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Chapter 113
What I want from Sendai-san — 113
Translated by KaiesV
Edited by KaiesV
I spend time in this room with Sendai-san.
It is depressing to think about how much time I have left for that kind of thing.
At the end of January, I made nikujaga with Sendai-san, and it is already February. In another month, the graduation ceremony will come, even if I don’t like it.
「Miyagi, why don’t we take a break?」
Sendai-san, who had been penning next to me for nearly two hours, pokes me.
「It’s fine.」
There was a sense of urgency to study. However, being in a hurry does not mean that I will suddenly be able to do what I could not do, nor will I be able to stay focused.
I let go of the pen in my hand and look at the person next to me.
Even though I have not seen Sendai-san for a long while, I feel as if I have not seen her for a long while.
Probably because I have not been to school since February.
Maika and Ami both said they would not go to school during the free school day, and I didn’t want to go to a school I didn’t have to go to.
Although the free school period has just started, if I don’t go to school, I won’t even pass by Sendai-san. I must feel as if I haven’t seen her for a while because I never see her face unless I call her up like this.
「What is Miyagi doing now that you’re free to go to school?」
Sendai-san says, as if remembering.
「Studying?」
I don’t like it, but if I don’t do it, I don’t feel comfortable. So I have no choice but to study.
「Right. What about school?」
「I didn’t go. Maika and Ami didn’t go either, so it’s boring. Even Sendai-san didn’t go there, did you?」
Sendai-san is in this room today in plain clothes, not in uniform. That means she came from her home, not school, which means I will not see Sendai-san when I go to school.
「Well, yeah.」
Sendai-san replies unwillingly.
Her notebook spread out on the table is lined with neat letters. I think her handwriting is beautiful, although some of the characters are out of the ruled lines.
It’s the same as her appearance.
Her appearance is well put together and she is neatly organized so that her teachers will not be offended if she strays from the school’s rules.
When I am next to her, I can’t help but wish I could be like Sendai-san.
She writes beautifully, can study well, and looks good.
If I could be like that, I would feel a little more confident.
I exhale quietly so that Sendai-san can’t hear me, and then approach the bed and back it up.
The words in my notebook disappear from my vision, and I close my eyes tightly.
With a small stretch, I open my eyes and see Sendai-san’s long hair. She is not wearing her uniform today, but unlike winter break, she is wearing a blouse instead of a turtleneck. But her long hair is in the way and I can’t see her neck well.
Her unbraided hair is beautiful, but I can’t tell if she is wearing the necklace or not.
I reach up and tug lightly on her hair.
「What is it?」
Sendai-san looks at me.
I paid her 5,000 yen for the order today so I can check to see if she’s wearing the necklace.
Once again, I entwine my fingers in Sendai-san’s hair and let go.
I think I should have done that.
There was nothing I hadn’t done before.
「It’s nothing.」
Sendai-san unbuttoned one button of her blouse as she answered shortly and moved her back away from the bed she was leaning against. Before I can ask why, the necklace is pulled out.
「Here.」
Sendai-san looks at me, as if it were a matter of course.
「I didn’t say to show it to me.」
「You were about to tell me.」
「I wasn’t going to tell you, I wasn’t going to.」
「I see.」
Sendai-san looks bored and puts away the necklace. But she pulled the hood of her hoodie, leaving the blouse unbuttoned.
「You promised to let me know when you got in, remember?」
「I remembered.」
How could I forget?
I am sure she is anxious because I made this promise to Sendai-san
If it doesn’t work out.
I will tell Sendai-san that I was not accepted.
I guess I don’t have to tell her if I don’t get accepted because I promised to tell her if I got it, but I don’t have the option of not telling her because she would know I didn’t get accepted if I didn’t tell her.
If I have to tell Sendai-san anyway, I would like to say that I was accepted.
「Do you think you’ll be okay for the exam?」
Sendai-san asks without changing the tone of her voice.
「I’m alright.」
「Then, good.」
I don’t think it’s okay if it’s not.
I don’t know what is good at all.
It’s a lie to say it’s okay, and I’m still not confident.
Sendai-san doesn’t notice such things.
I know it is impossible for her to be aware of the feelings that I have not expressed. Still, I think Sendai-san should be aware of my feelings.
「Sendai-san, do your spell to me.」
「Is that today’s order?」
「Yes.」
「Is the spell the one I did the other day?」
On the table, Sendai-san asks me a question with her cheekbones.
「It works, doesn’t it?」
I know that the “spell” that Sendai-san did the other day was not a spell at all. It’s like a prank played to annoy me, and I know it won’t work. Still, I feel that Sendai-san, who can do anything, can touch me and give me half of her strength.
「Give me your hand.」
Sendai-san turns to me.
I honestly put out my hand and she grabs it softly. And just like before this, her lips touched my fingertips.
I think it’s not fair that this kind of thing can be done so well.
Feeling somewhat hazy, I tugged lightly on Sendai-san’s bangs, and her lips touched the top of the second joint of my middle finger, in a different order of touch than the last time.
This does not make me feel more confident, but it is better than nothing. Even if I cannot become as good as Sendai, I will no longer feel the urgency to study.
Sendai-san’s lips touch the base of my finger.
Then something warm and raw crawls on the back of my hand.
I would find it cute if a dog or a cat licked my hand. But I don’t think it’s cute when it’s Sendai-san. There is a more other feeling in my heart. That’s probably because I don’t look at her with the same purity of feeling that I do when dealing with animals.
