After I lost my parents, who I donât even remember, when I was very young, my grandmother raised me. I was kindly adopted by my grandmother.
She didnât have a lot of material possessions, but she gave me love and care.
When my grandmother died, I was told at the funeral that I was an unlucky child with cat eyes.
Nobody wants to take me in. Eventually, I went to my auntâs house who had no choice but to take me.
I grew up with a cousin who despised and discriminated against me. I eventually learned to accept that. My cousin said she had to give up a lot of things because of me.
Auntie also claimed that if it werenât for me, she could have provided Seulbi with better food and clothing.
I knew my aunt and uncle had taken me in because of the insurance money I had, but every time I heard them complain, I felt sorry for them.
Sometimes I wish I could live alone rather than being treated like a burden.
I was referred to as the âcursed childâ by my aunt and uncle, who held me responsible for their woes.
Perhaps they were correct. Iâve lost every person I ever loved.
My name is Mary Conler.
I am the only daughter of the Grand Duke of Conler.
I was raised in an orphanage at the peak of the mountain after being abducted as soon as I was born.
Many people were shocked to find an orphanage in such a remote, undeveloped area.
The director of the orphanage was not a nice person, which is not surprising.
He was forced to watch over a girl, so he was stuck there. No, maybe the orphanage itself was there because of me.
There, I made some wonderful friends. Although I disagreed with the majority of them, I felt it would be distressing if they grew up, entered society, and were shunned.
I tried to help them because if there was no one to be on their side, they would need money.
Everything was for nothing.
As if it were a lie, my father saved me when I was in danger.
When he said I was going back home, I was nervous that he might not love me, but contrary to what I thought, they all cared and loved me.
But I was still suffering from an unidentified anxiety.
I am a cursed child. Everyone I love isâŚâŚ.
I was nine years old in my dream. In the pitch black, I was tightly embracing a black plush cat. I tried to bite my lip to hold it together, but I couldnât help but burst into tears.
I didnât know why I was crying, and I thought it would make me feel better, but no matter how much I cried and cried, it only made me feel more frustrated.
Crying doesnât solve anything.
As I hugged the doll tightly and cried, someone put a hand on my shoulder from behind. The touch was soft and loving. I felt a strange sense of anticipation in my chest.
Is it my dad?
But I couldnât look back for fear of disappointment. It couldnât have been my dad.
The what-ifs wouldnât leave me alone. No, Iâm pretty sure thatâs my dad.
I had to turn my head to confirm, but I couldnât move, as if my neck was stiff and rigid.
âSohee.â
Someone called my name from behind. The moment I heard the voice, the tension in my neck loosened like a lie, allowing me to turn around.
I stumbled and landed in the personâs arms behind me.
âGrandma!â
My grandmother also gave me a tight but gentle hug.
âIâm so scared. What should I do?â
âItâs not your fault.â
Grandma consoled and reassured me, but her affectionate voice somehow made me resentful.
I stepped out of her warm embrace and looked at her with tear-stained eyes.
âItâs not my fault?â
âSohee.â
âIf itâs not my fault, who is it? I am a cursed child.â
Grandmaâs deeply creased eyes appeared dejected. She wiped my tears and gently brushed my hair away from my face.
I wonder if having to care for me all of a sudden in her later years was difficult for her. She wouldnât have to work in her senior years or struggle to raise me if she didnât take me.
I think it would have been easier for her to say it was all my fault.
My father, my grandmother, my parents are all of themâŚbecause of me. Everyone will be happy if Iâm gone.
They always said I was a burden.
âItâs not your fault.â
âGrandmaâŚ.â
âI was happy to meet you.â
Although it was a dream, it seemed real.
Grandmotherâs face became increasingly younger. It appeared as though her gray hair was turning red.
âI should have protected you a little longer.â
She was holding me tightly, and I could feel her arms getting stronger. She smelled like sunshine. It was a familiar grandmotherâs embrace.
It made me wish this dream was real.
Even in the darkness of this place, if I was held in such a loving embrace, everything would be okay.
âMary.â
Then my grandmother called me by an unexpected name. Being Ha Sohee in her arms, I became Mary Conler like a homing instinct.
Just as I was about to panic after being called by a name I never thought Iâd hear from my grandmotherâŚ
âYou have to overcome it.â
ââŚâŚ.â
âNo matter how hard it is.â
My face twisted in despair. Waves of hopelessness deeper than this darkness rushed over me.
Grand Duke Estin killed the cursed beast on my behalf and collapsed.
Yes, I would prefer it to be a dream.
Letâs not wake up. Never.
Even though I thought so, I couldnât hold back my tears from flowing.
If all of that were actually a dream, I would immediately wake up, run to Grand Duke Estinâs bedroom, act like a baby, and claim that I had a terrifying dream.
He would gladly lift his blanket and let me in. I would collapse into his broad arms and feel as though everything would be fine.
I could feel comfort from the person who is by my side, not the person who is not there.
I didnât want to wake up from this dream.
âProtect Estin.â
How could I, when I was the reason Grand Duke Estin collapsed?
âYes. Itâs your turn to protect him this time.â
I nodded.
âDonât think youâre alone.â
Then I woke up.
My face was damp with tears. Rex, who was next to my bed, confirmed that I had woken up and gently patted my face.
âSister, I thought youâd never wake upâŚâŚ.â
âOhâŚ.â
âYou were asleep for nearly two days.â
Rexâs voice was trembling. Iâd been asleep longer than I thought.
ââŚWhat about father?â
I asked Rex in a voice that feigned calm, not wanting to get my hopes up and then be disappointed. Rexâs pupils fluttered wildly.
My head was hurting. Iâm sorry Rex was concerned about me, but I needed to get back to sleep. Iâd rather have that merciless darkness.
âBrother Gilbert has been worried about you. I know heâs busy taking care of the business, but why donât you go show him your face?â
At Rexâs suggestion, I paused. It was difficult for me to see Gilbertâs face.
He looked so much like Grand Duke Estin, and for some reason, looking at his face made me feel like guilt was going to strangle me. It wasnât just Gilbert, I feel the same with Aiden and Theodore too.
He said that Grand Duke Estin had the face of a man in a peaceful sleep.
Every physician and healer on the continent came to see how he was doing.
However, none of them were able to wake him up from his protracted sleep. Everyone who cared about him was understandably on edge. Particularly Lucas. He had a hard time looking at me.
Lucas clearly knew that I would become a threat to Grand Duke Estinâs life. I remembered the details of my dream. It was now my duty to protect Grand Duke Estin.
Is it really true?
They say that dreams are a manifestation of the subconscious, but maybe what I want is coming out of my dream.
âSister, eat this first.â
Rex held out to me the porridge he had put next to him. Looking at the porridge, I didnât have an appetite. I was about to shake my head when..
Bang!
Gilbert burst through the door, not even bothering to knock.
âMary, youâre awake?â
Not having the energy to be surprised, I nodded cautiously at him. Gilbert sighed and stroked my head before placing his hand on Rexâs shoulder and speaking slowly.
âRex, youâll have a visitor today.â
Why are you the one telling me that? Could it possibly beâŚâŚâ
Rexâs surprised expression as he stared at Gilbert gradually hardened. Even I, who had been lying on the bed, took notice.
Gilbert did not send a servant and just rushed over to where Rex was just to tell him heâs going to have a visitor.