I move the black cat under the pillow to the bookshelf.
As I was replying to the messages sent by Maika and Ami, the chime rang. It must be Sendai-san because I sent a message to her saying,ăCome over now,ăafter returning home from school, as I had promised five days later.
When I check the intercom, I see Sendai-sanâs image on the monitor.
It is later than I expected.
âNowâ means âimmediately,â which means come quickly.
I have been waiting for quite a while since I sent the message.
I complain over the intercom and unlock the entrance. After a moment, the chime rings again. When I opened the front door, Sendai-san walked in, complaining.
ăIn case youâre wondering, I came here as soon as I could.ă
ăYouâre so late.ă
Even if I was not sure about meeting her, I want her to come as soon as I tell her to come.
ăIf I wanted to come any faster, Iâd have to fly in the sky.ă
ăIf you can fly, go ahead and fly.ă
ăIf Miyagi flies, Iâll be the next one to fly.ă
Sendai-san takes off her shoes in a tedious manner.
I exhale a small breath as I try to hand her the 5,000 yen.
This 5,000 yen is to buy Sendai-sanâs time.
I donât think itâs too much.
But I am wondering what will happen if I donât give it to her.
Even without this 5,000 yen, would Sendai-san still come to this house?
I have been wanting to ask her lately.
I have been asked by Sendai-san ifăwhat would happen if she didnât receive it.ăPerhaps I should have asked at the time what that meant. I would like to know what would have happened if I had accepted Sendai-sanâs words that day and not given her the 5,000 yen.
ăSendai-san.ă
I, for whom no consideration exists.
Imagining a little further than now, I wonder if I should give the five thousand yen in my hand. But I immediately put the 5,000 yen in front of Sendai-san.
ăHere.ă
As usual, the edge of the bill was pulled, and my fingers reflexively tightened. But I hastily removed my finger before she could say anything.
ăThanks.ă
Sendai-san puts away the 5,000 yen.
I donât think I am worth it if I donât give her 5,000 yen.
If I donât pay the price, I canât buy Sendai-sanâs time, and she doesnât take orders. If she wonât follow orders, it means she wonât have to come to this house.
ăIâll get us something to drink.ă
I turn my back to Sendai-san.
ăOkay, Iâll wait for it.ă
I hear the sound of a door slamming shut.
I walk down the hallway to the kitchen.
I prepare two glasses and open the refrigerator. Inside are two PET bottles that are running low and a new bottle of barley tea that I bought yesterday. I take out the cider and fresh barley tea and pour them into a glass. I put them on a tray and return to my room to find Sendai-san sitting in her usual spot.
ăMake dinner today.ă
I put my glass on the table and sit down next to Sendai-san.
ăIs that todayâs order?ă
What I want in exchange for 5,000 yen.
An unbreakable promise.
If I can buy such a thing, I can trust Sendai-san. Even if we go to different universities, as she says, we can have dinner together sometimes or go somewhere together.
But I canât say that, and there is no way I could give her an order that would bind her for the rest of her life for five thousand yen. And it is not an order I can utter, having tried to keep Sendai-san away.
ăYes. Make whatever you want.ă
I give an order worth 5,000 yen and look at Sendai-san.
ăAnything you say, isnât the fridge empty?ă
ăIt wasnât.ă
ăCan I look in the fridge first?ă
ăThatâs fine but, letâs go together.ă
When I replied, Sendai-san stood up with her reference book spread out on the table. I head for the kitchen with him.
I turn on the lights in the living room and kitchen, and Sendai-san opens the refrigerator. She stares inside, then turn around to check the freezer and vegetable compartment as well.
ăDo you like potatoes and carrots?ă
ăItâs normal. Why do you think so?ă
ăItâs always there, and I thought you liked it.ă
ăItâs not always there. I donât know what to buy, so I just buy it.ă
ăYou buy according to what you want to eat.ă
ăI donât know what I want to eat.ă
Iâve been eating that way for so long that even if I want something cooked, I donât know what I want it to be. I donât even know what I want to eat.
And since I had never been interested in cooking, I entered high school without knowing what I could buy and what I could cook.
ăWhy donât we go shopping together then? Itâs easier to decide on a dish and then go shopping for ingredients than to decide on a dish to make from the ingredients.ă
Not that I have a good idea, says Sendai-san in a cheerful voice.
The two of us go shopping together and come back with half the heavy baggage.
That is what I thought yesterday and did not expect Sendai-san to say the same thing.
Hearing her voice makes me feel that we may stand in the kitchen together like this after the graduation ceremony is over. But itâs an improbable future.
ăIf you insist so much, Sendai-san, go buy it for me. Iâll give you the money.ă
ăIs there no option to go together?ă
ăNone.ă
Being with Sendai-san makes going back to being alone seem scary. Strictly speaking, I am not alone when Sendai-san is gone. I have friends, and if I go to college, Iâm sure Iâll make friends there too. And yet I am leaning so badly toward Sendai-san that I feel as if I will be all alone once she is gone.
If I stand with Sendai-san as my support, I will not be able to stand alone when she is gone.
I donât want that to happen, so I have to do what I can do alone.
ăThen Miyagi will buy it for me, as you always done.ă
Sendai-san sighs deliberately and then heads for the living room. Then I sat down in a chair in front of the counter table, even though I was not eating.
ăIn general, wouldnât it be better to hire someone like a housekeeper to cook for you rather than paying me to cook for you?ă
Sendai-san, who began talking leisurely, seemed to have no intention of going back to her room, and I had no choice but to stand next to her.
ăI donât like having strangers in my house.ă
There was a period of time after my mother was gone when someone would come in and out of the house to prepare meals and clean. I donât know if that person was called a housekeeper, but I remember very well that I could not settle down when a stranger was in the house.
ăIâm a stranger, though.ă
ăSendai-san isââă
âSpecial,â I was about to say it, and stop.
This was not the appropriate word.
ăWhat am I?ă
Sendai-san chuckles.
ăYou were a stranger, but thatâs okay because we were in the same class.ă
ăDoes that mean it doesnât have to be me?ă
ăIt doesnât matter. More importantly, have you decided what youâre going to make?ă
As if to escape from Sendai-sanâs gaze, who seemed to want to say something, I changed the subject.
ăStill undecided.ă
ăHurry up and decide.ă
I donât care whatâs on the menu today.
If sheâs going to spend time on it anyway, she might as well spend it on her studies.
But Sendai-san seems to be more concerned about the dinner menu than her studies, and she is sitting next to me with a serious expression on her face, pondering.
ăIâm told to hurry, but Iâve made curry and stew many times. Mhmâ maybe some meat and potatoes? Ah, but we donât have onions.ă
In the words that Sendai-san mumbled to herself, she found something she wanted to eat.
ăYou can make nikujaga*?ă(TN : Japanese Meat and Potato Stew)
ăDo you want eat it?ă
ăIf you can make it.ă
ăI donât know how to make it and Iâll look into it. I donât have onions, so it might not taste as good.ă
ăMake it good, even without onions.ă
Lack of materials is not a concern.
But even if itâs missing, it better taste good in its own way.
ăIâll do the best I can, but I canât guarantee it.ă
Sendai-san got up and went back to the kitchen. Then, after checking the contents of the refrigerator and seasonings, she said she was going back to my room.