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I wanted to touch Miyagi.
But I did not expect to be touched by Miyagi.
So, I was frightened by the hand that was tightly attached to my neck, and my body stiffened.
「This is Sendai-san’s fault for waking me up.」
Saying it as an excuse, Miyagi crawls her hand up to my neck. The fingertips move down and reach the neck of the sweatshirt. But she stops hesitantly and doesn’t go in.
I grab Miyagi’s wrist.
But before she could pull it away, my fingertips pressed hard against it.
「Let go, Sendai-san.」
Miyagi says in the same tone as when she gives orders in this room after school.
I know what she wants to do.
I don’t know why she won’t tell me her purpose, but she must want to make sure I was wearing the pendant.
「What are you going to do when I let go of your hand?」
The pendant promises to show her when she asks to see it. Even today, when 5,000 yen has not intervened, I feel I have no choice but to show it to Miyagi when she tells me to.
「I don’t have to tell you.」
Miyagi replies casually.
「Then, I won’t let go.」
I have no objection to keeping my promise to show it to her when she asks me to show it to her, but I don’t want to be confirmed today without her permission.
「…My hand, let it go.」
I hear a voice almost pleading with me, and I relax my hand involuntarily.
Miyagi never asks me to do anything.
Still, the voice I heard now could be called a request.
「Well, fine.」
Now that we are on winter break, there is no need to listen to orders.
But I don’t think it’s something I have to refuse.
When I released her grasping wrist, her fingertips enter through the neck and touch the chain of the pendant. And without stroking it or letting her fingertips dive more deeply into it, Miyagi pulled out the pendant.
「I’m keeping my promise.」
After just a little bit of soft voice, the fingertips trace the chain and touch the moon-shaped ornament.
「Just in case.」
When she answered shortly, the pendant top is pulled off.
「…You’ve got promises to break.」
「And you have a promise to keep, so why not?」
「I’m keeping it all.」
「That’s uncertain.」
In such a situation, I think it is enough to say that I will keep everything, even if it is a lie.
But if I say I will keep everything, I don’t know what kind of promises she will make me. Miyagi sometimes does and says things that are out of the ordinary. If forced to do something unreasonable, I am not confident that she will keep her word. I can’t make irresponsible promises about everything when I have several promises I can’t keep even now.
「I don’t like that part of Sendai-san.」
I hear an overtly low voice and her hand leaves the pendant.
「I know.」
「And the part where you say that.」
Her voice turns even more gruff and I reflexively grabs Miyagi’s arm.
The distance between me and Miyagi has not changed.
But I feel Miyagi has moved away.
Something different from the usual.
I feel something different, but I don’t know what it is.
But I know that I have failed.
I should have said that even if I wasn’t sure, I would keep all my promises.
I should have said it, even if I didn’t know what it meant.
「I’m going to sleep.」
As she says this, Miyagi tries to stand up with her arm still in my grasp. When I put some effort into my hand, Miyagi said in an accusatory tone,「Ouch.」
「Stay up a little longer.」
If I go to sleep like this, I feel Miyagi will go farther away.
「I don’t want to.」
With short words, Miyagi forcefully tries to remove my hand.
Her nails dig into the back of my hand, digging in so deep that I wonder if he intends to rip the skin. The sharp pain makes me pull hard on Miyagi’s arm. I didn’t mean to be rough, but I couldn’t adjust well, and Miyagi, who had lost her balance, grabbed my shoulder.
「That’s dangerous.」
I locked Miyagi, who says angrily, in her arms.
I put my lips to hers, taking advantage of the physically closer distance.
Miyagi doesn’t move, even when our exhaled breaths are in the mixing distance.
So, without hesitation, I put my lips on top of hers.
I don’t know how many times I’ve been kissed before, but my heart is surprised. I think I hear a thud.
When I press my lips hard against hers, I can feel the softness so vividly that even with my eyes closed, I can make out the outline of her lips from where they touch each other. But soon, she pushed on the shoulder and her lips, softer than the black cat’s, are far away.
「Sendai-san, you said you wouldn’t do anything strange.」
Miyagi blurts out and escapes from my arms.
「I taught you a lesson earlier, and a kiss is not weird. It’s a promise, an exercise of a right.」
Kissing is part of the promise made before winter break.
Today, I was going to give priority to my promise to Miyagi not “to do anything strange,” and I was not planning to exercise that right, but Miyagi did not run away either. Then I’d be happy to do it again.
I reach out and touch Miyagi’s lips next to mine.
But before I can kiss her, she grabs my hand and pushes me down.
My back did not hurt because of the futon, but it is not a good thing if it does not hurt.
「The fact that you just did that means it’s okay to do it.」
Miyagi’s voice comes down.
She may do it.
I could imagine what it was referring to.
But that was the “strange thing” Miyagi was talking about, and as I was wondering whether I should accept the situation, she grabbed me by the hem of my jacket.
