, but on the other hand, Li Chengxiu had just disappeared into thin air. China was so big, and it was practically impossible to find someone who had no relatives or friends and left no trace.
Shao Qun now regretted his actions that day. He shouldn’t have forced Li Chengxiu. But how could he have known that he would force him into running away? Where was he going to look for him now?
Shao Qun sat motionless in his car until it got dark. In this narrow and dim space, he was completely alone with his solitude and regret.
He has never been so helpless before. He hadn’t been so frightened even when billions of funds that he had invested seemed to have disappeared. The fear of losing Li Chengxiu was about to ruin him.
Suddenly his phone rang, and Shao Qun abruptly picked it up with some expectation in his heart.
It was a string of unfamiliar numbers - a call from abroad.
If he remembered correctly, the area code was that of the US.
Shao Qun picked it up, and the other side was silent for a few seconds. Then Shao Qun heard: "It’s Li Shuo."
Shao Qun took a deep breath and calmed himself down. Even if Li Shuo hadn’t contacted him, he would have contacted Li Shuo. So this call came just at the right time. He solemnly asked, "Where is Li Chengxiu?"
Li Shuo paused, and his tone suddenly intensified, showing boundless anger: "How dare you ask me that? I should be the one asking!"
Shao Qun's last glimmer of hope was shattered, and he slumped in the car seat like a deflated balloon: "He's gone..."
Li Shuo said angrily, "Shao Qun, you bastard! You forced Chengxiu to run around without a moment of peace, unable to find a safe place to live! Are you happy now? He's gone. He's completely gone!"
Shao Qun's heart was in so much pain that he couldn't speak. His eyes felt hot, and his vision blurred instantly.
He covered his eyes with his hands and said in a hoarse voice, "Where could he go…?"
"How would I know? He said he went to a relative. But I never heard him mention any relatives before."
Shao Qun choked and said, "He has no relatives..." When he helped Li Chengxiu repay his debts, Xiao Zhou had told him about Li Chengxiu's situation in his hometown where he had basically no one to turn to. After they got their money, they simply stopped contacting him anymore. Shao Qun couldn’t imagine where Li Chengxiu could go. China was so big that he could go anywhere. Even if he stayed somewhere in Shenzhen, it was easier said than done to find a person who had no fixed place to live, no permanent job and no friends.
Li Shuo said fiercely: "Shao Qun, Chengxiu doesn't have much money on him. His health is very poor, and he has no relatives. If something happens to him, I won’t spare you."
Shao Qun didn't speak. If something happened to Li Chengxiu, he wouldn’t spare himself.
Li Shuo seemed to feel that it was a waste of time and effort to even say another word to Shao Qun, so he just spat with disgust: "Stop messing with my affairs and let me return to China immediately. Maybe then I can look for some clues.”
Shao Qun didn't say anything and just hung up the phone.
He buried his face in the steering wheel, his hands clenched into fists, and his shoulders were slightly shaking.
Li Chengxiu managed to find an apartment very quickly. After all, he had a lot of experience in that area - he had looked for a new apartment no less than 20 or 30 times already.
This time, Li Chengxiu was lucky. The previous resident of this small apartment was a student. He suddenly received his visa and wanted to go abroad. However, his housing contract was still running and if he breached it, he wouldn’t get his deposit back. So he sub-rented it very cheaply to Li Chengxiu.
Although the house was a bit old, it was at least clean. Most importantly, the transportation was convenient. Just in one afternoon, Li Chengxiu managed to move all his luggage over.
After a while, he was finally done cleaning up the house.
Because he was so busy for a long time, he didn’t pay much attention to Teacup. When he fed the dog at night, he found that the pup was still listless and didn't eat much.
Li Chengxiu had never had a pet before, so he thought that the dog was just tired and needed to adapt to the new environment. So he wasn’t too worried for a while.
After a night of rest, he started looking for a new job.
There were many positions that he applied for. He didn’t know if there was any hope, though. He could only wait now.
He left early and returned late every day. When he got home, he was so tired that he almost collapsed, and he fell asleep immediately after touching the pillow.
In the past two days, there was another issue that gave Li Chengxiu quite a headache.
Time and time again, he could hear a loud "bang bang bang" sound of a ball hitting the floor coming from the room nearby. The sound insulation here was not very good, and even though Li Chengxiu couldn’t hear so well with one of his ears, the sound was still clear enough to disturb his rest.
Li Chengxiu just moved here and didn't want to have any unpleasantness with the neighbors, so before doing anything he thought about it at first.
But after a few days, he couldn't take it anymore.
The general fatigue from running around all over the city these days, the abrupt changes in his life, the guilt towards Li Shuo, and the resentment towards Shao Qun were weighing heavily on his heart. The continuous "bang bang bang" noise was pushing him over the edge. It seemed that the ball was hitting him directly on his forehead. He didn't know why, but he suddenly wanted to scream and cry, and let out all the emotions that were stuck in his throat and that he couldn't swallow. It felt as if his body would explode if all this stuff didn’t find its way out.
When his brain was about to boil over, Li Chengxiu rushed out of the apartment and knocked on the neighboring door a few times.
The sound coming from the inside stopped, and after a while, he heard footsteps approaching the door step by step.
Li Chengxiu was suddenly a little nervous. What should he do if the other party turned out to be an unreasonable person?
The door opened, and Li Chengxiu saw a young man of a very tall stature. His upper body was naked, and one could see a strong chest and perfect eight-pack abs. His skin was of a rather attractive wheat color, and the man was in general quite attractive and handsome. He exuded the usual vitality of a very young person.
He frowned and glanced at Li Chengxiu, his tone was a little impatient: "What is it?"
Li Chengxiu noticed that a basketball was rolling at his feet. He realized that this was the source of the damn noise.
He swallowed and said cautiously, "This… Are you… here…. playing basketball at home?" This young man didn't look easy to deal with. He also seemed so strong, and he was at least half a head taller than Li Chengxiu. It was hard not to be nervous.
The young man glanced at the basketball at his feet: "What's wrong? This is the first floor."
Li Chengxiu said: "It’s….it's very noisy. I live right next door…And I can hear it clearly."
The young man made an "oh" sound and curled his lips: "But I don’t play at night. The sound insulation here is not good, so deal with it."
He obviously wasn’t afraid of Li Chengxiu's thin and weak posture.
Li Chengxiu was stunned for a moment. He opened his mouth and wanted to say something. Seeing that the young man furrowed his brow and that his temper didn’t seem to be very good, Li Chengxiu swallowed the words in his mouth.
The man glanced at him, and without saying another word, slammed the door shut in his face.
Li Chengxiu looked entirely flabbergasted.
Assistant Zhou every time Shao Qun calls him with yet another shitty task
Chapter 57
After such an experience, he didn't dare to knock on that door again.
Li Chengxiu wanted to avoid any trouble. It was clear that this person was very unreasonable, so just had to tolerate the current situation.
After he returned to his room, the sound of the basketball continued. Li Chengxiu was really annoyed and angry at himself that he couldn’t do anything about this.
During the day, he continued to go out to look for a job and do interviews. The job search as an accountant did not go very smoothly. Most companies were not willing to hire him because he stuttered.
Li Chengxiu came home as usual that day, and at a glance, he noticed that next to Teacup’s nest there was a small pool of milky white stains on the floor.
Li Chengxiu thought it was strange, and when he got closer, he realized that the puppy either vomited or had a weird bowel movement. No matter which, it was a serious matter.
Li Chengxiu hurriedly picked Teacup up and noticed that it was completely limp. He then immediately remembered that for several days in a row, when Li Chengxiu came through the door, the little pup wouldn’t run over to affectionately rub at his feet .
During this period of time, Li Chengxiu was very tired because of running around so much, so he didn’t pay so much attention to Teacup. Now it seemed that the pup was really sick. And any disease might easily kill such a little dog.
Li Chengxiu was so anxious that he almost started crying. He took out all the cash that he had at home, wrapped Teacup in a blanket and left the apartment. He asked around about the nearest vet clinic. By the time he got there, it was almost closing time. Li Chengxiu basically rushed in at the last minute.
The veterinarian was a chubby young man who looked very kind. Seeing Li Chengxiu's anxious look, he couldn’t bear to lock the door in front of him.
