Epilogue

Epilogue: I Pray Our Future will Be a Happy One

There’s something I’ve been wondering about for a while now.

If it’s Ashley… wouldn’t he believe me?

If it had been me in his position, I would have had all kinds of doubts and suspicions about myself: How had I known that someone was trying to kill me? How was it that Rona had known Flügel’s true identity and intentions?

Lufrey and Sarah, and of course Oswell and Flügel, had all had their doubts at one point or another. And when any of them would ask us reincarnators about anything, we already knew that even if we tried to explain, they probably still wouldn’t believe us. So the siblings and Leila and I all agreed to keep the truth from them. But Ashley never even tried to ask. He’s so trusting that he didn’t feel the need to question me on anything.

I feel like I should be happy about that, but somehow I have rather mixed feelings on the subject.

Ashley and I have been connected for a long time as master and servant, and have become even closer now as lovers. And some day…. I suppose it’s not unlikely that we’ll become husband and wife as well.

With how our relationship stands, I don’t feel right keeping secrets from him. Especially not something this important. Which is why I’ve been waiting for the right timing to explain everything to him, but the opportunity just isn’t presenting itself.

“Hey, Ashley? The break is going to be over soon, but is there maybe… some place… that you’ve been wanting to go?”

“Is there anywhere that you would like to go?”

If I must choose, I’d want to go somewhere that we can be together. Alone.

There’s just too many nosy people living in this house with us. As Father is someone who is incapable of caring properly for himself, all the servants in our household have become unbelievably competent in their work. If they notice a single speck on one piece of tableware, one of them will swoop in and polish the whole set until it’s gleaming. The reason, of course, is that if Father were to notice, he would end up doing everything himself to the point of neglecting his health. And, the unexpected consequence of this superhumanly capable staff is that when I want to spend time alone with Ashley, I need to make sure I don’t leave any gaps for such care.

The only problem is, I’m completely full of such gaps. The moment I come home, I feel like half the household sweeps in to manage and take care of things for me.

Before I can even think that it might be time to tidy my room, one of the elderly maids is already inside fluffing the pillows and straightening out the sheets. When I tried to go out to buy new clothes, I was detained by a gaggle of young maids who did everything from taking my measurements to who-knows-what in order to have my clothing needs met. Whenever I start to feel even the slightest bit hungry and I’m considering fixing myself a light meal, the chef somehow already knows and is at my door with a pot of black tea and a tray full of cookies. ‘Oh no. Is it already that late? I should hurry and take a bath now,’ I’d think to myself as I leave my room only to find a whole slew of workers from the estate stationed at my door on standby.

At this rate, I’ll turn into a fool who can’t do anything for herself.

And as the servants were handling everything for Father, he was in turn free to lavish even more care upon me.

Every day he would pay calls to my room just to visit. And every day he’d come bearing gifts. Even though. It isn’t. My birthday…… Or any other gift giving holiday for that matter.

So like that, with my being cared for hand and foot, with my every trifling fancy and whim being seen to in an instant, Ashley and I had very few opportunities to spend time alone together.

“No, not really. There’s nowhere you’d like to go?”

“Not in particular.”

“Oh……”

What was I expecting? He’s never been one to want or ask for much…..

Well I, for one, am sick of walking around the garden just to try to get some alone time. And since we’ve come all this way, we might as well visit the nearby town. It should be a nice change of pace. Hopefully that will help me work up the nerve to talk to him too.

“So you would like to go out? With whom, in what manner, and to where do you wish to go?”

“What leading questions those are, Ashley,” I reply back coyly.

If you ask me all that so expectantly, I guess I have no choice but to answer them outright, even if it is a bit embarrassing. Actually, you know what? I do want to say it.

“With you, just the two of us, to a place where no one will be able to disturb us.”

How rare, seeing such an obviously satisfied, smug grin on your face…..

“I will make the preparations at once. Please wait for me in your room. I will be there shortly to escort you.”

＊＊＊

“Please change your clothes immediately,” are the first words that Ashley says to me upon entering my room. Even though I had actually tried to dress up nicely for once!

The clothes aren’t too gaudy, and they’re easy to move in. I also made sure to pick something that was cute and girly and I even bothered to put on a little makeup too. None of it should look garish or too much. I was very careful in everything that I chose! I also made sure to put on the hair ornament that Ashley gave me.

