My whole body was alert as if I was facing a formidable enemy. Besides the painkillers in my left hand, I was also tightly holding onto a mobile phone in my right.
“You look as if you are entering a battlefield,” Zheng YiJia said with a glance. “Qiao Lang may be shrewd and use extreme means sometimes, but it’s only because he wants to see you.”
“If things were that simple, it would have been better. I’m just afraid that he won’t let go.” I sighed and asked her, “Do you know what happened between me and Qiao Lang?”
“Qiao Yi mentioned it to me briefly before.”
It seemed that a failed relationship would always be made known to all.
Wanting to know what Zheng YiJia thought, I asked, “What do you think?”
“Me?” She laughed, “As a Christian, I don’t believe that same-sex love will be blessed by God and as the sister-in-law of Qiao Lang, I don’t believe that he is someone who can bring you happiness. The people in the Qiao family are too stubborn and focused on their feelings, so once they fall into hatred, they can’t extricate themselves. This is pretty evident when you see the ongoing feud they have over the past. However, from the perspective of a naive and ignorant woman, I can’t help but hope that you can accept him.”
When I heard the last sentence, I was surprised. “Why?”
“Who knows, it’s just a feeling. A long time ago, late at night, I saw him leaning against the window with a yearning expression. He was clearly unhappy and I just felt sad for him. He shouldn’t have come back to Qiao’s family house at all.”
“His feelings for his mother ran deep. ” I continued to say, “I’d rather he have a change of heart. I’m tired and I don’t have the same drive as before to play such a game of love with him again.”
“I understand that very well. When I was young, I made a wish to Santa Claus every year, asking that my father would always be with me. However, when I was 15 years old, I would avoid my father, fearing that he would hold me too tightly. It’s better to never realize a wish than for it to come too late.”
Zheng YiJia’s heart was full of sorrow.
“If you really have no intentions towards Qiao Lang, why not consider my cousin? I’m sure that you already know how he feels for you.”
I stared at Zheng YiJia and feigned a frightened cry, “I hope that you’re just joking. It’s already hard enough to be friends with Chen ErXin. How can we be lovers?”
What I said was not a lie.
Zheng YiJia pursed her lips and chuckled, “So, the harsh words from a man’s mouth could also be as unforgiving.”
She then sighed and nodded to agree, “My cousin is truly not the right person for you. Both of you have a part of your mind that is still stuck in childhood. Both of you also fail in EQ so your relationship will be doomed within three days. It’s only with enough attentiveness and gentleness that your naivety could be protected for a long time.”
“Why does everyone think I’m naive? How am I naive? ” I was starting to suspect that I had a baby face that was making myself appear so.
“You’re neither hypocritical nor pretentious, full of absolute sincerity. You also treat others with all of your heart and soul to the best of your abilities while loving deeply without reservations. Truly naive.”
I replied bitterly, “That’s not naivety but plain foolishness.”
“It’s not that you are a fool but it’s just that you didn’t meet the right person that would cherish you.” She suddenly lowered her voice and gently said, “Being naive is not stupid as the greatest fools are the ones who are too conscientious.”
Zheng YiJia didn’t want to see Qiao Yi, so I could only let her wait outside.
The first person I saw was Qiao Yi. He was sitting alone in the hall with his bare feet propped comfortably on the glass coffee table. None of the servants were around.
I went up to greet him.
Unsurprised by my appearance, he responded sluggishly, “Welcome back to the Qiao family residence.”
When he looked up, I saw that there was a dark ring around his left eye, his cheek was slightly swollen, and there were bruises on the corners of his mouth. Looking at the marks, it should have been several days since he was hurt.
I mocked him, “I haven’t seen you for just a few days so how come your whole face is disfigured?”
He remained unvexed and just gave me a glance.
“I had underestimated your position in Qiao Lang’s heart.” Qiao Yi held his head in one hand, and recalled, “That day, he found out that you went missing and grabbed my collar furiously, thinking that I was the one who hid you. When I told him that you were the one who wanted to leave, he didn’t believe it, so we started fighting. It’s really unthinkable that two men were fighting each other for another man!”