The vet looked at the puppy and said: "Oh, this breed is very troublesome! The teacup poodles are bred by always picking out the smallest puppy in the litter for future breeding. Thus, the offsprings get smaller and smaller over time. But think about it, the smallest pup is also usually the weakest or the sickest, or is incapable of fighting for its mother’s milk. Their resistance to disease is usually very weak, and their lifespan is not very long. It’s basically a sick little baby that can easily die."
Li Chengxiu was about to cry: "Doctor, will it be all right?"
The doctor was obviously not accustomed to a man looking so sad and frightened, so his heart softened, and he quickly comforted Li Chengxiu, "This puppy has worms. This kind of thing happens to pets from time to time. It is normal. Generally, as long as it takes the medicine, the prognosis is pretty good, depending on its resistance.”
Li Chengxiu sat down with a sad face, watching the doctor treat his little Teacup.
It was only the size of an adult man's palm, and now it had shrunk into a small ball. It looked so tiny on the snow-white sheets. Teacup’s eyes were tightly closed, and its breathing was very weak. Looking at such a fragile little thing, Li Chengxiu’s heart was stuck in his throat.
His vision was blurry, his nose was sore, and he was at the brink of tears.
The only reason he lived now was because of this puppy who needed him. Li Chengxiu had nobody else in this world.
If Teacup wasn’t there anymore, he really wouldn’t know what to do with himself.
The more Li Chengxiu thought about it, the sadder he became, and he couldn't help crying.
The vet was terrified: "Sir! Don't cry, it might not even be so serious. Even people get sick once in a while. Every living creature gets sick. It’s a common thing… Please don’t worry too much…"
Li Chengxiu shook his head, nodded, buried his face in his palm, and choked: "Doctor, please save my dog!"
The vet nodded quickly: "I will try my best, I will try my best! So let's just calmly put it here… I will give it some medicine, but I have to observe it in the clinic for a while."
Li Chengxiu raised his head and glanced at Teacup. He was afraid to leave: "Doctor… I can…stay here."
The doctor showed an embarrassed expression: "It's useless for you to stay here all alone. Besides, I don't have a place for you to sleep in the clinic. You should go home first. And early in the morning tomorrow you can come and see your puppy again."
Li Chengxiu thought about it for a while, and realized that him staying here would really cause trouble for the doctor. The man had a lot of his stuff here, and he couldn’t be sure that Li Chengxiu wasn’t a thief.
Li Chengxiu nodded, paid a deposit of 300 RMB, petted Teacup for a long time and finally turned around to leave.
When he got home, he couldn't even fall asleep. He repeatedly thought about the possible outcomes for his little Teacup, and he was so frightened that he cried.
He really had nothing he could do at this time. This kind of helplessness and despair devastated him. He had experienced too many things recently that he could not bear. The illness of Teacup was undoubtedly adding fuel to the fire.
Thinking back on his experience over the past year, Li Chengxiu felt that in this short period of time, he might have exhausted all his life's energy. Whether it was the huge wreckage that Shao Qun left of his life, or the loss and guilt of being separated from Li Shuo - all of this tortured Li Chengxiu, until he couldn’t bear taking another breath.
He didn't know how many changes and hardships he had yet to endure, nor how many he was even capable of enduring anymore.
He felt too tired. The Heavens didn't grant him any time for rest, rushing him from one cliff to the other in order to break him completely.
Without even a wink of sleep, Li Chengxiu got up early in the morning and went to the clinic.
Teacup had already woken up, but it hadn’t eaten anything yet, and was just lying there. The vet said that he needed to keep the dog under observation for a little bit longer.
Instead of looking for a job that day, Li Chengxiu spent the entire time at the clinic with Teacup.
When he came back home at night, his mood was even worse than before.
He lay in bed, listening to the sound of basketball coming from next door.
Li Chengxiu's heart suddenly burst into flames, and his face felt hot.
When one is in such an anxious mood an annoying noise can really bring out all the anger at once.
Li Chengxiu rushed out almost without thinking, and slammed the young man's door a few times.
The sound stopped, and then the footsteps followed.
As soon as Li Chengxiu heard the footsteps, he suddenly got back to his senses. He realized what he was doing and got so nervous that his palms became sweaty.
He couldn't imagine what he would do if that impulsive person attacked him.
Teacup was already in the hospital - Li Chengxiu couldn’t end up in the hospital too.
The door opened. The guy frowned, looking down at Li Chengxiu. Obviously, he was annoyed by the loud knocking.
He folded his arms and just silently looked at the thin Li Chengxiu.
Although Li Chengxiu was nervous, he still tried his best to say, "You…you are playing in the house…. Playing basketball…. It's too noisy…. I can't rest."
The youngster rolled his eyes and said impatiently, "Noisy? Then find a better place to live."
Li Chengxiu said angrily: "We are… neighbors, and we should value… peace. Why can't you… be considerate… of others?"
The young man was obviously too impatient to listen to Li Chengxiu's stammering words, so he hummed: "You can’t even speak properly, yet you come here and lecture me, Young Master! I want to practice dribbling. If you don’t like it, move out."
Li Chengxiu's eyes were red from anger, and he was almost speechless, as he just repeated: “You…You…You”
The guy saw that Li Chengxiu could only pronounce a few words and was about to cry.
Li Chengxiu finally managed to say, "You can…go to the basketball court."
The youngster curled his lips: "If I could find a basketball court, I would have gone there, duh. I’ve only moved in a couple days ago. How would I know where to find a court around here?”
Li Chengxiu was stunned for a while, but then he hesitantly said, "I know…one nearby."
The young man's eyes lit up: "Really? Is it for free?"
Li Chengxiu nodded.
The guy picked up his ball: "Then take me there."
Li Chengxiu said: "I can tell you how to get there..."
The youngster waved his hand: "Stop talking nonsense, and just take me there."
In order to have his peace and quiet, Li Chengxiu had no choice but to take the guy to the basketball court.
Li Chengxiu felt a little bit uncomfortable on the way, so he casually asked: "What’s… what’s your name?"
The man glanced at Li Chengxiu: "My last name is Ji."
Li Chengxiu realized that the guy only gave him his surname, so he was a bit embarrassed to tell him his own full name. Finally, he said: "My last name is Li. You can call me Li-Ge."
The young man sneered: "I don’t call just anybody “Ge”. Looking at you, I’d rather call you Li-Jie[3]."
Li Chengxiu knew that the youngster was mocking his girliness. He felt uneasy, so he stopped talking.
The basketball court was actually not far from where they lived. It was only a ten-minute walk.
Li Chengxiu had a habit of quickly familiarizing himself with his new living environments, so he knew about this basketball court in their neighborhood.
The youngster was very happy when he saw the court.
Li Chengxiu said, "I'll go now."
"Hey." The guy stopped him, "Wait for me here. How will I find my way back without you?"
Li Chengxiu was stunned: "Just go back the same way we came here…?” That was really not that complicated to remember.
A strange look flashed on the guy’s face, and he frowned: "It’s my first time here. How can I remember the way so quickly? Wait for me here for a while, and then you can take me back. If you start something, you should finish it!”
Li Chengxiu was reluctant, but thought that if he didn't agree with this youngster, he would have to suffer from the dribbling noise again, so he had no other choice but to stay.
The guy took out his phone and his keys from his pocket, then unfastened the watch on his wrist and rudely threw it all to Li Chengxiu, "Hold it for me."
Li Chengxiu unwillingly took the stuff.
The youngster ran to the center of the court with his basketball, excited and fast as the wind breeze. Immediately he performed a three-step layup.
Bored, Li Chengxiu sat down on the stone bench and glanced at the things in his hand casually. The watch attracted his attention.
If he remembered correctly, he had seen this kind of watch at Li Shuo’s house.
Li Shuo was a collector, and actually had a whole cabinet full of famous watches. One time, Li Chengxiu noticed this particular diamond watch. It was so beautiful and dazzling that he glanced at it a couple of times. Li Shuo then said that he would give it to him. Li Chengxiu was frightened at the time, saying he would never dare to ask for something like this.
Later, Adrian found out about this by accident and made a scene, calling Li Chengxiu a complete idiot for not accepting a watch that cost more than one million RMB.
