Chapter 36: Love You More Than Wilhelm

A heavy body frees the head from thoughts and miscellaneous thoughts. I dragged my wet body back to the bedroom. What I needed right now was not to define the relationship between Richton and her, but to get enough rest. However, even that thought had to be swept behind while facing Azmaria standing in front of the door.

“Susan? Are you okay? Oh my God, you are drenched!”

It was time for aristocrats to sleep right now. From her visit this late evening, it was clear that she had something to see. At least it’s a different level of business than running out of water in the kettle.

(T/N: Korean idiom, indicating that the business Azmaria has will be definite and accurate unlike other problems)

“I’m sorry, young lady. Did you find me?”

Unsurprisingly, Azmaria nodded her head with a serious expression on her face, making me think correct.

“I came here to ask you something…..Let it dry a bit first. We can talk about it later.”

In order to escape from the shape of a drowning mouse, a fireplace must be lit, kettle water must be boiled, and clothes must be changed.

But stay with Azmaria during that time?

It was an unwelcome offer, so I politely declined it.

“No. Speak now, Miss Azmaria. I think it will take a long time to dry anyway.”

After observing her for a few days I came to know that Azmaria is the type of person who, despite her strong narcissism, is quick to grasp the situation and never misses the opportunities. That meant she wouldn’t bother me more than necessary.

“If Susan is okay with it, I just want you to make time for me the day after tomorrow.”

Usually, this was a case of participating in a noble lady’s outing.

“Where are you going?”

“It’s not that far away, and I’m going to meet my close friends for a while.”

Friend.

It’s hard to understand.

At this time when you betrayed Prince Wilhelm and about to announce your marriage to Richton?

It was only two days after the banquet was over. It wasn’t enough time for the rumors to spread throughout the empire, but it was just the right time for everyone to know. Furthermore, isn’t Azmaria the eldest daughter of the Will family, who fully supports Prince Wilhelm? If they were her close friend, they would have been Prince Wilhelm’s entourage, and it wouldn’t be strange if she was branded as a traitor.

“By the way, these are my friends who worry so much…… You don’t have to follow me as a maid, but I want Susan to act as my friend here through Ingord’s intercession. Only in front of them, of course.”

Even the request was absurd.

“I would need his permission.”

“I already have permission. All I need is Susan’s permission.”

You’re saying something funny. There’s no such thing as a maid giving permission to a noble woman. I came up with the answer that Azmaria was waiting for.

“Yes. Let’s do that. What can I do?”

“I will prepare everything including clothes. The thing that really bothers me is the aristocratic etiquette….”

Azmaria looked at me and smiled a bit awkwardly.

“I heard from His Excellency that Susan was from a historic family.”

It was a careful voice not to offend me. But eyes don’t lie. Azmaria was sneakily showing me that she and Richton have become meaningful enough to talk about this much. I understood. A woman couldn’t help but fall in love with a man like Richton, who exudes a cool and overbearing vibe.

“Yes, that’s right.”

I just pitied Azmaria. The fact that I didn’t have enough honor to give my heart.

“Why are you doing chores instead of a maid….?”

“There is a good reason for that. Not a reason to be good enough to tell the lady.”

“I’m sorry if this was a rude question.”

“No. It was a long time ago.”

It was so long ago that I can’t even remember. Azmaria smiled softly and turned her body away. No, just before she moved away, Azmaria turned her back and met eyes with me.

“Susan. Then why did you tell me to give up?”

This was the real deal. I answered without hesitation.

“It looks like a moth jumping into the flames.”

Azmaria shook her head with a questioning face.

“I mean, how can you judge me by just asking a few questions…..”

“Because Young lady and I are in the same situation.”

Stiffened with tension, I continued my words as I looked at Azmaria’s face with a firm expression.

“Ah. Of course, this does not mean that Azmaria, the daughter of the Will family, is in the same situation as a lowly maid.”

“Are you aware of the future?”

Do I know what will happen in the future?

I didn’t know it would come in so suddenly.

“Even if I know, it doesn’t seem like a conversation to be done in a place like this.”

Unlike you, I knew and experienced Richton’s fear.

This time I turned around. Otherwise, the baptism of questions would continue without end. Fortunately, Azmaria did not catch me..

Her presence reassures me.

In Ingord, there was a being who fell into a swamp as dark as I was, or even darker than where I was.

Thankfully, the conversation I had with Azmaria freed me from a raging thought and melancholy.

***

Ever since hearing the boy’s name, Vivianne has often brought up the boy’s story to me. It wasn’t something to be excited about. Because it was closer to what she was persuaded to do than it was to say it voluntarily. After a little more time, she deliberately asked to come back that way. It was mildly ticklish, but it was like compulsion. Then Vivi looked at me with a sad face, and she was forced to go back and forth there and then spit it out.

