âSister, I can no longer âendure and donât mindâ this.â
Elder Sister, you can say that because you have memories of what itâs like âwhen Amalda wasnât aroundâ.
âBut I donât.â
I donât have any recollection of Father being kind.
I canât recall any instance when Elder Brother played with me.
My memories with Mother only span a few moments.
By the time Iâm aware of whatâs going on around me, Amalda was already there, and my family was fawning over her.
âLook at me.â
Study very hard, be a good kid â still not enough.
Be a troublesome kid and make their heads ache â still not enough.
Even if I made a fuss, got angry, or cried â they would just look fed up and exasperated.
I couldnât win against that girlâs charms.
But, if I also have my own specialtyâŚ
If I became someone whose existence is worth itâŚ.
Look forward, be desperate, strive to become better than now â
Always, always putting effort thatâs more than Amalda could ever give â
âŚ.Somebody.
Somebody will probably notice me.
They might realize that Iâm also here, not Amalda, and they might understand me.
I donât care who it is. Just, please, even one person in the entire world is enough.
âŚSomebody, please find me.
âEleanor-san.â
A gentle voice softly called out to me while I curled up like a child, wallowing in all these dark, sticky emotions.
He took my motionless, limp hand as his voice quietly resounded through the room that only had the two of us in it.
âHey, Eleanor-san. Canât it be me?â
The cool touch caressed my fingers.
He held me tighter, as if trying to rescue me from the depths of darkness threatening to swallow me whole.
It didnât hurt. Just painfully gentle.
âI will find you. If itâs me, no matter how dark the place is, I will definitely find you. Just like how you found me.â
It was a dimly lit room that the sun couldnât reach.
A dark shadow fell beneath me.
I was looking down, but the shadow of my profile wasnât visible. It was already swallowed in a much bigger shadow than my own.
It was much bigger than his usual shadow, but I couldnât really see clearly, the silhouettes blurred, probably because of my eyes misting over.
âYou ââ
The outline of that pale shadow quivered â it started to shake its head.
Just like what a human would do.
âJust like how you found me, someone who didnât have anyone to care for him, in this dark room. Just like how you noticed whatâs in my heart, despite being the worthless, Incompetent God who isnât even a respectable deity.â
His voice was now beside my ear, the air wavering from his gentle breath.
I realized that the sensation touching my back felt different for some reason.
Instead of the plump, smooth feeling, it was hard, and a bit angular.
But everything was hazy.
âI also want to gaze at you. I want to appease your loneliness. I want to exist solely for that.â
The shadow swayed.
He didnât reproach me for not being able to look back at him, nor did he force me to turn around. He simply reached his âhandâ to me shyly.
âJust like how you light my world â I also want to be your light.â
â Just as he rescued me from the depths of blackness, from the filth that I was trapped in not long agoâŚ
He gently enveloped me in his warm embrace from behind me.
Hi everyone, Hanazakura here, thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Hungry for more? Great news! You can read 5 chapters in advance for as low as $3 at . Early access reading (per chapter) is also available now at Foxaholic 18 ! Schedule for this novel is two free chapters per week. đ