Title: Fellow Masochists
In the end, I didn’t run into my sister until the festival was over.
It seems like God twisted the world a bit. I didn’t go to the after-festival party and went home like I normally would. I was really tired and wanted to crash as soon as possible.
Tomorrow is a Sunday as well, so sleeping in will be awesome. And what’s even better, Monday is a public holiday.[1]Ā Absolutely no blind spots.
I guess I couldn’t complain since the festival and my job ended without any problems. Everyone in the student council gave us their thanks, and Arina and I went back to being your run-of-the-mill dissociated high schoolers. It’s called being a part of the Going-Home club.
ā€œUgh, I’m pooped.ā€
ā€œGood work.ā€
As per usual, I asked my sister to take care of me as I blankly stared at the television.
ā€œHow was our festival?ā€
ā€œIt was fun. Although it was sad I couldn’t see Nii-chan.ā€
ā€œThat’s good. I had a bunch of fun too.ā€
ā€œAre you not going out with Arina-san?ā€
ā€œWhy would I be? You got about 20 screws loose inside your head. Go pick them up.ā€
ā€œWell, out of curiosity, I asked some of the students ā€˜Do you know Hiwa Arina?’ while at the festival, and, surprisingly, I got a ton of responses that were like, ā€œOh, lately she’s been hanging out with this Sakaki guy.'ā€
ā€œWha?ā€
ā€œSo, are you guys not dating?ā€
ā€œListen up, Ugin-kun. It’s true that the rumors have been going around for a while, but we aren’t dating, seriously. I’m only involved with her to correct her bad mouth.ā€
ā€œAh, just now, you said ā€˜she’.ā€
ā€œI said she , Ugin-kun. I didn’t say girlfriend .ā€[2]
ā€œBut Arina-san’s such a beauty you want to date her, don’tcha? Be honest.ā€
ā€œSomewhat.ā€
ā€œSo modest. What are you gonna do if she starts dating someone else? Do you wanna continue your current relationship?ā€
It wasn’t like I hadn’t thought about the possibility of Arina dating someone, but it was barely on my mind. She was a beauty, so people would gather round. In this world, it was just natural, and it was also a natural thing to date someone.
The reason why I hadn’t really thought about it too deeply was because I knew that with her personality, Arina would never date anyone. She pretty much rejected everyone and I assumed that she was allergic to people.
However, when my sister asked me what I would do if Arina started dating someone, surprisingly, I was at a loss for words when I confronted her question head-on.
ā€œI wonder. I hadn’t really thought of it.ā€
ā€œBruh seriously?ā€
ā€œWell, if Arina goes out with someone, I guess I’ll stop being involved with her.ā€
ā€œYeah, that’ll probably happen.ā€
ā€œI don’t like messing with other people’s relationships or have them fall apart cause of me.ā€
ā€œNii-chan, you’re kind of a sad person.ā€
ā€œGuess so. In a previous life, I was probably a caveman who got squashed by a mammoth.ā€
It was Tuesday after school, in the Rose garden.
ā€œā€”and then my sister told me if you started dating someone, the Rose Garden would disband and I’ll disappear, so you don’t have to worry.ā€
ā€œWhat are you talking about all of a sudden?ā€
Arina looked at me skeptically, as if I were a suspicious person. Her eyes were telling me that if I didn’t shut up right now, I’m gonna be flayed alive.
Thinking back at the conversation I had with my sister three days ago, I realized that Arina might think that I’m a pain in the ass. So I thought I should make things clear. It might not be any of my business, but…
ā€œSimply put, if you date anyone, I’ll disappear so that you can love each other in peace.ā€
ā€œI’m going to throw up.ā€
ā€œYou good?ā€
ā€œPut yourself in the shoes of a person who was told to ā€˜love’ by a guy who looks like a minced bloody worm.ā€
ā€œThat would be… hell.ā€
I guess it was none of my business.
ā€œYou’re popular. If you get into a relationship with a guy, he might try to attack me. With strange rumors. Even I don’t like that.ā€
ā€œI’m already suffering from rumors. It’s your fault.ā€
ā€œIt’s not my fault. It’s some idiot’s delusions.ā€
ā€œYeah yeah.ā€
ā€œLet’s stop talking about it. Now then, what’re we doing today?ā€
I was running out of ideas and was trying to think of a plan.
ā€œIf you were dating me, I’ll disappear as well, so it’s mutual.ā€
Suddenly, Arina threw some words at me.
ā€œWhat? We’re dating?ā€
ā€œHuh? I’m going to toss you into a shredder. If you go out with someone, I’ll disappear just like you, so don’t worry. Same as what you’re thinking.ā€
ā€œOur relationship is pretty interesting. It’s like a contest to see who gets a boyfriend or girlfriend first.ā€
ā€œI don’t think it’s even a contest. Both you and I don’t seem to date anyone.ā€
ā€œTrue.ā€
I couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. Hiding her face with her book, Arina also chuckled, with her shoulders shaking.
There was a warmth spreading throughout my chest which made me forget about the cold.
As winter approached, the students were wearing cardigans and other forms of heavy clothing. While I also wore a cardigan, the cold air came in through my legs and I felt cold. My breath turned white and the days of gray skies continued. There was still no sign of snow.
As a 2nd year, this winter will be the final winter of my high school life that I can spend in peace. Next year, I’ll be taking entrance exams as well as studying for the center exam.[3]Ā I’m sure Aki-senpai is working hard.
At this time of year, my phone’s battery life gets worse. It seems that the cold weather affects the chemicals and voltage. I shoved it into my pocket and warmed it up with my body heat on the way to school. I tried to avoid using it as much as possible, but when I heard the vibration of an incoming mail, I had no choice but to take it back out.
[Call me if you want to do anything after school.]
It was from Arina. I had wondered to myself if it was a girlfriend, texting me in the morning. Of course, I knew it wasn’t, since it was so formal.
At the same time, I realized how much I’ve grown and what I’ve accomplished, since I could finally say ā€œI’m finally getting along with Arina well enough to get mails.ā€
This email address was worth a lot of money. Mainly for men, of course. I wondered how many people in the school had Arina’s phone number and email address. Maybe a handful? It’s definitely worth money.
Lately, there hasn’t been much activity.
The cold weather made it hard for me and Arina to help out with the sports clubs. I admire the people who are doing club activities. All we did was meet at the Rose Garden after school for casual conversations, me getting verbally assaulted, and occasionally helping with the student council and cultural club activities. We’ve been interacting with the student council since the cultural festival. Since Tsuru invited me, I didn’t really have any reason to refuse, so it was becoming a regular occurrence.
I sent a reply. [There’s not really anything much, so I’m free.] I’m free, but Arina will head to the Rose Garden. Whether anything happens or not, we’ll always go there.
But today, I have plans. I’m going to talk to Akakusa-sensei again about Arina.
I strongly felt that I had to change my perception of Arina once again.
Notes:
[1]Ā Check this articleĀ hereĀ for info
[2]Ā The word for ā€œsheā€ in Japanese (kanojo) is the same word for ā€œgirlfriendā€. In order to clarify, Sui says ā€œsheā€ and ā€œgirlfriendā€ in English
[3]Ā Center exams are a type of standardized test used by most universities in Japan