Chapter 54: Leave Ingord

‘I’ shut up. However, unlike ‘me,’ who closed my mouth, I continued casually as if I had never done so.

[The name Susan was given by someone. Because I didn’t know every little detail about you. But among the many and many names, it was this name… I felt very strange. Maybe I was mocking you for forgetting the whole truth.]

As if one person had different bodies, Agrane spoke to me.

[But Susan, that’s not your real name, is it? Our identity is Agrane. Right? It means that I’m really you.]

I, Agrane, carefully stretched my arm and slowly swept through the magnificent oil painting decorating one side of the wall.

[The river where the sun manoeuvres… Karold’s sun, the river of Ingord, and the sky that contains these two, Grenferg, the owner of the empire. Huhu, what a terrible picture this is. I’d like to tear it apart in front of my eyes right now.]

Agrane laughed with a low snivel. I observed as if I was a stranger, but we were still one body. I looked up at the painting with her eyes and felt the dryness of the paint on her fingertips.

[Agrane….. I’m so curious. How is your world now?]

Agrane looked up at the sun in the painting with ecstatic eyes.

[Are you happy? No, you can’t be. I know all too well that you are the one who will only feel that emotion when you die. Yes… If you can’t feel happiness, are you complacent with the present reality? Are you satisfied with just living?]

If I had been able to answer her, I would probably have answered ‘yes’.

[That’s unacceptable, I swear.]

As if she had heard my answer, Agrane gritted her teeth in a cold voice.

[Our…No, it’s my dream. You must never forget, it is better to die than to forget.]

Agrane turned slowly. She walked slowly along the velvet carpet embroidered with roses.

[You don’t know, but you’ve been in deep thought. What would you be thinking now? What do you want and what do you want to throw away…. Then, all of a sudden, it occured to me that I might not know the most important thing.]

She lowered her voice further and whispered.

[You can see the future, Agrane]

It was not a statement where one could immediately interpret the underlying meaning. I see the future?

No way. Aside from it being sudden, this was ridiculous. In 『The River Where the Sun Manoeuvres,』no person with such an ability appeared. I had never….

[And that’s where this nightmare started. So the end will be the same. Don’t you want to know about your future? Then come back to the Imperial palace, Agrane.]

Unless it was an illusion, unlike before, there was an unfamiliar nervousness in Agrane’s voice.

[Come back…]

At that time, I saw an image that gradually got closer from not far away. The brilliant blonde hair shook like waves as if they were sprinkled with gold.

As soon as a woman with a brighter smile than the sun found Agrane, she moved. Agrane, who stopped, swallowed a small laugh waiting for the woman to arrive.

[Oh, I almost forgot to say that. Please don’t bother Richton too much. There’s no one as pitiful as that child.]

And before the woman who ran in front of her opened her mouth, her eyes became white. At the same time my vision was distorting, my mind was pulled up from my deep thoughts.

***

There was a day when I imagined that—

What if this world was my real world instead of a book? What if I had just unfortunately lost my past memories, and had to go on with my present life without a world to return to?

It was a terrifying assumption. Then I realized. The strength for being able to endure was none other than the realization that I did not belong in this world.

‘Not anymore.’

Unfortunately, however, the assumption at that time was correct. I’m part of the world. Didn’t the past me tell me this? The world I knew I had seen through 『The River Where the Sun Manoeuvres』 was a part of the future I saw. I have the power to see the future. I didn’t possess Agrane, I am Agrane herself.

“Ha.”

I am Agrane.

“Hahaha.”

What should I do?

What am I supposed to do now?

“Agrane Karold.”

Why did I in the past call myself Susan? Did the past me predict even the present me? If I had predicted it, what would I have hoped to gain in the process?

There was no way to know. I got out of the house. Under the cloudy dawn sky, the fog did not clear, and the river, which had become strong due to the rainy season, gushed out. I threw myself into it without hesitation. Don’t sit down like a fool. Use your brain, Agrane.

“What I need.”

All I could think of right now was the antidote to Ingord poison.

