Ch30 - Restrain

Editor: Ghost

He was scared that Xiao Xie would get mad at him, so he quickly dispelled the thought.

However, once these types of thoughts enter, they become hard to ignore.

During the performance, his position was behind Xiao Xie’s side. Xie Zhuxing’s outfit was short, causing his waist to be exposed when he raised his arm. As he moved his arm and kicked his leg without much effort, Wang Chao couldn’t help but let his eyes wander over to Xiao Xie’s exposed waist. During the chorus of the performance, Xiao Xie had a dance solo. Whenever Wang Chao watched him dance before, he would think  Xie Zhuxing was only handsome and good-looking, but now, weird imagery and scenarios would pop up in his head.

After the performance was over, Wang Chao came back to reality as Xiao Xie walked over. Xiao Xi was the type of handsome that was upright and prince-like. Even though he had to put on makeup for the performance, he didn’t look effeminate at all. The heros in those swordsman novels probably looked like him. The dirty images in his head didn’t match Xiao Xie’s princely face.

But Wang Chao couldn’t resist looking at him; and when he looked, he couldn’t resist thinking about those things.

He thought that if he secretly thought about it in his mind, no one would find out.

But the problem was, how would he be able to hide it? He was someone who showed all of his emotions and thoughts on his face.

That day when his fever went away, Xie Zhuxing came back with breakfast after he went out for his morning run. Xie Zhuxing had already noticed something was up when he realized that Wang Chao (whose hair was a mess and there was still crust stuck in the corner of his eye) was looking at his collarbone weirdly as he drank his soymilk.

When they went to the company, Wang Chao leaned on Xie Zhuxing when he sat down as usual. He was just as clingy as before. But even if he was clingy, his eyes should still be normal. His eyes shouldn’t be looking straight into Xie Zhuxing’s collar and he shouldn’t be swallowing hard after looking.

During the next two days, this type of situation escalated. Wang Chao’s eyes would wander from Xie Zhuxing’s collarbones to his chest, then to his waist, then finally to his hips and thighs. He would look at him up and down, thinking that no one would notice him, and so his eyes became more and more explicit.

That day, there was a meeting at the company. They had debuted for about a month now and Summer Ice wasn’t doing well but it wasn’t doing bad either. If this keeps on going on, even the students coming back after exam season wouldn’t be able to help their popularity.

“It’s great that you guys were able to climb to the top three for your first time,” Duan Yikun comforted them. “It’s hard for male idol group songs to be extremely popular. Plus, you guys just so happened to release your songs at the same time as the comebacks of the senior idols. You guys are already doing great.”

The six of them hesitantly nodded their heads, but it was still evident  they were dismayed. They didn’t have a clear distinction of the importance of being on the billboard, but they did know from the discussion on Weibo that their songs weren’t popular. Additionally, their debut period had passed and the number of fans had also stopped rising significantly. Other than Xie Zhuxing’s message with thousands of shares and comments, the other member’s post only had a few hundred at most. The hot comments were also mostly advertisements. The one who had it the worst was Gao Siyuan, who was ridiculed for his incident when he was a trainee in South Korea. All the comments were attacking him. Finally, he was forced to turn off the comments.

Duan Yikun saw they were in a gloomy mood, so he decided to give them some good news. “Don’t be so dejected – liven up. After you guys finish shooting the MV tomorrow, you’ll be going to Chang Sha the day after. It’s about time you guys enter the variety show circle.”

He had prepared for IceDream to go and record an indoor variety show that was well known to all age groups within the country. This show was a pretty good one for someone who was looking to make a variety show debut.

As expected, this news made the members excited. Although the variety show had been criticized repeatedly, it’s reputation and ratings over the years could not be compared to those of ordinary variety shows. To youngsters with a dream of becoming a star, who hadn’t watched this show before? Who hadn’t dreamed of standing on the stage of this show before?

After the meeting was over, the members were chatting amongst themselves as they walked out. Their excitement was evident on their faces.

Wang Chao grabbed onto Xie Zhuxing’s shoulder, pulling him back a few steps as he said in a low voice, “It’s still early. Let’s go to Liang-ge’s house.”

