I told Vincent I would look into the ink, but it was just an excuse to avoid the moment. Moreover, it was full of holes. Still, the fact that Vincent let it go might mean he sensed my inner turmoil or simply lacked a reason to press the issue at the moment.
I don't know what Vincent plans to do once he finds out the source of the ink, but I had to give him an answer. Just in case, I asked Johnny where he got the ink. I was worried that if I revealed the owner of the ink, his interest might wane.
"I don't know. I got it through someone else."
"But you said someone you knew had it."
"That someone's acquaintance's acquaintance got it for me. I didn't think it was necessary to go into such detail."
"Then do you know who that acquaintance's acquaintance's acquaintance is?"
"How would I know? Some distant acquaintance of an acquaintance of an acquaintance."
"Why are you making it more complicated?"
I had no intention of playing word games. When I asked him again where he got it, Johnny, who had been acting annoyed, suddenly stiffened.
"Did someone say something about the ink?"
"No, it's just that... he wants to know where you got it."
"Why does he want to know? It should be available everywhere."
"It's not something you can get anywhere. It seems to be very hard to obtain."
"Really? It's that important?"
Johnny mumbled, looking flustered. I frowned. Didn't he know? When I asked, he shook his head vigorously. From his expression, it seemed he really didn't know the value of the ink. After all, I didn't know it either until I tried to use it.
Anyway, it turns out Johnny doesn't know where he got it either. I said I would look into it if necessary, but I didn't really expect him to. Even if I found out the source, it wouldn't make much difference. I just asked to try to shake off Vincent's interest. I felt a bit guilty for making him help, but it was better than being questioned directly by Vincent.
Given the situation, there's only one way. I'll pretend to look into it, buy some time, and then say I couldn't find out. It wasn't a complete lie. It would be difficult to track down some distant acquaintance.
But what does Vincent plan to do once he finds that person? I was curious, but decided not to dwell on it. Unnecessary curiosity often leads to trouble. He was probably just curious.
Anyway, my probationary period will end soon, so I just need to endure for a little while longer. Once I leave this place, he'll forget about me quickly. In fact, it was absurd that we were having this conversation again. Yeah, that's me.
I'll tell him on a day when he seems in a good mood. I'll say I tried my best to find out but it was difficult, and apologize. He'll understand. I've been looking for the right opportunity.
The mansion was quiet during the break. Robert was taking a nap, so I was just walking down the hallway to get some fresh air when I met Joel.
"Oh, Anne."
"My stockings tore. Can you get me a new pair? I don't want to bother Alicia since she just went to rest."
I went to her room with Joel. I checked the design of the stockings she had been wearing and opened the wardrobe to find a similar one.
I knelt in front of her and placed her legs on my knees, carefully removing the torn stockings and putting on the new ones. She watched me intently.
"How are you adjusting to life here?"
"Yes."
"Any difficulties?"
"No. Everyone has been very kind and helpful."
She might think I'm just saying that, but I really haven't had any major issues. Serving Robert can be challenging, but it's not unbearable. Sometimes it feels like I'm about to die, though.
"How did you end up here, Anne?"
"I came because someone said they could introduce me to a good job."
"Oh. What if it turned out to be a bad place?"
"I know, right? I was lucky."
After making sure there were no wrinkles, I lowered her legs. Joel smiled and thanked me. Holding the torn stockings in her hand, she looked down at me. I was taken aback by her sudden closeness. She narrowed her eyes.
"You don't seem scared."
"Excuse me?"
"Are you reckless, or brave?"
Suddenly, what does she mean by reckless and brave? I couldn't follow the conversation, but I managed to respond.
"Not really. I'm quite timid."
"How timid? So timid that you can't even open your eyes at night?"
"That much..."
"I'm like that. When I'm alone, I'm so scared at night that I can't open my eyes."
Her sudden words made me widen my eyes. She straightened up, placing one leg on the chair and resting her cheek on her knee.
"I'm very timid."
"How timid?"
"Um, so timid that I can't sleep alone? I used to be scared of being with someone, but now I'm more scared of being alone. When you're alone, no one knows. If you need help right away, there's no one to help you. It's better to have someone around. Ideally, someone I want to be around."
