The first time I received treatment, I vomited badly, only feeling that the sun and moon were indistinguishable, and heaven and earth would come together.
I sat weakly on the bed with a pale enough complexion to star in ghost movies.
Meng SiQi, who sat next to me, patted me on the back and comforted me, “Vomiting and nausea are normal signs. They will soon pass.”
“This kind of treatment is really suitable for females. On one hand, it can remove a whole body of hair. On the other hand, it has a perfect slimming effect. Its effects are absolutely comparable to that of various mysterious drugs, and there are countless predecessors who are successful examples.” Even my speaking was feeble.
Meng SiQi laughed. “You still have the strength to spout nonsense!”
Before he finished his words, I was already rushing to the washroom. My world was once again turned upside down, wishing that I could just empty all my organs in one shot and be fully cleansed.
I told Meng SiQi, “It’s only now that I understand all mothers are great. Besides talking about carrying the baby for ten months, vomiting alone is already a disaster. From now on, we should be kind to women, and thank them for paying such a high price for the continuation of mankind.”
Meng SiQi took my hand and said, “Before being kind to others, you must first learn to be kind to yourself.”
“You remind me of my mother. You sound just like her, making me miss her very much. When I was young, she would hold my hand like this and talk to me gently.”
Meng SiQi said solemnly, “Your comparison can stop here. I don’t want you to treat me as your mother!”
I laughed and fell onto the bed.
Meng SiQi then gently covered me with the blanket and laid down by my side.
As the two pairs of eyes met each other, I felt that Meng SiQi, who had taken off his glasses, had a pair of very good-looking eyes.
He said, “You can sleep for a while. If there’s anything you want to eat, I’ll buy it for you.”
As a dish came to my mind immediately, I replied, “Mushroom beef porridge.”
“Ok.”
I thought about it again and shook my head. “I’d better not have mushroom beef porridge.”
“Why did you change your mind?”
I replied, “It was something that I used to like to eat, and it took me too long to realize that it was unsuitable. Now, I want to have a change of taste. You can help me make up my mind.”
Meng SiQi smiled gently. “Then I will make a pot of red-skin peanut and lotus root porridge for you to supplement your blood platelets.”
I nodded. “That sounds good.”
Sleepiness was gradually engulfing me, drowning my will to stay awake.
I called for Meng SiQi softly, “Meng SiQi.”
“Yes, I’m here.”
“If I survive, I’ll date you.”
Meng SiQi stared at me, lost in thought for a long time.
Gradually unable to stop myself, my eyelids also drooped.
He scooted closer to me, took me into his arms, and put my head on his chest.
He said, “I won’t let you die, so don’t forget what you said.” His voice sounded as if it came from my distant dreams.
“Ok.” I drowsily promised him, “I will live on and not die.”
Chen ErXin called me. I had thought that he would ignore me.
When I picked up the phone though, I heard a calm female voice that I had heard from somewhere before.
“Is this Mr. Pei JiYu? I’m Zheng YiJia, Chen ErXin’s cousin.”
Ah, so it’s her.
I asked uncertainly, “Is Chen ErXin looking for me? Where is he?”
She replied, “I’m the one looking for you. I want to talk to you about my cousin.”
I was hesitant as I didn’t know her very well and only met her once. I didn’t even know what Chen ErXin was thinking at that time.
After thinking for a moment, I said hesitantly, “My father is seriously ill in the hospital, and I can’t leave.”
Zheng YiJia immediately answered, “Then I’ll go find you there.”
Now I really had nothing to say.
So, after greeting my father’s nurse, I put on my coat and went downstairs.
As soon as I left the hospital building, I saw Zheng YiJia looking up at the sky, lost in thought. Today, she wore a sage green wool coat with her hair tied up behind her head. Her appearance was very clean and concise, unlike the decadent and sorrowful look she had on the day we met. Looking like an ordinary young woman, I could hardly recognize her at the moment.
According to Chen ErXin, she was one year younger than him, which meant that she was no more than twenty-five. It was a pity that she had a pair of eyes that aged way too early to betray her.
Her complexion was also still haggard and tired. She was as thin as a withered tree, standing under the sky. When she saw me coming, she gave me a kind smile.
I asked, “Did you wait for a long time? Why don’t we speak inside?”
Zheng YiJia shook her head. “The smell of the hospital reminds me of bad memories, so here is fine.”
She took out her cigarette case, pulled out one, and lit it.
I tried to persuade her, “You haven’t fully recovered, so you shouldn’t smoke.”
