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Title: Reason to Exist
“You don’t need to bother with me anymore, Sui.”
When I first met Hiwa Arina, I regretted the fact that I got myself into an annoying situation. I would complain to my sister, and, since I didn’t know what to do, I was confused. Although the days were filled with one-sided abuse, her occasional smile would make me think that it wasn’t so bad. The corners of my mouth would tug upwards every day.
I enjoyed talking with Arina. And I laughed at how I was being pushed around. That feeling was real. And that’s why her words pierced so deep.
“I can’t bother Sui any more than I already have. You’ve been taking care of us all this time, haven’t you?”
“I’ve done my best.”
“It’s okay now. I’ll take care of everything.”
“…What kind of ending are you looking for?”
“The opposite of Sui and Akakusa-sensei.”
“Huh? Which is?”
“I’ll completely disappear.”
Arina stated a terrible thing quite plainly. In a certain sense, it was like death. It’s synonymous with death. The problem was that they both wanted to disappear. It was something that could be seen as the opposite of suicide. And if that’s what they’re planning to do, I’ll do everything I can to stop it.
Life is a precious thing. Unfortunately, its value can differ based on murder and status, but it was still a very precious metaphysical concept that should be cherished and not allowed to be thrown away.
I went around the school with Arina without talking.
Every now and then, she would tell me, “Let’s go over here”, and I would go along with her, but I felt like I was in a daze. It was as if I was wandering around in a fog, my mind nowhere to be found. I was terrified of the possibility that I wouldn’t be able to be with Arina. I was aware that her presence in my mind was growing every day, but when I finally opened that box, I found that it was more than I imagined. Then, suddenly, I was struck in the back. I violently coughed as the shock hit me with so much force that my heart came out through my skin and muscles.
“Sorry, there was a tarantula on your back.”
The violent person was Hiwa Arina. I’ve only known one person who would do something like that.
“Looks like you’re awake.”
“Indeed. I was surprised when my memory suddenly went blank. One minute, I was on that stage and could see your face, and the next, you and I were walking together in the hallway. So I hit you with enough power to crush your spine.”
“Switch.”
“What?”
“Switch your personality.”
“If that were that easy, all conflict on Earth would have been extinguished by now.”
“Are you a god or something?”
She seemed to have returned to the original poisonous rose personality. Woah, why does it feel like home? I was filled with a strange sense of relief. How ironic.
“So, what did we talk about?”
“A bunch of things…”
“Next time your words are muddy they’ll sink in the Indian Ocean.”
“…A bit about you two, your relationship, and your past. Also the notebook.”
As her personality changed, her voice tone, expressions, and behavior all became different. I think I was looking at her as if I were looking at something slightly strange amid a stunning transformation. It must have been reflected in Arina.
I don’t know if she noticed or not, but Arina’s eyes darted around and she had a dumbfounded look on her face. Her mouth curled into a pout and her gaze was infinitely distant.
“W-What’s wrong?”
She immediately swapped to a crisp expression. What the hell, some kind of 3D character texture? Arina hurriedly took her notebook out and scribbled something in it. As soon as she finished writing, she put it away. Only God knows where she keeps that thing.
“If you read it again, you’ll go to prison for 800 years.”
“Am I a foreign prisoner?”
“Come on, what are you doing, idiot.”
“I can’t help it.”
“You’re noisy, I’ll kill you. You have no idea what it tastes like to roll an eyeball around on your tongue.”
“You’d be great friends with Hannibal Lecter.”[1]
“Shut up, degenerate.”
“I’m a gentleman.”
Arina turned away and started sulking. She’s becoming a tsundere. With more training, I’m convinced she’ll surpass Unit-02’s pilot.[2]
However, did Arina have a dere side? To be honest, I’m not sure if Arina has all of the elements of a tsundere. The first time she tried to enter while I was changing, she blushed. The next time, I accidentally walked in on Arina changing, and she looked at me with eyes as cold as absolute zero.
Now then, is Arina dere?
—Yes. She is dere.
What I’ve learned from my time with her is that Arina is quite ｢HENTAI｣. She has a strong sense of HENTAI, which is becoming a universal language.[3]
“Arina. Do you know what a tsundere is?”
“I know.”
“You’re a tsundere.”
“Huh? Don’t change the subject. Okay? If you look at the notes, I’ll boil you for real.”
“What should I call you? Come on, tell me.”
“I’ll burn your gums.”
“So cute! You’re so cute! Arina-cha—”
My brain shook violently.
My vision was momentarily cut off. The view turned white, and darkness slowly covered the world. All that remained was the sensation that the brain of Sakaki Sui was shaking violently and heavily.
The world shook much more than an earthquake, and before I had time to be surprised, I collapsed. I saw Arina’s face, her cheeks tinted slightly pink, as time passed on. If you can make that kind of face, you should keep doing it. What a waste.
Arina hit me and gave me a concussion, and I fainted for real. It wasn’t a joke this time. The world really went dark.
I slowly opened my eyes. As I became more aware, the pain in the back of my head became sharper and clearer.
There was a ceiling I didn’t know.
No, I knew it. It was the ceiling of the Rose Garden.
Lying on my said, I turned my head to the right to see Arina resting her cheek on the long desk, watching me with fixed eyes. And I was lying on the desk. It was like my body was being used in a ritual. I wonder if the pillow was a show of mercy.
“Cannibal, are you going to eat me?”
That was the first thing I said.
“You look fine. Good then.”
“I really thought I was dead.”
“I was a little worried.”
“Your tone is like a machine’s.”
I got off the long desk and sat down in the chair for now. Arina was still wearing her dress. It was too glamourous, I wish she’d go back to her uniform. I get nervous every time I look at her and I can’t find a spot to look.
It’s been a while since I’ve been to the Rose Garden. I thought it would’ve been dusty since I’ve been attending the student council meetings for the past few weeks, but it was surprisingly clean.
“Have you been here recently, by any chance?”
“I’ve been here almost every day.”
“Seriously?”
“This is my space.”
Did she come here for lunch? She seems to really like it here.
“It doesn’t seem like you have any friends.”
“Shut up. I just like it here.”
“If you’re lonely, go to Tsuru. She’ll be happy to see you.”
“I’m a wolf.”
“You’re more like a rose.”
“Ahhh, shut up. It’s about time for a break, so I’ll let you go.”
“Be my guest.”
I decided to sleep here since I was tired of walking. However, Arina spoke to me, “Hold on.”
“Let me sleep.”
“No way. Get out of here.”
“Oh, come on. I don’t care how much you like it here, you can’t kick me out. There’s nowhere else to sleep comfortably.”
“I want to change my clothes, though?”
She held a mechanical pencil in her hand. I ran away quickly. My sixth sense sent a danger signal to my entire body.
If I didn’t run away, I would be killed.
I was made aware of how difficult the natural world is.
Notes:
[1] Cannibal serial killer dude
[2] Reference to a certain long red-haired twintailed pilot from Evangelion
[3] Both instances of hentai are in romaji. Also, no, it’s not talking about porn. In Japanese, the word hentai means pervert