(Intro and Chapters 1 - 10 can be found here: Sissy (娘娘腔))
(Chapters 11 - 20 can be found here: Sissy (娘娘腔) c11 - c20)
(Chapters 21 - 30 can be found here:Sissy (娘娘腔) c21 - c30)
(Chapters 31 - 40 can be found here:Sissy (娘娘腔) c31 - c40)
Chapter 41
Li Chengxiu hadn't had a meal in such a relaxed and peaceful atmosphere for a long time.
After their food came, Li Shuo didn't mention Shao Qun anymore, and they just had a nice chat.
Li Shuo was quick-witted, well-spoken, and also funny. Even Li Chengxiu, who was not good at words, felt like he could communicate with him comfortably. Besides, there was Adrian next to him who always had something to say.
After eating, Li Shuo asked for Li Chengxiu's phone number.
The three chatted for a long time, and it was getting late. Adrian said that he would take Li Chengxiu home.
Li Shuo blinked and said softly but irrefutably, "No, I'll take him home."
Adrian gave him an ambiguous smile: "Yes, of course. You can take him."
Li Chengxiu said with some embarrassment: "No...rather… Adrian can take me. Thank you, bo…, I mean, Li-Ge..." Under Li Shuo's repeated reminders, he was finally forced to change the way he addressed him. But as for Li Shuo's obvious good intentions, he still didn’t dare to accept it so easily.
Li Shuo tilted his head and thought for a while: "Okay, buuuuut..." Li Shuo deliberately lengthened the last sound, "Have dinner with me tomorrow night. This time you can't refuse."
Li Chengxiu was about to speak, when Li Shuo raised his hand to interrupt him: "I'll pick you up tomorrow." He then smiled and winked at Li Chengxiu.
Li Chengxiu was too embarrassed to refuse.
On the way home, Adrian kept talking Li Shuo up.
Li Chengxiu couldn't help but ask, "Do you know him well?"
Adrian was silent for a while, and after a long pause he pretended to be relaxed and smiled:
"Well, he was my first man after all."[1]
Li Chengxiu was stunned for a moment.
"Don't worry, it was seven or eight years ago. I've almost forgotten about it. Li Shuo is always really popular wherever he goes. I’m not sure I’d be able to handle it. But he is a very good man, so as long as you want stability, you’d be in good hands. It’s just that I am…not someone for stability.”
Li Chengxiu quietly listened to Adrian talk.
Adrian seemed to be caught in his memories: "I have wronged him. I had something going on with another person behind his back… Not only did he not blame me, but he also helped me a lot. He was already a well-known accountant at the time. Long story short, I feel very sorry for him. I've known him through many years, and he's never been very successful in his relationships. So I always hoped that one day he’ll find the one. Chengxiu, I think you two are a match made in heaven. You really should grasp the opportunity. You can’t be hung up on that one person forever.”
Li Chengxiu silently leaned back in his seat. Li Shuo's gentle and elegant smile appeared in his mind. Yet it was replaced by Shao Qun's domineering and arrogant face in an instant.
When can he finally stop thinking about Shao Qun? When can he get out of this hopeless abyss?
After getting off work the next day, Li Chengxiu quickly took a shower in the restaurant and changed into a set of fresh clothes.
He had so much respect and admiration for Li Shuo that he felt it would be a great rudeness to meet him with a dirty face, while smelling of burnt oil.
He hurriedly packed up his things and went out. He found that Li Shuo was already sitting at a table in the lobby, leisurely drinking tea .
Li Chengxiu hurried over: "I'm sorry for making you wait!"
Li Shuo stood up with a smile and took the plastic bag from Li Chengxiu’s hands: "It's fine. I just arrived."
Li Chengxiu felt embarrassed and wanted to take his bag back: "I can carry it myself..."
Li Shuo suddenly raised the bag over his head and gave Li Chengxiu a charming smile.
Li Chengxiu smiled back unconsciously.
Li Shuo embraced his shoulders in a very natural way and said: "Let's go. I can’t park here for too long."
Li Shuo drove him to a sea-view hotel in Dameisha[2], where the waiter led them into a large private lounge that was elegantly designed and could accommodate at least 20 people.
Unexpectedly, there was no big round table in the lounge. Instead, there was just a table for two by the window. The wood grain of the carved mahogany table was clear and smooth, and it was clear at a glance that the thick varnish could withstand a lot of damage. The wood was of an exceptionally high quality.
Li Chengxiu had been working in a hotel for many years, so he knew that the minimum consumption for such a big lounge was astronomical. In a low voice he reminded Li Shuo: "It’s just the two of us."
As he was taking off his coat, Li Shuo said: "I know. If anyone dares to disturb us, I won’t be happy.” He smiled and opened the thin wooden curtains, "This private lounge is the best place in the entire hotel."
Outside the window, the sun was setting. On the sea surface one could see the reflection of the bright yellow light which turned the sea water into gold. The scenery was charming to the extreme.
Li Chengxiu was astounded for a while.
Li Shuo walked over and gently put his hand on his shoulder: "Take off your coat.The heating here is pretty good."
Li Chengxiu came back to his senses and quickly unzipped his coat. Li Shuo helped him take it off in a gentlemanly manner and even pulled out a chair for him.
Li Chengxiu felt uncomfortable.
He didn't expect that he would end up in a scene from a TV show. Moreover, even while acting this way in front of a man, Li Shuo didn’t seem pretentious and kept his usual unadorned elegance.
Li Shuo noticed Li Chengxiu’s awkwardness, sat down with a smile and asked, "Is my way of courting someone too old-fashioned?"
Li Chengxiu was startled for a moment, then he quickly shook his head.
"I have even more old-fashioned ideas. You know, I’ve always dreamed about lifting the red veil on my wedding day."
Li Chengxiu couldn't help but smile.
"When I was about seven or eight years old, I moved to the United States with my parents.
For more than ten years, our family of three was completely out of touch with the rapid developments happening in China. When I returned to China again, I found that a lot of information about Chinese traditions, folklore, and culture that I got from my parents was out of date, because it was all based on China they knew a decade or two ago. I’ve memorized everything about traditional Chinese festivals, but when I talk to young people in their twenties, nine times out of ten they don’t know what I’m talking about. I grew up envisioning a wedding with an abundance of red, but when I returned to China, I discovered that Western-style white weddings were popular now. I was a little disappointed...I think I'm still a very traditional Chinese man in my bones." Li Shuo saw that Li Chengxiu was listening to him very attentively, and suddenly his regretful tone changed, as he joked: "I’ve said too much. All I wanted actually was to ask whether you, my little friend Li Chengxiu, would be interested in wearing red on your wedding day?”
Li Chengxiu couldn’t keep up with Li Shuo’s quips, so he just nodded in astonishment.
Li Shuo laughed heartily, half joking and half serious: "Great, now I’ve taken my precautions. If one day I am lucky enough to marry you, you must wear a red veil. When the time comes, you’re not allowed to think that I'm old-fashioned. And you can’t go back on your word!"
Li Chengxiu blushed and smiled shyly.
Li Shuo's warm and sincere attitude made everyone who spent time with him feel like a spring breeze. How could there be such a person in this world? One couldn’t help but be attracted to him, be willing to obey him, hang on to his every word and idolize him.
They were quickly served plates of delicate dishes.
Li Shuo noticed that Li Chengxiu, who was not good with words, only talked more when they were discussing food. After all, this was his profession. So when they couldn't find anything to say, both of them would comment on the food presented on the table.
Li Shuo didn't care about Li Chengxiu’s stammering speech. He felt that his best ability was not necessarily speaking, but he was definitely a good listener. Li Chengxiu was very patient. He didn’t comment much, but he responded with glances or nods to what the other party was saying, which made one feel very comfortable.
The more Li Shuo got along with Li Chengxiu, the more he liked him.
Next to the view of the sunset over the sea and surrounded by soft music, the two of them had a delicious dinner.
Li Chengxiu liked spending time with Li Shuo. He thought that most people would like that. It didn’t only put him into a happy mood, but more importantly, it made him feel that he could learn a lot from Li Shuo. Whether it was about life, different experiences, or general knowledge.
What's more, although Li Shuo's intentions were obvious, he behaved very well, and he never did anything to make Li Chengxiu uncomfortable. Li Shuo was entering into his life very patiently, little by little.
Although Li Chengxiu was hesitant, many times he couldn’t refuse Li Shuo's invitations, so the number of times the two of them went out gradually increased.
When he was busy, he could make himself not think about Shao Qun. If Shao Qun didn’t appear anymore, his life would slowly return to normal.
When Li Chengxiu went to work that night, a spark flew onto the sweater worn by a colleague next to him, and it suddenly caught on fire. One of the young workers was terrified and poured a ladle of water all over the guy. Actually, it wasn’t a big deal, as the man was wearing a shirt underneath, and he was not burned at all. But his good sweater now had several burned holes in it and couldn’t be worn anymore.
The colleague took it off with a sad face and said, "This sweater was really good. It's pure cashmere. My aunt brought it to me from Inner Mongolia last year. Now it's all ruined."
The people around him comforted him, someone handed him a towel, and someone helped him with his wet clothes.
Seeing that the guy was about to throw the sweater into the trash can, Li Chengxiu couldn't help himself: "Hey…don't toss it."
The man gave him a strange look: "Why not? I can’t wear it anymore."
Li Chengxiu whispered: "Give it to me, okay? I'll use it… to knit some clothes… for my dog."
Everyone laughed and commented that it was, indeed, the best use for it now.
The man readily handed his wet sweater to Li Chengxiu: "Remember to dry it before taking it apart. It needs to be dried on a flat surface, or it will lose its shape. Don’t forget to show us what you end up making out of it!"
"Aiya, chef Li is really virtuous and ingenious. He can do anything!"
"Yes, that’s true. Chef Li is very capable. If he was a woman, I would be pursuing him for sure!”
Li Chengxiu's face was a little red, as he held on to the sweater with both of his hands.
The cashmere, when soaked in water, was really heavy, and Li Chengxiu didn't know where to put it now.
As he was shaking his head from side to side, trying to figure out what to do, the kitchen door opened, and the young waitress from the front hall excitedly said to Li Chengxiu, "Chef Li, the handsome friend from last time came to visit you again. And he brought another handsome guy with him. They are having dinner in the private lounge No. 4! You should hurry up." Her voice was filled with excitement that couldn’t be concealed.
Li Chengxiu thought that she was talking about Li Shuo and Adrian.
Lately, Li Shuo would often visit him here. All the girls and boys from the front hall, who talked to him, would treat him like a god and worship him to no end.
Li Chengxiu was preoccupied. He couldn’t think what to do with this thing in his hands, and at the same time he was afraid to make Li Shuo wait for a long time. His brain went into an overdrive, so he just left the kitchen, while still holding the wet cashmere sweater. As he gradually got to know Li Shuo better, he realized that he never reacted weirdly to any of Li Chengxiu’s blunders. So Li Chengxiu wasn’t that scared to expose his awkward side to him. Adrian would make fun of him at times, but it was never malicious. It was also almost eleven p.m. now, so there were not so many guests outside anyway, and Li Chengxiu wasn’t afraid to be seen.
Thus, Li Chengxiu was currently wearing his chef's uniform with dirty spots on his chest and carrying a wet gray-black sweater in his hands. He sneakily made his way to the private lounge, planning to find a plastic bag there to pack up the sweater.
As soon as he entered the room, he was completely dumbfounded.
Shao Qun was sitting in a chair with his legs stretched out. Next to him was a particularly showy and beautiful young man who was intimately whispering something into Shao Qun's ear.
Li Chengxiu's brain buzzed, and he froze on the spot.
As soon as the young man looked up and saw Li Chengxiu's appearance, he laughed out loud with a “pffft”.
Shao Qun also raised his head, and the moment he saw Li Chengxiu, there was a particularly complicated expression in his eyes. Instead of laughing, his face sank.
He sarcastically said, "Did this restaurant hire you to cook or to do laundry?"
Li Chengxiu's face turned red and then pale again.
He silently squatted next to the TV cabinet, pulled out one of the plastic bags that were usually used to pack meals for the guests, put the sweater inside it and then turned around to leave.
Shao Qun shouted loudly, "Stand still!"
Shao Qun stood up angrily, irritated by Li Chengxiu's indifferent attitude.
It took him a lot of resolve to swallow his pride and come look for Li Chengxiu again. So what the fuck was up with this reaction?
Li Chengxiu paused when his hand was already touching the doorknob. Without turning around, he asked in a low voice, "Shao Qun, what more do you want?"
To flaunt his beautiful lover in front of him? Shao Qun, what are your intentions?
Shao Qun took a deep breath, raised his hand and knocked over a plate of food off the table. The soup splashed onto Li Chengxiu's pants. Shao Qun then yelled in a vicious voice: "Is this stuff even for human consumption? What if my darling gets food poisoning? Can you fucking afford to pay for it?"
Li Chengxiu's eyes became red, and he slowly turned his face: "Then… don't eat here."
"Is it up to you to tell me where I should eat? Who do you think you are?" Shao Qun felt that his heart and lungs were about to explode. If Li Chengxiu had shown just a little bit of weakness, would he fucking need to do such a stupid thing? Why couldn’t he be a bit more flexible? He didn’t want to live in a fancy villa. He didn’t want to have a life of leisure. Yet he had to ruin himself in a place like this! What the hell did he want?
What the fuck was Shao Qun even doing here? He spent hours tossing and turning, thinking about whether to come to Li Chengxiu or not to come to Li Chengxiu. He then finally made a decision, only to start rethinking it over and over again. Shao Qun’s brain was hurting from all of this.
Li Chengxiu trembled and said, "Shao Qun, you… don’t go overboard."
Shao Qun said angrily: "Is this how your restaurant treats its guests? By talking to people with their backs? Turn around and face me."
Li Chengxiu took a deep breath: "I’m off duty…you should go."
"Go? Why would we go, if we are still hungry? This stuff here is for pigs. Go and make everything from scratch again!”
The guy who came here with Shao Qun was a little shocked by this argument.
Just now, this Young Master Shao had tasted all the dishes that were served to them. He then muttered,"He made it", and gobbled up almost everything in such a hurry, as if he hadn’t eaten for the last three days.
He could see that the Young Master Shao and this cook were both very angry.
Li Chengxiu looked at his watch, and it was almost time for him to get off work. However, there was a rule at the restaurant that the personnel couldn't leave if the guests were still there.
Li Chengxiu turned around slowly and lowered his head: "What do you want? I’ll make it now."
Shao Qun's eyes swept across Li Chengxiu's face and body several times. Only then did he feel that he had looked enough. He deliberately embraced the person beside him and said softly: "Darling, tell him what you want to eat."
The young man was insightful, so he cooperated and casually named a few dishes.
Shao Qun squinted and stared at Li Chengxiu: "Did you write it down?"
Li Chengxiu held back his tears and nodded.
"Darling, any special requests?"
The man shook his head awkwardly: "No, just don’t make it too spicy."
Shao Qun asked maliciously, "Did you hear that?"
Li Chengxiu nodded slightly.
Shao Qun continued making things difficult for Li Chengxiu again and again, and he refused to let him go. Li Chengxiu couldn't take it anymore. He felt that his vision blurred, so he simply slammed the door and left.
As he walked across the corridor, he rubbed his eyes as hard as possible to keep his tears back.
He didn't understand why Shao Qun was hurting him again and again when they had already separated.
Couldn’t he give him some space? Why was he pushing him so hard?
Most of the kitchen workers had left already, only a few were still around.
Li Chengxiu quickly turned on the fire, poured the oil on the pan and made the dishes that Shao Qun ordered one by one.
He looked at the fire several times, his eyes filled with tears, and he finally just wiped them off. After Li Chengxiu had already been busy with the dishes for a long time, the waitress came in and told him that Shao Qun and the other guy had left.
Li Chengxiu paused and then fiercely threw his spatula away.
Li Chengxiu's shoulders trembled slightly, as he stood with his back turned to the waitress.
But the young girl still noticed that something wasn’t right and asked cautiously, "Chef Li, are you alright?"
Li Chengxiu shook his head: "It's okay… you… go home."
Li Chengxiu helped the other worker to clean up the kitchen and then dragged his tired body to the bus station.
Just as he was about to cross the road, a black sports car aggressively swerved right in front of him.
The window of the driver's seat slowly rolled down, and Shao Qun's face appeared.
"Get in the car," he ordered.
Chapter 42
Li Chengxiu pursed his lips and glanced at Shao Qun, trying to get around the car.
Shao Qun quickly opened the door and jumped out, grabbing Li Chengxiu’s arm.
Like a frightened puppy, Li Chengxiu let out a low whimper and pushed Shao Qun away with his other hand.
Shao Qun unrelentingly dragged him: "Li Chengxiu, get in the car."
"No, let me go."
Shao Qun angrily twisted his body: "Li Chengxiu! Get in the car. Let's talk."
Li Chengxiu struggled uncomfortably: "No talking. There’s no need to talk."
Shao Qun hooked his waist, pulling him up like a chicken, and dragged Li Chengxiu to the car.
There were not many people on the road at night, but it didn’t mean that there were no people at all. Some of these people were watching them from across the street.
Li Chengxiu's face was bloodshot, but no matter how he kicked and struggled, Shao Qun just wouldn’t let go.
Li Chengxiu was in a state of panic. Suddenly a lot of memories rushed to the top of his head - the good Shao Qun did and all the bad, especially all the hurt and betrayal caused by him. The urge to dig out his heart was so painful that his brain was buzzing. Li Chengxiu raised his hand and slapped Shao Qun in the face.
After the slap, both of them were stunned.
Shao Qun's face twisted, and the veins on his neck bulged: "How dare you fucking hit me!"
Li Chengxiu looked at him fearfully.
Being hit in the face out of all places... Knowing Shao Qun's temper, who would have the guts to give him such a blow, other than his old man? If he didn't cripple this person right on the spot, his last name wasn't Shao. His fists were already clenched but he still wouldn't lift them.
Shao Qun thought angrily that he just didn’t want to deal with some sissy.
Shao Qun dragged Li Chengxiu into the back of the car and then squeezed himself in too.
Li Chengxiu was so scared that he cowered at the other side of the seat. But how big could a car be? Shao Qun trapped Li Chengxiu between his body and the door.