He frowned as if he could not bear to recall what happened.
“It’s clear that you two have been feuding for a long time and can’t stand the sight of one another. It’s not the first time that both of you wanted to beat each other up so there is no need to use me as the excuse.”
Everyone always tended to look for excuses, but were never willing to face their own inner darkness.
Qiao Yi was unable to refute my words.
He raised his hand. “Qiao Lang is waiting for you in the study. He has been very angry these days so I can’t help you.”
He looked like he was in pain.
I thanked him and walked to the study.
“Besides, your new hat is so ugly,” Qiao Yi teased me behind my back, trying to have the last word.
Initially, I didn’t want to respond but after a few steps, I went back to him and said, “Zheng YiJia was the one who drove me here today. Now, she is just outside the main gate.”
Qiao Yi’s face changed. I could see him fidgeting and felt quite satisfied.
I thought that if he rushed out now, there could be a possibility of a new start between them.
I stood outside the study and knocked at the door. When no one answered, I took the liberty of pushing it open and went inside.
Qiao Lang was sitting there without any light in the room. It made me wonder how he could bear the gloom.
I reached for the wall to turn on the light but he immediately stopped me, “Don’t turn on the light.” However, it was too late, and with a flash, the light was on.
Seeming to be in a dilemma, Qiao Lang placed his hand over his head. As I fixed my eyes on him, I realized that his whole face was full of colorful markings and his state was not much better than Qiao Yi. These two brothers were really ruthless. He hit him in the left eye, so the other had to do it back to his right eye too.
Isn’t this great? Two people each had a black eye, a left and a right, how symmetrical.
It was also strange that upon seeing Qiao Lang’s panicked state, I suddenly felt myself relaxing.
He still had a bit of that childishness I once knew.
I went to him and said, “Now that I’m here, can you let Chen ErXin leave?”
Qiao Lang finally returned to normal. He put down the hand that was covering his face and asked, “Why did you just leave without saying anything?”
I rebutted, “Would you let me go if I had told you in advance?”
He gazed at me. “You know that I meant no harm.”
“Most of the behaviors that cause pain to others are unintentional,” I said. “I’m entitled to my own personal freedom, and you have no right to restrict me.”
“I’m just hoping that you can forgive me, four years ago——”
“It’s now four years later,” I interrupted. “Besides, I’ve already said that I’ve forgiven you a long time ago. There is no need for me to spend so much effort bearing grudges on an insignificant person for four years.”
To me, he had already become someone insignificant for a long time.
I then said, “Qiao Lang, there’s no possibility between us. I’m not the person for you so it’s time for you to let go.”
“Four years ago, you rejected me like this. However, in the end you were still willing to accept me.”
Qiao Lang was still composed, not believing my resolution at all.
“Yes, I accepted you and I have regretted it till now. At that time I chose you, but there can be no second time. Now I won’t commit the same error again.”
I had made myself very clear that there was no room for return.
“When I met you, it was shortly after my mother had passed away. I was penniless, had no place to live and there was no one who even wanted to take more than a single glance at me. For some time, I thought that I would sink and never return. You are the only one who was willing to reach out to me. Besides you, no one is willing to treat me so sincerely, so I won’t let go. ” Qiao Lang was surprisingly calm when he continued to say, “I’ll keep waiting whether it’s one day, two days, or a lifetime.”
I was stunned by the gaze of his eyes. He wasn’t joking.
I managed to obtain a person who I had waited too long for – a person who would love me. However, I just felt exhausted. I didn’t have the courage I used to have to be as reckless for that one person anymore.
I finally told him, “You can wait but that’s your own business. Please don’t interfere in my life anymore.”
Qiao Lang clenched his hand tightly into a fist. For a long time, he smiled gently at me, “No, Pei, I won’t let you leave me.”
Finally I got angry, stood up suddenly, and gave him an intense look.
However, Qiao Lang just gazed at me calmly, remaining unmoved.