My hair, which she was supposed to avoid touching as much as possible, was the first thing she touched because it was in the way of putting on my makeup. The hair band that was smilingly taken out of my hair raised my bangs, and my hair was also pulled over my ears, eventually revealing my piercings.
I knew this would happen because I knew that if I was going to wear makeup, my hair would be in the way. I could have refused and left this room, but I didnât, so I got what I deserved. I know that, but my brow wrinkles.
ăI wanted to make you up once.ă
I hear a bouncy voice.
Unlike me, Sendai-san seems to be in a much better mood.
ăOkay, from the primer.ă
A small container is removed from the case and a cream-like substance is placed on the forehead and nose.
Considering that makeup cannot be applied without touching the face, it is only natural, but Sendai-san is close. But our eyes donât meet. She has a serious look on her face and is spreading the primer she placed on my face.
I am restless.
I close my eyes, not knowing what to do, and just as Iâm waiting, the primer is applied around my eyes as well.
ăNext, foundation.ă
I donât know why she bothered to explain, but with the declaration, I hear the sound of something being taken out of the case. Then, what may be foundation is applied to my face.
I felt like a piece of drawing paper.
I feel itâs not so different from putting paint on my face, just because it has a fine name like âprimerâ or âfoundation.â
Itâs easy for me to say it because I just sit there in silence, but itâs boring because thereâs nothing to do. When I tried to speak, Sendai-san told me not to talk, and when I tried to touch her because I was curious about her face, she told me not to touch her.
I feel depressed as I try to do something and was stopped. After a while, Sendai-sanâs hand stopped and I opened my eyes.
ăIsnât it okay already?ă
My eyes meet those of Sendai-san, who is looking at me with a serious face.
ăThis is just the beginning. What Iâve been doing is only preparation, just the preparation.ă
ăIâm bored. I just sit still. Itâs boring.ă
I grab Sendai-sanâs hand as sheâs about to take something out of the case.
ăHave a little more patience.ă
ăI donât want to.ă
ăWhat do you mean, you donât want to? Just give me 10 more minutes, and Iâll do your face.ă
ăThen, 5 minutes.ă
Then she takes her hand away, and Sendai-san gives a small groan. Then she would stare at my face, take something out of the case, and tell me to close my eyes or open them. Eventually, after five minutes of eyebrows and eyes being touched, I mouthed the words,ăThatâs enough,ăagain.
ăFive minutes is just too short to finish.ă
Sendai-san says, sounding dissatisfied.
ăBut you promised me five minutes.ă
ăOkay, Iâll do your blush and lipstick second. Itâll be done in a minute.ă
I didnât say it was okay, but Sendai-san took what looked like blush and a lipstick from a case and put them on the table.
Arguing will only tire me out, and if I go back to my room now, my face will be turned into drawing paper.
ăPromise me youâll end up with those two.ă
I didnât want her to swear on the pierce, but Sendai-san glanced at my ear and said,ăOkay.ăThen she picked up the blush and stroked my cheeks with a brush larger than a paintbrush.
What she is doing to me looks like she is painting a new face on my face. Itâs a skill that seems to be linked to her grades in art, and Iâm not the best at it. My grades in art were not very good.
ăThe lip, Iâm going to apply it directly.ă
Sendai-san declares.
But it wasnât the lip that is touched, but her fingertips, which are placed softly.
From the middle of the lower lip to the edge.
Slowly tracing my lips.
This has happened many times in the past.
Sendai-san never touches my lips for no reason.
My heart felt like it was squeezing and I pushed her arm.
ăIâm going to put lipstick on it.ă
Without resistance, her fingertips move away and the lip sticks to my lips in place of Sendai-sanâs fingers.
My temples twitch on their own.
I donât like lipsticks very much. I donât like the sticky feeling and only use it when I have rough lips. I am still in the mood to wipe it off as soon as it is applied. I want to push Sendai-sanâs hand, but I hold on to my own hand tightly.