Xie Zhuxing thought that he wanted to go fool around again. “No, I want to practice dancing for a bit.”

“You can dance any other time. Plus you’re already so good at it. No need to practice,” Wang Chao said.

His hand that was placed on Xie Zhuxing’s shoulder was not very well-behaved. He touched Xie Zhuxing’s neck, then squeezed his shoulder.

Xie Zhuxing pretended he couldn’t feel it. “I don’t share any common interests with Liang-ge. Even if I go, I’ll just be sitting there.”

Wang Chao leaned on his shoulder as he turned, his back facing the members. He spoke as he walked quietly. “Are you dumb? Who said we were gonna go there to fool around? Liang-ge may be bad at everything else, but he’s especially good at doing variety shows. I’m gonna bring you over to his place to get some advice. Maybe we might even learn something useless, you know?”

Xie Zhuxing, “…Alright.”

Wang Chao grinned, and so did Xie Zhuxing.

Seeing his smile, Wang Chao’s heart pumped like a cantering horse. How can Xiao Xie be so attractive? Fuck!

The cleaning lady was mopping in front of him, but because he was walking backwards he couldn’t see. Xie Zhuxing was about to pull him back, but he was too late. Wang Chao tripped over the mop. Actually, it was no big deal. He could’ve just stood straight after wobbling for a bit; but instead, he pretended to be hurt as he let out a wince. He held onto Xiao Xie’s waist, and when his plan succeeded, he immediately let go. He even complained towards the cleaner, “Hey young lady, can you pay attention to where you’re going?!”

The cleaning lady stood up straight, revealing her raven black hair. Judging from her face, she was probably already in her forties or fifties.

Wang Chao, “…Auntie, I’m sorry. It was me who wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”

Xie Zhuxing held in his laugh as they continued to walk.

The cleaning lady didn’t bother to argue with Wang Chao. Wang Chao dusted himself off then caught up with Xie Zhuxing. He was extremely dismayed. He was finally able to get a touch of Xiao Xie’s waist, but he didn’t get the chance to properly savor it. His moment was cut short and passed on.

The two of them bared their teammates farewell. They didn’t say  they were going to Liang Xi’s house, they just said that they were going out to have fun. The teammates didn’t think much of it as the two were practically stuck to each other all day long anyways.

Because the Ferrari was too eye-catching, Wang Chao hadn’t been driving it often ever since Duan Yikun talked to him about it twice. The Porsche that he used to drive was also given to Liang Xi for a while. And so, Wang Chao had been driving a blue Volkswagen recently.

He told Xie Zhuxing to drive as he sat in the passenger’s seat. “Liang-ge’s hand got injured. When we get there, just be polite. Don’t ask him how he got the injury,” Wang Chao said.

Xie Zhuxing wasn’t too curious about the details anyway. He agreed, “Alright.”

He drove as Wang Chao sat next to him, sneaking peeks at him. When he felt it, he would turn his head, only for Wang Chao to hurriedly pretend like he was looking forwards as he started to hum some obscure tunes.

When they got to Liang Xi’s house, his hand was bandaged. There were two chow chows in his house, one female and one male. Xie Zhuxing had seen the male one last time when Baitu was holding his collar.

Xie Zhuxing already knew what to do, he just didn’t say it. He asked Liang Xi how his injury was healing, then didn’t say anymore. He sat there quietly as he listened to Liang Xi and Wang Chao speak.

“Ge, I’m about to go on a variety show,” Wang Chao said as he nibbled on some grapes. “You have a lot of experience. Give us some advice on how we could attract some fans.”

Liang Xi didn’t seem to be in a good mood as he said perfunctory, “Don’t have experience. My mom and dad gave me my looks. That’s all I have.”

Wang Chao wasn’t satisfied with his answer as he said, “Ge, be professional. I bought Xiao Xie here for a lesson.”

Liang Xi reached out his hand as he said, “My classes aren’t cheap. Hand the fees over.”

Wang Chao, “You’re the one that’s driving my car. I’ll lower the renting price.”

Liang Xi, “And you’re the one eating my grapes. It’s a thousand and five hundred for each. How many did you eat already?”

Xie Zhuxing had just picked up a grape as Liang Xi said that. He awkwardly put the grape back.