Since I was going to be walking around with Ashley, I payed very close attention to every little detail. I tried my utmost best to create an appearance that would make me look like his beautiful girlfriend when I stand next to him instead of his kid sister.

I went through all this effort because I can’t stand the idea of bringing shame to Ashley. Especially since this should be considered a date. And of course, I had been looking forward to Ashley complimenting me for looking so cute.

So, to hear him tell me to change after all that…. hurt quite a lot.

“Does it…. not look good on me?”

“…….”

I had really hoped he would deny it…..

“Why do you have to dress so beautifully when you go out?”

“Well, because……”

It’s obvious for a girl to want to psych herself up like this for a date. At home, you can be a bit negligent with your appearance, but when you go out, it’s only natural that you want to look pretty, right? That’s just how society works, isn’t it?

“Is there any need for anyone other than me to see you looking so beautiful? The town will be overflowing with prowling eyes. Ojousama, you…..”

Ah.

This doesn’t seem to be going anywhere good.

“Are you trying to tempt other men aside from me? Wearing lovely clothes and smelling like flowers, are you going out there to search for someone else to enjoy yourself with? I think you may have forgotten, so let me remind you, but your servant is completely captivated by you. So please don’t go making me jealous by dressing up and looking even more radiant than you always do.”

I knew it.

“I would be satisfied! Even if you just complimented me normally! Stop!” I cry, my face growing hot.

I wish you wouldn’t look down on me with that expression. And please don’t say such embarrassingly sweet things. I’ll lose all reason. If you say things like that, then I won’t have a choice but to compromise on my appearance.

“If we don’t hurry and leave we’ll be out of time before we know it.”

“Then you should quickly go change. Go wash your face, and for clothes, wear this. Your hair is fine as it is.”

Looking at the dress that Ashley had picked for me, I suddenly realize something.

Thinking about it, on all the other occasions when Ashley had chosen something for me, everything he decided on had something in common. Though it could just be my imagination…..

But if this had all been done on purpose…… Then, could it be that Ashley actually is someone who has a past life and reincarnated into this game as well…..?

“Ashley? Um…..”

“What is it? ……Should I stay in the room to help you get changed?”

Don’t say that so seriously. When you say it like that, it doesn’t even sound like a joke. And with you being so handsome, my heart can’t handle these sorts of jests.

“O… o….”

“Okay?”

“No! No! That’s not what I was trying to say! I just wanted to ask… to ask……”

Once the conversation gets too carried away, it might be hard to bring this up again….. If I’m going to know, I need to ask this now.

“Well, it might just be my imagination but….. I’m getting the feeling that the things you pick out for me usually end up being yellow. So, I was just wondering…. is there any special reason for it?”

I can’t say this rule applies to all Otome games, but in most of them, the capture targets often had a specific color they were associated with. And it was the same for the game that this world is based on.

For Gray-Senpai it had been blue. Lufrey was purple. Alec’s was green. Rudolph’s was red. The hidden character had black. And Ashley. For Ashley it was yellow.

But, from what I’ve seen of the other capture targets, I’ve never noticed them bearing any particular affinity to their color. Since Gray-Senpai’s a reincarnator like me, his actions don’t count. And whenever I saw Lufrey, I never saw him with anything purple. His things always seemed to be black or white for the most part. Rudolph as well, whenever he came to class, he was never carrying anything in any showy shades like red. I didn’t really see Alec much, but I don’t recall him giving off a strong affection for green either.

But for Ashley, whenever he recommended something for me, picked something out, or gave me anything, a majority of the time it was something yellow. At one point I had wondered if he just liked the color, but none of the things that Ashley himself uses are yellow. On the contrary, he seems to prefer colder colors.

All of a sudden, Ashley looks away, refusing to look at me. He brings his hand up to cover his lips and hesitates for a moment, not saying anything.

“You might say it’s out of a sort of desire to monopolize you……” he says very softly.

With his hand covering his mouth, the sound is so muffled that I can’t hear him properly and it’s impossible to read his lips. When you’re asked something that you don’t want to answer, everyone, without fail, will end up keeping much stronger control over the volume of their voice.

It couldn’t be….. Is what I would normally think, but there’s already all sorts of crazy reincarnators popping up around me that it wouldn’t be that unbelievable to add one more. And, even if Ashley is a reincarnator, that doesn’t mean I’d have to change anything. He’d still be the boy that I grew up with. He’d still be the same person that’s spent all these years with me. But, if he had reincarnated, and in his past life he had loved some other girl, then I don’t know how I’d feel about that…. I wouldn’t criticize him for it of course, but I can’t say I’d be happy about it.