Li Chengxiu cried, "Let me go!"
Shao Qun grabbed him by the chin and turned Li Chengxiu’s face towards himself: "I can fucking mess you up. Talk to me!"
Li Chengxiu looked at him in horror.
This look of obvious rejection made the evil fire rush straight to Shao Qun’s forehead. He turned his face away and took a few deep breaths before he could calm down. He then put his arms around Li Chengxiu’s waist in a domineering manner and said very close to his ear:
"Li Chengxiu, I really don't want to fucking argue with you. You tell me…tell me what you want, and I will do my best, I promise!" Shao Qun said with a rare openness to negotiations, while observing Li Chengxiu's expression.
Li Chengxiu paled and whispered, "I want to break up..."
Shao Qun roared: "Did I agree to fucking break up? Do you think you can leave just because you say so?"
"You're getting married."
"Why are you so stupid? If I don't marry her, should I marry you? I'd love to, but can I? Do you dare to expect that?”
Li Chengxiu trembled: "So, we break up..."
Shao Qun pinched Li Chengxiu’s chin and said fiercely: "Li Chengxiu, where did I wrong you? Why are we fighting back and forth for an entire month just because of this shitty thing? You say, I forced you away because of my marriage? But I've already told you that this marriage is not going to change anything between us. If you faithfully stay with me, I won't treat you badly. Why are you making such a big deal out of this? Why can't you think about me for a second? I have to get married sooner or later. Or you'll give me a son? Do you think that's realistic? You just don't have an official title but I can give you everything else. You're a man, why do you even care about this?”
Li Chengxiu's eyes were red.
Why do I care? I really like you, but you're marrying someone else and expect me to continue to be with you as if nothing is wrong. What do I care, you ask?
With tears in his eyes, Li Chengxiu asked, "Then can I…also… get married?"
Shao Qun was stunned for a moment before he came to his senses. He immediately exploded: "The fuck no! I'll break your legs if you dare to think about it!"
Li Chengxiu choked and asked, "You can get married… but I can't… Why?"
Shao Qun was at a loss for words.
Li Chengxiu looked at the face he had loved so much before and was heartbroken: "The reason is the way I regard you… and the way you regard me… Shao Qun, you are not sincere at all. Don't… force me… anymore. I…I don't want… to see you ever again."
Shao Qun was so angry that his temples throbbed. He could barely breathe.
Li Chengxiu's repeated refusal had almost exhausted his patience. He couldn’t wait just to tie him up and carry him home. Release Li Chengxiu, and let someone else have him? No, he won’t do it even if he is beaten to death.
Without even thinking about it, Shao Qun suddenly blocked Li Chengxiu's mouth.
He was so strong that his teeth slammed into Li Chengxiu's lips, and the pain caused his vision to blur.
Shao Qun held Li Chengxiu by the back of his head. He sucked hard on the soft lips he had been thinking about for a month, then pried his mouth open and stuck his tongue in, twisting, turning, and licking all around.
He missed this clear flavor, this refreshing meal that he couldn’t eat in a while[3]. Shao Qun was truly a beast - all he wanted was to strip Li Chengxiu naked and do him hard right here and now.
While pushing Li Chengxiu against the car door and kissing him fiercely, Shao Qun reached into his clothes and greedily touched the smooth skin.
Li Chengxiu felt so cold that he shivered all over - not just his body, but also his heart.
He couldn't push Shao Qun away, so he just endured the violent kiss until Shao Qun let him go.
Li Chengxiu lowered his eyelids, his brain dizzy because he couldn't breathe. Motionless, he sat in the car seat.
Shao Qun gasped, rubbed his face, and said softly, "Darling, let’s go home. I promise, I will treat you well. I’ve really missed you these days..."
Li Chengxiu's body trembled slightly, his palms pushed against Shao Qun’s chest, and he said hoarsely, "We broke up. Let me go."
Shao Qun's hand froze on Li Chengxiu’s face, as he felt like he had received a blow on his forehead. He couldn't recover for a long time.
Shao Qun gritted his teeth and asked, "What do you want?"
Li Chengxiu said in a low but firm voice: "Let me go."
Shao Qun's face flushed with anger, and just as he was about to say something, a thumping sound suddenly came from above his head.
Shao Qun turned around and saw a police officer standing outside, knocking on the roof of the car.
Shao Qun cursed and rolled down the window.
"Sir, you can't park here. Please get out of the car and show me your driver's license."
Shao Qun impatiently cursed: "I have no fucking time for this!"
The police officer's face changed: "Sir, please get out of the car immediately and present your driver's license!"
Shao Qun angrily opened the door and went around to the front seat to get his driver's license.
Li Chengxiu quickly jumped out of the car and ran across the road without looking back.
Shao Qun exclaimed angrily, "Li Chengxiu!"
Over here, the police officer was pestering him, and over there Li Chengxiu had already gotten on the bus.
Shao Qun wrote down the license plate number of the bus, threw the driver's license at the police officer, and drove after the bus.
Looking at the familiar scenery passing him by, Li Chengxiu pinched his arm, resisting the urge to cry.
He has been living in this city for several years, and when he thought about it carefully, he really had nothing.
He had no home, no close friends, and even a guaranteed job with promising prospects was gone just because of Shao Qun’s meddling.
What he thought was love, in the end, turned into sadness and grief.
He will be thirty next year. Is he going to spend the rest of his life alone like this?
Where were the people who could be trusted and with whom they could mutually support each other? Having gone through the “Shao Qun experience”, Li Chengxiu really didn’t believe that there was someone in this world willing to be with him.
He was useless and cowardly, but he treated people with sincerity, and he also had his dignity. Why did Shao Qun have to ruin him like this?
No matter how humble Li Chengxiu was, he still wanted to experience love based on mutual respect and admiration. If it wasn’t possible, he would rather give up on the idea than be a third wheel in other people’s relationship.
Everything Shao Qun did pained and chilled him to the bone. Shao Qun could never understand Li Chengxiu’s thoughts. He didn't bother to understand, let alone give him a little respect. Li Chengxiu could only escape now as far away as possible, trying to avoid all the traces of Shao Qun.
As soon as Li Chengxiu entered the door, Teacup heard his movements, jumped out of his nest and ran up to him to rub against his legs.
There was no air conditioner in this tiny attic apartment, so it was so cold inside that it made Li Chengxiu shiver.
Li Chengxiu turned on the light, put down his backpack, picked up Teacup and gently rubbed his cheek against its warm little body.
"Are you hungry?" Li Chengxiu asked. He took out some dog treats from under his bed, sat down and fed them to Teacup one by one.
"I brought you…very good yarn…when I have time…I will knit some clothes for you…some tiny clothes," Li Chengxiu blinked and swallowed his tears.
Teacup licked his fingers with his little tongue.
Suddenly a loud noise came from downstairs, followed by the landlord's wife shouting, "Xiao Li, someone is looking for you!"
Li Chengxiu put Teacup on the bed, opened the door and shouted, "Come in!" He thought it was Adrian, since Adrian was the only one at the moment who knew where he lived. Although Li Shuo gave him a ride several times, he would just stop at the gates of the community. .
Someone came upstairs with heavy footsteps.
The sound of those footsteps echoed heavily in Li Chengxiu's ears.
These were not Adrian's footsteps, it was...
Shao Qun appeared from the corner of the staircase with a sullen face. He put his hands in his pockets, the collar of his black coat stood up high, and he gloomily looked at Li Chengxiu. He walked very slowly, but every step he took was as if he was stepping directly on Li Chengxiu's heart.
Li Chengxiu trembled and closed the door with a "bang".
Shao Qun's footsteps stopped right in front of the door, and he said solemnly, "Li Chengxiu, can this shitty door withstand my kick?"
Li Chengxiu gritted his teeth and opened up.
Shao Qun looked at his palm-sized "room".
There was only one bed, a table, and a modest wardrobe there. Not even a chair to sit on…
He could feel the cold just standing outside the door. He couldn't imagine how Li Chengxiu could survive in such a place.
After hesitating for a while, he stepped inside and realized that the ceiling was just as high as he was.[4] As long as Shao Qun straightened his back a little, his hair would literally touch the ceiling.
Shao Qun said angrily, "You'd rather live in this kind of kennel than go home with me? You’re insane.”
Li Chengxiu took a step back: "That wasn’t my home."
Shao Qun came closer, shrouding Li Chengxiu in his shadow.
"I really fucking regret wasting so much time with you. I should have known better than to bother with your bullshit. I'm giving you two choices now, pack your things and come home with me, or I'll carry you back. You know, I am someone who does what he says. So will you leave on your own, or do you want me to help you?"
Li Chengxiu couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He looked around the small room at a loss and then fixed his eyes on Shao Qun’s intimidating figure.
Shao Qun slammed at the flimsy wardrobe and said in a threatening voice, "Pack up your stuff."
Li Chengxiu shook his head.
Shao Qun noted coldly: "It’s also fine if you don’t pack up. There is everything at home." He grabbed Li Chengxiu's wrist and urged, "Let's go."
Li Chengxiu exclaimed, "No! You're crazy..."
Shao Qun hugged Li Chengxiu’s waist: "Shut up!"
Li Chengxiu shouted angrily, "Shao Qun! Let go! Let me go!"
Shao Qun scolded: "I shouldn't have fucking argued with you. Listen carefully, the only way for us to break up is if I say so. Who are you to break up with me? Don't even think about it!""
Li Chengxiu turned towards the woofing little Teacup. With tears in his eyes he called, "Teacup! Teacup......"
Shao Qun paused for a while, only to find the scared little puppy sitting on the bed. He was about to pick the dog up, when Li Chengxiu's phone, which was lying on the table, suddenly rang.
Li Chengxiu was surprised, and subconsciously he moved to get the phone.
However, Shao Qun was faster, and he managed to snatch up the phone right before Li Chengxiu got to it. He put it away, then frowned and looked at the display.
Nobody other than him should be calling Li Chengxiu's cell phone, especially not at midnight.
When he saw the words "Li-Dage" spelled out on the screen, Shao Qun's hand shook, and he stiffly accepted the call.
Li Shuo's gentle and steady voice came from the other side into the small attic room: "Chengxiu, are you off work? Are you home?"
Shao Qun felt that blood rushed to the top of his head, and his vision blurred. He clenched his fists, and his gloomy eyes swept towards Li Chengxiu, staring right through his flesh.
Li Chengxiu was shocked and took a step back. He could physically feel Shao Qun's violent anger, so he couldn’t stop shaking.
Seeing that there was no answer, Li Shuo asked curiously, "Chengxiu?"
Shao Qun sneered and said slowly, "He's off work. And he's also home. Now he's sticking out his ass waiting for me to fuck him. Would you like to hear it?"
Li Chengxiu exclaimed, "Li-Dage……"
Shao Qun had already dropped the call. He threw the outdated old phone to the ground and smashed it to pieces[5].
Li Chengxiu looked at Shao Qun with fear.
He had never seen Shao Qun in such a state before.
Shao Qun put his hand on his collar and slowly unbuttoned his coat. Coldly he said, "So that’s how it is. I was wondering why you left so abruptly. Turns out, you’re already with someone else. But he didn’t pay you well enough, you little whore? That’s why you’re living in this doghouse, pretending to be pitiful. Or are you still evaluating your options? Huh?”
Li Chengxiu was very frightened, but he had no more possibilities of retreat, so he could just sit down on the bed.
Shao Qun's tall figure was looming over his head like an impending nightmare.
If I needed to find one picture to illustrate this whole situation…
Shao Qun threw his coat on the table and then roughly pushed Li Chengxiu onto the narrow bed.
Scared, Li Chengxiu struggled against Shao Qun with both his hands and feet: "Shao Qun, what are you doing..."
Shao Qun pinched his cheek and said viciously: "When did you hook up with him? It wasn’t easy, since I destroyed your phone. So you had to go find him at some point. When? Huh? When?!"
When he thought that Li Chengxiu might have had contact with Li Shuo behind his back for a long time, he saw red. It felt as if his heart was being punched non-stop, and the pain was unbearable.
"To think that I felt a little sorry for you! I didn’t expect that you were so eager to get rid of me, so you could get together with your big boss as soon as possible. And I wondered why you left so easily? Did you guys take me for a fool?” Shao Qun's eyes were bloodshot, and the blue veins on his forehead were bulging. The hand that was holding Li Chengxiu's face seemed to be crushing his bones.
Li Chengxiu contorted in pain and pushed Shao Qun's hand away as hard as he could, but his strength was negligible in front of Shao Qun.
"Shao Qun...don't..."
He heard whining right next to his ear, and as he glanced towards the sound, he saw that Teacup was nearby, hitting Shao Qun’s fingers with his small paws and biting him.
The puppy was barely three months old, so its bite was more like a scratch. Shao Qun picked Teacup up and threw it on the table without even properly looking at it.
Li Chengxiu was afraid that it would fall off the table, so he stretched out his hand to put the dog down. However, Shao Qun pressed his chest hard to keep him from getting up, knelt on one knee between his legs and began tearing his clothes off.
"Shao Qun!"
Shao Qun was already in a fit of rage. He had only one thought in his mind - Li Chengxiu was with someone else. But Li Chengxiu was his. How could he be with someone else?
“You really surprised me, you little slut. Pretending to be so clean and innocent with me! Marriage was just an excuse, right? You wanted to break up with me to get together with him?"
With tears in his eyes, Li Chengxiu tried to grab his clothes: "No... That’s not..."
Shao Qun pulled off the cashmere scarf around his neck. Ignoring Li Chengxiu’s struggle, he used it to tie his hands to the rusty iron bedpost, "What do you mean “no”? Didn’t he just call you in the middle of the night? Didn’t he know exactly which shift you were working today? Damn bitch, I will fucking kill you now!”
Li Chengxiu was trembling with fear and begged Shao Qun tearfully: "Shao Qun, please, don't..."
Who could save him now? Such Shao Qun was really terrifying. It was like he wanted to eat him alive.
In three or four strokes Shao Qun took off Li Chengxiu's pants, and he felt cold air on his lower body. Li Chengxiu cried and tried to shrink back, but Shao Qun squeezed his knees between Li Chengxiu’s thighs, so he couldn’t close them.
With both hands, Shao Qun pressed his thighs wide apart, presenting Li Chengxiu’s lower body to his sight.
"Li Chengxiu, do you know what I regret the most? What I regret the most is that I didn’t fuck you in junior high. At the time, you were so easy… It was enough to give you some cake to keep you happy for a long time. If I had fooled around with you to my heart’s content back then, I wouldn’t have bothered to pursue you now. And then you wouldn’t have had the chance to cuckold me.”
Li Chengxiu sobbed, as his heart was being torn apart with unbearable pain. He gave Shao Qun a heartbroken look: "Don't say that..."
Stop talking. Give me some leeway.
Shao Qun looked at his hurt expression and felt a twisted pleasure.
It was exactly how it was supposed to be - whoever made Shao Qun uncomfortable, should feel even more uncomfortable.
Shao Qun took a hold of the other end of his long scarf, lifted one of Li Chengxiu's legs, and wrapped it directly around his ankle.
This put Li Chengxiu into an extremely humiliating position.
He cried so much that he couldn't even speak properly anymore, as he begged Shao Qun over and over again.
Shao Qun unzipped his pants, took out his penis and rubbed it a couple of times to make it hard. He then grabbed Li Chengxiu's buttocks and ruthlessly squeezed himself in.
Li Chengxiu's brief scream was swallowed into his stomach. He still had a shred of awareness that the sound insulation wasn’t good in this house, and the landlord's family lived on the first floor.
“Scream, you whore! When you did it with your Li-Dage, you were screaming quite a lot, weren’t you? Did he have a good time fucking you? Can he even satisfy a horny slut like you at his age?" Shao Qun's eyes were gleaming. It seemed that he had completely lost his mind.
He grabbed Li Chengxiu's thin waist and inserted himself till the end.
Li Chengxiu bit his lips until they were oozing blood, and he couldn’t wait to just faint from the pain as soon as possible.
Not only his body was bleeding, but also his heart. This brutal invasion damaged both. All the sweetness and warmth from the past was smashed by Shao Qun like a mirror, and nothing could ever be put back together again.
Shao Qun didn't feel good either. Entering such a dry and tight place, he was also in pain.
But he felt a certain masochistic pleasure. The anger and mania[7] in his heart had to be vented on the person who caused them in the first place. Maybe that could give Shao Qun a moment of comfort.
Li Chengxiu's face was full of tears, and his skin was pale. Shao Qun turned a blind eye to it and continued to vigorously move his waist.
This kind of sexual encounter that was basically rape[8] damaged Li Chengxiu's body and mind to such a degree that he could never be healed anymore.
As he continued his movements, Shao Qun cursed, "Bitch! Whore! Do you really take yourself so seriously that you think that I can’t do without you? Or that I will never forget you? Are you fucking woth it? How many times have I slept with you? And you dare go and seduce someone else? Who fed and clothed you? When have I mistreated you? Huh? When the fuck have I mistreated you? You traitorous sneaky bitch!"
Li Chengxiu felt as if his lower body was split in half, as Shao Qun’s genitals came in and out, cutting him like double-edged knives and shattering all his dignity.
Shao Qun continued to spew vitriol: "You want to know about that tortoiseshell? You want to know why you were forced to resign? Yes, I admit it, it’s all fucking true! Because you are only worthy of serving me at home - cooking and washing for me every day. Why would I want to keep a whore who smells of oil and smoke? Who are you, Li Chengxiu, to fight against me and dare to tell me “no”? You still want to talk to me about your feelings? Are you good enough for that? I’d like to see the fool who’d talk to you out of all people about your pussy ass feelings! So I’m getting married, and you think you deserve to have an opinion about it? You are nothing! You’re only good enough for me to fuck!”
Li Chengxiu felt that he might have died at that very moment.
Wouldn’t it be great if he really died? He couldn’t bear this anymore… All this suffering, all this pain, all this despair. If it was a nightmare, he would like to wake up as soon as possible, because currently he was going mad from the pain.
There were never any feelings, never any kind of sweetness… It never existed. It was all fake. Shao Qun was just playing around with him and treating him as a charity case. How could such cruelty exist in this world?
