The mansion crowded with men had a different atmosphere than at the autumn banquet. Was it because of the common denominator called Wilhelm’s faction? While the autumn banquet really felt like a banquet, this meeting was heavy and serious.
None of them gathered in the room to share friendship or appreciate the back garden. Rather, they were busy gathering in a small room, half drunk, discussing, and raising their voices.
Even when they called a servant, all they had to do was bring someone and order them to bring food and alcohol. In that solemn and harsh atmosphere, the employees were also less talkative.
“I guess Count Will is very opposed to the marriage between his Excellency and Lady Azmaria.”
It was a time when the preparations for dinner were in full swing. Mary, who came to the annex on the pretext of an errand, whispered as she sat in a chair.
“I think the reason why today’s dinner was held is because of that problem. There is a constant debate among the nobles on whether to ignore Count Will and continue the wedding or send her back.”
“So, what decision will be made today?”
“According to Mrs. Fiora, there will be a coercive opinion gathering at dinner, right?”
Mary’s voice was much more tired than before. I pushed the box of chocolate that Azmaria gave me in front of her. In the past, she would have screamed and eaten, but now she didn’t have the energy to do that, so her hand opening the wrapping paper was slow.
“I just realized that there was a subtle war of nerves between Mrs. Colento and Mrs. Fiora.”
“That’s why those two care so much to avoid harming us as much as possible.”
“In the place where I was before, the faction fights were very intense even among the maids. As expected, I think it’s Ingord.”
“As you have become a woman of Mrs. Fiora, you’d better be more polite to Mrs. Colento.”
“Yes, I will.”
Since I stayed in the annex, I often felt isolated as if I was on a remote island even if I didn’t want to.
I didn’t know whether she cared about me, or if she just needed a place to confide, but Mary often came to the annex and left me with one story or another. As for me, I was happy with Mary’s visit as it was an opportunity to quickly hear the news from the main building.
<When the straw* turns green.>
(*Dry grass)
And last night, I got a reply from the bookstore. Now, all I had to do was go down to the downtown area once a day and check the color of the straw on the signboard.
“From the day after tomorrow, a separate room will be created.”
“That’s something to celebrate. How’s Kasen doing?”
“Not bad. When I talked to him, he was a man who only knew about His Excellency and swords. I’d rather it be better.”
“Where did the girl who dreamed of a wonderful romance go?”
“If you get one, you have to give up one. I’ll be satisfied with the present.”
Mary had changed. The young woman, who had visited the Ingord mansion in late summer, was now looking somewhat tired. In less than a season, Mary adapted to Ingord and matured. I wondered if what Berkne told me meant this.
“Susan.”
Then, a voice calling me came from outside the kitchen.
“Mr. Berkne.”
Speak of the devil, and he will come. Mary cleverly picked herself up and left the kitchen. Berkne greeted me from his standing position.
“Your complexion has improved noticeably.”
“Me? No way.”
There is only one case where Berkne visits me. When he has to take me to Richton right away. But Berkne didn’t seem to have any intention of doing so.
“Do you have something to say?”
As if choosing his words, Berkne, who was sweeping his chin for a while, asked me.
“Susan, do you have any thoughts of marrying Keane?”
“Are you crazy?”
It was the most ridiculous thing I had heard from him since I knew Berkne. Come to think of it, Mrs. Fiora said something similar. I couldn’t believe I was tied up with Keane. Just by recalling yesterday’s nonsense, my mind cooled down.
“Keane is of a historic noble family. Since the land and property were confiscated after being charged with treason, he only needs time to prove his innocence.”
“Are you saying that His Excellency will prove it?”
Did he make a deal? I vaguely knew why Keane and I were not addicted to Ingord poison like Berkne.
‘He had a place to go back to.’
The past deeds of treating him like the same dog as me unintentionally became ridiculous.
“Keane’s family is much greater than you might expect. Keane is the only blood relative left, so if he is proven innocent, he will rise to a position that no one can overcome. It wouldn’t be bad to be his wife.”
“I’m a dog.”
Even if Keane was in a different situation from me, Berkne’s nonsense was not understood. Let’s say that he was sympathetic to my life because I couldn’t die after making concessions a hundred times. But why was it Keane? It happened to be at a time like this.
“In addition, I’m like a living, breathing poison. Me, to marry like this? Even though I hate Keane, I don’t want to do anything bad to him.”
“There’s an antidote. If Keane asks His Excellency, he might do it.”