I donât want my hand to go crazy and get something sticky on it besides my lips.
The lip comes off my lips when my hand starts to ache from gripping it so hard that my fingernails dig into it.
ăItâs done. You can take that.ă
Sendai-san points to a hair band.
I did as I was told and took it off, holding up my bangs, and she handed me a hand mirror.
ăAny thoughts?ă
I look in the mirror at the prompting.
The reflection is me, but it appears to be someone else who is not me.
I looked at my lips and saw that they were painted the same color as Sendai-sanâs.
It doesnât seem to suit me very well. Itâs the same color as Sendai-sanâs lips in front of me, yet they look completely different.
I know I should not touch them, but I touch them with my fingertips.
My lips are sticky, unlike usual.
Why is it that when I kiss Sendai-san with lipstick on her lips, it doesnât bother me so much, but when it is applied to my own lips, they feel unusually sticky?
ăMiyagi, any thoughtsâŠ?ă
Prompted, I looked at Sendai-san, not at the mirror.
ăâŠMy complexion looks better.ă
ăItâs not wrong, though. Tell me youâre getting prettier.ă
ăThat just sounds weird.ă
ăIt doesnât sound weird. I put on makeup to make you pretty, so of course youâre pretty.ă
ăIt doesnât suit me very well.ă
ăYouâre pretty, I really mean it.ă
As I had expected, Sendai-san utters what I can only assume is a teasing remark. If sheâs serious, I think she should go to an ophthalmologist. If she donât need an ophthalmologist, she should just shut up. The extra words are unfamiliar to me, and my back itches when they were said over and over again.
ăDo you want me to teach you how to do it so you can do it yourself?ă
I give the mirror back to Sendai-san.
ăItâs fine. I donât need it.ă
ăIf you donât want to do it yourself, I can do it for you.ă
ăYou donât have to. Youâve had enough, no? Iâm gonna drop this.ă
ăWait a minute. Since Iâve done your makeup, why donât we go out for dinner now?ă
ăI wonât go. Didnât I said before the holidays that I wouldnât go out with Sendai-san. Besides, is this already okay?ă
I touch Sendai-sanâs neck.
The marks I made on her have not yet disappeared.
ăâŠI forgot.ă
ăItâs still there, but itâs still clear.ă
Itâs not as clear as it sounds.
If she wanted to hide it, she could. But she donât want to be told she have to hide it and want to go out, and itâs boring to be hidden. I wish they didnât disappear after the holidays.
ăI guess Iâll stop.ă
Sendai-san sighs and leans back on her bed. Sendai-san touches her neck with her hand, though there is no way she can be sure with her fingertips. The visible red mark was hidden by her hand, and I grabbed it.
ăWhat is it?ă
Sendai-san says, surprised.
ăDonât move.ă
ăIs it an order?ă
ăNo. But I did what Sendai-san said and let you do my makeup, so I should do yours, too.ă
I meet eyes with Sendai-san, who is still leaning her back against the bed.
I pull my hand away from her grasp and see a red mark.
Sendai-san does not move.
I touched her lips with my fingertips.
I donât mind the lipstick as much as my lips. Iâve never felt bad about being kissed before.
I slide my fingertips down and stroke her chin and slide them down to the red marks.
I did not give her any orders, but Sendai-san would not catch my hand. When I put my face to her neck and touched the red mark with my lips, Sendai-sanâs throat moved.
ăI know the holidays are over already, butâŠă
ăI know.ă
Thatâs why I donât intend to leave a mark in a prominent place.
I unbutton one button of Sendai-sanâs blouse.
I slide my lips down, a little above the collarbone.
I press my lips close to the border between her neck and shoulders and suck hard.
I feel that Sendai-sanâs body temperature transmitted through my lips is a little higher than usual.
ăMiyagi, the remains of it.ă
She taps me on the shoulder and my lips part.