Li Chengxiu couldn't help but take a few more glances at the youngster’s watch, but he assumed it was a fake.
If this young man was so rich, why would he live next door to him?
Li Chengxiu didn't give it more thought but he still was extremely careful when handling the watch. He couldn’t tell a real thing from a fake, and on an off chance that the watch was real, he didn’t want to damage it.
After playing for a while, the youngster was probably bored playing by himself, so he called Li Chengxiu over.
Li Chengxiu waved his hands again and again: "I can’t...I can’t play."
"What's so difficult about basketball? You only need to throw the ball in the hoop. Come here."
Li Chengxiu still shook his head: "I really can’t."
With a "tsk", the youngster suddenly pulled him up from the bench.
He dragged Li Chengxiu into the center of the court: "If you can't play, just stand here and let me practice passing the defense[4]."
Li Chengxiu didn't understand what kind of "defense" the guy was going to practice. The kid was already in motion, rushing towards him from a distance and ready to throw the ball. Li Chengxiu was scared and felt that at that speed, the guy was going to inevitably crush into him. So he screamed in horror and ran away.
The young man was a bit surprised for a moment, and then he lost his temper. He laughed and scolded: "Are your guts made of fucking paper? Or are you a woman disguised as a man?"
Li Chengxiu was bitter, feeling that he really couldn’t keep up with youngsters. He begged for mercy: "I really don't know how to play."
The guy probably also found it meaningless to play by himself, and, seeing that the sky had already turned dark, he finally wanted to go back.
Li Chengxiu felt like he was granted amnesty. After returning the things to the guy, he quickly took him back home.
That night, as expected, there was no dribbling sound coming from next door, and Li Chengxiu felt relieved.
Teacup stayed in the clinic for four days before finally showing some signs of improvement - the dog developed some appetite.
The vet said that as long as it was eating, it was a good sign.
Li Chengxiu breathed a sigh of relief, took notes about everything the vet advised him to do and took little Teacup back home with him.
Li Chengxiu’s hands were a little unsteady when he was paying for the treatment. Unexpectedly, this whole thing turned out to cost more than 1400 RMB. Li Chengxiu had never even had such an expensive disease himself!
But as long as Teacup was doing well, Li Chengxiu was ready to pay. It’s just that now his money situation was suddenly much tighter.
In the first few days, Li Chengxiu still didn't dare to leave, for fear that when he left, something would happen to the pup. But the money was only going out and not coming in, so he slowly began to panic.
One night he was stewing bone soup at home. Teacup had developed a better appetite recently, so Li Chengxiu wanted to prepare something good for him.
As soon as the apartment filled with the delicious fragrance, the doorbell rang.
Li Chengxiu opened the door and saw the youngster named Ji right in front of him. He looked at him inquiringly.
The guy seemed a little embarrassed. He pretended to be casual as he said: "Take me to the basketball court, just like the last time."
Li Chengxiu was taken aback: "I…I’m in the middle of something."
"Isn't it just a few minutes away? Take me there!"
Li Chengxiu thought for a while, then frowned and asked, "Don’t you know the way?"
The guy’s face changed slightly, and he unconsciously raised his voice: "I’ve only been there once. How the hell could I remember the way?"
Li Chengxiu was helpless. How was it even possible not to remember the way? It was just three corners away.
He looked back at Teacup squatting on the kitchen floor and eagerly looking at the steaming soup pot. Apologetically he said, "Tomorrow, okay? I really have something to do."
The youngster bent over Li Chengxiu’s shoulder and looked inside. The apartment was very small, so he could see everything at a glance.
The smell of the fragrant bone broth also drifted into his nose, and his stomach growled.
Both of them were a little embarrassed. The youngster looked at Li Chengxiu with his bright eyes.
Li Chengxiu asked politely: "Have you… Have you eaten already? Or..."
Li Chengxiu didn’t actually mean to invite him, so he really didn’t expect that this young man would be shameless enough to say "Okay!" and walk right inside his apartment.
Li Chengxiu just stared blankly at the guy’s back.
Well, it wasn’t so bad to be a little neighborly. Li Chengxiu closed the door and invited the guy to sit down.
Chapter 58
The young man with the last name Ji looked like he hadn't eaten for a long time. He immediately downed two whole bowls of the bone without even raising his head. Li Chengxiu was too stunned to speak.
He couldn’t help feeling a little sympathetic. Although his own economic situation was not particularly good, he still could support himself and a dog. The young man probably was still going to school and had no income, so he was even in a more difficult situation.
Li Chengxiu quickly fried some rice and served it to the youngster.
He then squatted down and mixed the medicine given by the vet into the food meant for Teacup. From time to time, he looked up at the guy who was enthusiastically munching and let out a quiet sigh in his heart.
The young man kept eating for a while, and when he finally had satisfied his primal hunger, he realized that he was really missing his manners. His face slightly red, he looked down at Li Chengxiu who was peeking at him: "Hey, why aren’t you eating?"
Li Chengxiu shook the small pink bowl in his hand.
The man seemed to have just noticed the existence of Teacup. He said "Huh?" and then grinned: "Isn't this the kind of dog that only women have?"
Li Chengxiu lowered his head: "Somebody else gave it to me."
"A girl?"
Li Chengxiu's back slightly froze, and he suddenly remembered the first time he saw Teacup.
It was tied into a large bouquet of flowers, and was given to him by Shao Qun as a gift. At that time, Li Chengxiu was overwhelmed by the warm emotions and sweetness in his heart.
Thinking about it now, this was Shao Qun's usual trick. He would get angry at Li Chengxiu, say horrible things to him, do horrible things to him… And afterwards he would find a way to show his goodwill. But he would never sincerely apologize.
As soon as Li Chengxiu thought of Shao Qun, dark and heavy sadness overwhelmed him, and he didn’t know if he could ever recover.
Seeing that Li Chengxiu didn't respond, the guy didn’t care to ask anymore. He lowered his head and continued eating, “How is your cooking so delicious? I could smell the aroma in my apartment already. You’re not a cook by any chance?”
Li Chengxiu stood up and said, "I am."
The youngster raised his eyebrows: "So it’s true! No wonder then."
Li Chengxiu got himself a bowl of rice, sat opposite the guy and also started eating.
He finally remembered that he was actually a host, so he wanted to say "Eat some more! Don’t be shy!", but he suddenly realized that there was almost nothing left anymore.
The youngster awkwardly blinked at him.
Li Chengxiu asked carefully, "Are you full?"
The guy gave it a thought and finally shook his head.
The corner of Li Chengxiu’s mouth unconsciously twitched. He got up and went to get two more dishes. To think of it, he had almost forgotten how to laugh.
When he was full of food and drink, the young man became more talkative. He asked Li Chengxiu for his first name. Li Chengxiu, in turn, started calling him Xiao Ji.
Li Chengxiu wasn’t someone who talked much, so he didn’t really know how to chat with strangers. Basically, Xiao Ji just asked questions, and Li Chengxiu answered.
The youngster had never met somebody as boring as Li Chengxiu, so he soon was tired of the conversation and squatted down to tease Teacup.
Teacup was eating when Xiao Ji poked its spine with his finger a few times. That caused poor Teacup to lose its balance, so it turned around and glared at the guy.
Li Chengxiu couldn't help but say, "Stop teasing him! The pup has just recovered, so it needs to eat well."
“The sicker you are the more active you need to be! The more you spoil the dog, the more delicate it becomes." Xiao Ji said all that while pulling at Teacup's head, continuing to happily tease it.
Li Chengxiu raised his eyebrows. He couldn't stand it anymore. He went up to move the puppy and its bowl to a different place.
Xiao Ji sat back in his seat coyly. Then he had the audacity to ask, "Is there any dessert?"
Li Chengxiu was helpless. He rarely encountered someone who really didn't treat himself as an outsider, and he didn't know how to deal with that.
He got up and rummaged through his refrigerator, and finally found a piece of jujube cake that he had bought in the morning. He handed it to Xiao Ji: "It’s jujube cake. Do you want it?"
Xiao Ji looked at the appearance of that thing and wrinkled his nose: "Forget it."
Even after eating, the guy didn’t want to leave, and Li Chengxiu was too embarrassed to drive him away.