“Ashley, do you also have memories from your past life?”

“I, what…..? Past life?”

Incomprehensible. That’s what his expression is saying to me. And he’s looking at me with an increasingly disappointed gaze.

“Let’s forget the outing. I think I need to call you a doctor?”

“No!!”

If you react like that, then how am I supposed to come out to you about being a reincarnator?

“Then… Then… Why do you always choose yellow things for me, Ashley?”

If he had reincarnated, then I could believe that he unconsciously chose objects in his own image color. But if he didn’t, then why?

“Because yellow is my color.”

“So then you are a reincarnator!”

“Reincarnate….? Have you been reading too many novels? Or did you hit your head somewhere?”

Ugh, this is awful!

“But… but you said your color….” I whimper weakly.

“That’s because,” Ashley cuts himself off. “Please try to remember it yourself,” he finishes curtly.

What more am I supposed to remember? I already regained memories of my past life, isn’t that enough? What could it possibly be? Did I maybe do something?

“If you don’t want me to call for a doctor, then please get some rest and at least sleep for the rest of the day.”

“But I’m fine! There’s nothing wrong with me! Really. You don’t need to worry. So let’s forget about calling off our plans, okay?”

I never imagined he’d be this concerned over all this. In fact, his reaction itself was completely unexpected.

He didn’t express excessive doubt. There was no sudden epiphany. Now he just thinks I’m crazy! And it looks like him always choosing his image color was pure coincidence! Well at least one thing’s for sure: Ashley is a true person of this world.

“Cecile,” he pauses, his eyes darting away for a moment and then back again. “Ojousama, you definitely need a good rest,” he says, enunciating every syllable.

From time to time, when Ashley tries so hard to just say my name without the suffix, I find him so adorably charming! But not so much when our date is in danger of being cancelled. That’s where I was finally planning to explain about my reincarnation to him. And….! I was practically on cloud nine just imagining our date. I can’t just let him call it off like this!

“I don’t! I’m completely fine! And, I’m in a perfectly healthy state of mind. You really don’t have to worry…..”

“Crazy people never think they’re crazy. Denying it is all the more reason for concern……”

“No! That’s…..! Ugh. Really. Originally, if everything had gone according to the scenario, I would have bullied you and bullied Leila and then I would have been killed for it. But since I reincarnated I was able to avoid that fate!”

“Scenario…..? What in the world have you been talking about since a while ago?”

Agh! This isn’t how I wanted this to go!

＊＊＊

Taking a deep breath, I explain to him how I am a reincarnator. I tell him how I realized that this was the world of a game from my past life’s memories. And about how my character was originally an existence that was supposed to be antagonistic to Ashley. We were meant to be enemies, and it was Leila who he was actually fated to be with, not me.

I explain that Leila and the Randolph siblings have also all been reincarnated.

And, because Rona knew how all the game’s scenarios would play out, I explain that that’s how I knew that Oswell was going to try to kill me and that the prince had secretly started attending the academy.

I explain all this to him roughly, just trying to get him to understand.

I hit a bit of a snag when it comes to telling him about Rona’s and Leila’s true genders though. I struggle to find the proper words to help Ashley understand. And I do my best to keep my explanations short on what an otome game actually is. There’s just so much that Ashley doesn’t know about, it would be impossible to tell him everything in detail in one sitting.

If we lived in a world with televisions at least, things might not be so complicated, but in this world such things don’t exist. So obviously, he’s never even heard of a video game, which means I had to start my explanations from there. And when it came to finally telling him that this world that we’re currently in is actually the world of a game, I gave him a very quick rundown of it, only touching on the most vital parts. My whole story thus far has been far-fetched at best, so there’s no need to go into specifics on this particular part when it sounds even more insanely unbelievable. Besides, is this detail really that important?

From start to finish, Ashley has been staring at me skeptically. And it wasn’t just once when he stopped me, insisting that he call for a doctor. Every time I frantically stopped him, just barely managing to make him sit back down and keep listening.

When I finally finished telling him everything, Ashley heaved out a huge, exaggerated sigh.

“Do you…… do you believe me……?”

“Honestly? No. I don’t believe it at all.”

Of course not. Even to me, it sounds like a lie.

