When he said this, Wang Chao had thought to himself, “What you trying to show off? Who doesn’t have a boyfriend or what?” Yet, once the words fell, he suddenly became super embarrassed and turned around to face the piano, reluctant to make any eye contact with Liang Xi.
Liang Xi was older than him by a couple of years and had more or less watched him grow up. He understood his personality too well. Seeing him this embarrassed, he gauged that his feelings were probably genuine. Shocked, he couldn’t form a sentence until a while later: “Look at you. Even a rabbit won't eat the grass around its burrows, how could you have done that?”
If it were anyone else, they would instantly hop off their stool and claim that they were the eaten grass, yet Wang Chao was different. He didn’t see any difference between being the grass or the rabbit, as he and Xiao Xie had done the deed regardless.
He murmured his reply: “I only wanted to be friends with him, it’s him who insisted on being in a relationship with me.”
Liang Xi said: “I won’t scold you any further, since you are, well, you. Doesn’t he have a girlfriend? When you guys hung out at my place last time, I even met that girl.”
Wang Chao said: “They’ve long broken up before he and I got together. That woman isn’t a good person; she even fooled around behind his back when they were together.”
Liang Xi was speechless: “Weren’t you caught and sent home by your eldest brother because you visited a prostitute?”
Wang Chao protested immediately: “I didn’t visit a prostitute! How could I have known that he was a prostitute! It wasn’t written on his face after all!”
Liang Xi said: “Regardless of whether he was a prostitute or not, aren’t you also fooling around behind his back when you’re together? What’s the difference between you and his ex-girlfriend?”
Seems that it was he who had been in the wrong.
He paused for a while. Reluctant to admit defeat, however, he forced himself to squeeze out some nonsensical defense: “Well, I didn’t want to be in a relationship with him. He had to complicate our relationship. Being friends with him were amazing; why does our relationship have to be romantic? This is so annoying.”
Liang Xi asked: “Then have you two slept together?”
Wang Chao held no stigma toward these types of things, and admitted directly: “We did.”
Liang Xi looked at him as if he was retarded, and said: “You’ve already slept together, and you’re blaming him for complicating this relationship? Do you take everyone to be the same as you, treating such thing with the same normalcy as eating three meals a day?”
Wang Chao defended himself: “Then I am that type of person. I’ve been this way for as long as he has known me. Since he had known, why did he insist on being in a relationship with me?”
Liang Xi didn’t quite believe him, and replied: “Yeah right, from my perspective it seems to be you who’s insisting on being around him, else an upright youth like him would never be into you unless he were blind.”
Wang Chao was not pleased by his words, and complained: “What’s wrong with me? I have a handsome face and loads of money, what part of me is not good enough for him?”
Liang Xi answered: “Isn’t Xiao Xie more good-looking than you? Besides, what money does a spendthrift such as you have?”
Wang Chao does admit that Xiao Xie was very good-looking. Yet, he couldn’t help himself but mock the other man: “According to your explanation then, Bai Tu is so handsome, and you, take a look at yourself in the mirror.”
Liang Xi boasted with pride: “Well, he specifically likes the fact that I’m ugly.”
Wang Chao retorted: “Then Xiao Xie specifically likes the fact that I’m a spendthrift!”
Liang Xi found it amusing: “Then what do you like about him?”
Wang Chao responded without thinking: “I like the fact that he’s a kind person!”
Liang Xi hooted at him suggestively: “Ohhhhhh –”
Wang Chao: “…Wait, who likes him?”
Liang Xi sighed: “My silly brother, you said that yourself, how would I know?”
Wang Chao: “…” What happened? He apparently likes Xiao Xie now?
He was stunned for a bit. Once he recovered, he asked Liang Xi: “What is “like”?”
Liang Xi answered: “I don’t know about you, but I like Bai Tu. I want to spend every day with him, and whatever he wants, I would give it to him, as long as I have it.”
