Chapter 9

# 9

9. The Earl's Irritating Master (9)

With the snow piled so high it obscured one’s line of sight, I had no choice but to use the central staircase again. Servants were supposed to use the stairs at the back of the mansion, but if someone saw me, I wouldn’t be able to avoid punishment, so I quickened my pace.

“Master, I’ll read it again for you.”

“Just going to the study took so long.”

“I was being careful in my selection. I wanted to find something interesting for you this time.”

Then I opened the book I had brought.

“Once upon a time, there was a happy little pig. The happy little pig was so content with each passing day.”

“What are you doing?”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

Pretending not to understand, I asked, and he scowled.

“It’s a fairy tale.”

“Yes, it’s a fairy tale.”

“Are you really going to read it?”

“I thought a fairy tale would be just right for you right now.”

“What?”

“To soothe your temper, I thought it best to read a warm story that teaches the meaning of consideration.”

He looked flabbergasted. I calmly looked down at the fairy tale book.

“If there’s something you want to hear, please let me know. From the story of the happy little pig to the tale of a young girl on an errand, the friendship between a fairy who grants wishes and a boy, the mysterious adventure of siblings, and the love and peace of the blue bird. I have a variety of stories prepared. You said you don’t want to hear the same story again, so I brought several books. Please choose according to your taste.”

Surely, you haven’t read all of them, right? As I said this, he tightly shut his mouth. The veins on his clenched fists stood out as if he were about to tear the sheets.

“If you don’t want to hear anything, I’ll continue with the story of the happy little pig. Even a short story, you won’t listen to, right? I don’t think you’re that impatient, but if it gets too hard to listen to, please let me know.”

I started babbling to prevent him from interrupting and quickly began reading the fairy tale. It seemed my words had an effect, as he was silent this time. His face was as if he had stopped breathing, and I was slightly tense, but fortunately, I managed to finish the fairy tale.

Of course, he threw the next fairy tale book away.

* * *

After that, I continued to read books to him. Of course, they were fairy tales. He said he didn’t like them, but I just read them anyway. I wanted to use this as an excuse to read various books.

It had been a long time since I read a book. The bookstore where I worked as a child had to close because the old owner’s health deteriorated. He gave me a few books as a gift, saying he was sorry. Most of them were fairy tales.

But those fairy tales ended up in Alicia’s hands. She coveted anything I had, even though she didn’t read books. By the time they returned to me, they were torn to pieces and unrecognizable. The torn books were eventually used as kindling.

After that, it was hard to get my hands on books. I had saved money a few times to buy books, but my father found out and made me stop. For a poor tenant farmer’s daughter, buying books was a luxury. When I realized that the money could buy a day’s worth of food, I stopped reading books.

Perhaps because I hadn’t read for so long, it felt so refreshing to hold a book in my hands. Except for the current situation.

“Can’t you read any better than that?”

“What’s wrong with it?”

“Everything. I’m dissatisfied with everything about you.”

Again, again, he’s doing this. Is it because I’m reading a fairy tale? He keeps getting annoyed. Actually, I wanted to read other books, but he didn’t listen properly, and I found it harder than I thought to read to someone. So, even though I knew he disliked it, I had to pick up a fairy tale again.

When I sighed, he got annoyed and asked why I was sighing. I only realized I sighed a lot after coming here. Moreover, the cause was obvious.

“Learn to breathe before you read.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Get out. I don’t want to hear anymore.”

I was chased out with the book, which I hadn’t even read three pages of. Cleaning, serving... now books. They say you suffer for what you buy, and that’s what happened to me.

Thanks to this, I fell asleep as soon as I returned to my room after finishing my work. The day’s fatigue called for sleep. But with so many worries, I couldn’t sleep deeply. As a result, my already light sleeper became even lighter. I could clearly hear the loud thuds from the room next door.

It was quite a loud noise, coming from the master’s room.

Startled, I ran to the next room.

I burst into the dimly lit room and immediately looked at the bed. A round shape was huddled against the wall. “Master?” I called out, and the shape trembled but showed no other reaction.

“Are you feeling unwell?”

“...”

“Master.”

“...”

“Master?”

“...Who is it?”

His voice was weak and hoarse.

“It’s me. Is something wrong?”

“I had a dream.”

“A dream? What kind of dream?”

“A scary dream.”

Ah, a nightmare. I often have them, so I know how it feels.

I wondered what the loud noise I heard earlier was, but there was nothing that could have made such a noise. I thought he might have thrown something as usual, but there was no sign of it.

It was too dark to see the details. Vincent was also covered in sheets, making it impossible to gauge his condition. However, his hand, which was gripping the sheets, was trembling slightly.