“That’s understandable…. But, you know, for me? This is my reality. And I just didn’t want to keep hiding it from you anymore. Since I’m planning to be with you from now on and forever, Ashley…..”

“For the present, please stop tempting me like that. Do you want me to push you down right here? Right in the middle of our conversation?”

That hadn’t been my intention though?

“Don’t say such happy, enticing things please. To me, who’s been waiting since our childhood to hear something like that from you, every word you say…. do you know how they affect me? They’re each like a strong shock to my senses, every sound that crosses your lips.”

“You’re getting off topic again! Just listen to me!”

“You’re red all the way down to your neck, you know.”

See? It really does take time to force a conversation back on track! If I get caught up in his pace, I’ll never get through this.

“As I was saying! Even if you don’t believe me….. I just wanted to tell you everything. And I wanted to say that our lives have nothing to do with the game’s story anymore. You and me and everyone else, our destinies are no longer confined by the set scenario. We are ourselves, and only ourselves. And, even if we aren’t fated to be together, that means nothing to me. Because I love you, Ashley…..”

“Ojousama……” he murmurs, wrapping his arms around me and holding me tight. As I lean into his warmth, I feel tears spring to my eyes.

I’ve finally, finally told him everything. The feeling of not having any secrets from him is more liberating than I could have imagined. And, in another sense, I now feel like Ashley has truly accepted all of me. It’s like a great wave of relief is washing over me, causing my eyes to sting and tears to threaten to spill over onto my cheeks.

With one arm still firmly entwined around my waist, Ashley reaches up with the other to lovingly stroke my head. Up until now, I feel like I was usually the one doing this for him. But he’s quickly surpassing me. His height has outstripped mine now, and although he might not be as tall as the other capture targets or my father, in general, as a man, he’s still plenty tall. I think I have to say my goodbyes to my small, adorable servant.

“How many people?”

“…..Huh?”

How many people for what?

“Let’s say, for argument’s sake, that something called a past life does exist. In your past life, in total, how many men was it that courted you? How many did you favor? How many did you whisper sweet words of love to? How many did you kiss? How many did you give yourself to?”

“…….”

Without warning, I can feel my mouth falling slack. And then I’m grinning. I just can’t help it.

Ashley’s face instantly grows dark, displeased. He’s even pouting a bit.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry…. You’re just too cute….. However, unfortunately, I died young in my past life so…. although it’s a bit embarrassing to admit, you’re the first for me, Ashley. In every respect.”

“Is that so. Then your past life and whether you were reincarnated or not, such details are inconsequential. None of that matters to me. I can’t say I didn’t have my questions when we were dealing with matters pertaining to His Highness the Prince or Arkwright-Senpai, but that doesn’t mean I was all that curious either.”

True. He never once questioned me about them.

“You are Cecile Alldington, daughter of a Viscount, and I am Cecile Alldington’s servant. Nothing will change that.”

That’s not really true, is it? But if I try to correct him, I get the feeling that our conversation will be derailed again. No, I’m sure that it will.

But, but, but……

“Ashley Carlisle is indeed my servant….. but you’re not…. only my servant….. you’re also my boyfriend, right?”

“Please excuse me. I seem to be steadily losing all self-restraint, so I’ll be waiting outside.”

Seeing Ashley trying to leave the room, I tilt my head to the side, somewhat puzzled.

“You’ll wait outside? For what?”

“You will be heading out soon, will you not? With me, just the two of us, to a place where no one will be able to disturb us,” he utters silkily.

He thankfully seems to have given up on calling a doctor as well as forcing me to rest. So, does that mean he knows I’m not crazy? Then, for now he’s decided to believe my story about my past life?

Then. Then…. We can get on with our date now?

“I’ll be done changing in a second! So wait for me, okay!? You have to wait!”

With my thin, upturned eyes and sharp features, yellow might not suit me but…. It can’t be a bad thing to wrap myself in that child’s color.

My servant is extremely cute. With his face that is more beautiful than a girl’s and a voice that is neither high nor low. With those delicate, graceful hands. With those eyes that crinkle and close partly when he smiles. He’s completely charming and lovely. But he’s also the most manly, trustworthy, and reliable person in the world.  At times he may be unfriendly, blunt, curt, cold, but to me he is always the most kind and caring person.

I pray that this immense, blessed happiness that I feel right now will stay with us for eternity.

And that this child will stay right here next to me until death do us part.

As I know that only death could tear me apart from him.

Fin