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Going to Ask for Permission
To be honest, I haven’t really listened to a single word that Father has said to me since I came home.
Every time we’re even in the same room together, the single thought that I’ve done something wrong ends up rampaging through my head until I can’t think about anything else. It’s considered common knowledge that a master dating her servant is unacceptable behavior, and that fact just won’t leave my mind to the point that everything he says to me goes in one ear and out the other. I just can’t imagine that he’d be okay with our relationship.
The fear of Father hating me, of him denying us, left me tossing and turning all night. I haven’t been able to sleep well for days now.
When should I even tell him? Should I do it sooner rather than later? Ah, whatever Father’s been talking at me about, he seems to winding down with it. So now? Is now the right time?
“Fath–“
“Master.”
With my fists balled up and clutching hard at my dress, I had finally dredged up the courage to call out to him, but then, in the most dispassionate tone possible, Ashley beats me to it. Agh! Darn it! Why!?
“Could I trouble you for a moment of your time?”
Even though Ashley said that like it was nothing, after hearing those words I can physically feel all the blood draining from my face. Are you really okay with just bringing it up this easily!? I know Father’s personality is quite good, and he does seem to care for you a lot Ashley, but! But!! Aren’t you worried about this at all!? What if Father is opposed to us being in a relationship? Have you thought about what to do then?
Father as well isn’t perturbed in the slightest, he just smiles and nods his head approvingly.
“If it’s something that you don’t want this child to overhear, shall we change locations?”
“Ehh!?”
I can’t even listen in? Wouldn’t it be fine for me to at least be there, Ashley? I plead at him with my eyes.
“Yes. I would very much appreciate that.”
“Why! Why can’t I hear it too!?” I demand, a slight whine finding its way into my voice as I cling onto Ashley. Father chides me disapprovingly. “There are some things that men need to discuss among themselves,” he says.
But doesn’t this matter concern me!? Isn’t Father the one misunderstanding something here?
“It will be fine.”
“What…. will….”
Like h*ll this is okay! I’m about to hiss furiously at him, but before I can open my mouth, Ashley gives me a peck on my forehead. I swear I could feel my heart stop for a moment. What are you going to do if he sees!
But just who am I talking about? It’s my brilliant Ashley, of course. It was a calculated move. He must have verified first that Father had already turned away before swooping in with that kiss. But even so! That’s being way too reckless!
I want to chastise him, but I still haven’t gotten used to this sort of skinship yet so the words won’t seem to come out.
So Ashley leaves the room, grinning at me with a roguish smile over his shoulder just before the door closes behind him. All the while, I’m stuck standing there, frozen in place, just glaring my frustrations at him.
＊＊＊
Spoiler alert, Father ended up accepting our relationship.
I waited and waited until I was sure that enough time should have passed for their little chat, and then I went off in search of the two. I heard their voices coming form the workroom after looking through half the house. And then, well, it wasn’t my proudest moment, but I pressed my ear to the door. As I was straining to hear what they were saying inside, it opened. The door that is.
Air suddenly whooshed across the right side of my face that had been pressed against it, and I ended up meeting Ashley’s icy gaze. I hurriedly backed away to let him out and following right behind him was my Father. He was smiling bitterly as he looked down on me.
It was difficult to ascertain the meaning behind that smile, but before I could ask, Father raised his hand to stop me.
His smile turned even more bitter as he spoke.
“You two. I’ll take your feelings into account,” he sighed, patting my head.
Ashley just nodded, not bothering to add anything more to that, and Father too continued to stand there in silence after saying those words, just patting my head over and over. But what was that supposed to mean!? What was I to make of that?
“That… Umm! Father, you….. Ashley and I…..”
“He’s kindly agreed to recognize our relationship.”
Finally hearing Ashley say the words I’d been waiting so desperately to hear, all the tension and stress that had been building for all this time drained out of me instantly.
＊＊＊
As a Viscount and the current head of the Alldington family, Cedric Alldington had very little greed. The fact that he has no inclination for rank or peerage has been clear to me since the very beginning.
And it’s precisely due to such lack of ambition that he could even consider encouraging me to accept such an otherwise unthinkable proposal for the last couple of years. He has been quite persistent all this time, so naturally Master’s mind jumped to that matter first when I requested to speak with him. After leaving Ojousama and coming to his office, it’s the first thing that Master spoke of.
“Do you finally have interest in becoming my son?”
In one sense of the word, I am interested. However the circumstances to which that will happen aren’t exactly what he had in mind.
Apparently Master had been exceedingly pleased with my father. And I always figured that those good feelings he had for him must have been transferred to me, myself, after we had spent some time together in the same household. The reason being that it had only been about a year since Master had brought me into the mansion when he had first asked if I had any desire to become his adopted son.
He told me that I was free to decide for myself what I wanted. And if I agreed to the adoption, he declared that he would pass on all of the Alldington family’s wealth and assets to me.
It would seem that he had been planning to find a good family for Ojousama to marry into and that, as a woman, she would have better luck achieving happiness through those means rather than through inheriting the Alldington family’s money and property.
However, there was no way I could accept such an offer.
By the time he had first proposed the idea to me, it was too late. I already belonged to the Viscount’s daughter. I had devoted myself to Cecile Alldington, both body and soul. And to accept Master’s proposal meant I would become her sibling. I would be forfeiting any chance I had of loving her as a woman.