Li Chengxiu had never hurt anyone, and he had never done anything wrong, so why was he subjected to this?
Shao Qun looked at the despair on Li Chengxiu's face and felt that his body was as cold as ice.
Shao Qun wanted to hurt him, he wanted to hurt him in the cruelest way possible, so in turn, he himself could feel better.
But it didn't seem to work at all. He felt that the pain in his heart made it difficult for him to breathe, and that there was some cold liquid flowing down his face. He didn't dare to touch it.
He also didn't dare to look at Li Chengxiu's crying face anymore. So he untied the scarf and turned Li Chengxiu over into a kneeling position. He then continued his vigorous movements.
This humiliating torture didn't last long. Neither the victim nor the perpetrator could get any pleasure out of this. The rough sex only brought pain.
Shao Qun couldn’t stay in this place anymore. He didn’t know what to do next. What could he even do? It was dark and cold here, and this attic was full of Li Chengxiu's suppressed cries. There had never been such a place before that made Shao Qun so unnerved and terrified.
After he rushed out the door, the wind blew right into his face, making it feel very cold.
He reached out his hand to touch his cheek and realized that he was actually crying.
He stared blankly at the wet liquid on his hands, unable to come to his senses for a long time. In his memory, the only time he cried before was when his mother died.
Shao Qun squatted down slowly,very slowly… trying to ease the throbbing pain.
When Li Chengxiu opened his eyes, he saw only endless whiteness. An opaque whiteness without any other color.
He spent some time trying to figure out where he was and what he was doing here.
As soon as he moved, he was stabbed by a shameful pain in his lower body. Li Chengxiu's eyes widened, and in an instant, his brain was flooded with unbearable memories.
His eyes felt sore, and he burst into tears.
Li Shuo, who was resting his eyes at Li Chengxiu’s bedside, woke up and quickly jumped to his feet: "Chengxiu, Chengxiu, you are awake!"
Li Chengxiu quickly realized that it was Li Shuo by his side, and that he was currently at the place that deeply scared him. The place he never wanted to come back to ever again. The hospital.
Li Shuo looked at Li Chengxiu’s tear-stained face, and his heart ached for him.
He knew that something bad was about to happen on the other end of the phone when the call was hung up. However, he didn't expect to see such a horrible scene when he arrived together with Adrian.
Li Shuo’s temperament had always been peaceful. He hadn’t experienced major emotional ups and downs in a long time, and he wasn’t one for great joys or great sorrows. But at that moment, he really had the urge to kill Shao Qun, that brute.
At the same time, his sympathy and pity for Li Chengxiu increased dramatically.
The moment Li Chengxiu saw Li Shuo, he covered his eyes with the back of his hand.
He could already imagine how he got to the hospital, even though he fainted right after Shao Qun left. How could he face anybody now?
Li Shuo stretched out his hand and stroked Li Chengxiu’s head. With his other hand he gently removed Li Chengxiu's palm from his eyes. He gently leaned down, tenderly kissed his tears away and said softly: "It's alright. I'm here, it's alright." Li Shuo was also about to cry. Seeing Li Chengxiu like this was painful.
Li Chengxiu held back the hoarse cries in his throat, but his tears kept running down his face. He grabbed Li Shuo's hand with great strength, just like a drowning person would grab the only available driftwood. Only like this could he find some energy to live.
Li Shuo pressed his head into his arms and coaxed him softly: "Cry if you want to cry. Don't hold back, Chengxiu. I will protect you, and I won't let anyone hurt you ever again."
Li Chengxiu whimpered in a low voice, and then cried for a long, long time in Li Shuo’s arms.
Adrian brought him fragrant porridge and some side dishes in the evening.
The three of them tacitly kept silent about Shao Qun and the reason why Li Chengxiu was in the hospital.
Li Shuo put his work at the accounting company on the backburner for a while, in order to take care of Li Chengxiu. He was gentle and considerate, and all the doctors and nurses in the hospital, old and young, were completely enamored.
Adrian also came to see him every day, often making self-deprecating jokes, but nothing could make Li Chengxiu smile.
Li Chengxiu became more and more silent.
He didn’t like to talk in the first place, and now he wouldn’t even open his mouth more than several times a day.
Adrian also brought Teacup to the hospital. Originally, the hospital didn’t allow any pet visitors. After being discovered, Adrian tried to trick the nurse. She was the motherly type, so she couldn’t resist seeing such a cute boy putting up a spoiled child act, and ended up turning a blind eye.
Li Chengxiu often distractedly hugged the little Teacup, yet for most of the time he was like a person without a soul.
He stayed in the hospital for a week in total.
In fact, there was nothing seriously wrong with him. He had a cold, and there were certain unspeakable injuries, but they healed fast.
After he was discharged from the hospital, he learned that Li Shuo had already found a new place for him to live. His luggage and other things were already moved over entirely. The house had everything he needed, it was warmly and comfortably decorated, and had a homey feel to it.
Li Chengxiu didn't say anything other than thank you and just moved in.
Li Shuo also helped him quit his job.
Because apparently Shao Qun had gone to the restaurant several times already when he couldn't find anyone at Li Chengxiu's place anymore. Even if Li Shuo hadn't resigned for him, Li Chengxiu was no longer willing to work at that place.
He wanted to completely eliminate Shao Qun from his life. He never wanted to meet him ever again or give him a possibility to find him.
These days, Li Chengxiu’s life was suddenly very idle. All he did all day was watch TV in a daze while holding Teacup in his arms.
Li Shuo saw him like this and was worried and heartbroken.
After Li Chengxiu had settled down a bit, Li Shuo planned to look for Shao Qun, the brute. He didn't expect, though, that Shao Qun would deliver himself to his door.
At this point, I wonder why I’m translating this.
Chapter 44
When Li Shuo received a call from his secretary, he was buried in a pile of documents and was tiredly massaging his temples.
He was absent from work for a few days due to taking care of Li Chengxiu, and now the work had piled up like a mountain.
The intercom phone rang. Li Shuo didn't even lift his head and just fumbled to press the button.
"Mr. Li, Amy said that a certain Mr. Shao is looking for you..." The secretary's voice was hesitant.
Li Shuo's expression froze, and he slowly raised his head: "Mr. Shao?"
"Yes, he didn't make an appointment. But Amy said that he seemed very aggressive and didn't look like he was all there. Should we call security?"
Li Shuo responded with an affirmative "um" and then said: "Let him come up. You can call the security department and ask for a few people to stand outside my office. Also, call the police."
"Oh..." the secretary hesitated.
"Do as I say and just let him come up."
"……OK."
When he got off the phone, Li Shuo put all the important documents into the drawer beside him, got up and stretched a little. He then pulled off his tie and undid the top button on his shirt.
After a while, there was a knock on the door.
Li Shuo called out to enter.
The lady from the front desk opened the door, led Shao Qun inside the office with a cold look on her face and then quickly backed away and closed the door behind her.
Shao Qun looked exactly the same as the first time Li Shuo met him. His clothes were bright and neat, his hair was layered and fixed with hair wax, not a trace of lint could be seen on his spotless coat, his pants were ironed straight, and his leather shoes were unbelievably shiny.
Despite all this, Li Shuo could still see that his condition was not very good.
As a man, he could understand that Shao Qun would never fall short in front of his love rival. But all this deliberate perfection was betrayed by the two dark circles under his eyes and his gloomy face.
One can’t hide when one is in high spirits, similarly, dejection and depression couldn’t be easily concealed either.
Shao Qun's expression was that of a man who was ready to rush at Li Shuo and kill him at any moment.
Li Shuo crossed his hands on his chest, subconsciously taking a defensive posture. He looked at Shao Qun with contempt and ruthlessness in his eyes.
Shao Qun gritted his teeth and said, "Where is Li Chengxiu?"
Li Shuo snorted sarcastically: "Do you think I'll tell you?"
Of course, Shao Qun knew that Li Shuo would never tell him anything easily. But right now, he really had a sense of urgency to find Li Chengxiu, and he had no other options but to come here.
After that night in the attic, he got himself drunk and slept all day and night.
He didn't know where he went wrong.
Although Shao Qun was short-tempered and often caused trouble, he had always known the limits of what was appropriate. He had never felt that there was something out of the ordinary in the matter of Li Chengxiu. Everything that Li Chengxiu did was within the scope of Shao Qun's control. So Li Chengxiu should have been firmly under his control! And he thought that he was treating him pretty well. How did it get to this point? This was really far from what he had expected.
Whether he was drunk or sober, he couldn't free himself from this unfamiliar feeling of grief and anguish.
Shao Qun thought about Li Chengxiu so much that he was scared.
He was even more scared when the next day he went to see him again, and the landlady told him that Li Chengxiu had moved out and was taken to the hospital before he left.
Although in his heart he was still disgusted with Li Chengxiu’s and Li Shuo’s affair, he felt that this time he had really overdone it.
He had to get Li Chengxiu back. He could slowly think about what to do with him in the future, but he absolutely needed to get him back.
Shao Qun pointed at the bridge of Li Shuo's nose, his eyes full of fire: "You fucking dare to steal what belongs to me? Why the hell did you meddle? Give him back to me now!"
Li Shuo showed a disdainful expression: "You are not worthy of Chengxiu. Besides, he doesn’t want to see a brute like you ever again in his life."
Shao Qun was so angry that his eyes turned red. He clenched his fists, took a step closer and said angrily: "If it wasn’t for you stirring trouble between the two of us, would he have left me? Don’t piss me off, Li or whatever your last name is!”
Li Shuo said coldly: "It's your own fault that Chengxiu left you. I only met Chengxiu again after you two broke up. Don't throw dirty water on others, just because you yourself lack in virtue. How dare you slander Chengxiu like this!"
Shao Qun was stunned for a moment, his body shaking a little: "Really...really?"
Did he misunderstand?
Shao Qun’s vision blurred for a moment, and his body suddenly turned cold.
Li Shuo looked at him with disgust: "If you didn’t come to me yourself, I was planning to find you anyway. I wanted to tell you that Chengxiu will have nothing to do with you in the future. I will be taking good care of him. If you still have any conscience left, don't look for him again because seeing you might affect his mood really badly.”
Shao Qun's eyes were full of bloodthirsty anger. He took another step forward, desperately suppressing the fist that he wanted to swing.
He really wanted to find out Li Chengxiu's whereabouts from this man, so he could only resist the urge to beat him to death.
Unexpectedly, it was actually Li Shuo who rushed up to Shao Qun and punched him hard in the face.
He put all his strength into this punch, knocking Shao Qun to the ground at once.
All of Li Shuo's anger was concentrated in his fist, and he was just about to throw a second punch when Shao Qun dodged, jumped up from the ground and rushed towards Li Shuo.
Without a word, both of them just continued fighting. Their eyes glowing red, it was as if both of them were wrestling against their mortal enemy.
The sounds coming from the office quickly attracted the attention of the people who were on standby outside, and several young and strong security guards rushed in.
They were there to help Li Shuo, so several men tried to pull the two of them apart first. It took a lot of effort to separate the fighters but finally three or four security guards could hold Shao Qun down, and Li Shuo took the opportunity to go up and kick him several times.
Shao Qun could not wait to kill Li Shuo. His eyes were bloodshot.
After a while, several police officers came in.
Li Shuo wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth with a tissue and said lightly, while adjusting his clothes: "This person broke into my office for no reason and attacked me."
Shao Qun had also regained his composure at this time. Although he knew it was humiliating, the only thing he regretted was that he didn't punch this bastard Li Shuo a few more times just now.
Seeing this situation, the police naturally took Shao Qun away. Because it was clear that there was something wrong with Shao Qun.
Li Shuo looked at the surprised employees standing in his office who were all busy gathering their jaws off the floor. He reluctantly smiled and waved his hand: "He’s gone. Let's go back to work."
In the evening, Li Shuo went to visit Li Chengxiu.
Recently, he would often go to Li Chengxiu's place to eat after work. Even if he worked late, he still went to have a late-night snack.
Li Chengxiu had already prepared the meal for him.
As soon as Li Chengxiu opened the door, he was startled by Li Shuo's bruised cheeks.
"This… What happened?"
Li Shuo smiled: "It's fine."
Li Chengxiu let him into the room and asked, "Does it hurt? Did something happen?"
In Li Chengxiu’s impression, Li Shuo was by no means an impulsive person. He always calmly analyzed the pros and cons of everything, and he never did anything useless. Even if he encountered a robbery, Li Chengxiu thought that he would probably just pay off the thief to avoid trouble.
How could Li Shuo get into a fight?
Li Shuo turned his back to Li Chengxiu and put his coat on the hanger: "Shao Qun came by my company today.."
Li Chengxiu was shocked, and a look of pain appeared on his face.
Li Shuo turned his head and smiled lightly: "It's been a long time since I had a fight with anyone, so I got to blow off some steam."
Li Chengxiu looked at him guiltily: "I’m sor..."
Li Shuo waved his hand to stop him from apologizing: "Hey, you don't have to say sorry. You have nothing to apologize for. If I didn't teach him a lesson, I would have felt even worse."
Li Chengxiu put Teacup with its silly expression on the sofa: "I’ll look for some medicine."
"No." Li Shuo took a step forward and held Li Chengxiu’s hand, "I already dealt with it. It's all fine. The swelling will go away in a few days."
Li Chengxiu was a little uncomfortable and too embarrassed to pull his hand back.
Li Shuo looked at him tenderly and said in a relaxed tone, "I have something for you. You will definitely like it."
Li Chengxiu nodded.
Li Shuo took out a red leather booklet from his pocket and turned the cover towards Li Chengxiu: "Your junior accounting certificate."
Li Chengxiu widened his eyes.
This certificate, which he had basically forgotten all about, seemed to immediately bring him back to reality. For the past few weeks, he felt like he was living in a dream. He closed himself up and built a shell around himself. It seemed that this was the only way he could protect himself from external damage.
If somebody asked him what he was doing recently, he would have trouble remembering anything. He could spend a whole day silently staring into a corner.
Shao Qun was like cancer, which was spreading in his brain. The only way to avoid that pain and protect himself was to keep his brain completely blank.
But this thin little booklet finally woke Li Chengxiu up. He was like a person who was gradually recovering from being frozen and numb - although the pain was unbearable, there was, after all, a hope for getting better.
He tremblingly took the red booklet into his hands, his nose twitching slightly.
Li Shuo patted his head: "Congratulations! Let's celebrate it today."
Li Chengxiu looked gratefully at Li Shuo.
After the past few weeks, Li Shuo was very happy to finally see an actual expression on Li Chengxiu's face.
"Chengxiu, how about you take a few more days off and then go to work at my friend's company?"
Li Chengxiu blinked: "Okay...Okay, thank you."
Li Shuo smiled: "You don’t have to be polite with me, I think you can learn a lot there. You have to work hard so you can take the Certified Public Accountant exam later."
Li Chengxiu nodded, full of gratitude to Li Shuo.
He remembered something and said: "This…this house... I will pay the rent..."
Li Shuo raised his eyebrows and glanced at him with a smile: "Okay. In fact, this house would just stand empty, if it wasn’t for you. So why don't you just help me pay for the property fee? It's about three hundred a month."
Li Chengxiu shook his head with embarrassment: "It’s too little..." How could he pay only 300 RMB a month for such a good apartment?
A few days ago, he had already mentioned that he wanted to look for another place, but Li Shuo gently persuaded him to stay.
Li Shuo blinked: "Or you can kiss me to cover the rent?"
Li Chengxiu slightly lowered his head, his face a little red.
Li Shuo laughed and said softly: "Chengxiu, I only want to take care of you. You don't need to feel embarrassed. You just stay here, and you can pay the rent, if it makes you more comfortable. I think you are not in a very good state right now, so it’s not suitable for you to live completely on your own. When your work and life are on the right track, we can look for another apartment together, okay?"
Li Chengxiu hesitantly stared at the porcelain bowl.
He didn't want to owe anyone anything anymore - the price turned out too high for him to pay.
But Li Shuo was such a sincere and persistent person. And Li Chengxiu wasn’t good at rejecting others, especially people with good intentions.
"Chengxiu, if you weren’t living here, the apartment would just be empty. I'd rather you stay here and make use of it. And this way you can help me pay the property fee, okay?"
Li Chengxiu finally nodded.
Since he had partly paid Shao Qun back, money was really tight right now.
Li Chengxiu didn’t even receive his salary from the restaurant, since he had quit before the end of the month. Even his medical expenses were paid by Li Shuo.
With that little money he had now, it would be very difficult for him to find a rental.
He silently recorded all the debts he owed. Once he started making money again, he would return everything to Li Shuo, till the last penny.
Li Chengxiu didn't want to stay and rest at home anymore. He couldn't wait to finally go to work.
Li Shuo introduced him to a medium-sized foreign trade company, which mainly engaged in clothing and industrial crystals[9]. The daily accounts were numerous and cumbersome, but although it was tiring, it was still an exercise for the mind. And due to Li Shuo's negotiations, the salary wasn’t low. Li Chengxiu was really satisfied with this kind of work. He felt as if he was gradually coming back to life.
Shao Qun's situation, on the other hand, wasn’t good at all.
Although on the day of the fight Shao Qun only needed to make one phone call to get the few public security officers off his back, this matter naturally filled him up with pent up anger. He secretly vowed that if he didn't kill this Li guy, his last name won't be Shao anymore.
He immediately called Xiao Zhou and asked him to investigate Li Shuo thoroughly and find someone to follow him, in order to locate Li Chengxiu.
After everything was arranged, Shao Qun called Li Wenxun[10] and asked him to fly over to Shenzhen to have a drink with him that day.
They usually had their own busy schedules, and Shao Qun wouldn’t normally ask him to fly all across China for a drink. Li Wenxun knew that something was up as soon as he heard the request, so he also took Big Li[11] with him.
Shao Qun made a point of not calling Xiao Sheng.
He still remembered that last time Xiao Sheng sarcastically reminded him not to allow his little lover to take advantage of him. Right now, Shao Qun just wanted to drink and not think about why things were the way they were.
Shao Qun was already drinking in the private lounge all alone, when Li Wenxun and Big Li came in. As soon as they entered, they shouted at Shao Qun, "You're really fucking mean! After getting us all the way here, you sent a driver to pick us up? We’re not asking you to throw a welcoming parade but you could have at least picked us up personally!”