"..."
"Anne too?"
Joel glanced up. I nodded. It was a sudden topic, but I agreed with her to some extent.
My relationship with Alicia isn't much different. We don't like each other, but we can't abandon each other. Alicia needs me to survive, and I need her to remember. In the end, we use each other for our own purposes. I kept Alicia around because she was the only one who could remember my death.
"There's no such thing as a relationship that satisfies everyone."
"..."
"Oh, I'm sorry."
I realized Joel's expression had stiffened. She looked sad, and my attempt to comfort her had made the conversation longer. I quickly bowed.
"Why are you apologizing all of a sudden?"
"Because you seemed upset."
"Upset? No, just... surprised..."
Her voice didn't sound angry. That's a relief. As I straightened up, her white hands suddenly cupped my face and lifted it. Her long, golden hair cascaded down on both sides. Seeing her face so close, I instinctively stiffened.
I opened my eyes wide. My mouth opened involuntarily.
So,
"Ah, it hurts! It hurts!"
"It hurts? A lot?"
"Um? Yes? Ah, it hurts! It really hurts!"
I flailed my hands and pushed her away. Joel just laughed, but she didn't let me go. She stretched and squeezed my cheeks, pulling and pressing them.
When I struggled like a lump of clay, she finally released me. I moved away from her on all fours and finally cupped my burning cheeks. They must be red.
"Ahahaha!"
Joel clutched her stomach and leaned back, laughing heartily. I rubbed my cheeks and looked at her in disbelief.
"I'm sorry. You were just too cute, and I couldn't help it."
"..."
It really hurt, even if she said she couldn't help it. I forced a smile and composed myself.
"You're not reckless, and you're not brave, so are you diligent?"
"Thank you."
"Huh?"
"For thinking I'm diligent. Thank you for your kind words."
I bowed and stood up. I rubbed my still tingling cheeks and glanced at the door. Can I leave now? I wanted to correct what I said earlier. Right now, I wanted to be alone, not with her.
"I heard you did something nice for Robert."
Joel changed the subject. I replied gloomily.
"It's nothing."
"I heard you asked Vincent directly?"
"Yes. Thanks to my master, it was all due to my master."
When I told Robert the reply had arrived, he looked stunned. His face was like he was in a dream. When I handed him the letter, he looked like he was about to cry. He couldn't even think about opening it, so the governess read it for him. Robert eventually burst into tears.
The letter from Robert's mother expressed how much she missed him and wanted to see him. Despite the distance, their hearts were the same.
"Thank you, Anne. Thanks to you, the young master's longing must have been somewhat relieved."
"It's nothing. I didn't do anything."
"But you did ask the viscount directly. The butler told me that you mustered the courage to ask the viscount, even though he was being strict. Your effort made it easier for me to talk to the viscount. I'm really grateful."
"You're too kind."
"I'm really grateful. In fact, I was starting to regret it when the reply was delayed. I guess I was giving up, just like the young master."
"Nurse."
The governess had the same expression as Robert. A sad yet grateful look. I felt a bit embarrassed, not understanding why I was receiving such a look. It was just a letter. Anyone could have thought of it, and it was just a matter of timing.
"When people are too busy, they only focus on immediate tasks. That's why their longing fades or they temporarily forget. Neither is good. The young master cried a lot after reading Robert's letter. Whether you told someone or not, you gave him the chance to read the letter and write a reply. Thank you."
"It's nothing."
I shook my head firmly. I don't understand why everyone is thanking me. I didn't do anything. I suggested it to avoid the risk of Robert climbing the fence again, which was just my selfishness. It just happened to have a good outcome.
Moreover, it wasn't entirely my doing. The governess asked, so Vincent must have agreed.
"You're really humble."
Joel smiled. It didn't seem like a compliment.
"But you seem like a good person."
"Thank you."
"It's not about your personality."
Her smile deepened, and warmth seeped through.
"You have a good heart."
"..."
"Want to hear something interesting?"
She composed her smile and leaned in slightly. She covered her mouth with one hand, as if about to share a secret. She piqued my curiosity, and I perked up my ears.