“Obstacles to be cleared.”

Azmaria was no longer the subject of interest. The only question I had was why did she have my memories? And what about Wilhelm? Should I get rid of Wilhelm? What about Richton who brought me here?

“What I have to do.”

I didn’t know.

“What I can do.”

I didn’t know.

“What I want.”

It was revenge for the me in the past. If so, did I have to take revenge for the me now?

“Damn it.”

Really, I didn’t know anything…. The stream was so cold that every blood vessel in my head froze. I reflected on Richton’s words as I crossed the water just below my waist.

‘I’ll give you a day. This day will be your last chance to get away from me and realize your lifelong dream.’

Suddenly, it occurred to me that he might know. Could Richton tell me what I should do? Wouldn’t he be able to give me a way? After all, there was no ground for me to fall further from here.

At least that was what I thought today. Climbing ashore, I passed a bleak passage and headed straight for Richton’s bedroom.

The room with the black curtain was darker than the winter night. Like I did, I knew that Richton woke up to the slightest pretence of presence.

It was a familiar place to me even though I couldn’t see it. I dragged my body, which was wet and heavy, and put myself on the bed. I leaned back slowly, supporting the weight with both of my arms, and blue-grey eyes shining in the shadows were silently looking at me.

“Tell me the answer, Richton.”

After a long silence, Richton, who had been hardened like a wax figure, moved. He shoved his long fingers through my wet hair. His eyes were so clear that I didn’t think he was a person who had just woken up. Like he had been waiting for me to reach him through the long night.

“You’re really….. terribly cruel in front of me.”

A self-deprecating smile passed under the slowly blinking eyelids.

“Knowing that, I always did stupid things. As if wishing you would regret it. It can be said that it is a repetition that has no end in sight.”

He soon pulled the back of my head in front of his nose while he was stroking my wet hair.

“If you want, I have to. So do whatever you want.”

His voice, which followed, was as ragged as a curtain torn by a blade.

“Kill Prince Wilhelm, Agrane.”

That was nonsense. He was the direct prince of the Grenferg Empire and, according to Keane, was one of the influential figures in the empire fighting for succession to the throne with Vivianne. I slightly shook my head.

“How am I supposed to….”

“This is an order, Agrane. Kill him with your own hands. Put the sword at his neck and drag the torn body that lost it’s head in front of me. And tell me that you completely killed him straight to my face.”

At his words, memories of the past and Ingord’s time crossed my mind.

“Is killing him my long-cherished desire?”

“Yes, but I hope your revenge fails. If that’s the case, this time around, I’ll be able to cover your eyes and ears and lock them in my estate.”

A long sigh followed. Richton’s every word made my heart ache. His obsession felt cold, not hot affection.

Like a sword of revenge sharpened for a long time directed at me. What a short silence it was. He pulled my hair a little closer, and our foreheads met.

“You’ll know. Your wish. I can make it come true…..”

It was the same tone as yesterday.

“I can sacrifice his head. I don’t lie to you. You just have to sit still and watch.”

The sadness and desperation of the night before were not conveyed. Richton seemed to already know the answer I was about to give. So, even more heartbreaking.

I didn’t know if this feeling was guilt or some other form of it. Why are you doing that for me? Why the hell? I couldn’t bring myself to ask why. Afraid of what answer he would give.

“…but you won’t. As always.”

Leaving a misty breath, Richton kissed me. It was a long, silent kiss as if to say goodbye. My throat was choked.

Unknowingly, I pulled his lower lip gently and loosened it. I felt an incredibly sharp, cautious and heavy remorse for Richton. With his lips off, Richton hugged me as if today was the last day.

“You won the bet.”

I leaned my forehead against his firm, pitiful shoulder. What was between us? All that Richton left me was the painful poison and the obedience of a dog. But why did I have to feel this way?

‘The only way you can get away from me is to win the bet.’

His arms pushed me away, with the face of the ruthless Duke of Ingord.

“So get out of my land right now, Agrane. You will never be able to set foot in Ingord again without my permission. Unless you risk your precious life.”

***