Wang Chao thought, he also wanted to be with Xiao Xie every day. Xiao Xie never said what he wanted in particular, except for a pair of shoes, which he had already given him. If Xiao Xie wanted anything else, he was willing to give that to him too. If he couldn’t afford it, then he would borrow money from Wang Qi or his brother to buy it.
…wow, he really, really likes Xiao Xie then.
Liang Xi didn’t stay for long before he said that he needed to go back home to be with his partner.
Wang Chao warned him: “Hey, don’t go and tell my brother.”
Liang Xi asked as if he had no idea what he referred to: “Tell what?”
Wang Chao squirmed around and said: “About Xiao Xie and I. If my brother got wind of it, then I would never be able to return to our group.”
Liang Xi agreed, and continued to ask: “Do you need me to return Xiao Xie’s call and tell him about your situation?”
Wang Chao struggled for a while before saying: “Just tell him that I will be back in a few days.”
Liang Xi had already reached the door when Wang Chao called on him again: “Ge…Please, please do not tell him about the whole thing with the prostitute. I didn’t visit one, and didn’t know that he was a prostitute.”
Liang Xi taunted him on purpose: “Don’t you not want to be in a relationship with him? If he hears that attempted to visit a prostitute, he’d be disgusted, and it’d be the perfect opportunity for you to break up.”
Wang Chao’s swollen face wrinkled after hearing his words: “Who said that I want to break up? If you feed him nonsense, I won’t forgive you.”
Liang Xi left snickering.
Wang Chao slumped back onto his stool, his emotions complicated.
Turns out, after all this time, he has feelings for Xiao Xie.
When he thought about it this way, everything became clear to him.
Such as why he would be angry whenever he spotted Xiao Xie and Taotao near each other. Who had invented the phrase ? It’s so accurate, that feeling was really, really sour.
Such as why he wouldn’t even drink a goddess’ saliva, but when he french kissed Xiao Xie, not only did it not feel disgusting at all, but it felt incredibly amazing.
Such as why he was not too angry when Xiao Xie fucked him once, twice, and multiple times; he even hoped that Xiao Xie could keep on fucking him in the future.
Xiao Xie had asked him, while they were under the kapok tree by the Pearl River, why did he suddenly kiss him?
He had answered at the time: because he was in a good mood.
He now suddenly understood: that “good mood” was perhaps the affections he held toward Xiao Xie. Those tender affections had filled his heart to the brim and were about to spill out, which was why he had such a sudden urge to kiss Xiao Xie on the lips.
He’s twenty-two. Before today, he had never thought that he’d fall in love with someone in his life.
This is really quite exciting.
He placed one hand on the piano, and with his mind blank, his fingers swept across the keyboard and played a string of notes intuitively.
Do, Do, Sol, Sol, La, La So. Fa, Fa, Mi, Mi, Re, Re, Do.
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Xie Zhuxing is in my heart.
Afternoon, Wang Qi came back and scanned around the house. He discovered Wang Chao practicing the piano upstairs. Even though he couldn’t play himself, after watching Wang Chao practice for so many years, he had memorized this melody by now: Chopin’s Grande Valse Brillante.
Perplexed, he unlocked the door and went inside. Wang Chao was practicing so seriously that he didn’t hear the other man come in.
He watched him for a while and left silently afterward. He asked Wang Jin: “What traumatized him?”
Wang Jin answered: “I don’t know. He had been practicing the piano for a whole day. When I went up at noon, he didn’t protest either. Did you beat him up so hard that he became retarded?”
Wang Qi said: “Nonsense.”
Wang Jin continued: “He has been quite obedient recently. That thing with the lil prostitute, it was probably a misunderstanding.”
Wang Qi was furious: “What kind of misunderstanding was there that he was in a hotel room with a man?”
Wang Jin cast him a side long glance: “Da Ge, I haven’t even asked you. What ‘business’ did you have that you had gone to the hotel during the middle of the night?”
