It's hot. So hot that it feels like my skin is burning. Standing in front of it, my whole body is drenched in sweat. I wipe the sweat with a towel and scoop up the ashes with a shovel. Sweat droplets from my forehead fall onto my face. My vision keeps blurring. The shovel keeps slipping because of the sweat on my palms.
While I was firmly gripping the shovel and scooping up the ashes, someone called out to me.
"Hey, maid."
"..."
"Hey. Hey."
When I didnât respond, he tapped my shoulder with his fingertips. I pretended to be annoyed and ignored him. Then, he seemed to get upset and leaned in closer.
"Hey! Are you listening to me?"
If I didnât acknowledge him, he would keep bothering me, so I sighed and stood up. I plunged the shovel deep into the pile of ashes and stood there with a slanted posture. The man shivered and hunched his shoulders when I faced him directly. I looked at him indifferently and opened my mouth.
"Why."
"Did, did you talk to her?"
"About what."
"Did you ask her what she thinks of me? I asked you last time, remember!"
Ah, that. I recalled the persistent requests he had been making since last time. I dug my finger into my ear and sighed.
"Yeah. She doesnât like you."
"Why, why?"
The man looked shocked and made a pained expression. Of course, itâs obvious. I shrugged and picked up the shovel again. Then, he grabbed my arm and demanded to know why she didnât like him.
"Because youâre poor."
"What?"
"She doesnât like you because youâre poor. She loves gold coins. Can you fill her arms with gold coins?"
"Of course I can!"
"Stop talking nonsense and give up. Iâm saying this for your own good."
Just by looking at me working here, itâs clear that even silver coins would be a stretch. My daily wage barely covers a single meal. Besides, you canât handle her personality.
I shook off his hand and resumed scooping up the ashes. The man stood there, frozen in shock. Is it really that shocking? No, she didnât even give you a second glance, and you fell for her and deluded yourself.
But itâs not my problem. I was focused on scooping up the ashes when the man suddenly pointed at me.
"Donât lie to me!"
"Iâm not lying."
"You are lying! Youâre trying to drive a wedge between us!"
"Are you crazy?"
The heat must have finally driven him mad. Whoâs doing what? I snorted as if I had just heard the funniest thing in the world. But the man was confident.
"You, you, you like me!"
"Are you out of your mind? Iâm already struggling enough without you adding to it, so just go away."
"You like me! Thatâs why youâre acting this way!"
"Want to get hit with the shovel?"
I plunged the shovel back into the pile of ashes and glared at him. My sweat-soaked hair was sticking to my face. Sensing my threatening demeanor, the man shivered again but didnât back down.
"Do you think I would like someone like you? A maid like you has no right to look. Hey, youâre overstepping your bounds. Youâre a hundred times less pretty and a hundred times less lovable than her. I like her, and no one else. Got it?"
"I donât know about that, but thereâs one thing Iâm sure of."
I listened to his nonsense calmly, then picked up the shovel with both hands again. I shook it to remove the ashes and looked at him.
"Youâre going to get hit by this."
"What?"
"Come here, you bastard!"
Thereâs no reason to back down if heâs going to throw a fit. I swung the shovel at him as he started throwing things around in shock.
"How can you eat that! How can you eat that!"
"..."
There he goes again. I sighed. I bent down to pick up the fallen bread and dusted it off.
"Are you sighing now?"
"Because youâre throwing a tantrum like a child."
"Child? Youâre saying my behavior is like a childâs?"
"Exactly."
"Hey!"
"Why."
I met his fierce gaze calmly. After all, the one whoâs really upset is him. I had no intention of buying new food, and I didnât have the money to do so. In this situation, I was grateful to have this hard, tasteless bread to eat.
"If you donât want to eat it, donât. Iâll eat it."
"..."
"If you hate it so much, go earn your own food."
The fewer people eating, the better. I put the bread back on the table and took off my hat. I untied the scarf covering my head and looked at my face in the cracked mirror. My already dark skin was even darker with the ash. It wouldnât come off easily even with the scarf.
Suddenly, something flew from behind and hit the wall. It was the bread I had just put back on the table. Then, another object flew and hit the wall, breaking. It was a dish I had salvaged last time.
I stared blankly as objects kept flying and hitting the wall and the back of my head. Ah! I even let out a scream. Alicia was throwing everything she could get her hands on.