Therefore, I rejected his offer. But despite my adamant refusal, Master was not cowed. For all his talk of my having the freedom to choose, he has remained persistent in this matter over the years. He has continued to pester me at every opportunity. Even in the letters he penned to me in which he confided about prospective marriage proposals for Ojousama, he would without fail slip in a few words to inquire whether I hadn’t grown interested in becoming his son.
And as it stands now, I was interested. But not in the way he thought. I had a condition of my own.
“Yes. I’d like you to give me the Alldington name.”
Seeing Master’s bright smile upon hearing my answer, I felt a small pang of guilt. The fact that I could see traces of his daughter in his face likely has a lot to do with the prick to my conscience. But I’m weak to those eyes.
“However, Master. Rather than the current assets that you possess, I have something I desire more.”
“If you’re telling me that our current territory isn’t enough, then it should be fine for you to expand our family’s influence once you’ve inherited my title.”
No. That wasn’t it at all. I have little interest in matters of domain.
No, what I wanted is something that Master holds much more dear to his heart than mere territory. If there was no other way, it’s something that he would even be willing to lay down his life for. Fully knowing this, I found the words extremely difficult to say. Though not saying it was never an option for me.
“No. Master, the thing that I want is what you treasure most in this world.”
“Ah. Quite ambitious, aren’t you? Well, whatever it is, it’s yours.”
Ah. He must be thinking I was referring to an object. Don’t look at me with those guileless eyes that look so much like hers. They make my chest ache.
“So long as my daughter and I have everything that we need at hand to live a good life, whatever it is….. I won’t be unhappy.”
“Thank you.”
Though I could tell that he had guessed what it was that I wanted, he still was able to accept it. He did his best to put up a strong front and reply to me with a smile. Frankly, I was relieved.
I didn’t think that I possessed the courage to ask for such a thing from a person who was wholly ignorant of my thoughts.
“I see. So you’re truly going to become my son…..”
“Yes.”
If you’ll allow me to be your son in that sense, I would be exceedingly happy.
“She’s been a handful since the beginning, hasn’t she.”
“I won’t deny it.”
She’s willful and obstinate. She’s a cry-baby. And she lacks a confounding amount of sense. But even those faults are all just another part of her charm to me.
“But that’s what makes her so adorable. Giselle and my child.”
“Yes.”
As the daughter of such a generous and kindhearted couple, she has inherited so much from them. I know quite well just how much she owes to the Alldington husband and wife.
“That child reminds me so much of my wife…. in the way that she’s just the slightest bit foolish sometimes. Though it wouldn’t be wrong to say that’s what makes her so loveable.”
Just…..the slightest bit…?
From what I remember, the Mistress had seemed a steadfast, dependable person. It seems to me that it’s just my master and love that tends to be foolish….. and I would hardly say it’s only a little.
“On the other hand, over the time that you’ve been living here, I feel that you’ve become a lot more like me. Sorry if that’s something you didn’t want to hear.”
“No, not at all. I consider it an honor.”
Viscount Alldington is famous as a fine figure a man. They say the years can’t take hold of him, that no matter how many pass, he’s still dashingly handsome. I can only be happy to be compared with such a man. Incidentally, Ojousama has also often said that a man like her father is her ideal type, so if I’ve grown to be more like him, that’s very convenient for me.
“Because you’ve become so much like me, I’m afraid you’ll even try to pull off the same stunts as I did at your age.”
The Alldington couple finally tied the knot after having a passionate love affair.
Or so I’ve heard. Their romance was a hot topic among the young noble ladies at the academy. It was apparently a fairly famous love story. I, myself, only know of it through hearsay. I wasn’t able to learn about any of the details (I had wanted to investigate more on numerous occasions, but when I thought about sneaking around to snoop on the couple that has only been open and generous with me, I just couldn’t), but I did find out enough to know that they had apparently eloped.
“Rather than having her run off, I would feel much more at ease if she got married here, where I can continue to watch over her.”
That is to say, Master must have run off together with Mistress.
“And just so we’re clear, if you ever do anything to make her cry, I won’t forgive you.”
“You’ve come to terms with this quite easily….?”
“Perhaps. So long as you don’t run away with her. From the moment I knew that my darling child was a girl, I’ve been terrified wondering whether some idiot like me was going to come and snatch her away from me or not.”
Mistress was a very weak person. They must have known that her body would not be able to bear a second or third child. As soon as she was born, it was inevitable that Ojousama would be their one and only precious daughter. And after the death of his wife, Master must feel that she’s the only thing left that he has to protect.
“But I’m not saying that I don’t love you, too. I’ve been watching you grow up since you were a little boy. You already feel like a true son to me.”
In that regard, I felt the same way. Growing up, I had been blessed to have both two mothers and two fathers.
“And a child between you and that girl is bound to be cute.”
From outside the room, I heard the sound of footsteps approaching the door. And then they stopped.
So she had grown into a young woman who wanted to do things like eavesdrop, had she? What wretched manners.
Master, his gaze toward the door, had a strained smile on his face.
“It seems we’ve kept her waiting for too long. This child really is such a handful. She seems to have tried her best to allow us some privacy, but she must not have been able to wait any longer.”
With a silent nod, I went to open the door, but she must have had her face pressed right up against it since I nearly walk into her as I head out.