Chapter 27

Editor: mako

Proofreader: jlycen

In the afternoon, I went to a barbershop.

The barber was young, but he grew a little beard on his chin, making him look neither fish nor fowl ¹ This is an idiom that was used to describe things that were neither one thing nor another/not recognizable or characteristic of any one particular thing. .

He asked me, “Mister, what kind of haircut do you want? To perm or to dye? The prices in our shop are the most reasonable and are worth every cent you pay for. My skills are also very good, and many of my customers end up returning…”

I interrupted his ceaseless chatter, “I want to shave all my hair off.”

“Shaved?” For a moment, the barber was so taken aback that his hands stopped moving. “You don’t want a single strand of hair left?”

I nodded and repeated, “Not even one.”

He laughed awkwardly. “This customer is really different from everyone else. Actually, a shaved head is this year’s trend. In last season’s Milan Fashion Show, there were also models who walked down the catwalk with a shaved head…”

“I just want to become a monk in the Shaolin Temple. I hope that the abbot will be able to feel my sincerity with this.” I gave him a wink.

Hearing that, the barber finally shut his mouth and shaved off my hair quickly.

When I headed to the front desk to pay, I attracted many people’s attention.

Outside, I couldn’t avoid my confrontation with the cold wind. With my whole head exposed to the wind, it was as if someone had opened my skull and poured ice water into it.

Left with no choice, I entered a department store along the way and bought a yarn beanie to wear on my head.

Managing to arrive back at the hospital by the evening, I went to see Meng SiQi first.

I took off my hat to show him my latest hairstyle and joked, “In the future, you can use the reflection of my bald head and save the money used to buy a mirror.”

Meng SiQi laughed in shock. “JiYu, what are you doing? Why did you shave off all your hair?”

“Since all my hair will soon fall off, it will be better to have it all gone in one go than to see them stuck in the comb in bunches. Lingchi ² “凌迟” (lingchi) used here was translated to “slow process” or “death by a thousand cuts”. It refers to a form of torture and execution used in ancient China where a person’s flesh was cut from the body in many slices, leading to a slow and painful death. Here, JiYu was comparing the slow and drawn-out process of his hair dropping to this torture. is the most frightening thing.”

My treatment was scheduled for tomorrow, but I was unsure if I was ready.

Meng SiQi, who was looking at an X-ray film, heard this and laughed. “After the treatment, the hair will still grow out even thicker and blacker than before. You can be reassured about this.”

Naturally, it needs to grow out. Otherwise, wouldn’t the patient become a barren land forever after recovery? Besides, without any hair, what could they do? It was like asking a girl who loved her own beauty to die.

I suddenly asked, “Since hair can grow back, can a person grow another heart if his died?”

Meng SiQi immediately realized something was wrong. He put down the film and asked me, “Who have you met today?”

I remained silent.

I was still afraid of exposing my ugly sides to him.

Seeing that I refused to answer, Meng SiQi sighed. “One cannot grow another heart, and that’s because no one’s heart will truly die. As long as you continue to live in this world, your heart will not die.”

He gazed at me quietly through his spectacle lenses. “Sometimes, you may think that your heart has turned into ashes, but in fact, it’s just injured, and time will heal the wound. Your heart is not dead. It’s still beating in your chest alive, strong and powerful.”

I rubbed my chest. He was right. It was still strongly beating and not yet dead.

I looked down at the X-ray film that he had placed on the table. As it was something that showed the internal organs of the human body, it looked gloomy.

I told him, “How powerful the X-ray is, to be able to see almost through everything, but not one’s heart.”

He told me with a smile, “People’s hearts are too complicated, and sometimes, one may not be able to see their own hearts clearly either. I have a male patient whose girlfriend’s family immigrated to the United States and wanted to break up with him. The next day, out of the blue, he found out that there was a tumor in his body after undergoing a hospital examination. So, he called his ex-girlfriend to say a final goodbye. However, when she heard the news, she cried painfully over the phone. In the end, she was the one who had to be comforted.”

“That man has really bad luck.” His bad luck could almost rival mine.

However, Meng SiQi gently shook his head. “In actuality, what he had was just a benign tumor that can be removed with a small operation. On the day he was discharged, his ex-girlfriend accompanied him. When I told them everything was ok, the girl burst into tears on the spot, grabbed the patient’s arm, and said, ‘I will never leave you again.’ My patient was disconsolate and advised her, ‘The visa has already been created, so don’t say anything foolish. America is also very good, don’t be willful.’ The girl focused her gaze on him and replied, ‘How good can America be? There are just skyscrapers under the blue sky and white clouds. Going there also means I have to spend three years of my life there. These days, I’ve thought clearly. I can’t bear to lose you, so I want to stay.’ They ended up getting married with children last year, and I even received an invitation.”

I sighed emotionally. “Such a pair of lucky people. It’s a blessing in disguise where everyone obtained happiness in the end.”

Meng SiQi asked, “Then, do you know Zhang MingTang?”

“Who is he?”

