I'm Handsome: (Sent over a taobao address, a bedding item) I bought it! What should I do, there's no New Year atmosphere to it?
[2 minutes later, Hang Hang still did not typing]
I'm Handsome: Keep laughing, I know that you're laughing at my taste.
Love 123: Uh…
I'm Handsome: Don't hold back lol
Love 123: I won't comment on this.
I'm Handsome: I don't know why I bought it, it's terrible.
Love 123: I don't either.
I'm Handsome: …(T.T)
Love 123: Reminds me of farmhouse inn
I'm Handsome: f.u.c.k! You…
Love 123: …
I'm Handsome: I'm mad.
Love 123: I, I, I…
I'm Handsome: (T.T)
Love 123: wipe wipe
I'm Handsome: Farmhouse inn
Love 123: =.=
I'm Handsome: Really?
Love 123: Forget it, ok
I'm Handsome: But, but…I…
Love 123: Forget it, forget it, forget it
I'm Handsome: Deeply hurt
Love 123: =.=
I'm Handsome: Bursts into tears
Love 123: Feels helpless…
I'm Handsome: Cries harder
Love 123: Handkerchief completely soaked…no way to wipe…
I'm Handsome: 5555555555
Love 123: Quick, stop crying
I'm Handsome: Farmhouse inn! Mutters to self
Love 123: Don't cry lol =.=
I'm Handsome: In tears!
Love 123: The quilt looks good, yeah. The comforter looks so cozy.
I'm Handsome: It's one set =.= It's got polka dots on the inside
Love 123: What?
I'm Handsome: …
Love 123: =.= shudders
I'm Handsome: Ah, pillows are two sided…
Love 123: Uh, it's like that farmhouse inn, but it's also a fas.h.i.+on trend…
I'm Handsome: You!
Love 123: It's popular with the wealthy
I'm Handsome: You!
Love 123: If I'd known, I would've helped you pick out bedding
I'm Handsome: You, you, you
Love 123: Me…Now what (T.T)
I'm Handsome: You're way harsh
Love 123: =.=
I'm Handsome: You still don't let people live
Love 123: I don't
I'm Handsome: Is my taste that bad?
Love 123: How do I answer you, ah. Sigh
Farmhouse Inn – Beijing Slang – During the week long golden holidays, people often cannot find hotels in popular sites, so some farmers will lend their houses to tourists, which are cheaper than normal hotels. Tourists can also eat with the farmer’s family and do farmer ch.o.r.es for fun. Nowadays, some company invest into this new trend, by setting up their hotels to look exact like the country side house style (like the above) to lure in customers, their logo is “to experience the life of a farmer” where it’s just a logo; not really the true farmer lifestyle =.=
Hang Hang rubbed his forehead, and stared back at the screen…he could no longer tolerate looking at the bedding photo and just shut down his computer.
It was a big mistake to let that Idiot go home. Â For him, if he still cherished his life, he should stay away from TaoBao. That place is quite lethal with its many choices. He could not stop him from going home since Liang Ze said that he could not write anything with his (Hang Hang's) computer. He really did not know whether it was an excuse or if he really did have such an issue. Anyway, it had only been a week since he went back home. Â Yet every day he kept on asking if this is good or if that is better, like he does not trust his own opinions.
Liang Ze cheerfully sent messages, and Hang Hang looked at them, until finally there was a sensible one. Liang Ze asked what time he could come over.
Today was the 31st of December, New Year's Eve.
Thinking about this past Christmas, Hang Hang felt a little depressed. It was such a romantic day. On Friday, Hang Hang had reserved a table at a restaurant and also bought a scarf as present for Liang Ze, beautifully gift wrapped. It is not easy to make a reservation during the holidays because it was such a precious time with such a romantic atmosphere. What ended up happening in the end?
Liang Ze got there half an hour late. As he rushed into the restaurant in a panic, he looked conspicuously around the place until he saw Hang Hang – – –  his hand was patting a thick envelope; his shoes were covered in mud.
Well, if it were just that, Hang Hang could have just overlooked it – – – obviously inside the thick envelope was the ma.n.u.script, and since it was snowing outside, the envelope was soaked, and his shoes also got dirty. Liang Ze did not dare to drive in such weather. – – All right, he could tolerate that. But the Idiot seemed to be in a rush, immediately asking as he sat down, "It's so snowy outside, why didn’t you wait for me at the pet store? Why ask me to meet you here,so far away from the publis.h.i.+ng house? One is on the East side while the other is on the West side. See how exhausted I am?"