When Teacup was done with its food, Xiao Ji came up to hug it, and Li Chengxiu felt truly terrified.
Finally, when it was already past 10 pm, Xiao Ji patted his butt and left extremely satisfied.
Li Chengxiu was already very tired by the time he saw him out.
Since then, Li Chengxiu felt that the young man started to take advantage of him.
Every now and then, he asked Li Chengxiu to take him to the basketball court. After going there six or seven times, he finally memorized the way. So he just began coming around to eat.
Li Chengxiu was too thin-skinned and too embarrassed to drive the youngster away. Besides, he felt some pity for him. A half-grown boy alone and far from home had really no one to take care of him. In fact, Li Chengxiu could afford to feed another mouth, and it felt less lonely to have another person around. Over time, Li Chengxiu got used to Xiao Ji coming over to eat and sometimes even deliberately left some food for him when he came back from practicing basketball.
The two were only separated by a wall, so they met often and gradually became familiar with each other.
When Li Wenxun received a call from assistant Zhou, he was quite surprised. Even after the other party introduced himself, he still couldn’t remember who it was exactly.
Only later did he realize that this was Shao Qun's assistant.
Assistant Zhou's tone was quite serious, as he asked Li Wenxun to come over to Shenzhen. He said that his boss was really in a bad state, but he didn't dare to report it to the Shao family.
Taken aback, Li Wenxun asked what exactly was going on. Assistant Zhou went silent for a while, and only after a long time, he finally said, "It's not good for me as a subordinate to talk about Mr. Shao's private affairs, but… it's all because of Li Chengxiu."
Li Wenxun was dumbfounded. He remembered that the last time he met Shao Qun in Beijing, they had a disagreement. He knew that Shao Qun might really be in trouble this time, so he bought a plane ticket to Shenzhen.
The moment Xiao Zhou opened the door of Shao Qun's house with his key, such a strong stench of alcohol hit Li Wenxun’s nose that he almost keeled over.
He went in to take a look, and really couldn’t believe that this was the place where Shao Qun lived.
Although Shao Qun was not a very neat person, he had high requirements towards his quality of life. How could he stay in this messy place that looked like a dog kennel?
Li Wenxun kicked away the rolling wine bottle that almost tripped him over and tentatively called out, "Shao Qun?"
Xiao Zhou pointed to the inside of the house: "He’s in the bedroom."
Li Wenxun and Xiao Zhou entered the bedroom together and saw a man lying motionlessly on the big bed, with most of the buttons on his pajamas undone. He looked unshaven. The curtains in the bedroom were still closed, so the room was very dark, as if it was still night. The window hadn’t been opened in a long time, so the smell was really bad. If one couldn’t see the man’s chest going up and down, one would think that the man on the bed was dead.
Li Wenxun said "Fuck!" and pointed at Shao Qun: "How long has he been like this?"
Xiao Zhou frowned and said, "It's been four or five days. After no one could find Li Chengxiu’s location, Mr. Shao stopped going to work or even leaving the house. Instead, he just stays here and drinks all day long. At first I didn’t dare to come in but then I got scared that there might have been an accident, so I found someone to pry open the door. Mr. Shao is completely out of it right now, he’s not listening to any persuasion. And I just… don’t dare to inform the Eldest Mrs.Shao and the Master. I could only think of calling you here."
Li Wenxun patted Xiao Zhou on the shoulder: "You're right, you shouldn’t let his eldest sister and his father know about this." He walked over, grabbed Shao Qun's arm and violently pulled him up from the bed, giving him two loud slaps.
"Shao Qun, you get the fuck up! Look at yourself!"
Shao Qun narrowed his eyes, opening them half-way. It wasn’t clear if he even saw Li Wenxun, before he closed them again.
Li Wenxun said to Xiao Zhou, "Open the curtains."
Assistant Zhou did as he was told, and the blinding sunlight instantly shone through the large slit.
Shao Qun cursed hoarsely and wanted to turn around.
Li Wenxun said to Xiao Zhou: "Find an hourly worker to clean up the house. Is this fucking place even fit for people to live?" He then dragged Shao Qun into the bathroom, turned on the cold water and poured it all over him.
Shao Qun fought against the sudden coldness and was finally awake. He cursed with his eyes still closed: "Fuck!"
Li Wenxun went up and kicked him: "Damn it, wake up quickly! I didn't come all the way here to see this shitty appearance of yours."
Shao Qun sat against the wall and slowly opened his eyes. After a while he finally identified the person in front of him. He then closed his eyes again and said hoarsely, "Who the hell asked you to come here?"
Li Wenxun said angrily: "How could I not come? Should I have let your sister and your father come instead? They would have come just in time to collect your fucking corpse!”
Shao Qun reached out to push the shower head in Li Wenxun's hand.
Li Wenxun raised his arm, ran the hot water and poured it onto Shao Qun: "Quickly wash yourself."
Shao Qun held on to the wall, wobbled and tried to stand up, muttering, "What’s the fucking point? He can’t even smell me anymore." Shao Qun had just lifted his butt, when his feet slipped, and he fell back down on the ground.
Shao Qun couldn't get up anymore. He closed his eyes and leaned against the wall. The circles under his eyes were really dark, and he looked completely hopeless.
Li Wenxun got angry when he saw his messy state, grabbed a random bottle and squeezed its contents onto Shao Qun’s head.
Shao Qun was annoyed and shouted, "What the fuck are you doing? Get out! Get out! Get out of here!!"
Li Wenxun scolded: "You’ve turned yourself into this pitiful resemblance of a human being just because of some fucking rabbit. Shao Qun, are you fucking done with your life?”
Shao Qun stared at him with blood-red eyes: "What the hell do you know! Li Chengxiu is not a rabbit. He, he..." Shao Qun was shaking. He wiped the water off his face and covered his head with his hands.
Seeing him like this, Li Wenxun felt uncomfortable. He turned off the water, squatted down, pushed Shao Qun, and asked, "Do you really have your heart set on him?"
Shao Qun nodded and choked: "I'm completely screwed."
Li Wenxun sighed: "So you like him. What about him? He ran away?”
Shao Qun nodded again: "China is so big. Where the hell am I going to look for him? He earns like 2 RMB a month… If something happens to him, I..." Shao Qun's shoulders trembled slightly, and he pulled at his hair.
Li Wenxun made a "tsk" sound and then said: "Obviously, what you’re doing right now is not the right way to go about it. Since he ran away, you have to get him back. Drinking all day is gonna help shit all. He’s not just going to fall from the sky all of a sudden. So, how about you quickly clean yourself up, and your bro here will help you brainstorm.”
Shao Qun shook his head: "I've been looking for him for a long time... He hasn't contacted anyone, and no one knows where he went. A-wen, I feel like a living dead. I will kneel down in front of anyone who can find him..."
Li Wenxun and Shao Qun have known each other since they were both still wearing open-crotch pants[5]. Li Wenxun had seen all kinds of Shao Qun in the past - an arrogant gangster, a pretend-serious person, even a desperate person, but he had never seen him as heartbroken as he was now.
He knew that Shao Qun had really fallen deep this time.
Thinking back to the previous Shao Qun talking to him about Li Chengxiu with a confident and arrogant look, compared with today, there really was a world of difference. Li Wenxun couldn’t tell whether him falling like that right now was more abhorrent or rather pitiful.
On the one hand, he felt that Shao Qun was weak, but on the other hand, he was really anxious for him.
Shao Qun couldn’t go on like this. If this continued, he would be entirely ruined.
Li Wenxun coaxed him: "Shao Qun, you can't be in this state anymore. What if you collapse, before you can even find him? Or what if he comes back and sees you looking like a hobo? You should get back on your feet as quickly as possible. Clean yourself up and eat something. I’ll call Big Li and the others to see if we can come up with a solution. We’ll turn the whole China upside down and dig three feet into the ground just to get him for you, okay? If you keep this alcoholic act up, your sister and your father will eventually find out, and it will be even more difficult for you to find him."
Li Wenxun managed to persuade Shao Qun to at least wash himself and change into clean clothes.
When he came out of the bathroom, Li Wenxun couldn’t stand looking at him: "Have you stopped eating? You’re so thin! Do you want to fucking starve yourself to death?"