Shao Qun glanced at him and said nothing.
Li Wenxun leaned over and sat beside him: "Shao Qun, what's wrong with you?"
Big Li also sat down next to Shao Qun: "Fuck, what’s with the wimpy look?."
Shao Qun was about to open his mouth when his phone suddenly rang.
Shao Qun looked at the caller ID, and it was no exaggeration to say that fire rushed to the top of his head.
He picked up the call but didn’t say anything.
A calm and cold female voice came from the other side: "Shao Qun, Qi Ming called me, saying that she can't reach you. What’s going on?"
Shao Qun sneered: "Qi Ming? Who the hell is Qi Ming?"
There was a pause: "Shao Qun, what's wrong with you? Don't be an asshole. If you guys are quarreling, then you should properly…”
"Quarrel my ass!" Shao Qun enunciated, "Sis, listen up. I'm not tying the knot, yes, you heard it right, I'm not fucking tying the knot! Don’t you just love your little schemes? Don’t you always get what you want? This time, we’ll see about that. We’ll see if you can drag me to the Civil Affairs Bureau." Shao Qun finished talking and pressed off the call with a snap.
Li Wenxun and Big Li looked at him in surprise.
"Hey, what's the matter? Why are you talking to your sister like this? And what’s with not getting married? You’re really not going to…?"
The phone rang again.
Shao Qun took a sip of wine and accepted the call. Shao Wen's voice came into the room again, but this time it was rather stern: "Shao Qun, are you drunk? What nonsense are you blabbering about? What is wrong with Qi Ming? You should be more considerate. She’s a woman, and she is younger than you.”
"I’ve said everything already. I don't fucking know who Qi Ming is. I told you the other day to leave me and my private affairs alone. Why did you send the third sister to my house, huh? You think I will do what you want after you’ve pushed Li Chengxiu out? I’m telling you, I won't! It’s over now. You can clean up the mess any way you like it. You’re such a smart ass after all, so you can handle it yourself.” This time after saying everything he wanted, Shao Qun turned off his phone, picked up the wine on the table and took a sip.
Big Li insisted on snatching the wine glass out of his hand, and said loudly, "Shao Qun, what the hell is wrong with you? Speak!."
Shao Qun threw the glass to the ground and growled uncontrollably: "Damn! Li Chengxiu ran away with someone! Ran away with someone else!"
Guys, we did it. We’re entering the crematorium.
Chapter 45
Both Big Li and Li Wenxun were stunned.
Li Wenxun swallowed a mouthful of spit, then pretended to be relaxed and smiled: "Big fucking deal! So a two-timing rabbit escaped. When we just came in, I saw a pretty little darling outside with a very twisty waist. Should I call him here for you?"
Shao Qun was silent.
Li Wenxun gave Big Li an awkward look.
Big Li patted Shao Qun on the shoulder: "Hey, buddy, you can’t be serious. I know it's frustrating, but really, so what if he ran away? It’s easy to find someone better than him, right?”
Shao Qun drank a little more, then looked at his hands and muttered, "I can't find him now. Fuck, I really have to find him."
"Yes, you should find him and his lover, strip them both naked and throw them out on the street to relieve your anger, okay?"
Shao Qun shook his head, then hugged it with both his hands, sitting uncomfortably and repeating over and over again, "I have to find him."
Li Wenxun frowned. He couldn't stand Shao Qun's dejected appearance which made him look stupid. He quickly changed the subject and said, "New Year’s coming up. When will you return to Beijing?"
Shao Qun whispered: "I won’t."
Big Li shouted loudly, "What the hell, Shao Qun! Do you really intend to go against your sister? Are you not afraid of being beaten to death by your old man Mr. Shao?"
When Shao Qun thought that things became like this between him and Li Chengxiu due to his sister’s “good” deeds, he didn't want to go back to his family’s house at all. Besides, in case Xiao Zhou finds Li Chengxiu in a couple of days, Shao Qun has to go and take him home at the first opportunity.
He wanted to celebrate the New Year’s together with Li Chengxiu. Just the two of them.
This was the busiest time of the year in the office. The young accountants were so tired of looking at the mind-numbing accounts over and over again that they wanted to fall asleep right on the office floor.
Li Shuo was also so exhausted every day that he didn't go to see Li Chengxiu for several days in a row.
But he knew that Li Chengxiu had been doing well recently. He was very motivated at work, and he seemed much more alive.
Taking advantage of some free time at noon, Li Shuo called Li Chengxiu.
"Hello, Li-Dage."
Li Shuo felt comfortable when he heard this soft voice.
"Chengxiu, are you having lunch?"
"Yes, on my break right now."
"I've been very busy recently. It's the end of the year."
"Yes, it's a busy time. Everyone is very occupied now."
"Have you adapted well?"
"Yes… I can learn… a lot…It’s very good."
"That's good! Since you're planning to do this in the future, you have to get used to it. I'm just worried that your body won't be able to take the pressure."
"No, I'm fine."
"Did you have a good meal?"
"Yes, don't worry." Li Chengxiu thought a little bit and then asked, "What about you?"
"Me?" Li Shuo laughed, "I just order takeout every day now. After eating too much of your cooking, nothing can measure up anymore! Tell me, what should I do?”
Li Chengxiu chuckled: "When you're free again, let's have dinner."
"All right, once I find time I’ll definitely take you up on that." Li Shuo smiled, "By the way, Chengxiu, New Year’s Eve is coming up. Are you going back to your hometown or something like that?"
Li Chengxiu paused, and there was a hint of sadness in his voice: "No, I don’t have any relatives."
"So you're staying in Shenzhen for New Year’s?"
"Um."
"Oh, all right then. I’m not planning to go back to the United States this year. Adrian is also staying here for New Year’s. How about the three of us celebrate together?"
Li Chengxiu felt slightly melancholic in his heart. He had no idea how many times he had been preparing the New Year's Eve dinner by himself, making dumplings[12] just for himself and then watching the Spring Festival Gala[13] all alone.
It would be such a joy to have someone celebrate New Year’s with him.
He couldn't hide the excitement in his voice: "Okay, okay! I'll prepare the food, and you two can come over for the New Year's Eve dinner."
Li Shuo said with a smile: "Good. Then on the day of the holiday, we should go shopping together for the New Year's goods[14]. And we must go early, otherwise it’ll get really crowded."
Li Chengxiu nodded quickly: "Right, right. New Year's goods."
As the Chinese New Year was approaching, it gradually got warmer outside, and there were more and more people out on the streets. The atmosphere was cheerful all around, as everyone was crowding the shopping malls to purchase New Year's goods.
Li Shuo was pushing a cart that was so full of stuff that it looked like a little mountain. Li Chengxiu followed him, looking helplessly at the long checkout line in front of them.
Li Shuo sighed: "This line will take at least half an hour or even more."
Li Chengxiu nodded. He would rarely come to supermarkets, since he could buy things for cheaper at small markets. So he really had no idea that there’ll be so many people here during the Chinese New Year’s rush.
Li Shuo leaned his elbows on the cart and looked at Li Chengxiu with his head sideways and with a smile on the corner of his mouth.
Li Chengxiu noticed his gaze and said a little bashfully, "What..."
"Are you happy today?"
Li Chengxiu smiled lightly: "Yes." Then he immediately frowned, "However, now we have too many things to eat…
"I can finish all of it. Since I’m going to have a lot of days off, I can go to your place every day and mooch off some food, okay?"
Li Chengxiu nodded and smiled shyly at him.
Li Shuo stood up straight, trapped Li Chengxiu between himself and the cart, then reached out and shook his palm.
The two of them looked at each other and smiled softly.
Every time they met, their feelings would slowly warm up. Li Shuo had excellent self-discipline, and he never crossed the line with Li Chengxiu or put pressure on him.With this gradual approach, they became closer without Li Chengxiu even noticing.
Li Chengxiu didn't know if he could fall in love with someone again, but Li Shuo was so kind to him, that he couldn't bear to refuse Li Shuo's goodwill. If somebody treated him well, Li Chengxiu couldn’t help but want to return their favor tenfold. Besides, staying by Li Shuo's side made him feel safe and at ease.
With Li Shuo around, he didn’t have to face the past all alone. Perhaps, he wouldn’t have to face the future alone either.
No matter how long Li Shuo could actually stay in his life, at least for now, Li Chengxiu was really reluctant to let go of this warmth.
By the time they paid, their legs were already really sore from standing. Li Shuo pushed the cart to the underground parking lot, loaded all the stuff up into the trunk and then took Li Chengxiu out for dinner.
The two of them happily enjoyed their meal, then leisurely strolled around the mall buying a lot of useful and useless things along the way, like any other ordinary couple.
Li Chengxiu really disagreed with Li Shuo's purchasing policies and couldn't help reminding him not to buy things that were unnecessary.
Li Shuo was a person who paid great attention to the quality of life. He would even take a long time to choose socks made from the right material and towels of the perfect thickness. Thus, he patiently and with some sense of humor tried to instill his life philosophy into Li Chengxiu.
More than two hours of shopping was basically their after-dinner exercise, and by the time they came out from the mall, it was already dark outside.
Li Shuo didn't give it a rest until he physically couldn’t carry anything in his hands anymore. The two of them walked to the parking lot with their large and small bags. They loaded their things into the car with a smile and finally got into the front seats. Li Shuo looked at the vehicles lining up in front of them and sighed.
After waiting for several minutes, the car successfully pulled out of the parking lot. Lined up behind a long queue, they moved towards the toll gate little by little.
Bored, Li Shuo turned on the radio. The radio host happened to be telling a joke about traffic jams right at that moment, and Li Chengxiu giggled.
Li Shuo couldn't help stretching out to hold Li Chengxiu’s hand. Softly he said, "Your hands are so cold. Didn't we just come out of the mall?"
Li Chengxiu glanced at Li Shuo's hand that was wrapped around his own and responded, "My hands get cold easily."
Li Shuo smiled and said, "My blood runs hot. As long as it's not freezing, my hands and feet will always be hot. Just enough to keep you warm."
Li Chengxiu smiled shyly and whispered, "Thank you."
Li Shuo's heart was moved.
He had always thought that Li Chengxiu looked his best when his head was slightly lowered, and he had this shy expression on his face. He was so good-looking that Li Shuo just couldn’t help himself.
Li Shuo squeezed Li Chengxiu’s palm.
Li Chengxiu raised his head and looked at him suspiciously with his bright eyes.
Li Shuo leaned over, approached him slowly, and said gently, with some expectation, "Chengxiu, can I kiss you?"
Li Chengxiu's face instantly turned red, and he stared blankly at Li Shuo.
Li Shuo burst out laughing: "Chengxiu, if you look like this, I'll take it as your tacit approval."
"I..." Li Chengxiu became nervous.
He asked himself over and over again, whether it was possible between him and Li Shuo.
Li Chengxiu lowered his head and said hesitantly, “Li-Dage, what if..."
Li Shuo turned his head to the side and slowly came closer.
Li Chengxiu was so anxious that he immediately stopped breathing.
Li Shuo half-closed his eyes and gently gave him a peck on the lips, saying tenderly but firmly, "Chengxiu, I want to kiss you."
Li Chengxiu timidly clenched his fists and looked at Li Shuo without blinking. There was panic and hesitation in his eyes. He looked like a little kitten that had just been weaned and was fearfully facing the world.
Li Shuo's heart was full of tenderness, as he stretched out his hand, gently cupped the back of Li Chengxiu’s head, covered his lips and tenderly sucked on them.
Li Chengxiu trembled as he accepted the kiss.
He felt that there was a chaotic stream of contradictory thoughts flowing through his mind. It seemed, this chaos was about to break the barriers of his physical body and violently erupt. As if right the next second he would…
Boom! ! !
The loud noise scared Li Chengxiu, and he screamed "Ah!" under the illusion that it was his own chest that had just exploded.
Li Shuo was also startled. Subconsciously he protected Li Chengxiu with his arm.
Both of them turned their heads in horror to look where the sound came from and found that the windshield now had a spider crack on it - tiny cracks were spreading in all directions from the center of the impact. If this hadn’t been hard tempered glass, the windshield would have been shattered at once.
Li Shuo and Li Chengxiu turned to look at the perpetrator, and their expressions suddenly changed.
Outside the window they saw a furious Shao Qun, who was holding up a steering wheel lock bar, aiming yet another blow.
Suddenly two people quickly ran towards him and grabbed Shao Qun by his arms from both sides.
Li Chengxiu's face was bloodless, as he looked at Li Wenxun and Zhou Li desperately trying to stop the crazy-acting Shao Qun.
Li Shuo's face was ashen. He soothingly patted Li Chengxiu's shoulder: "Don't be afraid. And don't get out of the car." He then opened the door and gave Shao Qun a cold look.
Shao Qun's roar became louder: "Let go of me! Li, you son of a bitch! How dare you touch him! Are you worthy?"
Li Shuo showed a cruel smile: "Li Chengxiu is mine, so why can't I touch him? Mr. Shao, I can forgive you for breaking my car but can you afford to pay for ruining my date?"
"Fuck you!" Shao Qun felt his heart was about to explode, his brain was buzzing, and he had a splitting headache.
After waiting for so many days, Shao Qun finally got news from the person who was tailing Li Shuo. Like an idiot, he rushed here just to witness Li Chengxiu and Li Shuo chatting and laughing inside the shop and then affectionately kissing in the car. At this moment, Shao Qun wanted nothing more than to shoot this bastard Li Shuo right in the head.
The commotion soon attracted the security guards who rushed towards them from all sides of the square in twos and threes. The people stuck in the traffic jam were also leaning out of their cars and curiously watching the free show.
Li Wenxun’s and Big Li's faces were getting red from anger. They had never been so humiliated in all their lives.
They desperately dragged Shao Qun back: "Shao Qun! Shao Qun, calm down! What are you fucking nuts?"
Big Li grabbed the steering wheel lock bar from Shao Qun's hand, turned towards Li Shuo and raised his chin: "Hey, you better fucking take this little sissy away as quickly as possible! Or you know, it might be fun to smash your head in with this thing."
The onlookers could notice at first glance that this was a scene of two men fighting each other due to jealousy. However, one could clearly tell that these men were not ordinary people. Both of them were rich and handsome. Not to mention that their cars were also eye-catching and of high quality. So everybody was intensely curious about what kind of impressive beauty was sitting in that car.
But since it was dark, one couldn’t see the beauty very clearly from the outside. It was only possible to decipher a very good-looking white face with red lips that was turning left and right in fright.
The security guards quickly rushed over and were already surrounding Shao Qun and his “murder” weapon.
Li Shuo gave Shao Qun a sarcastic look and got back into the car.
Shao Qun called out: "Li Chengxiu, Li Chengxiu! Get out of the car now! Get out of the car!"
Li Shuo looked at the windshield with some distress, thinking that it won’t be easy to drive back safely under the conditions that affected his vision so much.
Li Shuo reluctantly took Li Chengxiu's coat from the back seat: "Chengxiu, let's take a taxi. It's not safe to drive like this." He then took out his mobile phone and called his assistant, asking him to take care of the car.
After he was done with the call, Li Shuo noticed that Li Chengxiu was looking at him helplessly, his face as white as paper. He wasn’t even wearing his coat.
Li Shuo draped his coat on him and gently reassured him: "Don't be afraid. I told you I'm here, so don't be afraid. Trust me, okay?"
Only then did Li Chengxiu stretch out his arms and put on his coat properly. He held onto the handle for a very long time before finally pushing the car door open.
As soon as Shao Qun saw him come out, he forcefully pushed away the guards that were holding him back, "Li Chengxiu, Li Chengxiu!" His voice was not only furious, but also had a hint of imperceptible grievance.
He had too many things to say, too many things to do. He wanted to snatch Li Chengxiu home, so that no one could find him and no one could compete with Shao Qun for his attention.
Li Chengxiu, however, did not even look at him. He lowered his head, while Li Shuo shielded him.
Shao Qun felt as if he had been punched in the chest, and the pain was unbearable. Li Chengxiu's gesture of seeking protection from him was like a stab.
Li Shuo put his arms around Li Chengxiu’s waist and comforted him in a low voice: "I'm here, Cheng Xiu. Don't worry."
Only then did the onlookers see that the person who caused so much jealousy was actually a man. Such an unexpected culmination of the drama had the crowd abuzz, as they eyed them with bemusement.
Li Shuo explained the situation to the staff, left the car and called a taxi.
When Shao Qun saw that they were about to leave, he struggled, elbowing Big Li in the stomach.
"Ouch, fuck!" Even though Big Li was wrongfully beaten, he still didn't dare to let go of Shao Qun and only grabbed him tighter.
Shao Qun shouted at Li Chengxiu's back: "Li Chengxiu, how dare you leave! You are not allowed to go! You come back to me, Li Chengxiu! Come back!"
Li Chengxiu didn’t look at him and just hid in the taxi as soon as possible. Li Shuo got in with him, smiling provocatively at Shao Qun.
"Li Chengxiu! Don't go! Come back to me. Don't go!" Shao Qun's roaring voice was filled with tears. He had never expected that anyone could hurt him so much in his life, leaving him powerless to fight back.
Li Chengxiu really just left. Without even looking at Shao Qun from beginning till the end, he left with another man.
Didn't Li Chengxiu like him? How could he be together with someone else so quickly? What the heck? How could he not even look at him? How could he be so cruel?
How could he do this? How could he be like this?
Shao Qun’s heart felt tight, and he felt like he was about to cry, when he thought of Li Chengxiu's back.
Chapter 46
On the way home Li Chengxiu was completely silent. Li Shuo held his hand and felt that it was as cold as an ice cube, and it couldn’t be warmed up for a long time.
As soon as they entered the door, Teacup happily ran towards them.
The chocolate-colored little body bounced up and down on the snow-white floor tiles. It almost looked like a remote-controlled plush toy.
Li Shuo grabbed the puppy and fiddled with his fingers around its nose: "Such a cute little thing." Then he turned its body and rubbed it against Li Chengxiu's face.
Li Chengxiu reluctantly twitched the corner of his mouth and took Teacup into his hands.
Li Shuo pulled Li Chengxiu down on the sofa, poured him a cup of hot water and then gently stroked his back.