I strongly urge no one to do this kind of thing.
Only I can feel Sendai-san’s body warmth like this.
The tongue that was licking the back of my hand leaves and kisses the palm of my hand. But it only happened once, and Sendai-san immediately looked up.
「It’s done?」
When I ask, she squeezes my hand.
I do not squeeze back. But when I didn’t shake her off, Sendai-san said,「Not yet.」
Without a word of refusal, the sleeves of my hoodie are rolled up to my elbows. As I stared at Sendai-san, she pressed her lips against the inside of my arm. And then she sucks hard there as it is.
It hurts like a needle.
It seems as if several needles are flowing into my body from where her lips are attached, and the pain, which should not be a big deal, feels like a terrible pain. The needle travels through the body with the blood, gathering at the heart and continuing to prick and prick.
The lips are separated, shifted out of position and pressed against each other.
I still feel more pain than I should.
Sendai-san leaves two marks and looks up.
「Is this another spell?」
I know it’s not a spell, but as soon as I asked, it came back as a「spell.」
The area with the marks is hot.
Sendai-san kisses one of the two marks on it and pulls down the sleeve.
「Does this spell really work?」
「It is. Please believe me.」
「I can’t believe it because it’s Sendai-san.」
I don’t see how a mark that quickly disappears can be a spell. I could believe it if the traces remained until the day of the acceptance announcement, but there was no way that they would remain for that long.
「It’s going to be okay. Trust me sometimes.」
Sendai-san says irresponsibly.
「If I don’t get accepted, will you take responsibility for me?」
「That’s fine.」
「How?」
「Because Miyagi decided to.」
Sendai-san does not always make her own decisions.
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She throws them to me.
But it seems silly to think of a way to get her to take responsibility seriously, since I am sure she is just joking and not serious right now. Since there’s no point in being serious, I decide to end my break and grab a pen. But the pen I grabbed was snatched away by Sendai-san.
「What? You’re done with the spell, right?」
「It’s not over. There’s more.」
As she says this, Sendai-san crawls her fingertips to my lips.
「What you’re trying to do now, it’s not a spell. Definitely.」
I grab Sendai-san’s wrist and move her hand away from me.
「It was just the spell.」
「Sendai-san just wants to kiss me.」
「
」
Sendai-san neither denies nor affirms my words. She remains silent and reaches out to touch my lips, so I press her body.
「Miyagi.」
I didn’t tell her she could continue with the spell, but Sendai-san brings her face close to mine. So I brought my face close to hers and smashed my forehead against her forehead.
A thump, a dull sound echoed in my head.
「Ouch!」
Sendai-san shouts loudly and presses her forehead.
Of course, I am supposed to press my forehead, too.
「Are you stupid? That hurt, you know?」
「Sendai-san was wrong and it hurt me too.」
I didn’t mean to hit it hard.
But my forehead hurt more than I thought it would.
「I don’t know if I’ve forgotten everything I’ve just learned from the shock of it all.」
「It’s okay if you forget, I’ll study from now on. Also, I won’t see Sendai-san until after I finish the exams.」
「Eh, what? Is this harassment?」
「Wrong.」
I don’t think that not calling her out is harassment, but not seeing Sendai-san until all the exams are over is not a decision I’ve just made. I’ve been thinking about this since yesterday.
「It’s pretty much just until all the exams are over, right?」
「I have, but I’ll study.」
「Why don’t we do it together?」
Sendai-san asks in a slightly low voice.
「I’ll do it alone. Even Sendai-san has exams.」
It’s not that I can’t study with Sendai-san. She teaches me everything if I ask her, and it’s more fun than being alone. But now I want to do as much as I can on my own.
「Okay. We have to do right by each other.」
Sendai-san looks uninterested and closes my reference book spread out on the table. Her notebook is closed, and the pen and eraser are tucked away in the pen case.
「Sendai-san, we’re going to continue now.」
I open my closed reference book and notebook. But Sendai-san closes my reference book and notebook again.
「You know, Miyagi
」
No reply.
I don’t want to reply to Sendai-san who interrupts people.
「Don’t do a spell, just order me to kiss you.」
Sendai-san holds my hand.
「I won’t.」
「I know you haven’t seen me for a while.」
「So what?」
「Miyagi doesn’t want to?」
「I’m fine without it.」
「I see.」
Sendai-san let go of my hand and leaned back on the bed, saying something boring. And she says nothing more.
Usually, she puts me in a situation where I have no choice but to order him to do something, but today she backs down so easily that I feel bad. So I will tell her this from me.
「——If you want to do it so badly, do it.」
「Is that an order?」
「Sendai-san, I know you want me to order you around.」
The answer is not returned.
Instead, Sendai-san moves away from the bed that she had been using as a backrest, and puts her face to mine.
A hand touches her cheek before her lips and strokes it softly.
My eyes meet Sendai-san’s.
I stared back at her and she didn’t close her eyes, so I closed mine and our lips touched.
I feel like I haven’t kissed her in a long time.
Soft lips feel better than hands touching cheeks.
Soon Sendai-san pulled away and tried to kiss me again, so I pushed her shoulder.
「Miyagi.」
「This is over.」
I told her shortly and squeezes my own arm.
Then I opened the reference book and notebook that Sendai-san had closed.