「Miyagi, I didn’t say it was fine.」
「Then say its fine.」
I heard a voice that sounded so bad-tempered that I couldn’t believe I was about to do something “strange.” I don’t expect sweet words from Miyagi, but there is too much thorn in her voice.
「I won’t say it.」
To begin with, I promised not to do that today.
I slap my hand on the hem of her sweatshirt and tell her to「let go.」But then a hand enters my clothes and strokes my side.
「Hold on, Miyagi.」
「It’s Sendai-san’s fault for breaking her promise. You told me you wouldn’t do anything weird.」
「I thought we agreed to kiss.」
Miyagi insists on the rights she earned before the winter break, but she won’t stop.
Her fingertips move slowly up my sides.
「But it wasn’t the right time to kiss. You should have done it when we were done studying.」
「The timing was not specified.」
Miyagi’s hand stops.
Then she stares at me so intently that I can clearly feel her gaze even in the dim light.
「——I knew I couldn’t trust Sendai-san.」
Miyagi says in a small voice and rolls up my sweatshirt to just below my chest.
It’s no big deal that she can see my belly.
It was too dark to see much, and Miyagi had seen me several times. However, a stomach that has nothing left to protect feels very unreliable.
Miyagi puts her hand on the side of my navel.
From the heat coming through, I can tell that all the palms of her hands are pressed against it. Slowly the heat moves to the bottom of the ribs.
The hand, pressed too hard, moves as if lost. It tickles more than it feels good. But not enough to make me want to run out from under Miyagi, and I wouldn’t mind sticking around a little longer. But her hands keep hesitating to move on.
I know where Miyagi’s hand is aiming, so if it’s true, I should grab her hand and peel it off right now.
I promise I won’t do that today.
「Miyagi.」
Instead of grabbing my hand, I called her name, and the heat that had been radiating over my skin disappeared. But soon the warmth flowed into my body and stroked up to the bottom of my chest.
「I’m trying to.」
Miyagi says as if talking to herself.
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Although the subject was omitted, I knew immediately that it was about my underwear.
「You do. This is not my house.」
「…Can I take this off?」
Miyagi said to test me and put her hand on my chest. Then she moved it just a little bit to check the shape.
Even though there is cloth in between, the heat and feel of Miyagi’s hands can still be felt.
It is not pleasant, but my breath leaks out.
Her fingertips touch the strap and stop.
She doesn’t intend to remove my bra until she is allowed to do so, but her body stiffens.
The person who told me not to do anything strange was not supposed to do anything strange.
I will give the answer, Miyagi is waiting.
I reached out and touched Miyagi’s cheek.
Stroke her chin with my fingertips and pick her earlobe.
Miyagi exhales ticklingly.
「Sendai-san.」
Miyagi calls me, as if urging me to answer.
I want to be touched and I want to touch Miyagi in the same way.
In my mind,『good』and『not good』are mixed up.
「——If Miyagi is prepared to do that, go ahead.」
It was Miyagi, not me, who is doing something strange, but perhaps this counts as one of the broken promises.
Thinking about that, I don’t think I should continue like this.
I am sure that every time it is counted, the scale of the score gauge will increase, and when the limit is reached, Miyagi will go away. But I can’t see that score gauge from me. I don’t know how many more promises I can break, so I have to force Miyagi to make a choice.
「What do you mean by “prepared?”」
「You know I am not rational.」
I put my hand through the hem of her sweatshirt and pat her side, just like Miyagi did.
「…What does that mean?」
「You know what I’m talking about, there.」
No reply was received from Miyagi.
「I don’t mind telling you what I mean, but is that okay with Miyagi?」
I ask, thinking it’s not fair.
She slid her hand up and strokes it along the spine.
Miyagi moves her hand off my chest and raises herself up, as if surprised.
Miyagi is far more rational than I am. She can swim out toward the shore before I drown in desire and she rescues me.
「We’re done.」
Miyagi says as she sits next to me and adjusts her nearly disheveled clothes.
「I think it’s better that way.」
I also sit up and adjust my disordered clothes.
If we had continued like this, I might have been kicked out of this house in the middle of the night. Miyagi would have done that much better, so this should have been a good thing.
But I also don’t want to send Miyagi back to bed just yet.
I take hold of the hand next to mine.
「Miyagi.」
I called out in a small voice, and Miyagi looked at me.
We put our faces close together and our lips meet.
I was not tapped on the shoulder or clawed.
I slowly move my face away from her, knowing that she doesn’t mind.
「This kiss is one of the things I promised Miyagi, but do you still tell me not to do anything weird?」
Miyagi says nothing.
She untangles our joined hands and touches the pendant, which is still pulled out.
「I’ll exercise a few more of my rights. Don’t get mad at me.」
Just in case.
Just to make sure.
After not refusing, I kissed Miyagi again.