Shao Qun turned a deaf ear to Li Wenxun’s comments, slumped on the sofa, and asked hoarsely, "How can we find him?"
Li Wenxun cursed and walked to the kitchen. When he opened the refrigerator, there was just beer in it. He was so angry that slammed the refrigerator door as hard as he could.
He took out his mobile phone and said to Shao Qun: "Oh, this makes sense! You want to pass away from hunger before you can find him?"
Li Wenxun called Xiao Zhou and asked him to bring some food. He then forced Shao Qun to eat.
Shao Qun continued to ask, "How can I find him? Is there anything you can do?"
Li Wenxun pushed the food in front of him: "Yes, there are certain possibilities. Eat your food first."
Shao Qun glanced at him suspiciously, picked up his chopsticks and ate two mouthfuls of rice.
When he was almost done with his food, he stared intently at Li Wenxun.
Li Wenxun lit up a cigarette: We can go back to his hometown and see if we can find any clues there."
Shao Qun glared at him, "He has no father or mother. His old house has been sold, and the relatives in that area have long since stopped contacting him. What clues could we find there?"
Li Wenxun glared right back at him: "Think about it for a minute, even if he sold his house, he wouldn’t sell the place where his mother is buried. Once a year he is bound to come to pay his respects to her. "
Shao Qun's eyes lit up, and he was so excited that he couldn't speak clearly: "Yes… yes…. why didn't I think of it? Fucking hell, A-wen... Good that you came. I remember that Li Chengxiu once said that someone in his hometown helps him take care of his mother’s grave. Damn, he actually sends money to these people every year!"
Shao Qun jumped up all of a sudden, and he seemed alive again, as if some light had returned to his life.
Seeing him like that, Li Wenxun shook his head and put down his cigarette in the ashtray: "I’m telling you Shao Qun, you’re only allowed to be such an idiot just once in your life. Next time this happens, I’ll fucking slap you to death."
Xiao Ji freeloading like a boss
(I looked for some Xiao Ji fanart/official art but couldn’t find anything. He’s such a nice comic relief at this point.)
Shao Qun’s mental state.
(Can a sociopath actually be depressed? Asking for a friend.)
Chapter 59
Shao Qun hadn't eaten for several days, and his stomach was immediately in distress as soon as he ate something.
But he didn’t care about such a minor issue. Instead, he grabbed Li Wenxun and said they should leave as soon as possible.
Some irritation bubbled inside Li Wenxun. As soon as he arrived from Beijing, he went straight to this dam house to save this young man who had entirely lost it. He didn’t even get a tiny bit of rest! And now, the chair he’s sitting on hasn’t even warmed yet and he has to go on to the next flight? Was Shao Qun fucking kidding him?
"Do you fucking think that all the airlines belong to your family, and you can get a plane whenever you want? Or maybe you have the guts to ask your old man for a military plane to go look for your little love? Huh?"
Shao Qun scolded: "What are you nagging me for? What if he went back to his hometown today? What if he is there right now?"
Li Wenxun rolled his eyes at him: "It’s not his mother’s death anniversary yet."
Shao Qun asked in surprise: "How do you know?"
"I remember he dropped out of school around March or April, and his mother died a couple months after that."
Shao Qun didn’t let go: "How do you know that?"
"Well, we were in the same school after all, and I have a good memory. Also, it was around the time of middle school entrance examinations, so I can remember it clearly. At the time, the teachers organized some student donations for him…"
Shao Qun paused and sat back in his chair: "Donations…?"
Li Wenxun took out another cigarette, and his expression was a little uncomfortable: "Right…you went abroad, so you don’t know what happened. He dropped out because his mother had to be hospitalized. Apparently, she drank too much and became paralyzed. But he was an honor student, if you remember. So the school actually tried to get him back. If he got into high school, they promised to subsidize his studies and his monthly living expenses. But he never returned to school. I heard that he worked several jobs and went on to borrow a lot of money, so he didn’t have time for school anymore. That’s when the school organized this donation for him. It's kinda funny that when he was still in school, nobody gave a shit about him. But as soon as he dropped out, the teachers started going on about his tragic life, so a lot of people sympathized with him and even competed to see who could donate more."
Shao Qun's body gradually became cold.
Shao Qun had heard some stuff about Li Chengxiu’s past from Xiao Zhou but at the time he just thought that he was pretty tough. The only reason he even investigated him was because he was eager to get Li Chengxiu to eat out of his hand. Once that purpose was fulfilled, he didn’t give it much thought and soon forgot all about it. But now, hearing it all from Li Wenxun’s mouth, he realized that what Li Chengxiu went through back then was quite something. Li Wenxun could remember it even after more than 10 years have passed.
The more he listened, the more sorry he felt for Li Chengxiu.
The more he found out about Li Chengxiu, the more he realized that he really didn’t even know him.
He thought that Li Chengxiu was weak and useless. Li Chengxiu was indeed not very manly, but he could already support himself and his paralyzed mother at the age of thirteen or fourteen. Shao Qun couldn’t even imagine his pampered self in Li Chengxiu’s circumstances. He would neither have the courage, nor ability.
He remembered that he always laughed at Li Chengxiu for being a sissy, but now he really felt that Li Chengxiu was a man who could take on a lot of responsibility.
He might not be able to provide a rich life for his family, but he would definitely spare no efforts to take care of his close ones. Even if he had to kneel on the ground, he would still take on this burden to protect others in his life.
Just like when Shao Qun and Li Chengxiu were together. Li Chengxiu had no money or power, but he tried very hard to be kind to Shao Qun in any way he could, and he treated him wholeheartedly.
But what did Shao Qun do?
Shao Qun's face paled.
He regarded Li Chengxiu as a dispensable plaything, trampled his tenderness and admiration to nothing, took all his kindness for granted, and then squandered everything without cherishing it at all.
He suddenly had a feeling that the reason why Li Chengxiu left him didn’t only have to do with his marriage. Li Chengxiu was probably really disappointed in him.
Shao Qun thought that this was his retribution now. He never actually considered being nice to Li Chengxiu before, he only blindly absorbed all his tenderness and kind feelings. When Shao Qun finally came to his senses and wanted to treat Li Chengxiu well, Li Chengxiu no longer wanted him.
Li Chengxiu’s determination to avoid Shao Qun at any cost couldn’t be more obvious now that he had so resolutely walked away. At first he had a little hope that Li Chengxiu might still have some feelings for him, but now that hope has been replaced by a gloomy despair.
Li Wenxun realized that Shao Qun wasn’t speaking anymore, and, seeing his pale face, he knew that he had somehow irritated him again.
Li Wenxun sighed: "I’m just telling you not to rush it. First of all, I remember that his mother’s death anniversary is at least two or three months away from now. Second of all, you have to think carefully about what you’re going to do with him once you find him."
Shao Qun was stunned for a moment, then muttered: "I haven’t thought about it yet but I definitely won’t let him suffer any injustice."
Li Wenxun hummed: "Okay, Shao Qun, don't accuse me of being mean but even if he is willing to be with you again, there’s still a grievance that he might not want to bear. Once you get married, he will break up with you. Do you intend to never get married for the rest of your life?"
Shao Qun raised his chin slightly and gave Li Wenxun a bright look.
Li Wenxun sat up straight and said in surprise, "You can’t be serious?"
Shao Qun turned his face away, "I haven't figured out how to deal with my family yet. If they make a big deal out of it, I’ll kneel at the gate and go on a hunger strike. It’s not like they can kill me anyway."
Li Wenxun scolded: "Shao Qun, you're fucking insane! Now you’re even talking about dying for him. Who doesn’t act a bit foolish when they are young? But what if all that passion wears off in a couple of years? What if one day you look at him and you realize you’ve grown tired of him? And for that you want to fall out with your entire family? What will become of you?”
Shao Qun's face was full of sadness, but there was determination in his eyes: "Don’t say such things. I’m a fool now, and I will stay a fool for the rest of my life. Don’t try to talk me out of it. You’ve never met a person like that in your life. You have no idea what it’s like to have your heart ripped out by someone."
Li Wenxun waved his hand: "Fine, fine, fine! Stop being so gross! You’re really possessed."