"Feeling better?"
Li Chengxiu stiffened his neck and nodded.
Just now, he did not even dare to look at Shao Qun.
Just hearing his voice made all kinds of unbearable memories come up. The humiliation and pain were carved into his bones, soaked in blood and could never be erased.
Before that night, Li Chengxiu still had many good memories of Shao Qun. But afterwards, all that was left was fear and hatred.
Li Chengxiu didn't want to remember anything at all, yet, scarily enough, every word Shao Qun said was clear in his ears and vivid in his mind, reminding him over and over again how pathetic and unbearable he was in this relationship that did not even deserve to be called a relationship.
He would rather completely disappear from this world than see Shao Qun ever again.
Li Shuo hugged Li Chengxiu’s trembling shoulders and comforted him softly: "Chengxiu, don't be afraid. I told you that you can trust me, okay?"
Li Chengxiu couldn't help but move closer to Li Shuo, wanting to borrow some of his warmth for his cold body.
Li Shuo was greatly encouraged by this subtle action. He took Li Chengxiu into his arms and gently consoled him.
"Thank you," Li Chengxiu said witlessly.
Li Shuo kissed his forehead and responded softly, "You're welcome."
Li Chengxiu took a deep breath and gave Li Shuo a grateful look.
Li Shuo held his face and chuckled, "We haven’t finished our kiss from before. Should we continue?"
Li Chengxiu awkwardly looked down. Li Shuo didn't wait for him to speak, instead he lowered his head and kissed his lips.
It was a very tender and lingering kiss. Li Chengxiu closed his eyes and felt the feather-like touch on his lips. The kiss slowly deepened, as Li Shuo carefully tasted Li Chengxiu’s soft lips. This simple but beautiful action conveyed an indescribable tenderness and warmed Li Chengxiu’s heart.
After the kiss, Li Shuo smiled at Li Chengxiu, winked at him and cautiously asked, "Can I stay tonight?"
Li Chengxiu was stunned for a moment, and his eyes suddenly showed some panic.
Seeing this, Li Shuo touched his head and comforted him: "I just want to borrow your sofa, nothing else. Tomorrow my assistant should bring over the stuff that we bought. There’s a bit too much for you to handle alone, so since I’m on vacation, I’ll stay and help you unpack everything and clean up, okay?”
Li Chengxiu breathed a sigh of relief.
Li Shuo pursed his lips and smiled. He then suddenly leaned over to Li Chengxiu’s ear and flirtatiously said, "Chengxiu, sooner or later, I’d like to stay over for real."
Li Chengxiu's face turned crimson, and his heart was beating like a drum.
He wanted to ask Li Shuo how long they could stay together. But he didn't dare. Every time Li Chengxiu made another step towards Li Shuo he asked himself if it was the right thing to do or not. And he couldn’t give himself a definitive answer.
How could he know whether Li Shuo was fake or sincere? Shao Qun was also gentle and affectionate at a certain time in the past. And look how that turned out.
He didn't know how long Li Shuo was willing to accompany him. At the same time, Li Chengxiu was terrified to lose this delicate relationship that they had, because he was too afraid to end up completely alone. As long as he thought of the kind of loneliness and helplessness, which could turn bones into ice, it made him scared to no end.
Both Li Wenxun and Big Li were sweating profusely as they dragged Shao Qun home.
The two of them had embarrassed themselves plenty in front of the Shenzhen people today. After stuffing Shao Qun, who looked like a madman, into the car, they spent a long time hashing out the situation with the mall manager and Li Shuo’s assistant. Only after they had paid out the compensation, they could finally bring Shao Qun home.
Everybody was staring at them, and they both regretted coming all this way to Shenzhen just to make fools out of themselves.
Big Li washed his hands and patted Shao Qun's face with his wet palm: “Sober up!"
Li Wenxun sat down on the sofa, gasping for breath, and shouted: "Fuck you, Shao Qun! What the hell is wrong with you? The whole jealousy thing is stupid enough, not to mention all the gay shit. You’ve really entertained the crowd. Are you happy now?"
Big Li also sat down and quietly looked at Shao Qun with a sullen face. He then sighed: "Shao Qun, tell me the truth, are you really in love with that little sissy?"
Shao Qun turned around stiffly, stared at Big Li with bloodshot eyes and spat out two words through his teeth: "That’s bullshit."
Big Li said sarcastically, "So I’ve just imagined everything that happened today, right? What the fuck is wrong with you?"
Shao Qun lowered his head and said fiercely: "Li Chengxiu is mine. Whoever dares touch him, will have to pay for it."
Li Wenxun knocked on the coffee table, and Shao Qun raised his eyes at him.
Li Wenxun looked at Shao Qun with a rare seriousness and said, "Shao Qun, don't say I didn't warn you. You are completely unhinged right now. You have to remember well what you should and shouldn't do as a Shao family member. Why would you humiliate yourself in the middle of the street because of this rabbit?"
Shao Qun said coldly and without any concern: "If you guys hadn’t stopped me, I would have wrecked that Li bastard and also his fucking car. The fucker took what is mine, so we’ll see who will be humiliated in the end!"
Li Wenxun sighed and pointed to Shao Qun's nose: "Bro, look at me and tell me the truth, what exactly is Li Chengxiu for you? Is this all worth it? Are you really that attached to him?"
Li Wenxun’s questioning had hit a nerve. Shao Qun got enraged and grimaced in denial: "Bullshit, as if I can’t get a dozen like him with a fucking snap of my fingers! I just don’t want him to cuckold me. I’ll get him back and throw him away immediately, but I won’t let anybody else have him.”
Li Wenxun looked at him blankly for a while, then threw up his hands and said, "All right, all right. You have a point, I’ll give you that.”
Big Li dragged Li Wenxun up from the sofa, "Let's go out for dinner and just ignore him! We’ve been running around up until now and didn’t even fucking eat!"
Shao Qun didn't notice when the two of them left.
He felt a throbbing pain in his heart, thinking of Li Chengxiu's back and how he didn’t even turn his head to look at him. Shao Qun felt that he couldn't just sit there anymore - he needed to find him immediately. He couldn’t admit it even to himself how much he really missed that man. He was Shao Qun after all. He never lacked people to warm his bed, wait on him and cook for him. He just couldn’t deal with Li Chengxiu being with somebody else. Absolutely not.
He's just... He's just used to Li Chengxiu. He just misses his kindness. He just misses the time he spent with him. He just feels guilty about what happened that night. It doesn't mean that he has any kind of feelings towards him.
He just can't bear that Li Chengxiu doesn't belong to him.
After a long silence, Shao Qun picked up his phone and called the person in charge of tailing Li Shuo.
"Hello, boss."
"Well, still keeping an eye on him?"
"Boss, I'm next to Li Shuo's house right now. He hasn’t come back yet. I've been watching for more than four hours, and the lights in the room are still off."
Shao Qun's heart suddenly jumped to his throat, and he asked hoarsely, "What did you say?"
Didn't come back?
Li Shuo left together with Li Chengxiu and didn't come home after eleven o'clock at night. It was obvious whom he was with.
"Li Shuo really didn't come home. They took a taxi at that square in the afternoon, and that’s when I lost track of them. So I could only guard his home afterwards. But he hasn't come back until now."
Shao Qun felt his chest tighten suddenly, making him unable to breathe.
Li Shuo didn't come home.
Li Shuo didn't come home.
He didn't come home.
He was with Li Chengxiu. It was already so late. Was he staying over? What will they do? They will...
After Shao Qun hung up the phone, he roared and kicked the coffee table far across the room.
He felt that his body was in turmoil - all the organs were being twisted and squeezed. The pain made it difficult for him to breathe, and he couldn't do anything to help himself at all.
The dimly lit room was empty and silent.
He never realized how big this house was before. But since Li Chengxiu left, it felt so empty that it made him irritated to no end, and this beautiful villa had lost all its charm.
That person who should have been going about his day in this room, the person Shao Qun could hold for warmth, the person who gave him tenderness with abandon…Now this person might be in the arms of another man.
He wondered where they were right now and if Li Chengxiu was acting with that man the same way he did with him. Did he dispel the winter cold for him with his smiles and hugs? Did he cook that man a nourishing soup? Was he obediently lying in his arms? Was he whispering to that man, until he unconsciously fell asleep?
All of these things were originally only his. Why would Li Chengxiu give them to someone else?
What did Shao Qun do to make Li Chengxiu go to another man?
Shao Qun slumped down on the sofa, tightly hugging his head.
He had never cared so much about another person before. He longed for him so strongly that he couldn’t fall asleep. But that person wasn’t there anymore.
How could he admit that he had actually fallen in love? How could he admit that he was repenting? How could he admit that he didn’t even want to get married? Li Chengxiu was already with somebody else. What was the point of admitting all of that?
He tremblingly redialed the previous number and wearily said to the man on the other end, "Keep watching and find out where Li Chengxiu lives as soon as possible."
Facing this empty big house alone, for the first time in his life Shao Qun realized that loneliness and regret could also turn into knives that were capable of bloodlessly wounding him from the inside out.
The New Year’s Eve had finally arrived with great fanfare.
Only during the Chinese New Year was this city with a sizable out-of-town demographic so extraordinarily quiet and serene.
In the afternoon, there were very few cars and pedestrians on the road, and most of the shops were closed. As long as one had a home, who wouldn’t want to have a warm reunion with their family to say goodbye to the old year and welcome the new year together?
Adrian arrived at Li Chengxiu's house before lunch and when he entered the door, he shouted that he wanted to stay over from today until the 3rd day of New Year’s celebrations.
Li Shuo had already arrived early in the morning in order to help with the preparations.
Even though it was just the three of them celebrating New Year's Eve together, the dinner couldn’t be sloppy by any means.
Li Shuo had a lot of fun assisting Li Chengxiu - a professional chef. He couldn’t stop praising and complimenting him, as Li Chengxiu just shyly smiled.
When Adrian came into the room, he immediately sat down on the sofa with a bucket of pistachios and started watching TV without any intention to help out.
While eating, he muttered: "Oh, Xiuxiu, you’ve changed the sofa! This one is more comfortable. You two really have a sweet life here!"
Li Chengxiu poured him a glass of water and explained, "This is Li-Dage’s house. He wanted to change..."
Adrian smiled cheekily, "Oh, as if he didn’t change it for you."
Li Shuo came over and said with a grin: "I actually changed it for you, so you can comfortably watch TV, eat snacks, look at us being busy and not lift a finger.”
Adrian smiled shamelessly: "Li-Gege[15], look!" He handed his white jade-like hand to Li Shuo, "I just got my nails done, and it was expensive. How can you let me work like that?"
Li Shuo swatted his hand away: "Since you’re not helping, how about you just eat quietly? Aren’t you tired running your mouth all day?"
Adrian winked at Li Chengxiu: "Xiuxiu doesn't mind. Xiuxiu is better than you."
Li Chengxiu guffawed and reminded him, "Eat slowly. This is dry…you should drink water."
Adrian jumped up from the sofa, hugged Li Chengxiu and kissed him, shouting, "I love you to death! Now hurry up and make me crab fried rice cake! And I want it to be spicy…”
As far as Li Chengxiu could remember, since his father abandoned him and his mother died, he hadn’t had a single decent New Year’s.
As a child, he would secretly cry when he saw other people's houses decorated with colorful lights. But later he became apathetic.
After so many years, when he was almost thirty, he finally had two new friends to accompany him on New Year’s Eve. The gratitude and joy in his heart could not be described in words.
So Li Chengxiu put a lot of thought into every dish of this New Year's Eve dinner. He had no other skills, so he could only use this to express his gratitude.
The table was full of delicious mouthwatering food, full of color and aroma.
Adrian jumped to the table like a happy monkey, his eyes glowing with excitement.
Li Chengxiu lived on a relatively top floor. The sound of fireworks would burst into the apartment through the floor-to-ceiling windows. From time to time, bright sparks illuminated the night sky.The rich festive atmosphere lit up the mood of all three of them and put cheerful smiles on their faces.
They sat around the table and enjoyed the food that Li Chengxiu had carefully prepared. Li Shuo and Adrian were both full of praise.
During the meal, Adrian couldn't help but talk out of his ass: "Xiuxiu, I regret introducing you to Li Shuo! I should have kept you for myself. For real, I can afford to support you too. And because of your superior cooking skills, my life could be prolonged by 20 years!"
Li Shuo laughed and hit his head with chopsticks: "Eat your food!"
Adrian ignored him and put his face right in front of Li Chengxiu's eyes: "I'm serious! Be with me, be with me, be with me! I will definitely treat you well."
Li Chengxiu has long been accustomed to his jokes and occasional insanity, so he gently smiled and casually replied, "Mhm."
Throughout the meal, the three of them were laughing and joking in a peaceful and joyful atmosphere.
After dinner, Li Shuo helped Li Chengxiu clean up the kitchen. Then he and Adrian retreated to the sofa to watch the Spring Festival Gala. Adrian immediately started commenting on what was going on the screen, criticizing that this or that was stupid.
Li Chengxiu moved two chairs next to the sofa. One he used for sitting, and the other one to place a bowl with dough. He was preparing dumplings, while chatting and watching TV.
Little Teacup had also had enough food and drink and was sleeping on Li Chengxiu’s lap, from time to time wiping its mouth with its tiny paws, which was incredibly cute.
Li Chengxiu remembered that his family was just like this when he was a child.
After the New Year's Eve dinner, he and his father would watch the Spring Festival Gala, and his mother would sit next to them, kneading the dough and chatting with them. The simple happiness of that time was hard to recreate.
Li Chengxiu felt that this was a New Year that he would never forget.
Shao Qun felt the same way, but this was undoubtedly the worst New Year’s in his life.
Reading descriptions of Shao Qun’s “suffering”
Whenever Adrian appears in the narrative
Chapter 47
While Li Chengxiu and the others were celebrating New Year’s at the apartment, Shao Qun was sitting alone in his car and staring into their brightly lit floor-to-ceiling windows in a daze.
On New Year's Eve he had a quarrel with his family, so he turned off his phone and didn't want to fucking contact anyone anymore.
Li Wenxun and Big Li went home early for the Chinese New Year. For the first time in his adult life he was facing New Year’s completely alone. In the past, he would always receive a lot of seasonal greetings at this time.
After the guy who tailed Li Shuo finally found out where Li Chengxiu lived, Shao Qun headed there immediately to sit in front of the house almost all day without eating or drinking.
He didn't want anything else, other than just to be closer to Li Chengxiu.
Today, he didn't want to go up and cause any trouble. First, he was a little afraid to see Li Chengxiu and Li Shuo being close to each other and happy together. Second, he felt that if he didn't let Li Chengxiu at least have a peaceful New Year’s Eve, he would resist him even more in the future.
He looked into the floor-to-ceiling windows, illuminated by bright yellow lights and imagined what Li Chengxiu might be doing inside.
Was he wearing an apron, while preparing his exquisite dishes in the kitchen?
Was he laughing at silly sketches on TV?
There was nothing that Shao Qun wanted more than spending a nice New Year’s with Li Chengxiu.
He knew that he was obsessed[16].
Since Li Chengxiu left, he couldn't eat anything made by other cooks. He couldn’t get interested in any other boy, no matter how beautiful he was. At night, lying in his big cold bed, he finally experienced what sleepless lonely nights[17] really meant. His obsession with this person scared him to no end and made alarm bells ring in his heart, but he couldn't control it anymore.
Shao Qun knew now that he really liked Li Chengxiu. If it was someone else who had left him for another person, he would have just told them to fuck off. But in the case of Li Chengxiu, Shao Qun still wanted to get him back. Even if he had to forcefully erase his own memories, he still wouldn’t let Li Chengxiu go.
The sound of fireworks and firecrackers outside his car seemed to have no end. The sky was constantly lighting up, and the celebrations were coming to their high point as the hand on the clock was approaching 12.
The floor-to-ceiling window that Shao Qun was staring at suddenly opened. His heart trembled, as his eyes locked up on the fifth floor balcony.
Li Chengxiu came out with a fireworks stick in his hand, chatting and laughing together with Adrian.
Shao Qun was a little surprised to see Adrian beside Li Chengxiu, but he had no time to think about it. His whole mind was just on Li Chengxiu.
Adrian was jumping around Li Chengxiu with his fireworks stick like a child. He then finally lit it up and raised it to the sky, screaming with excitement.
Li Chengxiu was also holding one in his hand and peacefully smiling.
As if enchanted, Shao Qun couldn’t take his eyes off him.
He was only thirty or forty meters away, but he might as well have been up on a high mountain.
After a while, Adrian turned around and got back inside. When a tall figure came out on the balcony, Shao Qun's expression immediately changed.
Li Shuo approached Li Chengxiu while laughing: "That idiot Adrian got sparks onto his sweater!"
Li Chengxiu giggled, "He didn't burn anything, right?"
"Don't worry, no." Li Shuo gently stood behind him and couldn't help hugging his waist, as he rested his chin on his shoulder.
Li Chengxiu's body became a little stiff: "Li-Dage..."
Li Shuo softly said, "Chengxiu, Happy New Year!"
"Happy New Year."
"Chengxiu, in the new year, could we make some progress? I want to take care of you, so can you offer me a place in your heart?"
Li Chengxiu froze for a moment, his eyes felt slightly warm.
"Chengxiu, a lot of people have experienced failed relationships. But all of us have to get back on our feet at some point and move on to find the right person. Leave your past behind and give me a chance, okay?"
Li Chengxiu was full of doubts and uncertainties, but he couldn't think of a reason to reject Li Shuo.
He was a good man, a man worthy of his respect. He fell in love with the wrong person, and now the Heavens were giving him another chance to not end up alone in the future. Was there any reason for him to say no?
Li Chengxiu wanted someone to accompany him, and he didn't want to die alone. Li Shuo respected him, took care of him and was very helpful. This relationship seemed to be evolving very naturally. He should completely forget Shao Qun and pour his whole heart and soul into this person now.
Li Shuo gently rubbed his cheek against Li Chengxiu's neck and asked softly, "Chengxiu, is that okay with you?"
Li Chengxiu's chest was sore. He closed his eyes and nodded slowly: "Yes."
Li Shuo smiled happily, put his face right next to Li Chengxiu and raised his chin.
