My momās eyes were red as she looked at me.
āFrom now on⦠you have to be with Bebe. You have to be the reason for Bebeās life. You canāt leave like this.ā
āIf I had tried, Ellin would have lived, and your twin brother wouldnāt have suffered. Itās all my fault.ā
āWhy?! There are other people who are at fault, so why do you blame yourself for that?!ā
I was angry for a moment. If I had not known anything, wouldnāt my mom have felt this? How can I persuade my mom?
But she shook her head with a more determined face than ever.
āYou protected me. Mom⦠Mom always took care of me. Why do you think itās nothing?ā
She endured severe abuse for someone elseās children. She was the kind of person who resisted by being beaten by the people who hit and starved me.
āItās other people who were at fault. The one who kidnapped the mom who gave birth to me and hit us was wrong. But why⦠are you the one at fault⦠when they abused us?ā
Tears filled my momās eyes as she let out a small sigh.
āItās those people who are at faultā¦ā
āItās always like that. Many wrongdoers sleep well with their legs stretched out, but those who make one mistake will live a lifetime being haunted by it. So donāt do that anymore. You donāt have to. I met my brother⦠and the mother who gave birth to me.ā
Sometimes my mom felt like a wall, as if she was locked and surrounded by a thick wall and she could not get out. Thatās exactly what it is right now.
No matter what I said⦠Mom will not cave in.
Sheās been like this before.
It was nothing else. When there was not enough food to eat, my mom would always refuse to eat with her face like that.
I never thought Iād see that face again.
āI mean⦠No. Noā¦ā
Only tears came out. I think sheās really going to leave. There was nothing else I could do.
I donāt know much about the mind of an adult, but I could see that my mom was telling me she was ready to go.
āBebe, can I really stay here?ā
It was the first time my momās heart was shaken.
āYes! You can protect Bebe from now on. Thatās it! Iām sure my mom who gave birth to me thought the same!ā
Before my mother had another thought, I quickly said those words. My momās expression was still uneasy but her expression became much more relaxed.
I didnāt answer, but her warm hand still stroked my hair, as if she was saying āDonāt worryā.
In the end, it seemed as if all the tiredness was coming all at once, and I fell asleep with my head on my momās lap.
I held her hand tightly in case my mom would leave.
After Bebe fell asleep, Adelaide patted her childās head for a long time.
Her face was pale and her fingers trembled.
Still, she did not stop stroking her childās head.
Then night came, and there was only silence in the room.
Her long eyelashes swayed slightly, perhaps in response to her unusually trembling voice.
āI guess youāre having a hard time.ā
Whether it was sleep talking or really calling her mom, the room was filled with the voice of the child crying out.
āYes⦠Momās hereā¦ā
As if relieved, Bebe wriggled again and touched her hand slightly.
āStill, baby, this is enough. It was enough to spend time with my Bebe like this⦠Thank you.ā
Bebe opened her eyes very slowly, as if she had understood her words.
Unusually bright light leaked from Adelaideās body. It was warm and soft. Bebe snuggled further into her arms.
āMom⦠Mom, donāt go anywhere, okay?ā
āYes, I wonāt go. Iāll be next to Bebe like this. Thank you⦠I love you, my daughter.ā
The child fell asleep again, as if she was relieved to hear that her mom wasnāt going. A crackling sound filled the room.
Then, tears fell from Adelaideās eyes.