The act of crying over wrongdoing seems a bit unfair.
If you are definitely at fault, tears become a cowardly tool.
<āThe perpetrator is also suffering so much. So please lighten the load.ā>
What a thing to say.
If you have done something wrong, the thing to do is not to cry.
All you have to do is to apologize sincerely.
But I was crying cowardly.
I couldnāt stand Shihoās kindness when I realized that I couldnāt stand it.
āEh? Ah, ja? Ko-Kotaro-kun,ā¦ are you crying? Iām not going to let you cry like that. Iām going to cry too. Itās all right, itās all right now, okay? Iām right next to you, okay?ā
I guess she didnāt expect me to cry.
Shiho came close to me and rubbed my back soothingly.
āNoā¦ this is, you knowā¦ā
In a panic, I wiped away my tears.
I try desperately to pretend Iām not crying, because I didnāt mean to.
But the tears just wouldnāt stop. No matter how many times I wiped them away, they kept flowing out one after another.
āIf you rub so hard, youāll get red and swollen ā¦Iāll wipe it with my handkerchief, okay? Donāt take away my expertise, Iām the one who has to cry.ā
Jokingly, she wiped my tears with the handkerchief she had taken out.
A gentle hand, like stroking.
It was like a puppy being groomed by its parent dog, and it was somewhat embarrassing.
I was definitely being treated like a child.
But I canāt complain about that. Iām sure anyone would have reacted this way if I had suddenly started crying.
āDo you feel any pain? Is there something wrong with you? Or did I say something bad? Can you tell me why you are crying? Iāll make it go away, okay?ā
āNo.
Itās not Shihoās fault, itās not that something hurts, itās not that Iām not feeling well.
These tears did not flow out due to suffering.
āItās because Shiho is ā¦ kind.ā
Because of that, the tears overflowed.
This girlās kindness was so warm that I lost my strength, or rather, the emotional strings that had bound me so tightly were loosened.
āI didnāt expect you to forgive me.ā
I thought I had hurt her.
I thought I would make Shiho feel bad because of me.
Because this girl loves me with all her heart.
She would be jealous, she would be sulking, she would be angry ā thatās what I assumed.
But she didnāt seem to have any of those feelings.
āItās not surprising, you know. I donāt think Kotaro-kun would do something to hurt me on his own. Usually, Iām a little jealous of him. But thatās only half in fun,ā¦ and I mean Iām not very smart,ā¦ but Iām not so stupid that I canāt understand how you feel.ā
Itās at times like thisā¦ that I feel strongly.
Shiho really is a pure girl.
She is so clear.
Her skin color is the same as the color of her hair, so clear and beautiful.
Therefore, she can believe in me.
I donāt doubt it one bit, so even though Iām in a situation like now, I still donāt feel a shred of bad about it.
āThere is no way that Kotaro-kun would fall in love with anyone but me.ā
And her words are full of confidence.
Shiho doesnāt do the pathetic thing that I do, which is to be humble and self-deprecating.
ātās a given that Iām the one you love ā¦ā¦ as you are the one I loveā¦ It doesnāt matter what you do with other girls. I love you, Kotaro-kun, and I know that you love me.ā
For the charge of repentance, Shiho, with a merciful and kind heart, offered forgiveness.
That did not make my sin any lighter.
But it was true that my ā¦ heart became easier to bear.
Shiho is still a benefactor to me.
Whenever Iām going through a hard time or suffering, she always comes to my rescue.