Honestly speaking, Hang Hang was really in a bad mood. Â He had been sitting there alone like a fool for half an hour! He nicely tried to set a romantic mood, yet he was being attacked for his kindness. Casting pearls before swine!*
{Translator input: to offer something valuable or good to someone who does not know its value}
Next, Liang Ze made Hang Hang feel even more aggrieved — he rudely grabbed the menu, read it, and said, "I'm getting tired of Western food. Do you like it?"
Hang Hang's hand clenched into a fist under the table. The girl sitting at the next table had been staring at them the whole time. Up until this point, he had been able to grit his teeth and try to endure.
He vented his anger on his meal. Â Once he was done, he turned, smiled gently and started to ask: Do you know why I deliberately asked you to come here?
Liang Ze, eating his dessert, replied nonchalantly: I know, it's for the Christmas thing!
f.u.c.k! Hang Hang could feel the boiling blood rus.h.i.+ng through his veins. It is forgivable if he did not know, but it is really hateful that he knew it and yet still acted in such way!
Liang Ze unknowingly added fuel into fire: See, you're acting like a girl, frantically wanting to follow along with those foreign holidays.
All the happiness Hang Hang felt bringing the beautiful, gift-wrapped scarf had turned to disappointment as he now left, taking the scarf back with him. As he paid the bill, his dangerously solemn face made the frightened waiter s.h.i.+ver =.=
At night time, if it was not for Liang Ze making a turn into Yan Dai Xie Street, Hang Hang swore that he would stop paying any attention to this Idiot.
That night Liang Ze gave up his body as an apology. Hang Hang told himself that at least Liang Ze got the picture!
***
The phone rang, Hang Hang woke out of his thoughts, picked up the phone, and saw the caller ID: Liang Ze.
Now he wants to play talking over the phone?
"h.e.l.lo?"
"Shuaige! You left me hanging for half a day already!"
"Ah. Oh, I got distracted for a moment."
"I'm going out now, don't wait for me."
"Ah? Why are you going out?"
"To take a trip to Y Magazine to collect my remuneration, Â I also want look around for stuff."
"What do you want to buy?"
"Ah, I'm not shopping for clothes. I just want to find some decorations for the house."
"Ah?"
"That is…I made you angry at Christmas, so I want to make it up to you."
Hang Hang felt his heart warming. Dead wood can be resuscitated when it meets with Spring. Unfortunately, he became happy…too early. Or he was being blinded by joy.
When Liang Ze got home, he and Aunt Li, the housekeeper, worked for hours, polis.h.i.+ng the whole house until it gleamed. Even the gla.s.s windows were so sparkly clean they looked as if there was no gla.s.s there. When Aunt Li saw Liang Ze dragging over several big bags, she wanted to ask what they were and whether he needed some help to organize them, but before she could ask, Liang Ze said it first, "Aunt Li, give me a hand, I have to put these lights up for decoration."
"Lights?" Aunt Li asked in a surprised tone.
"Yes, some can be put up, and some need to be a.s.sembled first."
"Oh?"
"You hang up this kind, and  I'll a.s.semble the others."
"Sounds good."
"There are some flowers and some ornaments. First, let's put the lights up."
Liang Ze and Aunt Li worked on the decorations until eight o'clock in the evening. The whole house then…you can imagine that it was really bizarre and totally chaotic. All my dear readers, you and I must be shaking our heads like a rattle-drum, right? =.= {Translator Note: This sentence is from the author herself. She added this in the original text ^^}
Rattle-drum
After Aunt Li left, Liang Ze sat down on the mahogany chair in his living room and took a look at his house. Ah, this cannot be expressed just with the word 'satisfaction?" It is beyond satisfaction!
He just simply sat there and appreciated his masterpiece for a long time, thinking: Shuaige will be so happy. I've never done anything this romantic for my previous girlfriends! At around ten o'clock, the Huai Yang restaurant downstairs delivered the meal, and Liang Ze broke his reverie of admiration for his work =.=
On one hand busying himself with the task, on the other hand he secretly admiring his dedication — he really did try his best! This was the first time he tried to make someone happy.
