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S7. Praise of Death by Marianne Valer
There was a commotion outside, so Marianne went to the window to check what was happening.
It wasn’t even dawn when she saw a carriage standing at the entrance.
It was a small carriage drawn by a single horse, all black without flags or fancy patterns. There was a latch on the small door where one must bend down to pass.
Soon after, two people entered the room with a knock.
Marianne said to them both, with a smile of contempt all over her face. “How dare you take me on something like that. Is this what His Majesty really told you to do?”
But no answer came back.
The servants would not mix words with Marianne. No, they didn’t even make eye contact.
Marianne, who held the curtains tightly, trembled. “Has your tongue been cut off? Why can’t anyone answer?!”
The attendants were startled by Marianne’s thunderous anger.
She was said to be a toothless tiger now, but at one time she had been a woman of power who had shaken the emperor and quarreled with the crown prince.
The fierceness alone was enough to scare a person.
“Don’t scare the subordinates for no reason. Who wants to associate with a sinner?”
Marianne, who had been making a noise, turned her head to the man’s voice.
At the entrance of the room, a menacing red-eyed man was staring at her with high pressure.
“Oh, my. Isn’t this Our Majesty? Our proud Majesty.”
The corners of Marianne’s mouth were bent enough to catch her ears. However, her glaring eyes remained directed at Caesar.
She was like a hawk watching its prey for an opening.
Caesar, too, did not take his eyes off her. Just looking at each other created a strange tension.
“I asked for an audience, but you only came now. You are truly cruel to your mother.”
“What more do you and I have to share?”
“Why not? People with bad relationships have a lot of stories to tell.”
Caesar sighed at Marianne’s sarcastic attitude, still with a good-natured smile.
Caesar beckoned all the servants out, walked to the middle of the room, and sat in a chair.
Marianne naturally came and sat across from him and began to persuade Caesar as if she were gently coaxing him.
“True. I made a lot of trouble this time. However, I was only swayed by Duke Valer. It is no different from Lady Brande.”
“Ha. Swayed? You?”
“What power does a mere woman have? I am just a scapegoat being used for the greed of my parents.” Marianne slid down from her chair and knelt down in front of Caesar.
But Caesar didn’t blink an eye. Marianne wondered what it would have been like if he had sent a contemptuous look, but he had a clean, indifferent expression.
He felt neither anger nor hatred toward Marianne.
“Your Majesty. Think of your poor little brother who is still young. How lonely would a child who has not reached adulthood be without a mother?”
“He has enjoyed enough being wrapped up in his mother’s skirt, so now he needs to learn to be alone,” Caesar answered, looking down at Marianne. “Since I am a very soft-hearted person, Fran will be treated well and live well in a private residence despite his mother’s sins, so don’t worry.”
Yes, he would be treated well and live well until he died. He’d be able to live in a big house surrounded by servants all the whole time. However, he would be treated badly by his attendants, unable to recklessly enter society, and of course, it would not be possible to get married.
At least while Caesar was alive with his eyes open.
“A private residence… Are you saying that you will expel him from the imperial castle?”
“Such is natural. No, it was a step that should have been done earlier.”
“He’s still a child.”
“How affectionate you are to your child. I’m about to tear up.”
“Do you have to do that to relieve your anger because he doesn’t have any protection now?” Marianne shouted in anger.
It was surprising to Caesar that she still hadn’t lost her spirit to this point.
“Did the princess tell you to do that? That dopey bitch grabs and shakes you as she pleases! Isn’t that right?!”
Helena Peresca.
She had expected it from the day they first met.
She thought she would surely become a nuisance if they became enemies. Her straight core, unshakable by money or fame, bothered her the whole time.
So, even with somewhat cowardly tactics, she drove her into a corner to wound her pride because she had never been defeated and scared her so that she would never step on her again.
She thought she had scared her.
“She must hate me to death. But, Your Majesty, wake up. She’s the same as I am.”
“Nonsense.”
“That girl is not normal. I assure you, you will become the puppet of that woman,” Marianne cursed.
But Caesar took no blows. Rather, he raised one corner of his mouth and sneered. “As you did to the emperor?”
Flinching, Marianne frowned.
“Do you remember how many times an assassin came to my bedroom?”
“Why all of a sudden…?”
“You remember, don’t you?” Caesar asked firmly.
Could it be that he intends to uncover what happened in the past?
But by what means? Even then he couldn’t convict her because there was no evidence. There was no reason to blame her now.
Marianne let out a sneer of her own. “How would I know?”
“You should know. You ordered it.”
“It’s been too long. I didn’t send any, so how can I remember that?”
“You must remember. If you are a mother,” Caesar pressed fiercely. The unexpected reprimand choked Marianne speechless.
Caesar leaned over, brought his face close to Marianne, and held her chin with one hand.
His shadow covered the collapsed Marianne.
“You really didn’t mean to kill me. You just wanted to scare me and wanted me to step down as heir apparent. Didn’t you?”
He was right.
So it was.
In fact, she was almost convinced that she had succeeded.