It was too vague to come out of Berkne’s mouth, who gave only extremely realistic advice. It was the other way around. What was he trying to tell me?
“Is Miss Azmaria’s influence that great?”
“Influence? I honestly don’t know, other than that the knights and employees have become noisy.”
I knew it, but when I heard it through Berkne’s mouth, I was strangely relieved.
“Because you talk as if you don’t need me anymore. I thought that His Excellency had fallen for the passionate courtship of Lady Azmaria.”
“What does that have to do with this?”
“To erase the cruel and despicable traces of the past for the woman one loves. Like Ingord poison and me.”
“Stop being cheeky, Susan.”
“If not, then what?”
What the hell was wrong with him to come to the annex and tell me to marry? After a long silence, Berkne opened his mouth.
“Stay next to Keane for a while. You can seduce him with his favourite apple pie and relocate him to the annex, or you can drag him around.”
(T/N: he is warning Susan to be careful)
As if that was the end of the story, Berkne turned half-way and urged me to answer. With a face without a single smile.
“I’ll try.”
After he left, I was left alone in the kitchen. Maybe he wasn’t a close aide to the master. There was not even a single corner that gave any insight. But on the contrary… It occurred to me that this could be Berkne’s best.
“It’s enough for Berkne to be careful.”
Don’t tell me Richton is trying to deal with me. I didn’t think so. But there was no guarantee… No. Rather, didn’t he hate me for some reason? Oh, I’m tired.
***
After sunset, he attended a dinner at the main building with Azmaria. I was caught between the distant servants and assisted only Azmaria. The occasionally visible face in the swaying candlelight was as fine and beautiful as white jade.
I didn’t think I could say that the atmosphere of the dinner was okay even if I tried to express it well. Richton sat still and only swallowed the food. Azmaria, who was busy peeping at him, later focused only on eating, as if she was tired.
“At the very least, I don’t think she’s a spy sent by that wicked Wilhelm!”
“Hey, you are rude in front of Lady Will.”
“Even if we die, we cannot agree. Yes, I’d rather die! I’ve never seen the things I’ve built up collapse all at once.”
Azmaria was treated as absent. Her skinny back looked exhausted. She only made a face that was breathtaking when I closely approached her to pick her up.
Coincidentally, the dinner ended much earlier than expected. This was because some nobles left, saying they could no longer be in one place. Opinions were not gathered. I couldn’t believe I had to put up with this tedious, non-discussion fight tomorrow.
“I’m much more tired than I thought. I should lie down early today.”
Azmaria’s fire went out before nine o’clock at night. I sneaked out of the mansion after checking she was asleep. And I walked as if running on a busy street. Tomorrow might be busier, so I would not be able to come out unless it was now.
“Gasp…”
And I stopped walking when I arrived in front of the building. A short fabric fluttered above the door of the bookstore. Green straw. My heartbeat began to beat at a high speed. I was worried that it would burst through my ribs. If I stepped in there, I would face the traces of Wilhelm. Knowing that, my legs didn’t move.
‘You are the most beautiful thing I have, the weakest, the most desperate, and the ugliest. But that’s alright. Because I feel alive through you like that.’
As if reciting a poem, a harmonious voice came to mind. He was a living fear to me. In the past, he might have been an enemy to overcome or kill, but fear remained clearer than hatred to me now.
“But it’s all in the past.”
I stopped in front of the tightly closed door. Wilhelm wasn’t even waiting for me after this door, but my hands were stiff with extreme tension.
Why did I consider Wilhelm a spokesperson for justice along the right path? Why did Wilhelm’s fiancé regard herself as Agrane? Why did Wilhelm present me with a pendant with a portrait of Agrane on it. For me, finding out the truth was much more important than running away from here.
“Why?”
Because… momentarily, all my breathing stopped as if time had stopped. A long shadow sat quietly in the back. The arm that stretched past my shoulder pushed out the door.
“Why are you standing still without going in?”
This was also different. Until I dreamed of the past, he was only the main character in 『The River Where the Sun Manoeuvres』. But not now. The real Wilhelm, who erased the fiction, was playing inside me. His name was filled with thorns made of iron, and stinky old water fell. It was just a memory from many years ago, but the influence on me was great.
“Have you been waiting for me?”
It was okay. I am in Ingord now. I was not his dog. I clenched my teeth and turned around. The boy in the dream I knew was not there. Standing with his back against the night sky, there was only a mature man with a soft smile on his face.