Shao Qun shook his head with a wry smile, stood up and said, "Let's hurry up, we can catch a flight in the evening."
Li Wenxun sighed, grabbed his jacket and put it on.
Once Teacup got better, Li Chengxiu started running around the city again and looking for a job.
He was actually pretty sure that he was going back to working in the kitchen again, but to his surprise a small trucking company hired him instead.
The company's accountant got pregnant and suddenly resigned without a warning. Although the company was small, the accounts were pretty trivial, and one accountant was enough to deal with all the workload, it was still very troublesome for the business when she left. Li Chengxiu came by coincidence. When the boss saw that he had worked for such a big company before, he hired him on the spot.
When Li Chengxiu came home, he was very excited. After so many days of darkness, his mood was finally improving.
When he passed by the vegetable market near his home, he bought some fish and meat, planning to prepare a special treat that day. He wanted to invite Xiao Ji to have a lively meal together, and he also wanted to cook something nice for Teacup.
Li Chengxiu was busy in the kitchen, when Xiao Ji came by.
The guy was a big tall man who followed his nose. As soon as he smelled delicious food in Li Chengxiu's house, he immediately ran over to eat.
Li Chengxiu got along with him pretty well, and he gradually even learned some things about him.
Although the youngster didn't go into details, it was clear that he didn’t come to the city to study but rather he had a fight with his family and ran away from home. He had no money, so he had no other choice but to stay at this place and eat instant noodles every day.
Li Chengxiu wanted to coax him into fixing his relationship with his parents but as soon as he started talking, Xiao Ji’s face fell. Li Chengxiu thought that they were really not familiar enough for this kind of advice, so he stopped saying anything but still called him over for dinner.
Now that Li Chengxiu had a job, he was much less anxious.
He usually didn’t spend much money. He only bought food and paid for his lodging and transportation. There were no extra expenses, except for feeding an extra person. Who did eat a lot.
When Xiao Ji came over that day, he was a bit awkward.
Li Chengxiu didn't notice that anything was wrong, so he just casually told him to sit down as usual and not to bully the little Teacup. Then he went on with his diner preparations.
After a while, he had a strange feeling. Li Chengxiu looked back and realized that Xiao Ji was motionlessly standing behind him. He was a bit startled.
Li Chengxiu asked, "What's the matter?"
Xiao Ji's expression was a little unnatural. After hesitating for a long time, he took something out of his pocket and handed it to Li Chengxiu: "This is for you."
Li Chengxiu didn't respond. He looked down and saw that the guy was handing him a mobile phone. He was a bit confused: "Huh?"
Xiao Ji blushed slightly: "That’s… I’ve eaten a lot of your food recently... But I have no money to give you. So maybe you can sell this for a few thousand RMB…"
Only then did Li Chengxiu finally understand what he meant. He hurriedly pushed Xiao Ji's hand away: "No, we are neighbors! Besides, you didn't even eat that much."
Xiao Ji still continued to push his phone into Li Chengxiu’s hand: "Take it! Or I'm gonna be too embarrassed to continue eating and drinking for free."
Li Chengxiu shook his head: "Really, no! Keep it in case your family contacts you..."
Xiao Ji curled his lips: "They won’t. I have already changed my number. There’s nobody who would contact me now, so what’s the use of having a phone? I have written down all the important numbers anyway. So you can just sell it."
The two pushed and shoved for a long time. Li Chengxiu was obviously less stubborn than the youngster, so in the end he had no choice but to accept the phone.
It seemed that Xiao Ji really felt a bit uncomfortable and sincerely wanted Li Chengxiu to sell the phone and get some money.
Seeing that Li Chengxiu had finally accepted the phone, Xiao Ji's face got a little better and he asked, "Hey, I actually want to find a job. Can you help me with that?"
Li Chengxiu shook his head. He had been in this city for less than a month, and he himself had just found a job. There was really no way for him to help anybody else with the job search. Also, he wasn’t sure what a nineteen-year-old kid like Xiao Ji could even do.
Xiao Ji was a little disappointed and sat down on the sofa to play with Teacup.
The living room and the kitchen were only a few steps away from each other. In fact, they were basically in the same room, only separated by a piece of glass. While Xiao Ji was playing with Teacup, he couldn't help but look at Li Chengxiu's busy back.
A strange thought suddenly popped into his mind. He wondered how a man's waist could be so thin.
This weird thought was quickly banished from his mind by a delicious aroma that filled the room. The little Teacup eagerly jumped on Xiao Ji’s knees, looking in the direction of the kitchen.
Xiao Ji smiled wickedly, poked the pup’s stomach and said, "If you grow even fatter, we can use you as our backup food!”
Teacup turned around and bit Xiao Ji’s finger in response.
Li Chengxiu was in a good mood today, so he cooked several dishes. Xiao Ji's eyes lit up: "What's going on today? Usually there’s only green vegetables, radishes and very little meat. How could you suddenly afford to get so much meat and fish? "
Li Chengxiu smiled: "I found a job."
Xiao Ji said "oh" and then added: "No wonder then. Congratulations, congratulations! Would have been nicer to celebrate with some wine."
Li Chengxiu shook his head: "Just drink your tea."
Xiao Ji didn't care either way.
He would have never expected before to be so excited just to see a bit more meat on the table. In his situation, after eating instant noodles and dry bread, he already considered a plate with green vegetables a blessing. Li Chengxiu was just so good at cooking, that Xiao Ji really couldn’t control himself and had to run to his place to eat every day. Apart from good food, he also got company and at least somebody to talk to. It was much better than sitting alone at home not knowing where to go.
After dinner, Xiao Ji brought his computer over and connected it to the old TV set left by the previous tenant.
Two of them together with a tiny dog sat down on the sofa to watch a movie.
Li Chengxiu made a pot of tapioca pudding, and just the smell of it could make one drool. They each sat on their own side of the sofa, leaning over and holding a bowl of pudding in their hands. They ate while watching the movie. Teacup was squatting in between them, also looking eagerly at the screen.
Xiao Ji used his toe to tickle Teacup, and the puppy somersaulted face-down on the sofa. The youngster laughed.
Li Chengxiu glanced at both of them with a smile, feeling a little warm in his heart.
Holding the documents in his hand, Shao Qun was walking in the middle of the bluestone road between the two rows of old houses. As he walked, he was examining the rusted house numbers.
They finally found the urban village where Li Chengxiu lived before but only after they experienced a long journey with a plane, a car, and even a rickshaw.
Shao Qun remembered that Li Chengxiu had told him when he was a child that his home was far from school, and that he needed to travel one hour by bus every day. This turned out to be true. This place was technically still in Beijing, but it was already on the sixth or seventh ring road. You could say that this was Beijing but it really wasn’t in any way that mattered. The place didn’t look anything like the flashy modern capital.
The situation in this area had actually improved a lot recently, because a university had been established nearby, which brought some businesses with it.
The demolitions had started here last year, and the row of houses that Shao Qun saw in front of himself now were actually intended to be demolished by the end of the year. Many people had moved out already. If they hadn’t taken a rickshaw, they wouldn’t have found another driver who knew his way around.
Shao Qun was holding onto the address of Li Chengxiu's distant relative that Xiao Zhou had found last year. But judging from the current situation, it seemed that she had moved out.
They looked around for more than 20 minutes before finally finding the old house.
They knocked for a long time but nobody came out, and there was no movement inside. However, somebody from next door peeked out.
It was an old lady with cataracts which looked like an unnatural milky haze covering her eyeballs.
The old lady seemed to still be able to see them. She looked Shao Qun and Li Wenxun up and down: "Who are you looking for?"
Shao Qun gave her the name of the relative.
The old lady said "oh" and added: "She moved away…moved away several months ago. To a big building."
Shao Qun asked her if she knew the woman’s current address.
The old lady looked at them with some suspicion: "What do you need that for?"
Shao Qun said: "We are former classmates of one of her relatives. And we need to ask her something about him."
"Which relative? This place is small, and I basically know everyone in her family."
"Li Chengxiu. Do you know him?"
"Li Chengxiu?" The old lady thought for a while, "Oh, that child really is her distant relative! Such a pure and nice boy! He was the one who was such a good student, right?"