“What kind of dream did you have?”

“I don’t remember. I don’t know.”

His voice was calm, but it was laced with deep fear. I knew from Isabella that he didn’t get proper sleep and that the groans I heard at night were his. But he never showed any signs of it to me.

What kind of nightmares does he have? I didn’t need to think hard to know. They must be terrifying and scary.

“It’s just a dream. Go back to sleep.”

“I can’t sleep. I’m afraid I’ll have it again.”

“Would you like me to hold your hand?”

“Get lost.”

This time, he shuddered as if he had heard something truly terrifying. I slightly frowned and secretly sighed. Seeing him like this, he seems fine.

“Would you like me to stay until you calm down?”

“...”

He didn’t give a clear answer. After a moment of thought, I sat on the floor right next to the bed. The round shape trembled at the sound of me sitting down but didn’t tell me to leave.

I sat down, but I had nothing to say. I bent my knees and rested them on my chest, fidgeting with my fingers. He was also silent. Instead, I could hear his uneven breathing. As I listened to his breathing gradually becoming calmer, I tried to gauge his condition.

I kept fidgeting, and suddenly, a thin beam of light covered my hand. I looked up to see the moonlight streaming through a slightly open curtain, casting a line on the floor. My gaze followed the light to the yellow moon visible outside the window.

The only light in the darkness was so beautiful that it could steal one’s gaze. It’s pretty. If I reach out, can I touch it? But no matter how far I stretch, I can’t reach the moon. Even knowing this, I reached out my hand toward the light.

It’s quiet.

It’s peaceful.

Have I ever felt such peace in my life?

“When I was young, my younger sister often had nightmares.”

I blurted out without thinking. Perhaps the silence was burdensome.

The uneven breathing stopped abruptly at my sudden words, but he didn’t stop me.

“She was the second child. After having a nightmare, she would cry and wake me up, calling out, ‘Sister, sister.’”

The second child was a gentle girl. Unlike me, she had a pretty face and always smiled, calling out to me with a sweet voice.

I found her so adorable and, at the same time, pitiful. Being a good girl was a curse in our poverty. My father often looked at her with a calculating gaze, wondering how to use her.

Perhaps because she understood her situation even at a young age, my sister often had trouble sleeping. She would often wake up crying, having had a nightmare. I would hold her in my arms, pat her back, and hold her hand.

Just like now.

I placed my hand on top of his, which was the only part of him exposed outside the sheets. I could feel the sudden tremor from the unexpected touch. His hand was cold, and I gripped it tightly.

“Whenever this happened, I would hold her hand like this. She would then feel reassured and fall back asleep.”

My sister would close her eyes, gripping my hand tightly. She would shed round tears and fall asleep, relying entirely on my warmth. I would pat her hand, comforting her and sharing her fear.

“And I would tell her, ‘It’s just a dream, you don’t need to be afraid. I’m here. This moment, right now, is reality.’”

But thinking back, it wasn’t a good thing to say. Reality was more like hell. Still, my good sister would nod and snuggle into my arms.

Until the day she was sold to a brothel.

“People say you should leave the things in your dreams in the dream. Whether it’s something that has already happened or something you fear might happen, just dismiss it as a meaningless dream. If you can’t dismiss it, then for things that have already happened, you can overcome them, and for things you fear might happen, you can work to prevent them.”

I then shut my mouth. It was a dream-like statement.

Reality is not a fairy tale. It wasn’t always beautiful, and there were no mysterious adventures. At least, not in my life.

I couldn’t make the brave choices of the characters in stories. So, even when my sister was sold to a brothel, I couldn’t help her. I couldn’t show her the miracle of holding her trembling hand and running away together.

Even though I knew my sweet and adorable sister would be sold to a brothel... I turned away from her, who was trying to smile.

‘Sister, it’s okay. I’m okay.’

My sweet and adorable sister, who was trying to comfort me, the mean sister. I could only wish for her happiness and miss her.

The next year, my second sister passed away. They said it was a disease, but in reality, she was beaten to death. When I saw her again, her condition was horrific. Her body was swollen, and her private parts were especially terrifying. Her face was unrecognizable.

I secretly held a funeral for my second sister without my father knowing. It wasn’t much of a funeral. I buried her next to where the youngest was buried, placed some beautiful flowers on top, and not long after, the fourth sister joined them.

I survived, turning a blind eye to my sisters’ deaths.

I was a bad girl.

“How can you...”

I was snapped out of my thoughts by his sudden voice. The hand I was holding was still trembling, but this time, it was different.