“Compared to my body, my heart needs more comfort.” She continued, “Or are you doing this for yourself? Do you dislike women smoking? Such male chauvinism.” She laughed.
I thought about it and nodded, “Besides for my own sake, I also hope that you don’t smoke. I have cancer and am now undergoing treatment.”
Zheng YiJia was stunned and apologized immediately, “Sorry, I didn’t know. My cousin also didn’t tell me about it.” She also put out her cigarette.
“Because I didn’t tell him about it.”
Not understanding, she asked, “Why?”
I replied, “Perhaps this kind of thing can be freely confided to outsiders, but hard to say to familiar relatives and friends.”
“You should tell him. If my cousin discovers that you’re hiding this from him, he’ll kill you.” Zheng YiJia smiled bitterly, “He already grew so big and yet, is still a troublesome child with a bad temper.”
I couldn’t help laughing, as I could imagine Chen ErXin’s flustered and exasperated appearance while searching for me to settle his dues.
I then asked, “Why are you looking for me today?”
“Qiao Lang took away my cousin.”
“What!” I was shocked by her words.
“I went back to the Qiao’s house, and he said that he wanted to discuss it with you.” Zheng YiJia looked dispirited, so I guessed she must have met Qiao Yi there.
“I had implicated Chen ErXin. I didn’t expect Qiao Lang to react so drastically.”
It was because of me again. I thought that Qiao Lang had fully understood that the past was the past, and he couldn’t push everything away to start over again. How could there be so many such wonderful things in the world?
Despite that, she comforted me, “You don’t have to blame yourself. My cousin will be fine in the Qiao’s house. Qiao Lang is also not a bad man, he just wants to see you.”
“Qiao Yi said that Qiao Lang was a devil who destroyed the Qiao family.” On the contrary, Zheng YiJia instead said that he was not a bad guy.
Zheng YiJia understood what was going on and said, “It is Qiao Yi who is unwilling to face reality. Since a long time ago, the Qiao family has been full of problems, and Qiao Lang was only a catalyst that revealed everyone’s true state ahead of time.”
“But Qiao Yi said that his father had a car accident, his mother had committed suicide, and his sister became mentally unsound——”
“For a long time, my mother-in-law had an affair with another. My father-in-law then agreed to divorce her, but she refused and threatened suicide. Who knew that it would end up with her death. My father-in-law was also hit because the opposite driver was drunk driving. In the end, my sister-in-law became unsound because she had lost both of her parents overnight. She had always lived under the shadow of her parents since she was a child and was timid. All of this has nothing to do with Qiao Lang.” She continued, “As a bystander, I was the one who saw it the most clearly. Qiao Lang definitely doesn’t have the best intentions, and I don’t believe that the Qiao’s family affairs have nothing to do with him, but it would be unfair to blame him. There’s always a cause and a result, so people should always be responsible for their actions. However, Qiao Yi doesn’t think so, and he has always blamed Qiao Lang with all his heart.”
When I saw her that day, I thought she was an abandoned woman who only knew how to cry and complain. However, it appeared that she was someone who was aware of what was going on around her.
I couldn’t help telling her, “Actually, Qiao Yi has his own difficulties for abandoning you.”
Zheng YiJia took on a surprised look at me and said softly, “Naturally, he has his problems, but what does it have to do with me? All I know is that I crossed the sea, abandoned everything to marry him, and in the end, he abandoned me. What’s the use of knowing his troubles? Do I have to forgive him for everything just because of his troubles?”
She suddenly cried and scolded, “Fuck his troubles, I will never forgive that idiot. He had abandoned me today, and he’ll regret this for all his life in the future. I curse that he will have no woman that would love him for the rest of his life! He can guard at the Qiao’s house and fight with his brother until he is old or dead, forever depressed and lonely!”
I was really frightened by this woman.
When a woman gets angry, she really was ruthless.
She then suddenly felt sad again and whispered, “Those who have difficulties are the most hateful, as they may think that it’s like a shield, and hurt others recklessly. One’s own pain is not the reason to hurt others, so I will not forgive him. I’ve been married to him for five years, and I have seen everything in the Qiao’s family. In fact, I can guess his purpose. But what does he think I am when he thinks he is so self-righteous, doing everything for my own good? I’d rather pretend I didn’t know anything and probably only forgive him when I stop loving him.”
Sometimes it’s not enough just to have love and understanding. The gap in the heart has to be refilled with time. Once the wound is healed, love will no longer exist.
I suddenly became worried for Qiao Yi. Even if one day he suddenly regretted what he did, Zheng YiJia would not be waiting for him.
There would be no other person in the world who would ever love him that deeply anymore.