Chapter 15 这爱可以有美好的一面吗？（中）Can this love have a beautiful side? (⅔)
Guo Zhi ran back to the hostel, he was short breath, the room did not have cries but he did not stop the tears. He stared at himself in the mirror, there were memories that he cannot forget drilling out to swallow him up.
[T/N I'm a.s.suming this is a flashback since he's going to university and is in high school]
That day's sky was azure,[1] the clouds languidly [2] changed shape. Guo Zhi who just entered junior high school, carried his school bag in high spirits[3] on the way home. When he was young he noticed that he was special, he felt pride for being out of the ordinary, he always is very happy, can not find the needed reason to be in sorrow.
[1] bright blue in colour like a cloudless Sky
[2] weak or faint. If you do something languidly, you do it slowly. So the author is saying the clouds are slowly changing shape.
[3] 兴高采烈 xing gao cai le an idiom which means happy and excited
"Mum, I'm back." Guo Zhi opened the door and put his school bag back into his own room.
"So early ah. I just brought back some fruits, wait for me to wash them."
"Okay."
Guo Yun Yong heard Guo Zhi's voice and came out from the bedroom, he put down the newspaper in his hands: "First day of learning shouldn't be heavy now ba?" That is Guo Yun Yong's only matter of concern, Guo Zhi's learning, Guo Zhi's achievement, Guo Zhi's future.
"Very good, the teachers at school a very responsible. Cla.s.smates are also very kind." Guo Zhi seriously answered.
Guo Yun Yong satisfied, nodded his head then said: "Your English course still has room for improvement, take advantage of junior high school and try hard, it's much better if you lay the foundation."
"Got it."
"Tomorrow I will go to the bookstore to buy you English books."
"Okay."
Zhou Hui brought out fruits, Guo Yun Yong turned on the TV changing to the news channel tilting his leg burning a cigarette. Zhou Hui kindly looked at Guo Zhi touching his head: "Our Guo Zhi is so obedient, you will definitely find a good wife in the future. Do you like any types now?" Zhou Hui tease Guo Zhi.
"How old is he, saying this, monkey business"[4] Guo Yun Yong blamed Zhou Hui
[4] 胡闹 Hu nao means "p.i.s.s about" "prank" 'skylark" "mischief" "running wild"
Guo Zhi stared at the TV biting an apple, his face so innocent, his eyes so clean, his language so pure: "But, I don't like girls, I seem to like boys." Once the words were spoke out, everything was quiet, just left the sound of the TV. Everything was terribly silent, the fruit knife in Zhou Hui's hand dropped onto the floor. Guo Yun Yong looked at Guo Zhi, his eyes like an eagle, sharp and cold staring at Guo Zhi: "What did you just say?"
Guo Zhi did not notice the unusualness still staring at the TV shaking his legs: "I don't like girls, I seem to like boys." He still repeated it. Guo Yun Yong clenched his teeth, used strength to put out the smoke in his hand and stepped forward to close the TV turning around to look at Guo Shi: "Who taught you to say this?"
"No, no one." Only then did Guo Zhi find out that his father didn't look right.
"Where did you learn it from?"
Guo Zhi forcibly shook his head, Guo Yun Yong went to Guo Zhi's room and picked up his school bag to the living room. He forcibly ripped the zipper emptying everything from the bag onto the ground: "Definitely read a weird book, behave yourself and hand it over to me." Guo Yun ayong was trying to find the reason for Guo Zhi saying such a thing, he didn't dare to believe and could not believe it. His chest simmering with anger.
He angrily threw the book bag towards Guo Zhi, Guo Zhi shrunk his body. His eyes puzzled and lost not understanding why he provoked his father to be angry, he did not understand where he was wrong more. He carefully asked: "I like boys, is this wrong?"
Guo Yun Yong went forward with big steps, grabbed Guo Zhi dragging him up. His arm's pain made Guo Zhi scrunch his eyebrow but did not dare make a sound. Guo Yun Yong shouted: "These shameless words, how could you have the nerve to say them out. Are you not sick"
Zhou Zhi came up to prevent: "Guo Zhi is joking, right. Tell your father you're only just joking, it's not true."
Guo Yun Yong shouted: "Do his face seem like he is joking? Stay out of it! If I don't teach him properly he won't know the immensity if heaven and earth."[5]
[5] an exaggerated opinion of one's abilities.
As it turns out his distinctiveness will make others feel disgusted, Guo Zhi's face paled.
Guo Yun Yong's face livid dragged Guo Zhi towards him, the bright coloured apple in Guo Zhi's hands fell to the ground. He staggered being pulled, Guo Yun Yong loudly scolded: "Where did you learn dubious thing from? What? like men? You dare to say these nauseous words again? Try it!"
Guo Zhi terrified, his body trembled: "I, I can't like men?"
This question made Guo Yun Yong's face red, allowing no explanation stepped forward picking up the root cane, without the slightest hesitation hit Guo Zhi's body: "You still dare to say! This is called perverted!"
"This is called a disease!" He spoke whilst he cane in his hand deadly hitting Guo Zhi.
"This is called psychological abnormality!"
"The son Lao Zi gave birth to is not gay!"
"Where do you see a person like you outside, unfilial domestic anima.[6] Do you want to anger me and your mum to death!"
[6] 畜生 means domestic animal or beast and is less commonly translated to b.a.s.t.a.r.d or brute.
Every word was accompanied by a whip, the cane emitted a whistling sound, skin emitted a groaning sound. Guo Zhi dodged painfully, holding himself. Language (words) and pain seared into his body, he cried unable to bear the pain: "Stop hitting, father stop hitting. It hurts, it really hurts!"
"Pain, you also know pain! Called that you like men, how did I give birth to such a unpromising waste. Say it out, don't think about lifting your head for a lifetime. Have you said it outside before?"
"I haven't, I really haven't"
"It's best you haven't! Do you want to be seen as a joke by everyone?"
Hurt, it really hurts. Thirteen year old Guo Zhi cried under the cane. Zhou Hui stood behind Guo Yun Yong. She didn't dare to make a sound, looked at Guo Zhi feeling sorry but in her eyes she was disappointed towards him. She did not understand why Guo Zhi this child would say such words, just silent tears. Guo Zhi's blurry tearful eyes saw his mother's disappointed face, his father's angry face and understood that liking boys is not something worth to be proud of and is something that is wrong. It will bring him and his family such pain, he felt very guilty. He felt incomparable disgust with himself, he should not like men, he cannot like men. This is wrong.
"See clearly what you are, you are also a Male." Guo Yun Yong's cane brandished on Guo Zhi's body again and again. Guo Zhi croaked shouting in pain.
"Father, don't hit me, don't bit me, I beg you~ it hurts~" Guo Zhi's body cannot bear, he instinctively cried out for mercy. Tears fell on his clothes, fell onto the ground rolled marking (the floor?)
"Do you still want to like boys, do you still want to be a pervert?"
Guo Zhi forcibly shook his head.
"Say it!"
"Hurts! Don't, I don't like boys."
"Do you know wrong?"
"Know, I know!" Skin from his wound came off, bright red blood flowing out dying his clothes.
"Remember this wound and pain, it will let you remember that you are not gay."
Guo Yun Yong threw the cane, angrily and forcibly slammed the door leaving.
Zhou Hui held the weak Guo Zhi at once, her tears never stopped, she remained silent helping Guo Zhi treat his wounds. Guo Zhi's lips whitened, fingers trembling out to erase the teardrop on his mother's face: "Mother, sorry. Sorry, I will not say it again after. Sorry, stop crying."