Liang Xi wasn’t targeting Xie Zhuxing. He said to him, “Xiao Xie is in a ship with me. He can eat however much he wants. When you’re done, there’s more in the fridge.”

Xie Zhuxing, “…”

Wang Chao spat his grape skin out as he boasted proudly, “You can be quiet. Me and Xiao Xie are the true ship here. We’re the official ship.”

Liang Xi, “And what’s your ship name?”

Wang Chao froze as he hadn’t thought of that yet..

Liang Xi continued to provoke him, “Ayo, an official match that doesn’t even have a ship name? At least I have one.”

Just as the two of them were going back and forth, the doorbell rang. It was Liang Xi’s assistant.

“This is Zhao Zhengyi,” Liang Xi introduced. “Wang Chao, you’ve met him before. Xiao Xie, just call him Xiao Zhao. My hand’s injured so he’s here to walk my dog for me.”

Zhao Zhengyi greeted the two.

Liang Xi wanted to discuss some things with Wang Chao, so he didn’t hold back either as he said to Xie Zhuxing, “Xiao Xie, why don’t you go out and walk the dogs with Xiao Zhao? He’s very clumsy. I’m afraid that he might lose them. Go help him out.”

And so Xiao Xie went out with Zhao Zhengyi.

Wang Chao didn’t feel assured as he rushed out to the doorway. “The dog’s too big. Are you gonna be okay?”

“I have a labrador at home. I used to help my mom walk it. I’ll be fine,” Xie Zhuxing replied.

Wang Chao watched Xie Zhuxing lower his head and rub the dog’s head. Seeing how his smile was especially gentle, something seemed to tickle his heart.

Xie Zhuxing looked up.

Wang Chao’s gaze was stuck on his lips, his throat bobbing.

He wanted to smile, but he held it in.

Xie Zhuxing wasn’t a child who didn’t know anything. He knew that Wang Chao’s mind was full of perverted stuff when he stared at him these past few days.

It was possible that he liked Wang Chao. It was also possible that he wanted to further their relationship. Xie Zhuxing would be lying if he said that he wasn’t happy. If it was someone else, then they would’ve taken advantage of the situation already. If one wants to be happy in their life, they must make a move.

But Xie Zhuxing was in fact just the type of person who didn’t like to indulge himself.

He didn’t want to expose Wang Chao. He wanted to pretend like he knew nothing and continue to gaze coldly at Wang Chao who didn’t have the bravery to confess but still stared at him with naked eyes as he scratched his ears, his mind full of fantasies of getting on the bed with Xie Zhuxing. On one hand, Xie Zhuxing was very happy, but on the other, he told himself to hold back and not be pulled in by that idiot.

He knew how stupid Wang Chao was. The reason why Wang Chao kissed him was to prove to others that “he was closer to Xiao Xie”. The reason why Wang Chao suddenly wants to have sex with him may be because he feels that having sex is something close friends would do, just like kissing.

Idiots can live in blissful ignorance for their whole life, but Xie Zhuxing can’t. He had to go through successive denials before he could be sure that he liked a person. Although he was still a bit hesistent about being in a relationship with someone of the same sex, he didn’t reject any of Wang Chao’s intimacy towards him. If he really decided to get together with him, then anything could go. After feeling good on the bed, what comes after? They would have to face all the pressures of homosexuality, the members, their career, their family, society, and so on. Once they made a decision, there was no turning back. They couldn’t be hasty; they had to think through this carefully. Was he really ready to rewrite his life plans in order for Wang Chao to enter his life?

And there was something else he didn’t understand. After that night Wang Chao hooked up with that girl on drugs—either willingly or unwillingly—had a fever and slept for a night, he started to focus his eyes on him. Why did his brain suddenly make such a sharp turn?

Looking at Wang Chao right now, it was evident  he was thinking about something dirty again.

Xie Zhuxing said solemnly, “You should go back in.”

Wang Chao licked his lips and said, “Hm? Go in where?”

Xie Zhuxing, “….” Where do you want to go?

Wang Chao snapped back to reality and said awkwardly, “Then I’m going to go in…you should go. Hurry and go.”