[Hey…He was more stupid than Agrane thought. Now, when he makes eye contact with me, he smiles like a fool. Pitiful and dirty He didn’t even know I was spying on him…..]

Vivi’s face, recalling her memories with the boy, was in many ways similar to Wilhelm’s face looking at her. A look at things that are stupid, dirty and insignificant. So I was relieved. I stared at Vivi with the most loving gaze.

[Still, keep looking. Agrane is curious. Is he good?] (Agrane)

[Huh. good.] (Vivi)

Vivianne blinked her eyes that were as transparent as glass beads. She asked as she leaned close to me.

[Hey, Agrane. I don’t know why Agrane keeps paying attention to that stupid kid.]

[Because it’s fun.]

[More fun than me? Are you going to ask him to be a dog too?]

Only love me, love me more and more. Vivianne is cute and very easy to handle. As her thoughts appeared on her face, it was easy for me to respond accordingly. This is how Wilhelm feels when he treats me like this.

[No way! Vivi is my cute dog, but that—in the acacia forest….]

…no. Your judgment was just too stupid, Agrane. Wilhilm couldn’t have just felt this way. It must have been a lot better and a lot more fun than this. When he looks at my submission and obedience, I will not only feel cute, but more exalted than that.

[It’s our toy.]

[However…There are plenty of things to do here too.]

At Vivianne’s grumbling, I slowly looked around her room. As she said, this room was full of things to play with. Drawings, puzzles, parrots talking in cages, big doll houses…But the boy in the Acacia Forest was different. These were Wilhelm’s, but he wasn’t Wilhelm’s. I need that much more earnestly incomparable to the things given to me.

[He’s a special toy, Vivi. Are you alive?]

Poor Vivianne didn’t seem to understand what I was saying. But it’s okay, because it’s cute. I spread my arms wide and hugged Vivianne with a melancholy expression on her face. A body that was one span larger than me was held in my arms. Vivianne buried her face in my shoulder and smiled shyly.

[You smell better than usual.]

[Really?]

[Huh. I feel good, I feel comfortable…..]

To make sure her mind calmed down, Vivianne closed her eyes and rubbed her cheek against my shoulder. As she wished to be loved more, I kissed her white cheeks, and her lips burst into a pleasant smile. She looked like a real dog with a leash, and I couldn’t stop laughing either.

[I’m glad you did. Wilhelm is coming today.]

Vivianne slowly straightened her bent back.

[A, Agrane….]

His eyes glared at me anxiously.

[Do you love Wilhelm? Yes? Is that so?]

I smiled brightly.

[Yes. I really love Wilhelm. Much more than the flowers that bloom in spring.]

[More than me?]

It was an unusually stable atmosphere, but the eyes were blaming me harshly. I hope the answer is that it’s not even a lie. Her eyes began to turn red. She had a face like if I nodded, she would jump into the rain at any moment and throw herself on the shore of the lake. I can’t. If I do this, Wilhilm will soon find out.

[Don’t show Wilhelm that expression, Vivi. You only have to show it in front of me.]

I did not nod her head as Vivianne wished. Instead, I became her benevolent master and gently brushed her wavy golden hair.

[So that I can love you more than Wilhelm.]

***

There is one thing that is uncomfortable about dreaming of the past. It was tiring and arduous as if I slept through the night with open eyes. Of course, for me, who spends most of the night with my eyes open, the fact that I am tired was not a particularly inconvenient issue.

What I felt really uncomfortable was that not only the body but also my daily hardship had become worse. The third day after the banquet was over. As requested by Azmaria, I had to prepare for going out after a light breakfast. The dress she lent me was much more beautiful and neat than her splendid Beatrice’s.

“Oh, Susan.”

Azmaria was already waiting for me in front of her carriage, even though I had come ten minutes earlier to consider my maid’s duty. Perhaps it was because of the subtly excited atmosphere, but her beautiful face made her skin appear brighter. The problem was that next to her was Kean in his uniform on horseback.

“Why is he…..”

“Ah! I decided to go out with Kean as well.”

Azmaria’s cheeks were dyed pink.

“Maybe he was worried, but His Excellency put Sir Kean as my escort and not any other knight. He didn’t have to do that though.”

“I see.”

Azmaria’s mood seemed as good as the sunny weather. With the help of Kean, she climbed into the carriage. Kean, who took my hand in turn, grabbed me and whispered in my ear.

“Did you get caught while running away?”

I just rolled my eyes and looked at him.

“I won’t deny it. You seem smart, but you are infinitely stupid.”

His provocation didn’t catch my ear. Did I get caught running away? Ah, the mysterious Richton. He acted like he was sure I’d never run away. Ignoring Keane, I followed Azmaria into the carriage. This made it clear. I’m not caught by Richton. We were held back by each other.