/
“At times like this, you really don’t look like your age, Bebe.”
“I don’t know what it is to look like my age. Do I have to?”
I was just saying what I wanted to say, but was it important not to look my age when I was just comforting someone who needed it?
I puffed my cheeks and looked at my dad. Only then did my dad stroke my head with a more relaxed expression than before.
“No, it’s not like that. It’s just that you hide your feelings
”
“It’s my dad who hides his feelings. Why are you pretending to be okay? It’s not okay.”
Why was he pretending to be okay when he looked like he was about to cry right now? I stretched my dad’s cheeks even more than before, as if I was stretching cheese.
“Oh, it hurts Bebe.”
“You say it hurts.”
“You sound just like her. Whenever I get distracted
 Ellin used to talk like you.”
“Anyway, if you’re tired, say you’re tired. If you’re sick, say it hurts!”
There were no words between us for a moment. I just put my hand down slightly because my dad’s expression looked more serious than before.
Then, Dad dropped his head to the floor.
“Are you okay?”
“
I’m getting older. As time goes by, I’m getting more things to handle.”
His voice was different than usual. The voice itself became sullen, as if it were a flower that had been bent.
“I’m not saying this to you because I know saying things like that won’t make a difference, but
 but
”
“You can say it. It doesn’t make a difference, but if you don’t say it, it’s frustrating for you.”
If I hadn’t confessed to my twin brother, who was on the same boat as me, I wouldn’t have known this feeling.
However, I felt at ease because I said something to my brother that I couldn’t tell anyone.
‘So I hope Dad feels comfortable.’
Hard branches do not break, but once they do, all the bark is torn apart. I couldn’t help but worry over this man in front of me; my dad.
‘Like me.’
I could see it now. When my father, who had always been stern, peeled off his shell, he looked just like me, as if I was reading my twin brother’s face.
“Yes. You can tell me.”
“
”
“And to be honest, what do I know! I’m just a child!”
“
Yes, but I always wanted to look strong to you. No, not only to you, but to my family, who I have to protect.”
At times like this, I acted like my mother, who raised me.
“My mom did, too. Mom always had to be strong. Then where do you talk about your hardships? Your mom and dad?”
“Did Adele do the same?”
“Yes. Mom did too.”
A small sigh escaped my Dad’s mouth.
“
Right.”
“So you can say it!”
My father, who slowly raised his head, looked at me quietly. It looked like he had a lot of worries but he thought he couldn’t talk in the end, so he finally shook his head from side to side.
“A dad should always have strong shoulders so that your children can focus on growing up.”
“
Dummy.”
“That’s what I have to do to protect you as your father, no matter how hard it is.”
“Tch
 I see. Then Dad, tell Mom if you’re struggling.”
“Tell Adele?”
Dad, who had been speaking seriously until now, tilted his head.
“Yes! She’s my mom! She’s so smart she’ll listen to whatever you say.”
“Is that so?”
“So make sure to tell my mom. Doesn’t she also suffer alone?”
Only then did my father laugh. It wasn’t the kind of laugh that spewed out of frustration, as before.
It seemed somewhat comfortable.
“I’ll make sure I do.”
I held out my pinky finger towards my dad.
“Come on!”
“What’s this?”
“Pinky promise!”
“Promise
?”
As if he had neer done it before, my dad tilted his head and looked at my hand for a long time.
“Oh my. Make a pinky promise with me! If you don’t keep your promise
 bad things will happen!”
“Bad things?”
“Yes! Step on a soap, fall and break your head, or you’ll get stones while eating vegetables! So you have to keep it!”
Dad wrapped his large pinky around mine.
“Make sure you pinky promise me.”
“Oh, this is how you do it. I must keep my promise even if I’m scared.”
“Yes!”
That alone was enough. When my dad doesn’t suffer alone, that alone is enough, so I took my dad’s hand.