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Chapter 70
Miyagi is too unreserved — 70
Translated by KaiesV
Edited by KaiesV
I think I spoke with Miyagi for the first time at school.
I had called Miyagi up once to talk to her, but that was more like an extension of our time together. But not earlier. It was the first time I had what seemed like a conversation in front of my friends.
It wasn’t a big deal, but it seemed like a big deal, and it drove me crazy. I don’t have to turn around, but I want to.
「Hazuki, you’re acting kind of spaced out, are you seriously okay?」
I hear Umina’s unexpectedly loud voice and look next to me.
「Sorry. I was just thinking.」
「You’ll bump to someone again.」
She laugh at me in a lighthearted tone, and my response was, “Sure,” and walks down the corridor.
I listen carefully, but I don’t hear Miyagi’s voice.
Only Umina and Mariko’s voices are in my ears.
「That girl we just met, Miyagi, right?　Are you close with her?」
Umina says, as if remembering.
「I know it’s Miyagi, but we don’t really get along.」
「You two were walking together on summer vacation.」
「With who?」
「With Miyagi.」
「I think you have the wrong person.」
I’m used to lying, so the words come easily.
「I don’t think I’d mistake Hazuki for her.」
Umina, perhaps too confident, bites back.
「And I remember it well because I saw it in a weird place.」
The name of the station that Umina mentioned was the place where me and Miyagi went on our summer vacation and watched a movie together. So the two people she saw were definitely me and Miyagi, and she was not mistaken.
「Now that you mention it—」
Before entering the classroom, I tell my memory to correct the lie I told.
「My relatives had a house in that area and I went there. That’s when I ran into Miyagi.」
「Eh, Hazuki. I have relatives in that area. I have a cousin who lives near the station too.」
Inside the classroom, Mariko said while avoiding her desk, and Umina, looking bored, continued,「Even Hazuki sometimes forgets.」
「I’m just human.」
「Well, either we get along or we don’t, it doesn’t matter. I was just wondering if that girl was the reason you didn’t hang out with me over the summer break.」
Umina sits down and looks at me with resentful eyes. I do not go to my seat and continue talking with Umina.
「You said you were going to a prep school for summer vacation. Why was Umina there?」
「My boyfriend and dates.」
「In a place like that?」
「We talked about going somewhere different once in a while. I don’t see any kids from our school there, do I? So I went a little out of my way.」
It backfired.
Miyagi should have deliberately chosen a place where we were unlikely to meet anyone we knew.
I never would have guessed that Umina would have gone that far with the same idea.
「You guys are so close. I envy you.」
I don’t want to remind her of the start of the conversation, although she doesn’t seem to have any intention of pursuing what happened with Miyagi.
I smiled and proceeded with the conversation, and it seems that the last comment I made was a good one, as her mood improved just a little. She talks about where me and Miyagi went that day, what we ate, and so on.
I don’t mean to be jealous of other people’s happiness, but it’s not a story that interests me much, and Umina’s voice becomes one that I can only hear.
I look down and look at my hands.
It is obvious, but there is no trace of Miyagi.
「Did you get hurt when you bumped into her?」
Mariko peeks into my hand, as if she is suspicious of me staring at it.
「I didn’t. I’m okay.」
「Really?」
「Look, I look fine right?」
I wave my hand.
「Passed. Now you can hold hands with your boyfriend on a date.」
「I don’t have anyone like that.」
「I know. Just make it up as you go along.」
「Even if I make it, I might not hold hands.」
「Why? Just plug it in.」
Mariko looks at me strangely.
「Do you hold hands that much?」
I ask this question not necessarily to either Umina or Mariko.
The question is not one that I ask with any deep meaning. I don’t think the answer will help me.
Miyagi came to mind, but Miyagi is not my girlfriend, nor do I want to walk hand in hand with her. But when I’m around her, I’m aware of her. It’s the same as before.
「Normally, you’d hook it up.」
Mariko puts out her hand as if teasing me, and I hold it.
Mariko’s hand is not so different from Miyagi’s hand.
It’s warm and soft.
Perhaps even Umina’s hands are the same.
But Miyagi is clearly different from the two.
I don’t want to hold hands with her, but I do want to touch her. Earlier, when I bumped into her in the hallway, she naturally grabbed my hand. These feelings are not as healthy as Mariko suggests.
「What, do you have a crush on someone?」
Umina looks at me with a face of nothing but interest.
This is getting troublesome.
This is a pattern that is pursued by those who say they don’t have any, saying,「You must at least have someone you care about.」
「Who, who is it?」
I also hear Mariko’s happy voice, and as I’m thinking of an appropriate answer, the chime rings.
「Class is about to start.」
Aided by a righteously timed chime, I take my seat, and the teacher soon enters the classroom.
Class begins and the teacher’s voice echoes.
I copy the words on the blackboard into my notebook.
On the white paper, my right hand spells “Miyagi” in the margin and erases it.
I want to talk about it at school.
I hear my own voice in my head, overriding the teacher’s voice.
…It’s ridiculous.
There is nothing to talk about with Miyagi at school. For the most part, there are still long periods of silence even when we are alone.
I push the extraneous thoughts out of my mind and turn to a page in my textbook. If I concentrate only on filling in my notes, the class will end as usual, neither long nor short. As I sat down to eat lunch with Umina and the others, I heard a ringtone and took my phone out of my bag.
Sitting back down and looking at the screen, what I received was the usual message from Miyagi, filling up my after-school schedule. It’s unusual to be called out two days in a row, but I’m not surprised.
I grabbed her wrist in the hallway.
That’s what she want to pursue.
The problem is that I can’t explain why I grabbed Miyagi’s wrist in front of everyone. I could answer that I wanted to touch her, but I don’t think Miyagi would be satisfied with such an answer. They would ask why you wanted to touch them.
I didn’t want to give Miyagi back to my friend.
There is no way I could say that behind the desire to touch, there was such a feeling. It was an emotion the size of a kompeito*, but inappropriate to direct at Miyagi.
I send a message to Miyagi to make an after-school appointment and get up from my seat.
The thought of being pursued for what happened in the hallway makes my head hurt.
It’s a hassle.
But I didn’t find it troublesome to meet Miyagi.