Wang Jin continued: “You know, for him, being an idol is a decent option. If you don’t let him, what else do you want him to do in the future?”
Wang Qi replied: “I’m planning to send him to study abroad.”
Wang Jin put on a shocked expression and said: “You can’t even make him behave when he’s right under your eyes, and you want to send him abroad. It won’t even take half a year before he becomes a good-for-nothing.”
Wang Qi frowned. He also understood Wang Chao’s personality – without someone watching, no way he will send him abroad.
Wang Jin took advantage of his hesitation and said: “This is the first time ever since he was born that he had done something serious, and he got some achievements too. If you ruin it for him, chances are that he will resent you his entire life.”
Wang Qi glared and said: “He dares.”
Wang Jin said: “Then how about you try it.”
Wang Qi is not willing to try.
He had grown up being beaten by his father, and Wang Jin had not avoided much beating either. This was his family’s approach to discipline. Even his seventy-year-old grandfather had used his cane to beat up his father the morning of his death from a fatal brain hemorrhage.
Being disciplined as such, both he and Wang Jin were able to get into prestigious universities. When he had chosen the conventional path and gotten married, Wang Jin came out of the closet. Even though the latter’s relationship didn’t come to fruition, that type of rebellion truly shocked him as an older brother. Isn’t twenty-four or twenty-five quite old for one’s rebellious period to arrive? Yet, his rebellious period suddenly arrived too this year, as a thirty-five-year-old. He had quit his job, divorced his wife, and got together with the one person he should never, ever be with. When he had come home to Harbin to confess to his family, with no surprise, his father had beaten him up brutally.
Wang Chao was the most different child among the three. Ever since he was born he was in had a rebellious period. He would stir up mess after mess if they had taken a break from beating him for even one day. Whatever you told him not to do, he would end up doing exactly that. What other method do you have? Beat him up then. Yet, once the beating started, it never ended. He’s twenty-two now, and his rebellious period still wasn’t over.
Beating him up was one thing, but Wang Qi really did love his younger brother. Otherwise, Wang Chao wouldn’t have been spoiled as such, able to live within his own world with peace and happiness. Not many people in the world could have such a fortune.
Wang Chao’s diligent practice reaped its reward after a couple of days.
Wang Qi gave his phone back to him.
“Don’t only think about playing games,” Wang Qi said, “Give Xiao Duan a call, tell him that you’re feling much better now.”
Wang Chao nearly burst into tears. “Then can I still go to Shanghai?” He asked.
Wang Qi answered: “Depends on your behavior.”
Then, he left. Wang Chao raised the phone up and smooched the screen twice, so excited that he wanted to twirl around in his room.
I’ll give Xiao Xie a call!
Wang Chao was torn for a while and ended up not giving Xie Zhuxing a call as he could not let go of his shame. The last time they had seen each other was when he arrogantly left the bar with that little prostitute, and he even boasted that he was going to hook up with someone.
He decided to take the roundabout approach and call Cheng Yao instead.
Cheng Yao was screaming on the other end: “AHHHHHHHHHH—— Captain!!!!!”
Wang Chao: “…Stop screaming, stop screaming, my eardrum is about to burst!”
Cheng Yao could not contain his excitement – Captain where are you are you really not going to Shanghai are you really going to quit the group your fans have all gone crazy and dissing the company online and some even said that they wanted to return their tickets – he rambled paragraphs after paragraphs.
Wang Chao was in no mood to chat with him, and asked: “Are you at the company? Is he there? Tell him to come over, I want to talk to him for a bit.”
Wang Chao was actually a bit embarrassed to say that name out loud.
Cheng Yao instantly understood: “Xiao Xie Ge? He’s dancing together with Taotao in the practice room.”
Wang Chao said: “Who? You said who’s with him?”
Cheng Yao said: “Our shimei group will be the guest at our Shanghai fan meet. Kun Ge told taotao and Xiao Xie Ge to perform a dance together, so those two have been practicing together the entire time during these past few days.”