When Caesar’s mother died, he was terrified, assuming he would be next. Even his figure pretending to be strong was ridiculous.
“Aren’t you curious? At that time, how the puppy, who was afraid of being killed by you, came back as a wolf with fangs.”
Yes, she was curious.
She was curious all along.
It was just one summer season, just a short time out of her own sight.
But how could a person change like that? How could he become so tough?
“The princess… Helena, told me not to run away.”
Marianne didn’t miss the gentle spread of Caesar’s eyes when he spoke Helena’s name.
“You said she’s the same kind as you? No, she is different from you. You’re not similar at all.” Caesar’s voice was full of conviction. “You kill me, but she saves me. Don’t rush to say that she’s like you.”
There was no doubt in his eyes. He was truly, terrifyingly blind.
Marianne even had a vision of Helena standing behind him and looking down coldly at her.
You lost.
The fantasy of her reciting that to her.
“… Do you think I will die like this?” Marianne spoke to the illusion with shaky pupils.
But the illusion was silent. She just looked at her with cold contempt and sympathetic eyes.
Alas, yes. Sympathy.
The pitying gaze toward the loser was unbearable to Marianne.
“Do you think I will lose like this?!” Marianne’s bloodshot eyes glared at Caesar. “I! This Marianne! Do you think I can stand this unfairness?”
“Even if you can’t stand it, what can you do?” Caesar wiped his hands and stood up. Marianne sat down on the floor and looked up at him with bewildered eyes.
“Now you can’t do anything. Except for dying with regret.”
The festival for Marianne Valer was now over.
“To survive in a hellhole. I spared you so you could die alone for a long time.”
Caesar’s words sounded crueler to Marianne than telling her to die.
With those words, Caesar left the room. As if there was nothing to see anymore, without even looking back.
***
After driving for days and nights, the carriage arrived at a small mansion in the northern part.
The building was on the verge of collapse because it had not been maintained for a long time, and the garden was only a bit of dry land. No matter how much the fire burned, the room didn’t get warm.
Moreover, since it was isolated on the mountainside, no one was around. At night, it was pitch-black outside, and sometimes wild animals climbed over the mansion’s fence and growled.
“I can’t live in a place like this for a year…!”
Marianne was on the verge of becoming neurotic within a week.
“Miera! Miera!” Marianne shouted the name of the maid who had come with her.
However, Miera did not appear until a long time later. There was not a trace of respect for her master on her face.
That’s understandable. She must think she’s also exiled because she’s unlucky.
“Is there any news that anyone is coming? Didn’t a letter come?”
“No, Miss Anne. For what purpose would anyone come to such a poor village?” Miera squinted one eye and said pathetically.
“What about Fran? Has no one told you how Fran is doing?”
“You worry about nothing. Of course he’ll be more comfortable than you.”
“Are you working properly?! What a half-hearted answer!”
“Oh, calm down. If I do it casually, you should be starving by now,” said Miera, patting Marianne on the shoulder like treating a  child. That attitude infuriated Marianne even more.
There was a time when everyone trembled and bowed their heads in front of her. There was a time when everyone smiled and flattered her.
But now even a maid thinks she’s ridiculous.
In the end, she wondered what all she had built up was.
“No. No. It can’t end like this. There will be a chance. I’m sure there’ll be a chance.” Marianne trembled and cupped her cheeks with both hands. Her tousled red hair flowed down and obscured the view of her bloodshot eyes.
“I hope that opportunity comes before winter comes. It’s so cold even in early summer. By winter we will all freeze to death.” Miera made a sarcastic remark.
Miera didn’t expect the ‘opportunity’ she was talking about at all. Honestly, she hoped her master would give up quickly and adapt to life here.
Even if she didn’t understand, she sympathized.
‘This woman will probably go crazy before winter comes.’
It was quite a disrespectful thought toward her master, but no one could blame her for harboring such thoughts.
No, rather, anyone would definitely agree with what she said.
‘I think she’s already crazy.’
Miera glanced at Marianne, who was sprawled in a chair.
There was nothing left but emptiness in the empty pupils shaking uneasily. She was already half out of her mind. It wouldn’t be long before she was completely crazy.
With that thought in mind, Miera was about to leave the room, but just before she opened the door, she stopped at a fact that just came to her mind.
“Ah, come to think of it, there was a visitor last night. I said you were going to sleep, and he said he would come back tomorrow.”
“A visitor? Did you say there was a visitor?” Suddenly, Marianne lifted her head and looked at Miera.
As if her extinguished hope had been rekindled, her lower lip quivered.
“Who? Who was it? Which family was he from?”
“He wasn’t a nobleman.”
“Not a noble?” Marianne had a disappointed look on her face. Whether she had it or not, Miera looked into the void, trying to retrace her memory.
The man who visited yesterday.
Blonde hair, and a weak and dishonest appearance that could not be trusted.
The man smiled suspiciously and revealed his name. Miera rummaged through her memory and finally remembered the name of the strange customer.
“Oh, he said his name was… Noe.”