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<figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="312" data-orig-width="500"></figure>We finally learn how Jing Wan feels about Liu Shao in this chapter. Even though Jian Zhang has left Cheng Zhou, in the very act of driving him away, Liu Shao also drove a hard wedge between himself and Jing Wan. No matter how much either of them tries to ignore it, they cannot fully love each other without clearing the air of any untold lies and half-truths between them.
Encountering Love: Chapter 36
His breath was loud and hurried; she was usually a very bold person, but for some reason, her heart was completely jumbled and could only pant quietly. He softly called out: “Jing Wan.” She slightly raised her head, his gaze was searing hot, but his voice was suppressed and quiet: “Jing Wan, I hope that you will be able to stay by my side. I’m afraid that war will soon come to Cheng Zhou so I cannot let you leave. Moreover, I cannot let the flames of war separate us.”
Jing Wan did not know what she was thinking, but she was worried and terrified. She did not get afraid easily, so this kind of feeling made her shiver, his taste was still on her lips, so aggressive and blazing hot that it ignited the depths of her heart. Still, she did not dare to think further, so in a trance, she brought up the thing she least wanted to and asked: “Why are you going to war?”
His eyes were full of a hidden fire, and his bright gaze penetrated her: “This war is inevitable, the Cheng and Ying armies have been fighting for several years, and it is not a situation that can continue. I had already decided earlier this year that I will quell the sixteen provinces of the north, and then battle it out with Jiang Shuang Xi and Li Zhong Nian of the south. There should be a end to this world torn apart by disunity.”
Jing Wan gazed at him, shocked: “The Russians in the north are watching us covetously, and the Ying army have matched the Cheng army in strength for the past few years. If you send soldiers against the north and south at the same time, how will you succeed? You must have gone crazy.”
Murong Feng stared at her for a while, and then suddenly kissed her forehead. Jing Wan heart beated rapidly, but she did not move away. He smiled slightly while gazing at her and said: “Surely I have gone mad? That is why I like you as if I am crazy. Military affairs are a man’s duty, I should not have told you, but I want everyone in this world to watch, and I want you to know what kind of burden I am bearing. Jing Wan, I want to give you the happiness that every woman in this world hopes for, and I want to bring the world to your feet.”
There was a slight sound from outside, Jing Wan absent-mindedly turned around and saw that it was raining. It soon began to rain very hard, hitting the leaves and branches of the forest with a rustling sound. It was early summer, but because of the sound of rain, it seemed like late autumn, and the trifle of coolness gladdened everyone’s hearts, but unexpectedly, she became afraid.
She remembered when she was young, not more than seven or eight years old, when her family still lived in their old house, that summer, it suddenly began to rain when she and Jian Zhang were in the courtyard, she had used broken tiles to plug the gutters so the whole courtyard was full of water, and she had brought him to the courtyard to play in the water. Their bodies were so drenched that they seemed like drowned chickens, but that kind of merriness, only made the laugh loudly. In the end, her nursemaid found them, she was both worried and angry, and brought them back into the house. Her father was extremely angry and grabbing the feather duster at hand and beat her. Jian Zhang was so frightened that he knelt down: “Uncle, Uncle, I was being mischievious, It’s not Mei’mei’s [1] fault.”
When she was little, he always called her Mei’mei, hid her wrongdoings, secretly writing calligraphy for her because she did not like writing with the calligraphy pen, and because she had to report with her work every day, he wrote several pages for her at home, allowing her to finish quickly. At that moment, his handwriting was almost exactly like hers.
After a while, he stopped calling her Mei’mei, perhaps when they started school? She went to a girl’s school, ran by foreigners, and her classmates were all girls from powerful families, both wealthy and noble. She was young then, and did not know to compare herself to the others in terms of family status, fashion, and new clothing, but she was always the best, better than anyone else in every way. After she studied abroad, a good friend wrote a letter to her, that female classmate had been engaged to the Prime Minister’s son, even though it was not clear whether she had done this on purpose or not, she was boasting with each line. She was faintly angry, but after thinking about it, Jian Zhang was both gentle and considerate and in this world, no other person could treat her better.
Murong Feng saw that she was lost in thought, so he walked over to close the window and said: “It’s very winding at night, your wound has just healed a bit, don’t get a cold.” He turned around to look at her, and smiled slightly at her.
Her heart was completely jumbled, and she thought back to what he said in that day in the orchid greenhouse. She had been moved at that time, but she immediately thought of Jian Zhang, and once she thought of him, her heart spasmed in pain. Since they had become acquainted, Murong Feng was like a whistling arrow, disrupting her heartbeat, she had originally thought that life was rational, that she would love, marry, and have children with Jian Zhang, then, calmly and uneventfully pass the latter half of her life, her whole life would be like this.
But he was not the same, he suddenly entered her life, a world had the journeys that ordinary people hoped for, but also had too many changes and perils. A threatening world like that, yet full of splendor, was also full of vitality and became the greatest enticement to her. He said: “I want to bring the world to your feet.” How many men in this world could say this to the woman they love? It wasn’t that she did not want to part from honor, glory, wealth and status, but rather, she did not want to part from this new, shocking and unknown future. In the depths of her heart, she was terrified, unable to comprehend, she did not even dare to think about it. Tonight, he had already made everything clear, this fear was even more deep and distinct; she put her chaotic thoughts in order and cleared her state of mind. That kind of fear turned into an icy coldness, an icy coldness that penetrated her very depths, and she knew that she could no longer continue to deceive herself and bury the doubts that she had hidden within her heart, she could no longer overlook it. She suddenly shivered and raised her head.
She clearly enunciated each word, saying: “Liu Shao, you must tell me this truthfully. What did you do to Jian Zhang before?”
His expression was that of surprise but also that of resignation, but he also had an inexplicable emotion on his face. His eyes flickered, he raised his chin and said: “I knew that you would ask someday.” Her heart was extremely cold. He spoke unconcernedly: “I did not do anything to him, I only made him understand the importance of power. Jing Wan, he does not love you enough. At least, he is not willing to give his business in Cheng Zhou, his money and his self-interest for you.”
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[1] Mei’mei means younger sister.