Since meeting Hang Hang, to be honest, Liang Ze often felt very confused. He felt that he did like Hang Hang, he also liked being with Hang Hang. It was just that, sometimes…it felt weird.  Just like in his writing, he had described his previous girlfriends a few times before, like how they always asked whether you want to eat strawberries, if you though my dress was ugly or not, or whether you could give me money to buy a ticket to x.x.x concert. In short, they always had a reason to come to bother him. Liang Ze did not really care. He just did not bother to listen or to take a look at anything, only doing what he should be doing, not even trying to think twice about the matter. He always saw them as a wife, so he did not feel that he was being rude or too much. But it was different with Hang Hang. Hang Hang would never bother him. Hang Hang was very quiet. Even when they were watching a movie together, he would be sitting by his side quietly. Yet Liang Ze felt very uncomfortable, ah, uncomfortable, and awkward. He felt he was looking at this from an outsider's view. He felt very uncomfortable and could not shake it off. Take eating out for, example. Before, it was 'you eat your food, I eat mine.' But these days, Hang Hang always liked to place his favorite food into his bowl. Liang Ze thought that was good too, but not as good as having girls placing his favorite into his bowl. Another example was s.e.x. It was obvious that he was like a vigorous wolf before, always with pa.s.sionate tricks up his sleeves, but being with Hang Hang he had become a lazy worm, just too relaxed, and…apart from the stimulation of  s.e.x, he had no other feeling. And there were still other things, besides.
All of those things made Liang Ze feel uneasy, but he did not know how to solve it. After thinking it through, he decided to give himself some time.
He told himself, as long as he believes that he likes him, that is enough.
Having made it all the way to this point, he should just follow it through and try to do his best.
Hang Hang pulled his car into the courtyard, went up the stairs and knocked on the door.
The door was opened quickly, and the room was pitch dark. If not for the corridor voice-activated light, he would not have seen Liang Ze standing at the door. But Hang Hang had not recovered from the shock of the darkness before he was being welcomed by another rigid shock — loud thundering pops of fireworks, and then overwhelmed by rapidly falling ribbons, sequins…
If it was not that Hang Hang was certain he had not gone to the wrong door, if it was not for this night, if it was not for the big red character "ĺ–ś" (happy) on the door, he definitely would have thought he had strayed into the home of a bride that is about to be married to her groom =.=
The shock was followed by another shock. Once again, the ribbons had completely fallen down. Shaking off the sequins, Hang Hang had not yet recovered from the shock when — all the lights turned on. Oh mother, the lights were flas.h.i.+ng on and off, were wrapping around every item in the house including  all the furniture.  Even Liang Ze's collection was wrapped in flas.h.i.+ng lights. It was no different than entering h.e.l.l. It was worse than h.e.l.l.  There were some strange decorative items hanging off on the colorful body of the lights =.=
This is the first time in his life, Hang Hang knew what fear is.
"Shuaige! Happy New Year's Eve!" Liang Ze went straight to Hang Hang with his smiling face, with the colorful dangling fireworks in his hands.
"Let's first close the door…" Hang Hang silently told himself, I'm not afraid, I'm a young man with a strong heart. If at this moment an auntie were to pa.s.s by, they would die from shock =.=
"You don't have to feel so touched. This is nothing." Liang Ze was satisfied with Hang Hang's surprised expression. He did not know that Hang Hang was being scared off.
"Yeah…" What else could Hang Hang say?
"The dinner is from Huai Yang. Do you like it?" Seeing Hang Hang sitting down at the table, Liang Ze happily asked.
"I like it. Very good. Very light." Hang Hang had not yet gotten his mind off this h.e.l.l hole created by this ignorant Idiot.
"Let's have some wine. I've just heated it up."
Looking at the transparent liquid being poured into the small porcelain cup, Hang Hang made an effort to adapt to the garish lights in this place. It was obvious that the Idiot did not plan to turn on the overhead lights until they were done with dinner.
"The lightning is wonderful, right?" Liang Ze chewed on his chopsticks as he enjoyed the meal.
Hang Hang forced himself to nod. Regarding aesthetic sense, he was afraid that they would never be on the same level. He should make effort to look for common ground in other areas.