Li Chengxiu was a little uncomfortable, but he still turned around and intimately kissed Li Shuo under the gorgeous night sky filled with bright fireworks.
The kiss didn't last long, because Adrian came out on the balcony again and started jumping around them. All three of them quickly got back inside.
Shao Qun was sitting in the car, stiffly watching this scene. Although the heating was turned on to 27°C ~ 28°C [18] , he still felt cold all over. The pain in his heart exceeded any limit, and he felt that he was about to stop breathing.
This Li guy had taken his place. Li Chengxiu was so affectionate with him, while Shao Qun was left alone peeping through the window on the night of Chinese New Year. Worst of all, he didn’t know who to hate and who to blame for this.
Shao Qun tremblingly took out his phone from his pocket, turned it on and called his assistant.
There was a lot of noise on the other end - firecrackers and sounds from the TV: "Hello, Mr. Shao! Happy New Year!"
Shao Qun said in a dull voice, "How's that matter I asked you to check going?”
"Hello? Mr. Shao? Happy New Year?"
Shao Qun impatiently raised his voice: "Find a quiet place to talk!"
The person on the other end seemed to have entered a room, and it got much quieter: "Mr. Shao..."
"What's with that thing I asked you to check?"
"I checked all Li Shuo's company projects of the past few years. I found that there was something fishy about a bankruptcy case of a real estate company the previous year."
"Tell me."
“This real estate company in question mortgaged a piece of land to Bank X back then. The government took the land back without any remuneration because it had not been developed for more than a year. The reason why the land was not developed was because the land was involved in some property rights issues. Bank X actually never got the land certificate. It is rumored that at the time the president of Bank X had a personal relationship with the boss of that real estate company. He knew that there was a problem with the land but he still financed the loan. The connection between them was facilitated by Li Shuo. Li Shuo’s firm was handling all the accounts of this real estate company. And before they filed for bankruptcy, they received loans for more than 1 billion RMB from two other banks. After filing for bankruptcy, due to the large amount of money involved, the Financial Services Office also intervened in the matter. However, no evidence was ever found against Li Shuo."[19]
"What’s your opinion on this?"
"Li Shuo is extremely smart. Even if he did create fake accounts, he did it flawlessly. Based on the information I have, I really can't do anything. Unless, of course, I can locate the owner of that real estate company."
"Is it possible to find him?"
"It's hard. Who knows where he’s hiding from his creditors? Nobody has heard of him in several years. If we can find this guy, we can get rid of Li Shuo in one fell swoop.”
"Keep looking for him and continue collecting evidence. Even if there is nothing concrete, it will at least make him restless. As long as there’s probable cause, we can make someone start an investigation. And once they are done with him, no matter the outcome, he will be ruined together with his company,” said Shao Qun, gritting his teeth.
Assistant Zhou pondered for a while: "It will take a lot of effort and connections..." He actually wanted to ask whether some petty jealousy was even worth all the fuss. But since Shao Qun was paying his salary, he couldn’t really say anything. Still, he felt some disdain.
Shao Qun wasn’t even listening anymore: "Xiao Zhou, call Wang Jiang and the others now! I'll send you the address."
"Ah? What?"
"I can't fucking stand it anymore. I have to take Li Chengxiu away today."
"Huh?" Assistant Zhou hesitated, "Mr. Shao, it's already one a.m...."
"No kidding! So do you want me to wait for them to wake up?”
"But… It’s New Year's Eve. Who would be willing to come out now?"
"Where there’s money, there’s a way. Make it happen. I give you forty minutes." Shao Qun decisively hung up the phone, gloomily looking at the still lit floor-to-ceiling windows. He impatiently tapped his fingers on the steering wheel.
Apart from the tapping sound, the car was completely quiet. So much so that one could hear Shao Qun’s watch ticking. He couldn't wait to rush into that house and snatch Li Chengxiu back.
He didn’t care about his means anymore. In his bones Shao Qun was a scoundrel after all. He was going to use all the tricks in the book. So what if Li Chengxiu became more resistant? Anything was better than watching Li Chengxiu fall in love with someone else.
He wanted Li Shuo, this phony foreign devil, to never see Li Chengxiu ever again! He wanted him to actually never come back to China again!
And he also wanted to make Li Chengxiu unable to escape his grip ever again.
Assistant Zhou's work efficiency was really astonishing. In less than half an hour he managed to deliver three sturdy and professionally trained men to the requested address.
Shao Qun led them all upstairs and rang the doorbell.
Li Shuo called from inside: "Who is it?"
Assistant Zhou responded in a low voice, "Hello, I’m your neighbor."
Li Shuo wasn’t suspicious at all and directly opened the door.
The men quickly rushed in, grabbed Li Shuo by his shoulders and directly punched him in the stomach.
Li Shuo was unprepared - he ended up being beaten to the point of collapsing on the ground, bent in half and retching from pain.
Li Chengxiu and Adrian, who were sitting at the table and playing poker at the time, were both shocked and dumbfounded, as they watched everything unfold in less than a few seconds.
The three hired people were actually retired soldiers from the army. They worked as security guards in the nightclub Shao Qun was running. How could Li Shuo oppose someone with such a background, not to mention that all the three of them attacked him at the same time and delivered their blows quickly and efficiently?
He didn't even manage to react at all, when his arms were twisted, and he himself was pressed down to the ground. He was dizzy and couldn’t recover for a long while.
Shao Qun felt vindicated for the time when he was held down by Li Shuo’s guards and beaten by him in his office. He gave Li Shuo a fierce look, and then his cold eyes glanced at Li Chengxiu.
After the initial shock had passed, Li Chengxiu screamed "Li-Dage!" and ran towards Li Shuo.
Shao Qun stepped in front of him, grabbed Li Chengxiu’s arm and gritted his teeth: "You only have eyes for your fucking Li-Ge! Don't you see me at all? Did you even look at me now? Are you looking at me?"
Why don't you look at me? In the past, there was only me in your eyes!
Li Chengxiu looked at him with a sad and indignant face: "Shao Qun, you're an asshole. Let go of me."
Seeing Li Shuo's body pressed to the ground with a knee on his back, Li Chengxiu felt guilty and distressed. There was panic in his eyes.
What other horrible things can someone like Shao Qun do? How much does he want to hurt him to finally be satisfied?
Shao Qun laughed angrily: "Yes, I'm an asshole. Did you just figure it out? You think you can have a bright shiny future with your Li-Ge? Dream on. I haven’t told you that I don’t want you anymore, so you can’t be with anybody else!"
Li Chengxiu raised his hand to hit him, but Shao Qun immediately grabbed his other hand and then secured both of his hands behind his back. He then pushed Li Chengxiu towards one of the burly men: "Get him to the car."
The man covered Li Chengxiu's mouth and, disregarding his screaming and kicking, easily carried him out.
Adrian was more bark and less bite. Apart from being good with his words, his practical physical ability was almost non-existent[20]. Not to mention that he had never encountered such a situation before.
But seeing that Li Chengxiu was about to be kidnapped, he couldn't just sit and watch.
He quickly rushed up: “Shao Qun, don't be a jerk! Hurry up and let him go. Have you completely lost your mind?"
Shao Qun glared at him coldly: "Adrian, what role are you playing here?"
Adrian was stunned for a moment and then said angrily, "It's none of your damn business! Let him and Li Shuo go!"
Shao Qun approached him with a few steps and towered over him, threatening, "How can you meddle in other people's business when you haven't even dealt with your own family affairs properly? Your little nephew is looking all over the world for you. Do you want to be reunited with him?[21]"
Adrian's face instantly paled, and he stared at Shao Qun with panic and resentment.
Shao Qun pushed him away, pointed at his nose and said, "Don't fucking come between me and Li Chengxiu! You've been hiding out here for so long, but I need to make just one phone call..."
Adrian subconsciously put his hands behind his back, and a pained look surfaced on his face. He gritted his teeth and said, "You should at least let Li Shuo go."
Shao Qun smiled coldly and waved at the person who was pressing Li Shuo down.
The man got his knee off Li Shuo’s back, and Li Shuo tried his best to get up from the ground. However, his chest and his back were hurting badly, and his hands and feet were too weak.
Adrian rushed up and helped him stand.
Shao Qun's eyes were vicious: "Li, listen carefully. Chengxiu is mine. Don’t touch things that don’t belong to you. If you go against me, you will regret it."
Li Shuo covered his stomach, wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth and said with a look of disgust on his face, "Shao Qun, you really are a savage animal! All you’ve accomplished now is make Chengxiu hate you even more."
These words directly hit Shao Qun's sore spot. His eyes were red as he said: "He can hate me to death but I will not give him to anybody else."
Li Shuo was furious and exasperated. What a great beginning of the new year! Li Chengxiu was now kidnapped by Shao Qun, and if Shao Qun wanted to hide him somewhere, it won’t be easy to locate him again. He could have never imagined that Shao Qun would go so far as to openly snatch Li Chengxiu up like some kind of gangster.
Li Shuo said in a chilly voice: "Shao Qun, you will regret it."
With a disdainful face, Shao Qun coldly and proudly declared, "You will never see him again."
He then turned around and headed downstairs. Shao Qun couldn't wait to rush to his car.
When the man who had Li Chengxiu in his grip saw Shao Qun coming out of the house, he got out of the car, closed the door and went around to take the driver's seat.
Shao Qun quickly got into the back seat and hugged the horrified and furious Li Chengxiu, sniffing the familiar smell of his body. Shao Qun’s eyes felt hot, and he couldn't help calling out to him: "Chengxiu..."
We all know who deserves this one.
Chapter 48
Li Chengxiu's body was shaking. He knew that he couldn't fight against Shao Qun, yet he was still pushing him away as hard as he could, because Shao Qun's touch made his hair stand on end. In an enclosed space with nowhere to go he had to face the person he wanted to avoid the most.
Shao Qun hugged him tightly.
The feeling of this long-awaited hug was both familiar and unfamiliar. The man in his arms seemed thinner than before, and Shao Qun even felt a little pained when he tightly wrapped his arms around him and felt the protruding shoulder blades.
Shao Qun wondered why touching such a thin, cowardly man who could cry easily, made him feel so comfortable and peaceful. Even feeling Li Chengxiu’s temperature against his own skin was enough to warm him up, and it seemed that his frozen body was gradually thawing.
So was his heart… and it felt sore and painful.
Shao Qun was in a daze, holding Li Chengxiu in his arms, when he felt a sudden pain in his shoulder.
Li Chengxiu's eyes were wet, as he was biting Shao Qun’s shoulder as hard as he could.
Shao Qun gritted his teeth: "Go on, bite. But biting a fucking shoulder won’t do you any good. Do you have the guts to bite here?" Shao Qun raised his neck, exposing the major artery to his sight.
Li Chengxiu released Shao Qun’s shoulder and said in a trembling voice, "Let me go. I want to go home."
The car had already started long ago. Li Chengxiu didn't know where Shao Qun was taking him, but no matter where it was, as long as Shao Qun was there, Li Chengxiu didn't want to go.
Shao Qun clenched his teeth and said, "You want to go home? Which home do you mean? Do you think that the place Li Shuo gave you is your home? Then why didn’t you want the apartment that I gave to you? Is his place made of gold or something?”
Li Chengxiu put his hands against Shao Qun's chest and pushed him away.
He was afraid of Shao Qun - the brute force of his hands, the aggressive smell of his body, his fierce expression. All of it made him really scared.
Li Chengxiu was trembling with fear, as he cowered in the corner, choked and said, "I want to go home."
Shao Qun felt a pain in his heart, and all he wanted was to hold Li Chengxiu’s face and kiss him.
He didn't know what to do. Shao Qun had never dealt with somebody like that before. Somebody who didn't know how to protect himself, somebody who didn’t know how to resist, somebody who didn’t know how to fight back. Li Chengxiu's words and actions made Shao Qun really uncomfortable, so he could only try to cover his mouth with his lips.
Li Chengxiu turned his face away and twisted his neck to the greatest extent possible.
Shao Qun grabbed his chin and continued chasing his lips. Li Chengxiu frantically struggled: "Asshole, asshole!"
Didn’t the atrocities of that night also start with a rough kiss? He didn't remember, and he didn't want to remember. The humiliating pain, the embarrassment and then the despair of lying in the hospital was like a nightmare. Just a little reminder caused all the bloody memories to flood his mind.
The more he resisted, the more insistent Shao Qun was.
"No! No! Shao Qun, let me go! Don't… Ah—" Li Chengxiu suddenly screamed so loudly that it frightened the driver who couldn’t help but turn around.
Shao Qun was stunned. He desperately hugged Li Chengxiu, trying to calm him down.
Li Chengxiu cried and curled up: "Don't touch... Don't touch me!!! Shao Qun… you are…an asshole! Don't touch me..."
Shao Qun felt as if his heart had been stabbed several times. He sharply roared: "Why are you afraid of me? Why the fuck are you afraid of me? Even Li Shuo can touch you, why can't I? Why the fuck can't I?"
Li Chengxiu raised her face that was covered in sweat and tears. He then hoarsely said, "You are an asshole."
Shao Qun grabbed Li Chengxiu's chin and kissed him fiercely.
The space in the car was too small, and Shao Qun couldn't get a hold of Li Chengxiu for a while. He was hit several times in the head, and it made him so angry he was about to explode. He finally managed to twist Li Chengxiu's arm behind his back like he would do to a fighting opponent. All of that just to get a kiss.
When their lips touched, Li Chengxiu bit down hard.
Shao Qun was in pain for a while, but instead of retreating, he desperately continued his attack, desperately pushing at his lips and squeezing them, as the taste of blood gradually filled his mouth.
Li Chengxiu’s and Li Shuo's affectionate kisses appeared over and over again in Shao Qun's mind, and he felt that it was driving him crazy.
Li Chengxiu closed his eyes in pain. He was pinned to the backrest by Shao Qun who was kissing him so hard that he couldn’t breathe, and his heart couldn’t stop feeling sad.
Shao Qun let go of Li Chengxiu, panting heavily and looking at his tear-stained face. Suddenly he couldn't even get angry. He only felt sad.
Was this person in front of him the same one who used to kiss him with a shy and tender look?
He no longer smiled at him. His eyes no longer held any warmth or affection. Did he still love him? Could everything be restored again?
Shao Qun felt scared. What should he do if they could not be like before?
Li Chengxiu buried his face in his hands and didn’t lift it up anymore.
Shao Qun still stubbornly held him in his arms. But he felt that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't hold him at all. It seemed that Li Chengxiu might disappear at any moment. Shao Qun also couldn’t let go of him, afraid that then he himself would go under.
The car quickly arrived at the destination. It was a place that Li Chengxiu had never been to before.
Just as Shao Qun was about to carry him out of the car, Li Chengxiu avoided his arms and slowly stumbled out of the car by himself.
Shao Qun coldly pulled him into the room and slammed the door shut. The sound of the lock seemed like a nail driven right into Li Chengxiu’s heart.
He was still wearing his house slippers when Shao Qun brought him to this weird place. He didn't know what was awaiting him. Although he was afraid, he had no choice but to face it all alone, yet again.
Shao Qun wiped his face, and his hand felt heavier than a thousand pounds. After hesitating for a while, he finally calmed the turbulent emotions in his chest, clenched his teeth and asked: "You…Have you slept with him?"
Li Chengxiu's face was woeful, as he gave Shao Qun a blank look.
Shao Qun felt that his heart was about to jump out.
He was fervently praying that Li Chengxiu would deny it.
In Shao Qun’s heart, Li Chengxiu was as clean as a clear spring. He was the most pure and the most beautiful thing he had ever owned. Li Chengxiu was his private possession, and Shao Qun couldn't imagine him being invaded by another man. It would be the same as somebody raping his wife. Just thinking about it drove Shao Qun insane.
Shao Qun’s face was miserable, as he hoarsely asked again, "Tell me, have you or have you not. You haven’t, right?"
Li Chengxiu's expression changed, he suddenly opened his mouth and whispered, "I have."
It seemed that at that moment Shao Qun was struck by lightning, and his eyes instantly turned red. He grabbed Li Chengxiu by the throat and slammed him against the wall. His face was distorted, as he coldly said, "Say it again."
Li Chengxiu's eyes were filled with fear, but he still said in a trembling voice: "I have."
Shao Qun rubbed his temples with his fingertips and said shakily, "He… he forced you, didn't he?"
Li Chengxiu looked at him mournfully with some accusation in his eyes: "He isn’t you."
He isn’t you.
He isn’t you.
Shao Qun's pupils contracted sharply, and he slowly released his hold on Li Chengxiu’s throat. However, almost immediately his hard fist appeared in front of Li Chengxiu.
Li Chengxiu closed his eyes.
The expected pain didn’t come. But a loud noise exploded in his ears.
Li Chengxiu turned his face to the side and saw Shao Qun's fist hitting the wall. It was now stained by the blood oozing from his knuckles.
Shao Qun was raising his fist and punching the hard wall over and over again. It was akin to self-harm - by punching the wall and hurting himself physically he could at least transfer some pain.
When he was a child, a professional trainer taught him a lot of self-defense techniques. He knew exactly where to attack and how to defend, but no one ever told him what he was supposed to do if someone broke his heart.
He has never been in love in his life. Love… ah… love. What could Shao Qun know about it? He had finally found someone whom he wanted to be together with peacefully. And he managed to drive him into the arms of another man.
This was the person whom he cared about the most when he was growing up. But neither back then, nor at this moment did Shao Qun realize that this anguish that was deeply engraved in his bones was something called “love”.
When Shao Qun heard other people go on about who was in love with whom, he always dismissed these talks, thinking that such a dumb thing didn’t have anything to do with him. Until the time he met Li Chengxiu. Shao Qun was really moved by him and in his own way gradually tried to be good to him. He seriously thought about staying with Li Chengxiu for a long time.
If this was love, then shouldn't Shao Qun be allowed to make mistakes? He had no experience, after all. That’s why he made a mess, that’s why he screwed things up. Wasn’t it possible to start over? Li Chengxiu couldn’t just turn around and leave, letting him fall so hard first and then throwing a giant boulder on top of him!