“There’s a well-known rich businessman in this city who now lives on the top floor of our hospital. When he found out, there wasn’t much time left.”

In my mind, I searched carefully and remembered there was a Mr. Zhang in the ward next to my father. I had stayed on the top floor for many days but only saw nurses coming in and out, seldom seeing relatives and friends visiting.

“Before Mr. Zhang slipped into a coma, he had yet to make a will. He has three sons and two daughters, who at this time are a hot topic in the major newspapers. There’s major strife among them. That is, they would not hesitate to do anything in order to obtain that little bit more of inheritance. It was pitiful that the poor old man had already been completely forgotten despite having not been buried.”

I sighed.

“I was once invited to a gathering of the Zhang family. At that time, the family was harmonious and happy. The father was affectionate, the sons were filial, and the children were respectful to each other. Who knew there would be such a day.” Meng SiQi was also emotional. “The human heart is so unpredictable. It’s only until the last moment that it reveals its true state. One may paint a tiger’s skin well, but it’s hard to draw its bones ³ The author used “画虎画皮难画骨” which means that it may be easy to draw a tiger’s outer appearance but difficult to capture its true state (essentially meaning that knowing someone is easy but truly understanding a person is difficult). . It’s been true since ancient times that we may know someone, but not their hearts.”

I was scared stiff by his expression. “Hey, what’s with the ‘we may know someone, but not their hearts’? How is this comforting me when you’re frightening me?”

However, he just smiled at me. “I didn’t say that I’m comforting you. I just want to tell you that people’s hearts are complicated, and you yourself may not be able to see it clearly. So don’t come to a conclusion so early, and you should at least give me a chance.”

In the end, I was once again moved by him.

In the evening, when Lu QingFan came to the hospital to visit Father, he saw my new hairstyle and frowned.

“What the hell are you doing now?”

I rubbed the smooth top of my head and asked, “I’m preparing to convert to Buddhism and follow the ancient scriptures eternally ⁴ Here JiYu said “永伴青灯古卷” which probably means to follow the path of a Buddhist monk, to read scriptures under the oil lamp for life. . What do you think?”

There was not a single word of truth in my words.

The gaze Lu QingFan gave me felt as if he wanted to swallow me.

He asked, “How’s Father?”

“The times where he’s awake is getting lesser. It’s fortunate, as he will not feel pain in his dreams.”

When Lu QingFan arrived at his bedside, Father’s eyes were closed, and there was a sign of a smile at the corner of his mouth.

“He doesn’t have to hold other people’s hands anymore,” I said. “He’s happy now, more than all the happiness he’s had in the past ten years. He may have everything, but in the end, it’s only a dream that can make him happy. Sometimes, people just simply desire this much, but they don’t know it, and on the contrary, seek fish out of trees and pursue many other unnecessary things in vain.”

Lu QingFan was silent.

When he left, he suddenly asked me, “What really happened between you and He Li?”

I was stunned.

Lu QingFan continued to say, “He took advantage of the Pei family’s troubled times, and frequently attacked the Pei family’s industry secretly. The Pei and He families have always minded their own business, each going their own way. I guess that the issue this time has something to do with you.”

When I heard his words, I couldn’t help but feel a headache and cradled my head. “I’ll find him as soon as possible to make it clear.”

I’d never thought that He Li was such a person who couldn’t afford to let go.

Lu QingFan looked at me attentively for a moment. “No, you don’t have to meet with him again. I can resolve this problem.”

I replied, “I’m so sorry to have given you so much trouble at such a time.”

“If you have time to apologize, why don’t you be mature at the beginning and don’t provoke people you shouldn’t.”

I hung my head and listened to his reprimand, as it was truly my fault.

A person could be naive all his life, and there was nothing wrong with it. However, if his naivety implicated others around him, it was not right.

One should not do things without any care for its implications.

If you hurt yourself, you have only yourself to blame; if you involve others, you will be guilty of a crime for which even death cannot atone. This was the truth.

Lu QingFan suddenly sighed gently, “Your complexion does not look good, so you should pay attention to resting properly.”

I raised my head, wanting to capture the fleeting tenderness from this familiar face. However,  in front of me was still the distant and indifferent Lu QingFan, whose eyes were cold and dark with no light.

Despite that, I felt no disappointment.

1

This is an idiom that was used to describe things that were neither one thing nor another/not recognizable or characteristic of any one particular thing. 2

“凌迟” (lingchi) used here was translated to “slow process” or “death by a thousand cuts”. It refers to a form of torture and execution used in ancient China where a person’s flesh was cut from the body in many slices, leading to a slow and painful death. Here, JiYu was comparing the slow and drawn-out process of his hair dropping to this torture. 3

The author used “画虎画皮难画骨” which means that it may be easy to draw a tiger’s outer appearance but difficult to capture its true state (essentially meaning that knowing someone is easy but truly understanding a person is difficult). 4

Here JiYu said “永伴青灯古卷” which probably means to follow the path of a Buddhist monk, to read scriptures under the oil lamp for life.