When they finished dinner, Hang Hang could feel his vision beginning to flash on and off just like those flas.h.i.+ng lights. Even his brain started to have its own dance party. If his conscience had not been strong enough, he would have fainted right then and there. This was more lively than any party.
"Shuaige, I'm turning on the overhead lights, without them I can't clean up the table," Liang Ze said as he went to the light switch.
"Turn them on! Turn them on!" Hang Hang was very excited. Â It could be compared to how people living in Hunan or Chenzhou region during a power outage due to heavy snow were so excited the moment the lights came on.
When the fluorescent light turned on, Hang Hang felt like he was now back on Earth.
"Eh, don't move. I'll wash all the dishes." Liang Ze poked out his head from the kitchen.
Hang Hang looked at him, suddenly finding himself trapped. He had come to like this Idiot beyond the imagination of any kind of love. Therefore, he could endure as much destruction.
After finis.h.i.+ng with the clean-up, the two had fruit for dessert and watched a movie. Liang Ze picked a comedy movie ent.i.tled "The Nine Sesame Officers." his body shaking violently due to laughter, even pounding his hand on the table. When the actors said this line: what if I jump out ah, you'll hit me, hit me ah, huh huh…Liang Ze,laughing like crazy, stood up and copied the action. He kept on repeating the lines and never got tired of it: "Hit me, hit me, hit me ah." When the comedy was at its climax, the Idiot paused it. "Shuaige, you should act along with me, we should have fun to our heart’s content in New Year's Eve, right?"
Hang Hang sat on the sofa and replied unwillingly, "I've never been asked that before."
"Ha Ha Ha Ha…" Liang Ze jumped onto the sofa and, wrapping his arms around Hang Hang's neck, cried, "Shuaige, I really like you!" and smooched.
Hang Hang scooted his body backward, at the same time placing his hand on the remote control and pressing it so that the lively TV show continued to play background. When it was time to 'shut the gate, put out the dog,"* Hang Hang quickly pulled down Liang Ze's pants.
[Proofreader Note: "Shut the gate, put out the dog" is a popular quote from the movie our boys were watching. Â It means to close for the night]
"The bedroom, okay? There's a surprise." Liang Ze beamed his eyes at Hang Hang.
Hang Hang got a s.h.i.+ver. Surprise for me? If there is going to be more flas.h.i.+ng lights, I really can't just sit still =.= Liang Ze jumped up and headed straight to the bedroom.
Fortunately, everything was good. Heaven above did not bless him with double misfortune in one day. They have been considerate of Hang Hang for today.
Liang Ze dragged his feet towards the wall socket and put in a plug. Moonlight reflected on crystal clear gla.s.s, brightly highlighting four characters — I Love the Shop Owner.
Hang Hang cracked up and pulled Liang Ze into a kiss. "This gift is not so bad."
"Yup, and it's not bad, right?You can see it anywhere within a five mile radius."
"…"
Hang Hang pressed Liang Ze down on the bed, quickly removing the last c.u.mbersome clothes. Their lips were glued to each other like sticking glue, they were about to carry out the next step when Hang Hang suddenly remembered, "Do you have lubricant here?"
Liang Ze shook his head. "No."
Hang Hang carefully pressed into Liang Ze's body.
Just take it that he was pleasing him.
He really did not know how to simplify those next complicated steps: the hardware is not matching with its device. He could only use the most original method.
However…
Hang Hang noticed there was something wrong with this Idiot. His thing was not quite hard but not quite soft.
"Have you been wearing yourself out lately?"
Liang Ze got embarra.s.sed. "Not really."
"Then…""I don't know either."
Hang Hang was a bit hesitant, yet he still slid down. He really did not like using his mouth but he really could not stand to see this Idiot be like that…
"Ah…"
Feeling the warm mouth, Liang Ze's spirit immediately sprung up. He also could not explain how, as they were intimately kissing and caressing, he could not get excited.
After reached they both climaxed, Liang Ze lit up a cigarette and brushed a strand of Hang Hang's hair with his finger. He looked at his face, wanting to do some of the sweet talking that he was so good at. Yet looking at Hang Hang for half a day, he ended up uttering the words: "Shuaige, have you heard of this riddle? The riddle goes 'being comfortable in separation, but in pain when together.' "
Hang Hang picked up the pillow and directly pressed it on Liang Ze's face.