/
“Then let’s go out now.”
“Are you going to talk to Mom today?”
“It would be nice, but no.”
“You know exactly.”
“Yes, I can feel it. But I think I’ll listen to you since I promised you, but not today.”
Dad, who was dragged by my hand, straightened himself up.
“Yeah, can you feel it?”
“Yes.”
“Then I’ll go to your mom. I’m worried about leaving you alone.”
Dad let out a small ‘Oh’, took my hand and left the room.
He went on to say sorry he had been holding on to it for too long.
The room was not far away but right in front of me, so as soon as I got out of the room I was just in, I could go back to my mom’s room.
As if to make time for two people, my dad let me into the room.
Leaving a message that I would definitely come later, I jumped on my mom as soon as the door opened.
“Mom!”
My mom, who wasn’t feeling well yet, laid in bed, but as soon as she heard my voice, she got up from bed and opened her arms towards me.
“Have you been well?”
“Yes!”
“Yeah? Aren’t you tired?”
“Yes!”
“I’m glad.”
As always, my mom stroked my hair with her soft hands. At this point, she would ask for water but my mom didn’t say anything. It was as if she wasn’t supposed to.
I stared at my mom, who was still sweet and smiling at me.
“Why are you looking at me like that? Do you have anything to say?”
“Yeah, my mom is being weird today.”
“Weird?”
“Usually, you would say ‘my daughter’ or call me Bebe, but you didn’t… you didn’t say it, Mom.”
Somewhere in my chest beat strangely.
Mom… didn’t say anything to me.
“Why don’t you say anything? It’s not… You have to say something like that, right?”
“Bebe.”
“…Yes.”
“Did you hear about your mom who gave birth to you and your twin?”
I don’t think I could have said I heard it, but I couldn’t bear to lie to my mom. Because of this, my lips pouted. She bowed her head.
“…A-A bit.”
“Right…”
I shook my head from side to side as I saw my mom’s face darken.
“Why are you making that face?”
“Bebe, if you heard it, you shouldn’t be here… I think you’d know.”
It felt like the sky was falling. I
I just came in to tell her the conversation I just had with my dad. I didn’t come here to hear this. However, my mom spat out those words in a calm tone, like someone who just cleared her mind while I was away.
“What do you mean?”
“…”
“You said you won’t leave. You were supposed to be next to Bebe. But why? Why did you change your mind? Why… Were you just appeasing me?”
“Bebe…”
“What excuse do you have? Whatever you say… Why does my mom… Why do you keep trying to leave me?”
I tried so hard to be with my mom, but why was she thinking of leaving?
All I needed was my mom. I don’t have to be here. I just need my mom… so why?
I glared at my mom with resentment.
“I felt a little resentful after losing my child. Why did I have to lose her? I couldn’t give birth to a healthy child. Meanwhile, Elin gave birth to healthy twins. I’m such a bad mother.”
My mom’s voice, which calmed down more than ever, was sad, to the point where it made me cry just by listening to her.
“Mom…”
“How could a mother not be able to protect her child?”
“No, no, it’s not… it’s just… it’s just…”
“Meanwhile, the child reached out to me. You’re the one who smiled at me. You… Bebe saved me.”
Tears trickled down.
“Then you have to hold my hand until the end. I won’t let go. Why… Why do you keep trying to let go? Earlier… you said you were going to be with me…”
“It’s all thanks to you that I didn’t die. It’s all thanks to you that I tried to live without despair.”
“So let’s continue to live like that… what? Did Bebe make you upset? So, is that why? I… I only cried a few times after hearing about my mother who gave birth to me. I just… I wasn’t sad. I mean, so… don’t be angry Mom. To Bebe, there is only one mother in the world.”