"It might seem cold, but it's the truth. Vincent probably confided his secrets to you thinking that if you revealed them, he could just kill you. The others probably felt the same. Violet might not have thought much of it, but I did."
"……"
"Are you disappointed?"
"No."
Although sudden, it wasn't particularly surprising. Perhaps I already knew. I was sold to the gold coins from the start. I, who had faced death at every moment, didn't expect to be safe just because I was living in a luxurious mansion.
Secrets must remain secrets.
Pretend you didn't see, pretend you didn't hear, and never reveal anything.
Unnecessary curiosity only brings trouble.
I had reminded myself of this many times. If I kept my mouth shut, I might have a chance to live another day. I had seen many people disappear because they spoke out of turn. So I kept my mouth shut, and sometimes I had to take risks and show my true feelings. Everything I said and did to them was a matter of life and death.
And it was the same now.
"Are you going to kill me?"
"What do you think I'll do?"
"I think you will."
I gave a calm, honest answer. Ethan just laughed at my words.
Silence filled the car. We were looking at each other, but neither of us could easily speak. Was it because of the situation, or because of the naked sincerity he showed? We were cautious, sparing our words as we observed each other.
Then Ethan looked away first. He tilted his head and let out a sigh as if in deep thought.
"I agonized over whether to tell you, but since this is the last time, I think it's better to let you know. It would be pitiful if you never found out. He's a bit naive and lacks cunning. I was frustrated by it."
"Really?"
His sudden words refreshed the tense atmosphere. I looked at Ethan with a puzzled expression, and he smiled, shaking his head.
"Lucas has been in poor health since he was young. He often had seizures and couldn't even dream of going outside. He mostly stayed in his room, and we felt sorry for him, so we often wrote letters to him. Lucas would write back to us to pass the time."
"……"
"One day, he started adding color to the ink, and he would send his replies in those colors. Violet got purple, I got red, and Vincent got gold."
Listening to him, I couldn't hide my trembling heart. A long-standing curiosity was finally about to reveal the truth. As the truth flowed from Ethan's lips, my gaze wavered. Ethan's smile turned mischievous as he observed my reaction.
"He often talked about you to me. Even the simplest stories made him happy. Now… I understand his feelings. With Vincent hiding in the mansion and being left alone, he must have been very anxious. Those replies must have been a great comfort to him."
The gold ink was intriguing, but the letters themselves held no great meaning. I had just written formal replies to match the content he sent. I was fine, the weather was good, thank you—those short words he read with joy.
You knew from the beginning.
"Lucas liked you."
"I know."
"……"
"I know very well."
I buried my face in my hands. My tightly pressed lips trembled.
Now everything made sense. His kindness from the moment we met, his attempts to talk to me, his clinginess out of fear, and his sincere words when he suggested we run away. I really understood now.
"Let's run away together?"
I finally understood the courage behind those words.
Tears flowed endlessly. I couldn't control my sorrow. I couldn't even recall a single memory. The day was too terrifying, and I just trembled. So I asked Ethan what I couldn't bring myself to ask Vincent.
"Lu, Lucas, Lord Lucas… How did he…?"
"He said you need to prepare yourself."
Finally, the tears burst forth.
If I had run away with Lucas back then, would things have been different? If we had held hands and fled together, would the current situation be different? Could I have avoided leaving him behind, bleeding?
But I never answered any of his words.
There were no more words after that. The silence was painful. I clutched my heart and couldn't even shed tears for Ethan, who seemed to be holding back.
After a while, the car stopped. Ethan opened the door and patted my shoulder. I wiped away my tears, grabbed my bag, and got out of the car.
But.
"Where are we?"
It wasn't the mansion. We were still in the forest, but the village below was visible. It wasn't the village below the Bellunetta mansion where I had gone with Lucas before. It was an unfamiliar place.
I turned to look at Ethan.
"Weren't you going to kill me?"
I said harshly, my face red from crying. Ethan smiled, his round eyes showing affection.
"Of course not. I was really on my way to meet Vincent."
"You were planning to run away, weren't you?"
"……"
"I was told the butler sent someone to deal with me. It seems he was worried that the master would be moved by a mere maid. So I was running away. I want to live."
I calmly explained the current situation. I couldn't understand why Ethan, who had just been threatening me, was now showing such kindness. Did he have another motive? I watched him warily, but Ethan, who had been listening to me, didn't hide his smile or affection.
"Maid. You were just a page in this old story. I don't think you need to be involved in this. There's no need for you to be a sacrifice. Forget everything here and go on your way."
"……"
"Don't worry about this place. It's something we've been expecting for a long time. Both I and Vincent have prepared a lot, so now we just need to finish it."
Ethan spoke as if comforting me. Unlike the confused face I saw a few days ago, he now looked strangely relieved. Despite the complexity of the situation, he took it lightly.
"Will you be okay? I know a lot."
"Hmm. Were you planning to tell someone?"
I immediately shook my head. Ethan smiled, as if he had expected this, and approached me. He extended his hand.
"Maid, you saved my friend. You comforted my brother, who had always been withdrawn, and helped us be together again. I will never forget that kindness. Never."
I hesitated, and he took my hand.
"I never called you by your name properly. Even though I knew it, I couldn't bring myself to say it."
"……"
"Pola."
His brown eyes looked straight at me.
"I wish you happiness."
I traced the hand that held mine. Ethan shook it up and down. When I looked up at him again, he smiled affectionately. I knew how difficult the future would be for him, and for them. Even I, who couldn't get involved in their story, knew it well.
Yet, he comforted me. He didn't hesitate to tell me to forget everything and move on.
"Lord Christopher."
"Can you call me Ethan now?"
With a mischievous smile, I tried to hold back my tears and smiled widely.
"Lord Ethan."
"Yes."
"I wish you the same."
"……"
"I wish everyone happiness."
Ethan also smiled widely at my words. Our tightly clasped hands separated, and I turned around. I clutched my bag with both hands. I took a deep breath and ran forward. I ran with all my might this time too.
My world wasn't beautiful. It was a life of poverty, where children were sold for money, and even the basic conscience of being human was lost. The only thing that bloomed in that gap was sorrow. Nothing was free from bitterness.
But I realized something for the first time since coming here.
Life can be beautiful.
Moments shared with others can be joyful.
There are people who wish for my happiness.
That it's okay to live.
I felt that the end was truly approaching. Once I left this place, I would no longer belong to that world. I would never see them again.
I thought of the ending of the book I loved.
The protagonist's final departure, leaving everything behind.
"Ah. It's over now."
At that moment, Vincent came to mind. The man who would believe I had left well, the man who would stay behind and wait for the day we meet again.
'I will bring you to my side. Definitely.'
My vision blurred. I didn't stop the tears from flowing. I might never see him again. I might never run into him by chance on the street. Would he look for me? Would he come for me? I didn't even get to say goodbye. But it was okay. I didn't want to say goodbye.
I wished everyone happiness. But I wished for his happiness the most. I wished that Vincent's life would be filled with happiness, that he wouldn't hide in his room alone again, that he would move forward, that he wouldn't face danger, and that he would learn to love the world again.
And that someday, from afar, I could see him again.
I wished for this with all my heart.
The darkness swallowed my small body.
Keeping the secret a secret.
Thus, the Count's secret maid was swallowed by the darkness and disappeared forever.