Shao Qun nodded quickly: "Yes, yes, that’s him! Do you know him?"
"Everyone in our village knows him. That child did not have it easy. He was very good at school already at a young age. So the government financed his junior high school education. It's a pity that he had such good-for-nothing parents! His father left his mother… If he had gone to school properly, he would have been so successful. But I heard that now he is working in the south somewhere. It's such a pity." The old lady said and shook her head.
There was pain in Shao Qun’s heart, and he didn't know what to say for a while.
Li Wenxun hurriedly asked, "Auntie, where does his relative live now? Please tell us."
"I can't really say exactly. They moved to the area with those big tall buildings. Why don't you come in and sit for a while? My son is going to be off work soon, so he’ll take you there."
Shao Qun and Li Wenxun exchanged looks. Since they were the ones asking for a favor, they had no choice but to enter that dilapidated house that was about to collapse at any moment.
The old lady poured a glass of water for both of them. Then she took out an old photo album from the cabinet, flipped it to the middle page, put her glasses on and looked for a long time. Finally she pointed at one of the photos and handed it to Shao Qun: "Is it this child?"
Shao Qun looked at the old photo.
It seemed to be a photo from somebody’s wedding. There were banquet tables everywhere, and in one of the corners one could see Li Chengxiu's fair and delicate face.
Shao Qun felt that his heart stopped for a moment. The memories flooded him like a tide. He vividly remembered this fair-skinned boy who made his heart flutter and also how he suppressed those feelings because of fear.
After more than ten years, that exciting and enchanting feeling of wanting but being too nervous to get closer gradually came back to Shao Qun in its pure original form. The feeling was painful and kind of bitter, but it was also mixed with a hint of sweetness.
Shao Qun knew now that he really liked Li Chengxiu back then. Even if he was still ignorant and green, and the feeling didn’t surpass the level of trivial budding affection, Li Chengxiu was still his first love. No wonder that he had remembered him for so long, no wonder he couldn't help but want to get closer to him when he met Li Chengxiu again.
It seemed that there was such a person in his life whom he liked a lot. But when he encountered those feelings for the first time, he was too young. And later, he considered himself too esteemed for him. So till now, he never actually completely realized his own feelings.
Shao Qun gently touched the corner of the photo, feeling the urge to cry.
Chapter 60
Shao Qun asked the old lady if he could keep the photo.
The photo was taken when a relative of hers got married. At that time, the whole village was invited to the celebration. There were no important people in this particular photo, so the old lady easily gave it to him.
Shao Qun carefully put the photo away as if it was a great treasure.
The old lady was curious: "Are you this kid's former classmates? Isn't he working in the south? Why are you even looking for his relatives?"
Shao Qun didn't respond. He didn't know how to explain anything to this enthusiastic old lady. He had lost Li Chengxiu, and naturally he wanted to get him back.
Seeing that he didn't say anything, the old lady didn't ask any more and just sighed: "He is such a good boy! Did he have a good life these past years? He used to pay off his debt little by little every month but then last year he suddenly paid everything off in one lump sum. Did he somehow get a fortune?"
Shao Qun nodded stiffly.
"The night his mother had the accident, I even went there to help. His old house was not that far away from mine. At that time, he cried so loudly and called all the neighbors for help. The whole village was up on their feet. Come to think of it, it was so strange. That night he didn’t come home until 12 am, and nobody knew why he came back so late. If he had returned even a bit earlier and sent his mother to the hospital directly, she might have been saved. His mother drank every day… every day. How can a mother even be like this? Well, and finally she managed to drink herself into paralysis! So after his mother had to be hospitalized, the boy had to drop out of school.”
Li Wenxun's face changed. He remembered some of the pranks he played on Li Chengxiu when he was younger. It can’t be that…
"That child really suffered. I heard that he was bullied in school all the time. So much so that he even…oh my god… went deaf in one of his ears."
Shao Qun was shocked and looked at the woman in astonishment: "His… his ear…?"
"Oh, it's no wonder that you don't know about it! I’ve also forgotten which ear it was. Anyway, he has problems hearing with one of his ears. But since the other ear is fine, normally people don’t even notice. "
Shao Qun turned to look at Li Wenxun.
Li Wenxun was also stunned. Seeing Shao Qun looking at him, he felt a bit uneasy: "What are you looking at me for? I didn’t do it."
Shao Qun lowered his head dejectedly.
He has been together with Li Chengxiu for so long, and he had never even noticed that Li Chengxiu had problems with his hearing. To be fair, it’s not like he ever paid close attention to Li Chengxiu. At the time, Shao Qun didn’t think that Li Chengxiu’s needs or feelings were something to be considered at all.
When he thought about it carefully, there were indeed a few times when Li Chengxiu wouldn’t respond to him, and Shao Qun had to shout at him really loudly. He remembered getting so angry that he cursed Li Chengxiu out, asking him if he was fucking deaf.
Shao Qun thought about the treatment Li Chengxiu received in school at that time. After so many years, he had no idea who out of all the students was the culprit for this particular injury. Even he and his gang had ruthlessly bullied him.
Li Wenxun's face was a little embarrassed, and in his heart he couldn’t help thinking that he did indeed slap Li Chengxiu around. But he couldn’t have made him deaf, right?
Shao Qun felt so uneasy that he couldn't breathe - pity, guilt and regret all came down on him at once.
At that time, he was very young, and when his friends barged into his and Li Chengxiu’s budding affair, his mind went completely blank. All he knew was that he couldn’t let others consider him a dirty homosexual, so he just ran away.
It's not that he didn't know how his buddies would deal with Li Chengxiu in order to shut him up. But Shao Qun was too anxious about his own situation, and the gay panic made him think only of himself at the time. So he didn’t care much about Li Chengxiu’s predicament.
Later, he went abroad, and his life gradually got more interesting, as he gained more freedom. So eventually, he completely forgot about what happened.
Only now did Shao Qun completely realize how much damage he had caused for Li Chengxiu by escaping like that back then. No wonder that Li Chengxiu was so hostile and wary of him when they first met.
Shao Qun then did everything possible to make him lower his guard and get him to open up to himself. And for what? Just to hurt him all over again. How could Li Chengxiu ever trust him after all of this?
Shao Qun felt that his hands and feet were getting cold, and his heart was in pieces. He subconsciously touched the photo in his pocket.
The old lady chattered some more, and after a while, her son finally came back home.
The old lady's son called Li Chengxiu's relative, and after the call said that he would take Shao Qun and Li Wenxun there.
When the two of them finally left the old lady’s house, it was already dark outside. If the light had been even a little bit better, anybody would be able to see that both of them didn’t look so good.
They walked through the muddy road without any proper footing, their feet sinking in dirt at times, as the old lady’s son led them towards a row of tall buildings next to the bus stop.
It was only ten minutes away, but it was worlds apart from the old village.
A middle-aged woman with a shrewd face came out to open the door for them. Shao Qun remembered that Li Chengxiu called this woman his fourth aunt.
Li Wenxun gave some money to the old lady's son, and the man took it after some back and forth.
Seeing that the two of them were well dressed and handsome, the fourth aunt politely let them inside.
When Shao Qun went in, he evasively made up a random story about how Li Chengxiu used to work for him and that now he needed to find him for some minor issue. He asked the fourth aunt if she could be helpful in locating Li Chengxiu.
Li Wenxun also immediately expressed his gratitude for her possible help.
The fourth aunt said: "Oh, I’m indeed the right person to ask! My son actually arranged this place for this child’s mother at the time. I might still be able to find it.There are several graves in that area, and the place is a bit deserted. But Chengxiu seems to be sending money to somebody to take care of the grave at least once a year."
Shao Qun hurriedly asked, "Can you contact that person?"
"Yes, yes… but he lives a bit further away. It would take more than three hours by bus to get there. Can’t go today anymore, rather tomorrow then.”
A sparkle of hope ignited in Shao Qun's heart.
If Li Chengxiu is sending money to somebody, it’s possible to find his approximate location. No matter how much effort Shao Qun needs to spend, he’ll be able to find him after all.
Seeing Shao Qun’s braindead appearance, Li Wenxun didn’t expect him to be good at socializing, so he took care of talking to the fourth aunt, leaving some money for her and his contact information.