Wang Chao was furious: “Is Kun Ge out of his mind! What’s the point of inviting them to perform at our fan meet? And dancing together?”
Cheng Yao replied: “It wasn’t Kun Ge’s idea. I heard that Xiao Xie Ge proposed that himself.”
Wang Chao was even more infuriated: “Is he nuts?”
Cheng Yao said: “I heard from Siyuan Ge that Taotao confessed her feelings for Xiao Xie Ge. As the old saying goes, only a layer of gauze prevented girls from successfully pursuing boys, those two are probably in a relationship now. It’s normal for Xiao Xie Ge to want to bring his girlfriend to performances. Captain, are you coming back or not?”
Wang Chao shouted angrily: “I’m not coming back! I won’t never, ever come back!”
He hung up the phone and kicked the wooden piano stool with so much force that he stubbed his toe. He screamed and hopped on his other leg for more than ten seconds before he peeled his sock off his injured foot: his big toe was as red and swollen as a baby carrot.
He waited until the sky had turned dark. Wang Qi had not returned home, and Wang Jin had retreated to his own room.
Wang Chao carefully pushed the window open. Standing on the windowsill, he hugged the frame with both of his arms and expended all his might to climb to the windowsill of the adjacent room. He almost fell down during the process, which scared him so much that his back broke into a cold sweat. Fortunately, the window of the adjacent room was locked shut, so he was able to enter smoothly. He tiptoed downstairs, and afraid that Wang Jin would hear his movements, he didn’t even dare to leave through the front door. Instead, he climbed over the wall and even tripped over himself in the bush during the process. Even though he got dirt all over his body, however, he didn’t care to loudly cuss; he only did so quietly before he ran away in a hurry.
Xie Zhuxing was sitting by the front of his bed, wearing a pair of headphones, and watching dance videos.
He had already heard from Liang Xi about Wang Chao’s whole confinement situation. Liang Xi said it was because “the internet exposed his past hookups, his brother got angry and decided to discipline him.” Yet, Xie Zhuxing knew that it was most probably for something else. Wang Chao got beaten quite frequently for hooking up in the past, it isn’t plausible that his brother would bring those old scores up again simply because of the leaks on the internet.
Liang Xi didn’t say it, so he didn’t ask further. He only said thanks to the other man.
Liang Xi was about to speak but stopped himself. Ultimately, he opened his mouth again: “Xiao Xie, this really has been tough on you.”
He didn’t realize it at first. Only after he had hung up that he suddenly realized – what nonsense did that little idiot feed Liang Xi with?
This person should be confined for as long as possible. Then he won’t come out and make another mess in people’s lives again.
It’s good that he quit the group. Once they’ve separated, they won’t see each other anymore. Then, everything will gradually fade away, and eventually, be fine again.
Someone patted him on his shoulder.
He raised his head in surprise: a person wearing a purple hoodie was standing in front of him. The person had the hood on and the hoodie zipped to the highest point – only a pair of eyes were visible.
And that pair of eyes was enough for him to recognize who that person was.
Zhao Zhengyi stood by the door and attempted to poke his head in on multiple occasions. He was probably feeling a bit uneasy about letting the person in.
Xie Zhuxing sat upright, took his headphones off, and said to him: “Go do your work, nothing’s wrong here.”
Zhao Zhengyi was about to leave.
Wang Chao commanded after him: “Zhao Zhengyi! Close the door!”
Zhao Zhengyi hastily closed the door for them.
Between the two of them, one sat on the bed, and one stood beside it.
Xie Zhuxing asked: “Why did you come?”
Wang Chao sniffled hard through his collar.
Xie Zhuxing frowned: “Isn’t it cold outside? Why are you only wearing this little?”
Wang Chao replied: “None of your business!”
Xie Zhuxing leaned back against the bed again and calmly said: “I won’t mind your business. We have nothing to do with each other anymore. What did you want from me?”
Wang Chao sniffled again.
