I entered Miyagiâs room and unbutton one of my blouse.
The air is as delicate as ever, but Iâm getting used to it.
After receiving the 5,000 yen and sitting in place, Miyagi brings a glass of barley tea and cider and places it on the table. Then, after some hesitation, she sat down next to me. Itâs a little further away than before, but Iâm relieved to see one side filled for the first time since the summer vacation ended.
Everything is not quite back to normal, but it is getting closer to being back to normal.
Sometimes things donât work out, but that is inevitable. If I do things the same way I did before the summer break, even if only in form, my feelings will eventually follow suit.
Miyagi spreads out the textbooks and handouts on the table without a word. I donât know if she is motivated or not, but she maturely fills in the printouts.
I too open my textbook and notebook and begin to do my homework.
What I said to Miyagi last time,ăYou should take the same college as me,ă were irresponsible words. Miyagi told me that there was way she could go, but I think it would not be difficult as it is.
After the summer vacation, we both studied together.
The number of times Miyagi says to me,ăI donât understand, so teach me,ăhas definitely decreased. Still, I donât think it will reach the pass line.
However, if she do it diligently now, she might be accepted. It requires her motivation, and I am willing to teach her to study if Miyagi says she will go to the same university. But I cannot force them to do so.
Just because we went to the same university doesnât mean anything.
The end date is set and I agree with it.
I just somehow thought it would be fun to have Miyagi at the same university.
ăSendai-san.ă
I hear Miyagiâs voice and I look up.
ăDid you miss something?ă
ăItâs not about that. What was that today?ă
I knew it.
Why Miyagi called me two days in a row.
I knew what it was, but I pretended not to know.
ăWhatâs that?ă
ăYou grabbed my hand in the hallway.ă
ăI was just trying to pick up something that Miyagi dropped off.ă
ăYou donât have to grab my wrist or anything, do you?ă
ăItâs just a little help, thatâs all.ă
ăI donât think Iâd call that one a hit.ă
This is problematic.
I donât want to be pursued for something I donât want to talk about.
Besides, Miyagi would be in trouble if I told the truth.
It is better for both of us to keep quiet about the thought that I didnât want to return Miyagi to my friend.
ăâŚWhat do I want you to answer? I will tell Miyagi what she wants me to say, so say it.ă
I propose a peaceful solution.
If there are words she want me to say, I would like to say her and be done with it. Prolonging this conversation will not result in a mutually satisfactory outcome, so it is better to end it quickly, whether it is appropriate or not.
But I know that Miyagi will not be satisfied with such an answer.
ăThatâs not what I want you to do.ă
ăThen, what?ă
ăTell me the reason why you grabbed me.ă
ăI wanted to touch Miyagi, so I just touched you.ă
I mention a part of the reason why I grabbed her.
ăWhatâs that? Answer me properly.ă
ăI answered.ă
ăSo what was the reason you wanted to touch me?ă
You shouldnât ask those questions.
Itâs more peaceful that way.
ăYou know, Miyagi, youâre asking because you know I wonât answer, right?ă
I ask to break up the barrage of questions, but there is no answer. I have no choice but to speak the following line.
ăI donât have to have a reason, I just have to want to touch you.ă
Then I reach for Miyagi.
She is a little further away than usual, but I can reach Miyagi right next to me. I touch her cheek and press my palm against it. Miyagiâs face contorts into a grimace, but she doesnât let go of my hand.
The body heat flowing in from the attached area is pleasant, and I slide my hand from her cheek to touch her neck.
Not that I want anything more than this right now, but I think my feelings for Miyagi are impure.
ăI donât want to touch you for no reason.ă
ăIf you say so, Miyagi must have a reason when she touches me, right?ă
ăThatâsâă
Miyagi was at a loss for words. Then, instead of speaking the rest of the story, she peeled off my hand.
ăSendai-san, I donât understand. You do all kinds of weird things at school and here.ă
Miyagi says in a low voice and drops her gaze.
ăI donât understand it eitherââ Miyagi, hurry up and give orders today.ă
I am not confident that I can stay in this uneventful situation. I know that the screw that stops reason from working in front of Miyagi is useless.
Though we have the same shape as usual, we have not yet been able to return to our original form. Shapes are easily broken with the slightest provocation.
It is better to be ordered than to have something happen as it is. Miyagi should only give bland orders, so the situation will be better than it is now.
ăThen let me pierce you.ă
Without looking up, Miyagi uttered the word âpiercing,â which was so unexpected that I couldnât help but look back at her.
ăPiercing?ă
ăYes. Piercing Sendai-sanâs eară
Miyagi looks up and tugs at my earlobe, perhaps in retaliation for touching her ear yesterday.
ăDefinitely not.ă
I assure, Iâm headed for Miyagi.
I donât want something that stays behind like a piercing.
Miyagi is quick to want to make marks and has actually made marks on me. Iâve allowed that to happen until now, but thatâs because those marks are quickly disappearing.
But piercing is different.
I canât just accept it the same way I have always accepted it.
ăWhy is it not good?ă
ăItâs against the school rules.ă
I grab Miyagiâs arm as my hand, which has no intention of refraining, continues to touch my ear in a fluffy manner. If I pull hard enough, the fingers that were pinching the earlobe will honestly move away, and the voice will change to an unspoken one.
ăSendai-san, your skirt is too short, your hair is dyed, and youâre already in violation.ă
ăThis is about as acceptable as it gets.ă
ăWhat do you mean, Sendai-san, itâs always the same.ă
ăYou know what I mean?ă
ăYou make up rules on your own and look like itâs the norm.ă
ăThatâs fine, I could at least make up some rules. Besides, the teacher doesnât get mad at me for my skirt and hair, so that means itâs not so much of a violation.ă
School rules are not so strict.
Although they are tightly defined in writing, the teachers who administer them are not as strict as they are in writing. If I follow them for the most part, I wonât be offended, and I will be considered to be following the school rules.
I make a rule to stay within the âballparkâ and I stick to it.
ăThatâs not fair.ă
ăIf you think itâs not fair, Miyagi can do it too. Youâd look prettier with a shorter skirt.ă
I grabbed Miyagiâs halfway length skirt and tugged a little, and before I could make it short enough to not be offended, I was hit on the back of the hand.
ăFine, at this length. I donât care about that. Just let me get your ears pierced next time.ă
ăYou should get another order. That kind of thing is against the rules.ă
I said it once and for all.
But Miyagi looked like she wasnât about to give up.