Li Chengxiu looked at the scarlet blood on the wall, and it pained his heart. He wanted to stop Shao Qun several times, but no matter what, he just couldn't open his mouth. He could only close his eyes and hold his breath. He was afraid that if he didn’t tense up, he would collapse on the spot.
Shao Qun didn't know how long he spent punching the wall. He only stopped when his fist was so bloody and beaten up that it couldn’t move anymore.
Li Chengxiu's tears ran down his cheeks, but he didn't dare to open his eyes.
After a while, he heard the sound of a door closing.
He opened his eyes again, and saw that he was left all alone in a huge house.
Right next to his face there was a wild blood spatter, which looked terrifying.
Li Chengxiu slumped down on the ground, hugged his knees and cried in pain.
Most of the night afterwards was spent rummaging through every corner of the room. Unfortunately, Li Chengxiu couldn’t locate the spare key. Shao Qun had locked him inside.
He couldn't go out, couldn't make a phone call, and couldn't even cry for help, since he was somewhere high up.
He ran around until it was almost dawn. He couldn’t help but succumb to the fatigue, so he finally fell asleep on the sofa.
He felt so cold that he shivered all over but he couldn’t wake up. This feeling tormented him for a long time, until something was wrapped around his body, and a pair of warm and strong hands held him, allowing him to finally sleep peacefully.
Li Chengxiu didn’t sleep for too long.
The blindingly bright early morning sun was shining directly into the living room. Li Chengxiu woke up in confusion and found that he had an extra hand in front of him.
Immediately alert, Li Chengxiu slightly propped himself up and noticed that he was covered with a blanket, while Shao Qun was holding him in his arms. His hand was on Li Chengxiu’s shoulder in a defensive gesture.
At that moment, Shao Qun also slowly opened his eyes. When Li Chengxiu got up, he was still sitting on the sofa, since his legs were too numb to move.
Shao Qun just wanted to reach out to touch Li Chengxiu, but Li Chengxiu had already jumped off the sofa and rushed up to the door in a few big strides. He then pulled the door handle as hard as he could. After realizing that the door was still locked, he lowered his head in despair.
Shao Qun stood up reluctantly, staggered towards Li Chengxiu and hugged him from behind.
Only then did Li Chengxiu realize that he reeked of alcohol.
Shao Qun's voice was so hoarse that it seemed like it was an entirely different person talking. He muttered in a faintly pleading tone: "Chengxiu, I'm not getting married. You couldn’t accept the marriage... And I'm not getting married anymore. Let's get back together, okay? Let’s make up!"
How could Li Chengxiu believe any word coming out of Shao Qun’s mouth ever again? Hearing this, he felt like he was slapped. It was painful and embarrassing.
He couldn’t forget what Shao Qun told him that night.
What would Shao Qun want with a man who couldn’t give him a child? This was obviously just another lie.
Li Chengxiu broke free from his arms, turned around to face him and pressed his back against the door: "Let me go."
A cold light erupted in Shao Qun's eyes. He placed his hands on both sides of Li Chengxiu's face and said in a deep voice: "I won't let you go. Do you think I will let you return to Li Shuo? I don’t want you to ever see him again. You can only be with me. Only me."
Li Chengxiu was frightened by the madness and obsession in Shao Qun's eyes, and he felt cold again.
He had long known that Shao Qun's behavior was very different from that of normal people. He always did unexpected and bold things, but Li Chengxiu really didn't expect that Shao Qun would actually be insane enough to lock him up.
Even the anger and sadness in Li Chengxiu's heart were nearly gone.
If Shao Qun had even a trace of respect towards him as a human being, how would he be able to do something like this to him?
Shao Qun looked at Li Chengxiu somewhat lost in thought, raised his hand that was wrapped in layers of gauze to his eyes and gently touched his hair: "Won’t it be nice to return to the way we were? I promise I will be good to you. I will give you whatever you want, Chengxiu. Can you still treat me like before?"
Li Chengxiu's eyes were cold, and his heart was also completely cold.
Shao Qun was suddenly flustered: "No. Not like before. I'll find a housekeeper. You won’t have to do any housework anymore. But can you still cook for me? I’d like to eat your food… You won’t have to cook every day..."
Shao Qun couldn't go on, because at that point Li Chengxiu's eyes were like hot knives, stabbing him painfully all over.
Li Chengxiu in his memory was such a gentle person. He was never angry and never cared about winning or losing an argument. He had never seen such a look on his face and in his eyes. It was as if… It was as if Li Chengxiu had given up all hope in him.
Shao Qun wondered if he had done something wrong again.
But he had no choice. He couldn't watch Li Chengxiu and Li Shuo come together. He regretted not stabbing Li Shuo that day.
Apart from restricting Li Chengxiu's freedom, he actually had no other way to keep him around.
He planned to take Li Chengxiu back to Beijing with him once everything was settled here. It was his old nest after all. Even if he had to lock him up for the rest of his life, he wouldn’t let Li Chengxiu leave him.
Shao Qun didn't dare to think about his life without Li Chengxiu. He never imagined that one day, he could be attached to another person to such a crazy degree that he would only feel at ease when he had firmly imprisoned him by his side.
Chapter 49
Shao Qun did as he planned and just kept Li Chengxiu locked up.
He fantasized that one day they could go back to their old life.
Every morning when he gets up, there will be a hot breakfast that is different every day waiting for him. When he comes back from work in the evening, the food will be already served at the table, and Li Chengxiu will be waiting for him with a gentle smile.
In the days when Li Chengxiu had just left, Shao Qun relied on his memories over and over to comfort himself until that trick stopped working.
It was a pity that when Shao Qun was finally willing to compromise and bow his head, Li Chengxiu was unwilling to do anything for him anymore.
Shao Qun piled up the ingredients that were just delivered on the kitchen table and gave Li Chengxiu a long look. He was currently sitting by the window with his back turned towards him.
Shao Qun walked over, softly approached him and said in a negotiating, hopeful tone, "Chengxiu, cook for me. Today is the first day of the New Year..."
The first day of the year - what a great day! The first day of the New Year should be a day full of joy and expectations.
But this house was isolated from all the festivities.
Li Chengxiu didn't react at all, just continued staring out the window in a daze. In fact, there was nothing outside the window to look at. Besides, the floor-to-ceiling windows were fogged up anyway.
Shao Qun forcefully turned Li Chengxiu’s face towards himself.
"Chengxiu, get up and cook. I want to eat your food. I was thinking about it all the time that you were away."
Li Chengxiu turned his head, avoiding Shao Qun’s hand.
Shao Qun's gaze darkened, and he pinched Li Chengxiu’s sharp and thin jaw.
Li Chengxiu didn’t grow a lot of facial hair, so his chin felt much smoother than that of most other men. Shao Qun held it in his hand and felt that he could break it with just a little force.
This man was so humble, so small, so weak that it didn't even take much effort to manipulate him. Yet currently he had a firm grip on Shao Qun’s weaknesses, making him unable to act.
No matter how he thought about it, he couldn't get over the fact that he actually needed to stoop so low just to get this person to respond to him.
Shao Qun looked into his eyes and said seriously: "Chengxiu, I can forget everything about you and Li Shuo. And you should also forget all about what I said and what I did... Just forget it, okay? Let's start over."
Seeing that he didn't respond, Shao Qun continued urgently: "I will be nice to you. I won’t get married. I won’t have anyone else. I will only be nice to you, and I will only ever be with you, okay? Let's do it all over again, Chengxiu ......"
Li Chengxiu spoke indifferently, and in just one sentence Shao Qun was pushed into the abyss: "I can't forget it, and I don't believe you either."
He will never trust him again.
He believed him when he was a young and ignorant child. When he grew up, he believed him again, when he was momentarily confused. He believed him again and again… How could there be a third time?
The amount of times that Shao Qun had cheated him could make his heart bleed. And it was just the times that he knew about…
He was so stupid, he couldn’t see through Shao Qun’s lies, and he believed everything he was told. Shao Qun then played with him and treated him like a pet, while he sincerely believed that they were in love.
Li Chengxiu had experienced enough of the consequences of his own stupidity. So how could he continue being stupid?
He did not dare to believe any of Shao Qun's words again.
Shao Qun's heart twinged, and he looked at him reluctantly: "Li Chengxiu, what do you really want? I've never said such words to anyone in my fucking life before. What the hell do you want from me?"
"Let me go."
"Don't even think about it!" Shao Qun pushed Li Chengxiu down onto the sofa, fire burning in his eyes.
He couldn’t recognize Li Chengxiu like this anymore.
He was obviously so weak and timid, yet he suddenly showed this desperate stubbornness. Li Chengxiu's heart seemed to have been surrounded by a wall. Shao Qun tried his best to destroy it, but he repeatedly failed. He panicked, seeing that little by little he was losing this person. But there was nothing he could do about it.
Li Chengxiu teared up and trembled, "You want to…treat me that way again?"
Shao Qun was stunned for a while, remembering what he had done to Li Chengxiu in that cold and dark attic.
He was furious back then, and even though he regretted it in every possible way, he couldn't turn back time.
A look of shame flashed on his face. He pulled Li Chengxiu up into his arms and whispered, "I'm sorry, Chengxiu. I'm… I'm an asshole. I'm sorry for that day...... How about you hit me?"
Li Chengxiu just firmly pushed him away: "Let me go, Shao Qun."
Shao Qun really didn't expect that such a big strong man like him could be turned into such an idiot by a timid and gullible little sissy.
"Li Chengxiu, tell me, what do you want! What do you want from me? You fucking tell me what I should do, and I'll do it all. Can you stop tormenting me like this? Tell me what I’m doing wrong! I’ll change everything. I’ll fucking change everything."
What the hell should he do so they can go back?
Li Chengxiu closed his eyes tiredly: "What are you trying to achieve with all of this?"
"I just want us to be the same as we were before." Shao Qun squatted in front of him, hugging Li Chengxiu’s waist, "Wasn’t it good between us? You said you liked me, didn't you? I..." Shao Qun blushed slightly, "I like you too. So let's start over. I won't be a jerk anymore, I will treat you as my wife! Let's have a good life together, okay?" Shao Qun's eyes were so bright, sparkling with a rare shyness and naivety.
Li Chengxiu didn't react at all. He just looked at him blankly and then shook his head: "You don't like me. From the very beginning, everything was a lie."
Shao Qun's heart tightened and he quickly said, "I won't lie to you again in the future! I will treat you well. And I will never have anyone else. Chengxiu, please believe me."
Li Chengxiu wearily shook his head.
For a long time, Li Chengxiu was satisfied with the luxury of Shao Qun treating him with one tenth of sincerity that he himself gave to Shao Qun. Later, he no longer dared to hope for anything. So no matter whether what Shao Qun said was true or not, Li Chengxiu was not going to believe it. Because he didn't even want anything anymore.
Li Chengxiu's looked down in silent refusal.
Shao Qun felt exhausted. He wiped his face, unsteadily got up to his feet, took out his mobile phone and made a call.
After a while, someone came up and served them a hot meal. It was carefully placed right on the table together with exquisite dishware and cutlery.
Shao Qun pulled Li Chengxiu to the table and put the chopsticks into his hand: "Chengxiu, eat something."
Li Chengxiu lowered his head, but could barely swallow anything after the first two mouthfuls.
It's not that he wasn't hungry, but even this delicious-looking food tasted like wax to him, so he just couldn't eat it.
The atmosphere between the two of them was so cold that it chilled the room.
Li Chengxiu refused to take the initiative to say a word. He didn’t even look at Shao Qun, sitting there in a daze, just like a zombie.
Shao Qun was heartbroken, thinking how in just two months the sweet warmth between him and Li Chengxiu had turned into this cold silence.
When it was time to go to sleep at night, Li Chengxiu was even more reluctant to move.
He didn’t know whether it was intentional or not, but only one of the four bedrooms in the house was tidied up and prepared.
When Li Chengxiu saw the bed, his expression immediately changed, and he refused to enter the bedroom.
After gentle coaxing and persuasion turned out ineffective, Shao Qun got angry, picked Li Chengxiu up and threw him on the bed.
Li Chengxiu struggled to get up, but Shao Qun immediately pressed him down under the weight of his body.
Li Chengxiu panicked and gave Shao Qun almost a hateful look.
Shao Qun couldn't help covering Li Chengxiu’s eyes with his hands.
He gritted his teeth and, enduring insufferable heartache, said: "Don't fucking look at me like that. Can’t you see that there’s only one bed here? We…we'll just lie together. I won't force you."
Li Chengxiu bit his lip, as his shoulders trembled uncontrollably.
Shao Qun carefully hugged him from behind and whispered into his ear: "Don't move. If you move, don’t blame me for not keeping my word. I just want to hug you, nothing else."
Li Chengxiu weighed his options and finally decided to just stay still.
Shao Qun breathed a sigh of relief, and his slender and powerful arms tightly hugged Li Chengxiu. He didn't dare to look at Li Chengxiu's face. He let him lie with his back towards him, rubbing the tip of his nose against his hair and smelling the warm smell of his body.
Shao Qun said very softly and gently: "Chengxiu, I miss you.
Li Chengxiu’s heart was in pain, and he remained silent.
Shao Qun gently kissed the fuzz on his neck: "Just stay with me. Don’t think about leaving again. I will treat you well. I can spoil you to death and give you the best things you could ever want or think of as long as you stay with me."
Shao Qun tightened his arms. It turned out that holding Li Chengxiu could be just as satisfying as holding the whole world.
"Chengxiu, don't leave me..."
The New Year's holidays had quietly passed by before people even realized it.
Shao Qun didn't return to the company at all and just told assistant Zhou that he was going to handle all the urgent matters directly at home.
He knew that this was not a long-term solution, but at least for a short time, he didn't want Li Chengxiu out of his sight. Shao Qun was afraid that if he left, once he came back, Li Chengxiu would be gone.
He had to quickly deal with his current business and then bring Li Chengxiu back with him to Beijing.
Li Wenxun called him several times, saying that his father General Shao was so angry that he wanted to flip the roof. He advised Shao Qun to go home immediately.
Shao Qun listened to what he had to say and hummed perfunctorily.
Since his old man was so angry, Shao Qun didn’t dare to go home yet. At least he needed to wait until he calmed down and remembered that Shao Qun was his only son. His father once put a gun to his head. He really didn’t want to experience something like that for the second time.
Besides, Shao Qun was already upset enough with this whole Li Chengxiu situation. He didn’t have any energy left to deal with his father and his sisters.
After dealing with yet another work issue, Shao Qun got up, stretched his muscles and walked out of the study.
Li Chengxiu was lying on the sofa, holding the remote control in his hand. Although the people on the TV were moving, there was no sound at all. Li Chengxiu’s eyes were empty, and it wasn’t clear what exactly he was looking at.
As soon as Shao Qun walked over, Li Chengxiu immediately sat up straight and looked at him warily.
Shao Qun felt that he had no pride left anymore. Li Chengxiu was disgusted by him and disliked him but Shao Qun got used to that. He went up to him and put his arms around his shoulders: "Chengxiu, isn’t it too boring? Should I take you out for a walk?"
Li Chengxiu didn’t speak.
Shao Qun leaned his body against him and said in a muffled voice, "Forget it! Let’s just stay in. If you get lost, how am I going to look for you?”
Li Chengxiu lowered his eyes and looked away in silence.
Shao Qun said to himself: "By the way, last time you were bored, I got you a dog. Since we left in such a hurry, we forgot to bring the little thing with us. How about I get you another one, okay?"
Li Chengxiu finally couldn't keep silent anymore, "Don't abuse an animal like that."
Shao Qun frowned and asked, "What do you mean?"
Li Chengxiu said indifferently: "I have to leave… sooner or later. I don’t want…your things."
Shao Qun's face froze, and his fingers trembled slightly. He clamped Li Chengxiu's cheeks and fiercely said: "Don't mention leaving again. I told you, you’re not leaving."
Li Chengxiu glared at him angrily: "Why… can't you… let me go?"
If I let you go, who the hell will let me go?
Shao Qun thought to himself with infinite sadness.
If he could let Li Chengxiu go, why the hell would he be willing to force him to stay here and make both of them uncomfortable?
For Li Chengxiu’s sake, Shao Qun had offended his old man's comrade, so that now he was afraid to even come home. Most likely, the rumors have already spread around his Beijing circle, and everybody was discussing how the son of the Shao family had some screws missing and had destroyed his marriage and fallen out with his family because of some love affair.
Shao Qun had been straight up not having a good time lately.
For Li Chengxiu’s sake, he had muddled up all his principles and values. How dare he now say no to him?
An inexplicable anger rose in Shao Qun's heart.
Since he grew up, he hadn’t bowed his head even to his father. And now he was trying to please this Li Chengxiu in every possible way, while the man was reluctant to even look at him!
What exactly is he trying to achieve? How could Li Chengxiu treat him like this?
Shao Qun took a hold of his hand and suddenly became dishonest, as he slowly slipped down to his waist, trying to reach into Li Chengxiu’s clothes.
Li Chengxiu was always on guard against him. He jolted up as if he had just been electrocuted, pushed Shao Qun away as hard as he could and shouted at the same time, "Don't touch me!"
Shao Qun was pushed and stumbled, almost falling off the sofa.
He steadied himself, his face full of embarrassment and surprise, as his deep eyes stared directly at Li Chengxiu.
Li Chengxiu retreated to the corner of the sofa and looked at him in panic.
Shao Qun was about to do something several times, but he kept suppressing the impulse again and again.
Finally, a sad expression appeared on his face that seemed to be permanent.
Shao Qun turned around, took a cigarette from the coffee table and lit it up, his hands trembling slightly. He then put the cigarette into his mouth.
Neither of them spoke.
Li Chengxiu sat with his head lowered, while Shao Qun was smoking.
After a long time, Shao Qun said hoarsely: "Chengxiu, I'm impatient. I do cherish you, but don't make me wait for too long. Besides...I am made of flesh, so please regard me as a living and breathing person."
Li Chengxiu trembled, hugged himself and shrank into the corner.
Shao Qun put out his cigarette, stood up and planned to go back to his study just when the doorbell rang.
Shao Qun called out, "Who is it?" His tone was very bad.
A majestic and deep male voice came from outside the door: "Me."
Shao Qun's eye twitched a couple of times and he cursed in a low voice, "Damn it."