Xie Zhuxing raised his eyes and looked at him. “If you wanted to hook up, go find someone else. I don’t want to.”
He wanted to end their relationship peacefully.
Wang Chao, however, was not cooperative at all. Instead, he snapped as if the other man’s words had ignited his short fuse: “Just because you said you don’t want to, we won’t? Why’s everything always up to you? Just because you said we’re done, we’re done? Have you asked me?
Xie Zhuxing said: “Keep your voice down.”
Wang Chao did not listen to him, and interrogated him even louder: “Are you dating Taotao?”
Xie Zhuxing himself had heard of this rumor spreading around the company, and didn’t want to defend himself. “So what?” He replied.
Wang Chao stopped speaking, his eyes staring at Xie Zhuxing’s face.
Xie Zhuxing averted his eyes and said: “Hurry up and go home, it will get even colder once the night falls.”
Xie Zhuxing clenched his fingers. He wants to get out of this by acting shamelessly again? Can’t he change to another method?
Wang Chao sulked toward the bedside and sat down as if he was a frost-stricken eggplant. He no longer yelled when he opened his mouth again. “Xiao Xie, would you please break up with her?” He asked wearily.
Wang Chao still only had his eyes visible through the hoodie. Xie Zhuxing did not expect him to appear as if he was on the verge of tears when he mumbled again: “I didn’t even agree to the break up when you began to date someone else, how could you be even more scummy than me.”
Xie Zhuxing: “…What happened to your face?”
Wang Chao pulled the zipper down and revealed his badly beaten face: “My eldest brother beat me up. He caught me visiting a male prostitute.”
Xie Zhuxing clenched his teeth, and said: “And you said I’m more scummy than you? Captain, please have a sense of shame.”
Yet, Wang Chao replied: “I don’t want a sense of shame.”
Xie Zhuxing: “…Good for you then.”
Wang Chao called him: “Xie Zhuxing.”
Xie Zhuxing was mentally exhausted. “Stop speaking, I don’t want to hear it.” He said.
Bouts of tears streaked down Wang Chao’s stiff, swollen face. It really wasn’t a pleasant sight.
Wang Chao sobbed intermittently as he said: “If you don’t want to listen, then that’s fine, I will talk to myself instead.”
Xie Zhuxing thought to himself: maybe he should give him a beating to vent his own anger.
Wang Chao continued: “I dare you to put on your headphones and don’t listen to me speak!”
Xie Zhuxing really did put his headphones on.
Wang Chao instantly cried even more miserably. He wiped his tears with his sleeves. He didn’t know that there was mud on his sleeves when he did it, and it smeared all over his face. With an ugly and swollen face, he cried as he cursed: “Do you motherfucker have any sense of shame? You really did put on your headphones when I told you too. Your daddy here abandoned all his shame and came here to confess to you, but you motherfucker don’t even want to listen. Fuck you! If you don’t want to listen, I don’t even want to say it. Why couldn’t it be anyone else? I had to fall in love with you, the biggest idiot in the world.”
Xie Zhuxing: “…You’re the biggest idiot in the world.”
Wang Chao looked down. The video on Xie Zhuxing’s phone was still paused. There was no sound at all in his headphones.
He stopped crying, and he stopped cursing. He stood up and wanted to run away.
Xie Zhuxing grabbed him immediately and said: “Why are you running?”
Wang Chao’s face was flushed crimson. “Let go of me!” He said.
Xie Zhuxing continued: “I heard what you said.”
Wang Chao: “…I didn’t say anything.”
Xie Zhuxing pressed on aggressively: “You said that you’ve fallen in love with me.”
Wang Chao felt super embarrassed and would not admit to it: “Only a idiot would fall in love with you!”
Xie Zhuxing cussed at himself internally and got over himself. Why does he still care about his shame when it’s at such a critical moment? Shame would never matter as much as Xiao Xie to him.
He pointed at himself, and said depressingly: “I am an idiot, I fell in love with you.”