The fourth aunt smiled brightly, and repeatedly told that her son will find that person tomorrow and inquire about the situation.
Before leaving, the fourth aunt asked them: "When the child worked at your place, was he doing well? He should have made a fortune, right? Since he could pay off all his debt at once…?"
Shao Qun nodded stiffly, but didn’t say anything.
The fourth aunt sighed: "This kid is really amazing! He didn't even finish junior high school, but still was able to pass his accounting examination. You have no idea how difficult it must have been for him. His grades were always so good, even the school board insisted on him continuing his education! But he just refused to. I also tried to persuade him to go back to school but he told me that he needed to take care of his mother. And then privately he actually told me that his classmates treated him really badly, so he didn’t want to go back there. I felt uneasy at the time but I didn’t know how to help him. Now that I know that he’s doing well, I’m so relieved.”
Shao Qun and Li Wenxun left the fourth aunt's house in silence, and didn’t speak the entire way back.
The moonlight in the sky was grayish, making the night seem a bit desolate.
The two walked side by side to the gates of the village, where the driver was still waiting for them.
Li Wenxun suddenly said uncomfortably, "I didn't know that his life was so difficult when he was a child."
Shao Qun took a deep breath, and when he exhaled, his throat trembled.
He wished he could travel back to when he was eleven or twelve years old and slap himself hard.
Shao Qun seldom regretted his actions but thinking about what he did to Li Chengxiu, he was going crazy with regret.
It was because of his ignorance and frivolity back then that he used Li Chengxiu just to pass the time. And after he had used him enough, he left him high and dry because of his own cowardice.
Li Chengxiu used to have such good grades. If it wasn't for Shao Qun, maybe he would have ended up in a completely different situation right now. At least he wouldn’t feel so inferior and would be able to talk to other people without fear.
What had Shao Qun done throughout all these years? Why, even as a grown up, did he hurt Li Chengxiu again and also trample all over his feelings?
After making a circle, Shao Qun’s retribution had finally come for him.
If he finds Li Chengxiu, what should he do to get him back? Does he even still have a chance? The fear in Shao Qun's heart that he could neither articulate, nor swallow was stagnating and pressing at him to the point of suffocation.
A few days later, they received a call from the fourth aunt, saying that she had contacted the person who took care of Li Chengxiu’s mother’s grave.
Shao Qun immediately wanted to know if Li Chengxiu had been in contact with him lately.
The fourth aunt said that Li Chengxiu's mother’s death anniversary was in September. Li Chengxiu usually remitted money to that person two or three months in advance.
Shao Qun felt a chill in his heart, thinking that he would have to wait at least two or three months before there was any news. But even that was better than nothing.
Day after day, he had no other choice but to wait. This feeling of insurmountable guilt made it seem like he was waiting for his own sentencing. Deep thoughts and endless remorse had almost overwhelmed Shao Qun's spirit.
Since Li Chengxiu started working again, his life gradually went back on the right track.
One day after work, he wanted to sell Xiao Ji's mobile phone for him.
It was a pity and quite surprising that when he asked around, the phone shop was only willing to give him 800 RMB for it.
Li Chengxiu thought that the man was deliberately haggling with him. He was not good at bargaining, so he went directly to other places. But they ended up offering him basically the same amount.
The people in the shop said that even though the phone was new, it was still a second-hand product. Besides, it was badly maintained, had scratches on it and couldn’t be resold for a good price.
Li Chengxiu looked at the phone, and there were indeed many scratches on it. This Xiao Ji really wasn’t someone who took care of his things.
Li Chengxiu came back home dejected and told everything to Xiao Ji.
Xiao Ji stared at him: "What? Just 800? Isn’t this ridiculous?"
Li Chengxiu was also helpless: "That’s how much they are offering."
Xiao Ji gritted his teeth, “Well, 800 is still 800. You can sell it for me. By the way, ask them if they want a computer. "
Li Chengxiu realized that the youngster was now living by selling his earthly possessions. What kind of life was that?
He remembered that one of their carriers got a foot injury two days ago, so their company lacked someone at this time. Li Chengxiu saw that Xiao Ji was in a good shape, and since he was idle every day anyway, Li Chengxiu told him about the opening.
Xiao Ji asked how much he could earn in a day.
Li Chengxiu thought for a while: "50 or 60 RMB."
Xiao Ji thought he heard it wrong: "How much?"
"50 or 60 RMB."
Xiao Ji showed an expression of disbelief and exclaimed: "That’s insane. I’m not doing it."
Li Chengxiu frowned slightly and said, "But… you can't keep selling things?"
Xiao Ji's face darkened, and he impatiently said, "Leave me alone! I will figure it out."
When Li Chengxiu saw him like this, he knew that the boy just didn’t know how the world worked. He probably had never bothered about such trivial things like getting firewood, rice, oil, and salt. Li Chengxiu thought it would be for the best, if Xiao Ji just went home as soon as possible.
Sulking on the sofa, Xiao Ji didn't know who he was actually angry at. He looked down at his watch and touched it for a long time. He seemed undecided and hesitant.
After thinking back and forth for a long time, he turned around and said pitifully to Li Chengxiu, "I'm hungry. I've been waiting for you for the whole day."
Li Chengxiu was helpless: "Just wait a little longer. It will soon be done."
Xiao Ji walked over with Teacup and muttered, "Could you come back earlier from work in the future? If you are back so late again, and I’m hungry, I might eat the dog."
Li Chengxiu smiled: "There is always something in the refrigerator. You can cook it up yourself."
"It's not gonna be as good as what you make!"
Li Chengxiu shook his head with a smile. While he was cooking, Xiao Ji walked around him, holding Teacup.
Li Chengxiu sometimes had the illusion that he actually had two dogs.
A few days later, Xiao Ji really sold his computer. Li Chengxiu saw that his house was completely empty, and he didn't know what else the boy could sell.
Sure enough, after paying the rent and forcibly giving Li Chengxiu 2000 RMB for food, Xiao Ji asked him awkwardly, "Do you still need somebody at the company?"
Li Chengxiu called the manager and said that Xiao Ji was his younger brother and wanted to earn some pocket money.
The person in charge was an easy-going person, so he just told Xiao Ji to come by. The work wasn’t very technical anyway - mostly just moving goods from warehouse to warehouse
Li Chengxiu thought that it was a very simple matter. But already on his first day Xiao Ji got into trouble.
Li Chengxiu was sorting bills in his office at that time, and a colleague rushed in, saying that Li Chengxiu’s brother was in a fight with someone. Nobody could hold him back, so the colleague came to get Li Chengxiu.
Li Chengxiu immediately panicked and quickly ran to the warehouse.
Before he even got to the warehouse, he could hear banging sounds and angry screams coming from the inside.
Li Chengxiu went in and saw that three workers who were responsible for moving goods were lying on the ground. Xiao Ji's face was flushed with anger. Several people were holding him back but he was still insisting on continuing the fight.
Li Chengxiu called out, "Xiao Ji!"
Xiao Ji glanced at him, but didn't respond. His face was still red, and the veins on his neck were throbbing. He seemed very angry.
When the person holding him down saw Li Chengxiu coming, his hold loosened for some reason.
Xiao Ji grabbed the guy by the collar and threw him aside. He then went up to the worker lying on the ground and was about to kick him.
Li Chengxiu shouted, "Stop fighting!" Then he rushed over.
Xiao Ji was so angry that he didn't even notice Li Chengxiu approaching him.
Li Chengxiu was just trying to stop him but got elbowed by Xiao Ji right in the chin.
Li Chengxiu bit his tongue, and blood filled his mouth. His brain was buzzing, he fell backwards, and suddenly everything got dark.
[1] So he’s the quiet sassy friend XD
[2] Counter of phones that Shao Qun has destroyed due to his temper tantrums: 4
[3] Older Sister Li
[4] What he means, is avoiding the player who blocks him from a throw or from a pass. I honestly have no idea what it’s called in English,nor do I care to research it.
[5] Open-crotch pants or split pants are worn by toddlers throughout mainland China. They are designed with either an unsewn seam over the buttocks and crotch or a hole over the central buttocks. Both allow children to urinate and defecate without the pants being lowered.