He went up to Li Chengxiu and pulled him off the sofa: "Go to the bedroom and lock the door. Don’t come out, until I tell you so."
After he pushed Li Chengxiu into the bedroom, Shao Qun rubbed his already messy hair, sighed and went to open the door.
There were four people outside.
Assistant Zhou looked frustrated and embarrassed. Li Shuo, his rival, looked like he was about to come up and kill him. His eldest sister looked cold, elegant, and domineering, as always. And his father, who was wearing his military uniform and had his usual majestic expression, looked angry and intimidating.
Before Shao Qun could speak, a heavy slap landed on his face.
Li Chengxiu this entire chapter
Chapter 50
Shao Qun's cheek burned in pain. His father was old, but you couldn’t tell that from the force of that slap at all.
The pain was nothing. A much bigger issue was being embarrassed in front of Li Shuo, which really made Shao Qun angry.
He probed his beaten cheek with his tongue from the inside and called out reluctantly, "Dad."
Old General Shao scolded him, "Oh, so you still know that I am your father! How did I manage to produce such an ungrateful thing like you!”
Shao Qun lowered his head and stepped out of the way: "Come in and let’s talk."
General Shao took a deep breath, turned his head slightly and said in a deep voice to Li Shuo, "Young man, we’re going to deal with some family matters. So you should leave for now."
Li Shuo's face was gloomy. His eyes had already scanned every corner of the living room, but he couldn’t find Li Chengxiu. He responded, "Mr. Shao, I have no intentions to get involved in your family affairs. But the reason why I reached out to you was because my lover has been taken away. Make your son release him, and I’ll leave."
Shao Qun's face suddenly changed, and his cold gaze cut Li Shuo like a knife: "Your lover? You phony foreign devil who takes what doesn’t belong to him! Get the hell out of my house!"
When General Shao saw his only son fighting over a man like nobody’s business, he couldn’t stand the humiliation and exploded. Angrily he shouted, "Shut your mouth!" Then he added in an aggravated tone, "Young man, I will return your... lover back to you. Just let me finish this matter first. Go and wait downstairs."
General Shao was an imposing man, and his words were loud and clear. It was impossible to disobey.
Li Shuo hesitated for a while, but in the end, assistant Zhou half-pushed and half-coaxed him to go downstairs.
General Shao and Shao Wen entered the room, and both sat down on the sofa.
Shao Qun stood besides them, constantly throwing glances towards the bedroom.
General Shao also glanced at the bedroom door and coldly said, "Call him out. I want to see what kind of a looker he is."
Shao Qun frowned: "Dad, don’t you have something to discuss with me?"
General Shao fiercely slammed the table, "Call him out right now! Do as I tell you!"
Shao Qun sighed, came up to the bedroom and knocked on the door: "Chengxiu, come out."
After a long while, Li Chengxiu opened the door, his face pale.
Shao Qun softly comforted him: "My dad and my sister are here. Don't be afraid, I won't let them bully you."
Li Chengxiu didn't want to be involved in the Shao family affairs, but he knew that he couldn't hide forever. He seemed to have heard Li Shuo's voice just now, and that made him feel a lot more at ease.
He couldn't help but ask, "Is Li-Dage here?"
Shao Qun’s face immediately darkened, he gritted his teeth and said, "Do you only have eyes for Li Shuo?"
Li Chengxiu lowered his head, as Shao Qun dragged him into the living room.
When Old General Shao and Shao Wen's cold eyes fell on him, Li Chengxiu felt that their gazes were slashing him open.
He couldn't help but think how naive he was before when he imagined that he and Shao Qun could be together forever.
What kind of person was Shao Qun? What kind of family did Shao Qun have?
Being together with Shao Qun was a foolish dream for someone like him.
At this point, shouldn't he be glad that he woke up early from this dream? Otherwise, he would definitely fall to pieces and never be able to become whole again.
Li Chengxiu lowered her head slightly, as if awaiting his own trial.
Fortunately, General Shao just gave him a cold look. Similar to Shao Wen, he didn't even want to bother with Li Chengxiu.
General Shao pointed at Shao Qun's nose and scolded: "Oh, you’ve grown bold. You’ve grown very bold. So bold, in fact, that you don’t even dare to come home to your family, huh? What was so wrong with Old Qi’s daughter that, instead, you now have to fool around with this thing that’s neither male, nor female?”
Shao Qun frowned and subconsciously stepped in front of Li Chengxiu: "Dad, don't say such things about him."
General Shao's eyes widened, he picked up an ashtray from the table and threw it at Shao Qun's forehead.
The delicate crystal ashtray reached its target. Shao Qun closed his eyes, as blood flowed down his face.
Shao Wen couldn't sit still anymore and grabbed her father's arm: "Dad, we agreed not to do something like this before we came."
General Shao said sternly: "Shut up! You women spoiled him rotten! Just look at him! He can’t even behave properly. When I was at home, I used to beat him up three times a day to get all this nonsense out of him! And now look at him! He either hangs out with his good-for-nothing friends all day long or locks up people who don’t want to be with him. God damn you! In my day and age, such a rogue like you would just be shot!” The old general got more and more agitated as he continued speaking. He finally stood up and slapped Shao Qun again.
Shao Wen was really distressed. She quickly gave Shao Qun a wink, trying to tell him to concede softly.
Shao Qun seemed not to have seen it. With an ashen face, he stood upright.
Li Chengxiu glanced at the blood on Shao Qun's face and quickly turned away.
Only now did he understand that Shao Qun's irritability, Shao Wen's arrogance, and Shao Nuo's spiteful unruliness was nothing to fear compared to their father’s temper.
He had seen enough of the Shao family to know that each of them was worse than the other.
Old General Shao was so angry that the veins on his forehead were throbbing. He pointed at Shao Qun's nose and said, "You pack up now and come home with me immediately!"
Shao Qun ripped at his hair and said with a sullen face: "Dad, I still have business here to take care of. How can I just leave?"
Mr. Shao snorted coldly: "Business? Is it business that keeps you so busy that you can’t come home for New Year’s? You’re going back with me now, and we will both directly go to Old Qi’s door to offer our apologies."
Shao Qun turned his face away: "Dad, don't worry about this. I gave Qi Ming a house and a car. She was really happy about this and was going to explain everything to Old Qi herself."
The old man's face turned dark: "You youngsters! You made such a mess! Such a mess! Treating your marriage so sloppily! What are you even thinking about? Come back with me. You absolutely have to apologize to Old Qi!"
Shao Qun pursed his lips and said bluntly, "I can't leave."
Mr. Shao quickly stood up from the sofa and looked heavily at his son, who was half a head taller than him: "I can't control you anymore, can I? You’re completely out of control?"
Shao Qun's Adam's apple went up and down, and he couldn't help turning his head slightly to glance at Li Chengxiu, his eyes full of reluctance and struggle.
But Li Chengxiu wasn’t even looking at him.
Shao Qun felt like he was about to cry, it seemed like his heart was yet again cut by a knife. He closed his eyes and said dumbly: "Dad, I can't leave. Don't force me."
Mr. Shao straightened his military uniform, took out his phone and said in a commanding tone, "Both of you, come up."
Shao Qun and his sister looked at each other.
Shao Wen was desperately winking at him, begging him to just do as he was told.
Shao Qun gave his father an angry look: "Dad, I told you not to force me."
Old General Shao said coldly: "Your old man isn’t dead yet. Once I’m gone, who else will be able to reign you in? If I don’t discipline you before I kick the bucket, I won’t be able to face your mother!”
Soon the sound of neat and rhythmical footsteps came from the corridor.
Two soldiers in military uniforms came in and immediately saluted General Shao.
General Shao pointed at his son: "Take him."
The two men looked at each other.
Mr.Shao repeated with an emphasis: "Take him!"
Shao Qun's face turned blue from anger, and he clenched his fists.
Seeing this, Shao Wen quickly went up and hugged her brother’s arm, desperately shaking her head at him.
The two soldiers approached Shao Qun and twisted his arms behind his back.
Shao Qun waved them away angrily: "I can go by myself."
Shao Wen breathed a sigh of relief.
The old man snorted, turned around and headed out the door.
Shao Qun smiled self-deprecatingly at Li Chengxiu: "Didn’t you hate me for being an asshole? See, I’ve learned from the best."
Li Chengxiu slightly lifted his chin, but did not look at him.
Shao Qun went up and grabbed Li Chengxiu's arm, forcing him to face him. He looked into his eyes and said solemnly, "Wait for me, I won’t give up."
Shao Wen took a tissue from the coffee table and pressed it at her brother's bleeding forehead, urging him: "Hurry up, don't irritate Dad."
Shao Qun took one last look at Li Chengxiu and left.
Frozen in place, Li Chengxiu stood in the room that was now completely empty and looked at the open door.
He heard footsteps coming from the corridor, and soon Li Shuo rushed in.
As soon as he came through the door, he hugged Li Chengxiu.
"Chengxiu, Chengxiu, are you all right? Did he give you a hard time? Did he hurt you?"
Li Chengxiu looked at him absent-mindedly, and it took him a long time to realize that this was Li Shuo in front of him.
He numbly shook his head: "I’m fine."
Li Shuo touched his thin face and said sadly: "I was looking for you everywhere... Then I managed to contact Shao Qun's elder sister. She found this property in Shenzhen under Shao Qun's name. Only then did I know where you were. I was going insane...""
Li Chengxiu's eyes were slightly wet: "I made you worry…"
Li Shuo forced a smile and said, "What are you talking about! It was impossible for me not to worry, when I couldn’t find you night after night."
Li Shuo looked drained and exhausted. Indeed, it was noticeable how much effort he had put into looking for Li Chengxiu.
Li Chengxiu was very grateful: "Thank you. Thank you."
Li Shuo hugged him again and said softly, "As long as you’re fine, it’s all good."
Li Chengxiu looked at the open door and was silent.
Although Shao Qun was temporarily detained by his father, he couldn’t be locked up forever after all. So sooner or later, he was coming back. Thus, Li Chengxiu couldn’t stay at any of the places he had stayed in before.
Li Shuo offered Li Chengxiu to move in with him, until they could find another place.
Li Chengxiu had always been a little bit hesitant about this new relationship in his heart. It wasn't that he couldn't accept Li Shuo - he was trying really hard to accept him. It was just that he needed more time.
Besides, Li Chengxiu didn't want to live with anyone anymore. Especially not Li Shuo.
He wanted to find a place of his own and pay his own rent, so that there wouldn’t come another day when he was forced to leave in embarrassment because of a failed relationship.
He didn't want to experience the double blow of losing a familiar lover and losing a familiar place to live for the second time.
No matter how awful the pain was, he could endure it - it was just a part of life. There was no hurdle in this world that he couldn’t overcome. However, Li Chengxiu was afraid that the hurdles will just become higher and higher every time. So he had to become stronger day by day, in order to be ready to face any coming disaster or despair all by himself at any moment.
Seeing his dilemma, Li Shuo didn’t pressure him, but rather carefully gave him some suggestions.
Adrian was also not used to living with others, but he offered his help in looking for a house.
Li Chengxiu politely refused and insisted on doing everything himself. He was a self-reliant person. In fact, he didn’t need any help from others. He felt that Li Shuo and Adrian had already done their best for him, and he was embarrassed to trouble them again and again.
Since he got his job through his connections with Li Shuo, Li Chengxiu’s boss didn’t give him a hard time, even though he missed a few days of work.
He now had a fixed income, so he managed to find a decent house for himself this time. It was gradually getting warmer outside. When Li Chengxiu was at work during the day, little Teacup could leisurely bask in the sun. Although his new house was old and small, it had a kitchen and bathroom, and the transportation was quite convenient. This was ideal for Li Chengxiu.
The dark memories about his imprisonment in Shao Qun's house for more than a week slowly faded, and Li Chengxiu's mood gradually calmed down. Since Shao Qun had completely dropped off the radar, Li Chengxiu’s life returned to the right track.
It was also an undoubted pleasure to interact with Li Shuo.
He wasn’t like your usual young man in love who was eager to monopolize every aspect of his life. Instead, Li Shuo respected Li Chengxiu's work time and personal space, and he also encouraged him to have more social life. He enjoyed the fact that both of them had their own busy lives going on during the weekdays, while having sweet cozy dates on their days off.
Such a mature and considerate way of communication made Li Chengxiu feel grateful, and he became more and more trusting and committed to Li Shuo.
Li Chengxiu's independence also surprised Li Shuo.
In his eyes, Li Chengxiu was too weak and required protection. He had proposed living together because he felt that Li Chengxiu needed to be taken care of. But gradually he found out that Li Chengxiu didn’t need the care of others. His life was regular and orderly. His house was very old, but he always kept it spotlessly clean. Even the cushions in Teacup's nest were changed every three days, keeping them fresh and free of smells.
Li Chengxiu took good care of his own life. This made Li Shuo both admire him and feel greatly pleased by him.
It was a fact that Li Chengxiu was by no means the best among the people that Li Shuo had been with. However, he was the one who fit him the most in regards to his character and behavior. Li Chengxiu corresponded to the image of the person he had imagined spending his whole life with.
Li Shuo didn’t need an unrestrained love that was tormented by passion from the inside out. He didn’t want to date different kinds of people anymore and experience relationship failures over and over again. All Li Shuo wanted was a good, reliable person whom he loved and could regard as his wife. He was willing to give all his feelings and all his respect to this person and be with him for the rest of his life.
He felt that Li Chengxiu was this person.
When he returned home after a busy day, Li Chengxiu took a bath and then sat down to read a book on the sofa together with Teacup.
Teacup had grown a little in this time, and was now bigger than his palm. It also felt a little heavier than before. This puppy could really eat and sleep well!
Teacup didn’t like eating dog food very much nowadays. Ever since Li Chengxiu once gave him some leftover chicken soup with rice, it was the only thing he wanted.
Such a small dog was very delicate, and it was more difficult to take care of than a big dog.
When he used to live alone, Li Chengxiu would never turn the lights on when going to the bathroom at night. Now, not only did he have to turn on the lights but also be extra careful while walking not to step on the little pup.
Adrian told him several times not to spoil Teacup so much, but every time he came over, he brought a bunch of dog snacks and toys with him. Li Chengxiu was very adamant about always preparing and heating up the soup for the puppy, no matter how tired he was after work.
It was also a good way to save money.
Li Chengxiu touched Teacup’s soft curly hair, while quietly enjoying his book.
Suddenly his phone rang.
He thought it was Li Shuo at first, but when he saw the caller ID, it turned out to be an unfamiliar number.
Since he started working, he had many different people contact him via mobile phone, so it wasn’t that big of a surprise to receive a call from an unsaved number.
"Hello?"
There was only the sound of nervous breathing on the other end.
Li Chengxiu frowned suspiciously and whispered, "Hello?"
Suddenly, he heard a weak voice: "Chengxiu..."
Li Chengxiu was shocked and hung up the phone as quickly as possible.
This voice he could never forget for the rest of his life. It was Shao Qun.
The phone rang again immediately, and Li Chengxiu just directly turned it off.
He panicked, wanting to call Li Shuo. But he was too scared to switch his phone on again.
How did Shao Qun get his number? Where was he now? Was he back? Did he know where Li Chengxiu was?
A series of questions made Li Chengxiu anxious, as he looked at his mobile phone in fear.
How Li Shuo sees Li Chengxiu
[1] All the details in “Additional Inheritance”, hehe.
[2] One of the largest beaches in Shenzhen
[3] In the original, it says “couldn’t eat raw seafood”. In Cantonese “raw seafood” could refer to something refreshing. But I’m not 100% sure about it.
[4] 188 cm, obviously XD
[5] The counter of phones destroyed by Shao Qun in a fit of rage: 3
[6] I won’t “designate” any skippable parts for the rape this time because some dialogue at these moments can’t really be skipped. In general, this is the worst chapter so far. Be prepared. Maybe take a break?
[7] In the original, it says “bipolar disorder” or “manic depression” (躁郁). I would presume that it doesn’t mean that Shao Qun is actually bipolar. Rather, that he has a mania in the sense that he has an “excessive desire/obsession”. But it’s just my interpretation.
[8] To avoid any misunderstandings: In the original, it says “sex that was the same as rape”. It sounds a bit clunky, so I rephrased it a little. But the main point is that his experience is equated to rape completely, and not just compared to it. The author doesn’t avoid calling things what they are.
[9] It’s a transparent quartz crystal that can be used in industry (e.g. for watches or semiconductors)
[10] A bully friend from school - the one with the violent older brother.
[11] Another bully friend from school - the one with red hair
[12] It’s one of the most important foods in Chinese New Year.Traditionally, members of a family get together to make dumplings during the New Year's Eve.
[13] It’s a Chinese New Year special produced by China Media Group. It is broadcast annually on the eve of Chinese New Year. The Gala has the largest audience of any entertainment show in the world.
The program is a variety show, often featuring music, dance, comedy, and drama performances. It has become a ritual for many Chinese families, including overseas Chinese,
[14] The New Year 's goods refer to certain items that are traditionally purchased before the New Year’s. Usually, it’s abalone, sea cucumbers, shark fins,and fish maw. In some places, people will buy candy melon seeds and put them on a traditional platter. The New Year's goods could also be gifts for New Year's greetings, like chocolates, cookies etc. This is because when visiting relatives and friends' homes, it is customary to bring something with you.
[15] Just like “Dage”, it means “older brother”, however “Gege” is more informal, some would even say flirty. “Heaven Official’s Blessing” is a great novel to read to learn all about the usage of “Gege” ;)
[16] In the original it says that he knew that he was “Mara” (魔障), which refers to a demon of temptation in Buddhism. It is usually used to describe a person who is crazily obsessed with something.
[17] Reference to this song 周華健 Wakin Chau【孤枕難眠 Sleepless night alone】Official Music Video
[18] About 82 Fahrenheit.
[19] This case is elaborated in more detail in “Winner Takes All”. The gist, however, is that Li Shuo did, in fact, cook the books. On a personal sidenote, this is one of the biggest reasons I dislike Li Shuo - he helps rich assholes game the system.
[20] A bit of inconsistency with “Additional Inheritance”. Adrian can actually fight. Maybe just not against three trained soldiers.
[21] More about the nephew in “Additional Inheritance” :)