As I started to hang out with Yamazaki, my behavior became worse and worse.\n\n
Yamazaki was always getting into fights. I naturally got caught up in the middle of it.\n
Apparently, I was a strong fighter.\n
The more fights I got into, the more my name became known. Yamazaki was the same way.\n
The two of us were always fighting with someone else. I donât really remember why. There was a group of people who also fought all the time, and for some reason, our activities overlapped with theirs. For no reason at all, we would start fights and win or lose repeatedly.\n
I wanted to make a mess of everything.\n
I think I always had that feeling.\n
More than half a year had passed since I met Yamazaki.\n
At that time, Yamazaki and I were already known to a certain extent. Even when we were up against older opponents, we were not afraid to challenge them to a match. Even if we lost, we sometimes fought again and eventually won the match.\n\n
It wasnât that I liked fighting.\n
I just felt more relaxed when I was fighting.\n
Iâm not sure why. Maybe it was good to let out the impulses that were inside of me. All the misery, bitterness, and other emotions disappeared as violence. Even though I was beaten and torn to pieces, I felt strangely refreshed.\n
I met with Yamazaki, wearing clothes of poor taste.\n
I walked with Yamazaki, talking about serious things and silly things. Whenever I found someone to fight with, Iâd try to start a fight with them. It didnât matter if it was late at night or not. Even if we were about to be arrested, we would run away as fast as we could.\n
When I came home, my mother was always waiting for me. Whenever she saw me injured, she would call out to me with concern.\n
(Hey, where have you been?ăWhat happened with your injury?)\n
She looked like she was about to cry. Over and over again, she asked me not to go out at night. But I had no intention of listening to those words. I only thought it was annoying.\n
(Shut up!ăYouâre in my way, move!)\n
I flung my shoulders aside and walked up to the house in my dirty clothes.\n
I didnât know why I was so irritated, but I just wanted to escape.\n
The thought of going back to school to study scared me.\n
Iâm in a good mood now. Please donât interrupt me.\n
Thatâs what I thought.\n\n
It was one day.\n
Yamazaki said to me, \n
âWhy donât you fight with me?\n
I was drinking a little milk from a carton. What?ăI asked back.\n
âYou and me, letâs have a match.â\n
I drank it all and threw it in the trash can in front of the convenience store.\n
I knew that someday he would propose such a thing. We had never fought before. So, I agreed immediately.\n
âSureâ\n
Yamazakiâs physique was clearly superior to mine. Still, I had no intention of losing.\n
Then, the day of the match.\n
We snuck out of the house and went to the place we had decided on beforehand.\n
Yamazaki and I faced each other in a park with few people. The method of determining the winner was simple. Whoever was standing in the end won.\n
I was on fire. I already knew that Yamazaki was strong. I knew that if I could beat him, I would be the strongest.\n
After âŚâŚ5 minutes, I was the one who was standing.\n
Yamazakiâs figure had fallen. Yamazaki couldnât stand up to my relentless attack on his legs and couldnât stand up anymore.\n
(Oh, shit.)\n
Yamazaki said in frustration. I was filled with joy. Iâve done it, I thought.\n
I didnât expect to be knocked into despair after that.\n
After a short rest and after making sure Yamazaki was able to walk again, we parted ways.\n\n
There was a large crosswalk on the road to my house, a four-lane road with a lot of traffic. Even though it was already late at night, many cars were passing by.\n
I noticed that it was a red light and stopped.\n
On the other side, I saw my mother. She was apparently looking for me. She walked around, looking around, and then found me. Then she patted her chest.\n
What a pain, I thought. Sheâs probably going to get angry again anyway. Why canât they just leave me alone?\n
I made sure the light was green and crossed the street. My mother was waiting for me there. As I stepped onto the sidewalk, I caught a glimpse of her and tried to walk past her.\n
She grabbed me by the sleeve.\n
I shook her off, but she grabbed me again. I gave up and turned to my mother.\n
(I wonât say anything else. Please come home soon.)\n
The sad look on her face was annoying. I was getting more and more annoyed.\n
(Shut up.)\n
I could only reply with the same words. It was such a hassle to think of a response.\n
I turned on my heel and tried to go back the way I came. I decided to wander around a bit more before heading home.\n
I heard the sound of the air being torn apart.\n
And thenâŚ\n
(Watch out!)\n\n
A distressed voice sounded from behind me.\n
What?ăI thought, but by then it was too late.\n
When I turned my head to the side, I saw a tanker truck running at high speed. I couldnât move my legs. My legs were sewn to the ground in surprise and fear.\n\n
My mother grabbed my arm and pulled me.\n
I got thrown toward the sidewalk.\n
My mother was about to fall with me onto the sidewalk, but in her haste, one of her sandals had come off.\n
She lost her balance and fell to the side.\n
For a moment, our eyes met.\n
Then, a tanker truck passed in front of me at great speed.\n
There was a loud noise. The sound of a person and a vehicle colliding. The sound of tires scraping against the ground as it rushed to apply the brakes.\n\n
I couldnât understand what had just happened.\n
I slowly stood up.\n
There was no sign of my mother who had been there earlier. All that was left was a road with tire tracks.\n
Where did she go?\n
I looked in the direction of the truck and saw my mother leaning against a pole, more than 20 meters away from me.\n
My heart jumped.\n
My breathing stopped.\n
The temperature was escaping from my body. The mumbled word âmomâ faded in my mouth.\n\n
I walked closer.\n
Step by step. Step by step.\n
Carefully.\n
Gradually, the scene becomes more and more vivid.\n
The truck driver gets out of the driverâs seat and calls someone on his cell phone. I couldnât hear his voice.\n
All I could see was my mother lying there.\n
As I stood close to her, I noticed something.\n
Her head was caved in.\n
It was like a basketball that had lost its air.\n
Her head was deformed strangely. Her face was bright red. And there was blood dripping from her mouth.\n
I grabbed her hand. It couldnât be, I thought. No way could this happen.\n
My motherâs eyes were slightly open. Maybe it was the last remnant of a light.\n
Her small mouth moved.\n
(Iâm sorry.)\n
My motherâs hand left my hand.\n
The world inside of me was broken at that moment.\n\n
I donât remember the details of what happened after that.\n\n
<hr class="wp-block-separator is-style-wide">\nTN: Thatâs all for today⌠It must have been a hell of a trauma.\n\n