I knew that reacting would only make things more annoying, so I didnât even glance at her. I kept looking at my face in the mirror, but then my hair was suddenly yanked back. In the mirror, I saw Alicia, her eyes filled with venom, pulling and shaking my hair. I was so taken aback that I couldnât even scream.
"You wicked woman!"
"Let go."
"Do you think I will? Youâre treating me like a dog. Just wait! Iâll seduce a noble and change my fate. When that happens, I wonât even care about someone like you!"
"Do what you want. Let go of my hair."
"Never!"
"Is that so?"
I immediately lunged at Alicia. I grabbed a fistful of her fine hair and pulled. Alicia let out a sharp scream, but I ignored it. It hurt as if my scalp was being torn, but I inflicted the same pain on her.
"Ah! Let go! Let go!"
"You let go first!"
"Let go! I canât let go!"
We struggled, each grabbing the otherâs hair, until Alicia finally let go. Seeing her fall to the floor, I stepped back.
Both of us had disheveled hair. My hand was full of Aliciaâs long hair, like a clump of fur. Alicia glanced at it and clutched her own hair.
"Sniff, my hair!"
I threw the hair in my hand to the floor. I watched it fall and then smoothed my own hair. My tangled hair got caught in my fingers.
Then, my fingertips touched something hanging precariously on one side. It was a dirty, ash-covered hair tie that had lost its original color.
Ah, I sighed and quickly shook off the ash. The embroidered flower pattern at the end caught my eye. I stared at it blankly until Aliciaâs scream brought me back to reality.
"What are you going to do about my hair!"
"What are you going to do about mine?"
"Is my hair the same as yours? How much effort did I put into it!"
"Now you wonât be able to put in that effort, so cut it. Sell it at the market."
"Bad girl! This is all your fault! Itâs all because of you! How can you be so shameless? Youâre a curse!"
"Like father, like daughter, I suppose."
A child born to a devil wouldnât be normal. I shrugged, and Alicia suddenly burst into tears. She cried bitterly, tears and snot streaming down her face.
"Ughâ I donât need any of this! I should have died instead!"
"I hope you have a good outcome, even now."
Her sharp gaze pierced me. I pretended not to notice and looked at the mirror. I was about to wipe off the ash again but threw the scarf away. I was tired and my temper was flaring. Behind me, Alicia sobbed bitterly. Seeing her cry like that, I realized she still had the strength to live.
But I didnât want to hear her cries anymore. I scratched my head and turned around, and Alicia glared at me as if she had been waiting for it.
"Just wait! Iâll seduce a noble or even a royal and elevate my status! Sniff, Iâll throw away this miserable life and leave! When that happens, it wonât matter how much you try to impress me!"
"You must be mistaken."
I scanned the room. A dilapidated, old house with cracks everywhere. When it rains, water leaks through the roof. When it snows, I have to clear the snow from the roof to prevent it from collapsing. In winter, it feels like Iâll freeze to death, and in summer, it feels like Iâll die from the heat. Even a slight breeze makes the whole house shake.
But even in this house, I can breathe and live another day. Itâs the only place that protects me from death.
"The life of a noble isnât always beautiful. Sometimes itâs worse than you can imagine, like hell. Youâll come to think that living in this dilapidated, old, and poor house is happier."
"What? How do you know that?"
"Because I know."
I scanned the room again and then fixed my gaze on Alicia. She frowned. Her face asked, "What are you talking about?" I just shrugged.
* * *
I came across their news one day when I picked up a newspaper lying on the street. The large photo and the text below it marked the end of their story.
[Earl James Christopher Arrested on Suspicion of Murder]
Only then did I realize that I was just a fleeting character in their story.
That day, I hid in a village for a while with Ethanâs help. The village was quite large, with many residents, and they didnât pay much attention to outsiders. Perhaps this was also his intention. Thanks to that, I could hide there without much difficulty.
The pouch Isabella gave me before we parted contained gold coins. I managed to cover my living expenses for a while with them, but I lost everything to a pickpocket after a few days. Even the belongings I had were taken by beggars, leaving me with nothing but my body.
I became a penniless wanderer, living on the streets, and my life gradually approached death. I remember feeling bitter about how my life had never been smooth.
Then, I suddenly thought of my father and my third brother in Filton.