There is a red mark on it, though not as bad as the other day.
But itâs not noticeable, so it shouldnât be a problem.
My distance with Sendai-san is the closest today.
She smells good.
I donât think it would smell the same with her shampoo in the bathroom. Even with makeup, I and Sendai-san are completely different. She is more beautiful and smarter than me, and we cannot be the same even if we do the same things.
I sets my teeth against Sendai-sanâs neck.
As I exert force, the teeth burrow into the skin.
Itâs not like Iâm assimilating her, but I feel like Iâm getting closer to her. But soon I heard Sendai-san say that it hurts and I stop chewing. I licked the oozy teeth marks and put my lips under her ear, and she grabbed my arm.
ăIs this perhaps a punishment game?ă
Sendai-san says, as if remembering.
ăItâs not.ă
ăWell, what is it then?ă
This is not an order, nor is it a punishment.
Learn more
Pause
Unmute
I just want to leave a mark on her forever.
It can be something like a piercing. But Sendai-san wonât allow it, so this is what is happening.
ăIt doesnât matter what it is.ă
College started and so did her tutoring job.
More and more Sendai-san, whom I did not know, started to appear.
I think itâs okay to have a little bit of me among them.
She should allow a little trace to follow her around.
ăItâs not alright to me. Why?ă
Sendai-san pursues things that she normally would not pursue.
But no matter how many times she asks, I donât want to talk about the answer.
Because Sendai-san is doing something I donât know about.
How can I say such a thing? If I answered honestly, I bet she would say that is no reason to put a trace on it.
I press the tip of my tongue so hard against Sendai-sanâs body heat and lick her neck. Her body is still hotter than usual.
I put my lips under her ear and suck lightly. I donât know if Iâve made a mark, but I crawl my tongue up and attach my lips to the earlobe. It feels nice and cool compared to her neck.
ăWait, Miyagi. Any more than this is bad.ă
Sendai-san grips my arm tightly in her grasp.
Still licking her earlobe and setting my teeth on it, she put her arms around my back and hugged me.
ăI donât like that kind of thing.ă
I press lightly on Sendai-sanâs body and hear her voice in my ear.
ăYouâre going to keep going, arenât you? Then you should at least accept a little of what I want to do.ă
ăLet go.ă
The arm around my back is strong.
ăI wonât do it again, so let me go.ă
I pushed hard on Sendai-sanâs body, which I had lightly pushed earlier, and she released me from her arms.
ăMiyagi, you should stop doing this kind of thing right away.ă
Sendai-san looks at me as I stroked a little above her collarbone.
ăI donât want Sendai-san to tell me that.ă
Iâm not the only one who touches the other person without refusal.
Sendai-san also touches me and even kisses me. Considering that, Sendai-san should not be able to complain about what I did.
ăMiyagi.ă
Sendai-san calls me and exhales with a gasp.
ăWhat.ă
ăWould you like to go out for dinner sometime?ă
I hear words I wasnât expecting and I canât help but utter,ăItâs okay.ăItâs not that I donât want to go, but itâs no fun if I have to be swept away to get the answer out of them.
ăThen, itâs a promise.ă
Before I could complain, Sendai-san grabbed my arm. The distance between us quickly closes, and Sendai-sanâs lips touch my ear, even though they are on top of my hair.
She kisses me firmly on my piercing.
ăWhy are you so quick to do that?ă
ăItâs an alternative to finger cuttingă
ăJust cut off your finger like a normal person.ă
ăItâs a piercing to remember my promise, and this is as good as it gets. If I donât swear properly, I might forget my promise.ă
Sendai-san says it as a matter of course, and I notice something strange.
ăHold on, isnât that strange? The piercing was for Sendai-san to remember to keep the promise I made, not for you to keep the promise you started to make.ă
ăMiyagi, thatâs too minor.ă
Saying so, Sendai-san fastened the buttons of her blouse that I had undone.