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T.w. The biggest gaslighter in the history of gaslighters.
“What are you doing?”
The joy that filled my heart, however, was shattered by his blade-like voice. 1 . I was unable to continue recalling the sensation of Seo Dawon’s touch–his finger on my lips.
I lowered my finger and slowly looked back; Moon Issak scanned my body with piercing eyes. I smiled awkwardly to try and wash away his doubts, “I-I lost my ring…”
“Ring?”
“It’s a bit big, so… It fell off.”
“……”
“Still, I managed to find it.” With that said, I raised my left hand, inviting him to take a look. Only then did Moon Issak unfurrow his brows and raise his hand towards mine.
I wanted to ignore that detestable gesture, but my feet moved involuntarily. I reluctantly approached him. Moon Issak reached out with both hands and grabbed my face, which was now close to his. His palms were warm–possibly because he had been driving not too long ago. “How many hours did you search for this? You’re completely frozen.”
“What?”
“What a fool… You could have asked me to find it when I came back home.” Moon Issak also stroked my neck, as if to raise my body temperature. Then, he grasped my arm with reckless force. “Let’s go back in.”
“……” As I was dragged along by the investigator, I looked back.
Though I couldn’t see Seo Dawon, I kept staring at the dark shadows between the towering trees and bushes. It felt as if the man was watching me from somewhere the light couldn’t reach.
* * *
Despite my repeated assurances that I was fine, Moon Issak stubbornly poured water into cup ramen and handed it to me. I didn’t particularly like ramen, but Moon Issak often stocked the kitchen pantry with instant food–perhaps he actually enjoys that sort of food.
I silently watched as he poured hot water from the electric kettle in front of me. After setting up the hot water, he went up to the second floor. Soon afterwards, he appeared with a blanket in both hands.
As he placed the blanket over my shoulder, I complained quietly, “The blanket is going to get in the way when I’m eating…”
“You always just pick at the noodles anyway.”
“Because it’s not tasty…”
“You complain a lot for someone who lives on another’s charity.” Despite his mean words, he sat down in front of me.
I turned to avoid his gaze and blew on my noodles; as I ate the ramen, I was deep in thought.  If it were Dawon, he would have made my favorite cream soup. Not some ramen, like this…
‘Hm?’
At that moment, the image of someone’s back–wearing an apron–flashed across my mind. Soon after, as if they were forcing their way in, thoughts of Moon Issak seeped through the cracks in my mind. I stopped resisting, pressing my hand against my throbbing temples.
After living with him for a month, I realized–though I knew little else about the man–that Moon Issak was a man with very few survival skills. It was amazing how he had survived thus far. The reason why he made me prepare all his meals was because Moon Issak didn’t know how to do anything but pour water into some cup ramen.
I pretended to focus solely on eating my cup ramen, ignoring the man sitting across from me. But suddenly, a thought came to mind, and I lifted my head. “Um… How do you feel about learning how to cook?”
Moon Issak stared into my eyes as if he were searching for an ulterior motive behind my question, “Why would I?”
“It’d be good for your health if you could eat your own home-cooked meals…?”
“You can do that for me.”
“I can’t cook for you every day.”
“……”
Did I make another mistake? I was a little scared when I saw his distorted expression.
It was obvious that he had noticed my hesitation. He glanced at my face; his mouth moved as if he were about to say something before he tightly sealed his lips once more. The investigator seemed to be holding back in his own way, but the atmosphere had already turned chilly due to his expression.
I couldn’t stomach any more ramen, but I stirred at the broth with the chopsticks.
Still staring at me, Moon Issak asked irritably, “Why do you always pick at your food?”
“…I don’t like Ramen.”
“Even if I buy you something else, you’ll just pick at that too.”
I recalled how Moon Issak would occasionally buy and bring home some late night snacks. He would pack things like chicken or salmon, which suited my taste buds a lot better than ramen. However, he kept urging me to eat faster, until I eventually vomited it all up.
Moon Issak told me to stop eating at night after I vomited; he blamed the time of day instead of his impatient urging. In the end, it was always all my fault.
“Despicable…” As those memories resurfaced and my annoyance at being falsely accused intensified, I inadvertently murmured curses at the investigator.
However, Moon Issak’s ears must have caught my quiet mumbles, “What was that?”
“It’s nothing.” I pretended that everything was alright while he glared at me in disbelief. However, he didn’t bother me anymore after that. Relieved, I took a small sip of the ramen broth–my tastebuds didn’t even register its taste.
“If you catch a cold tomorrow, I’m going to kill you.”
“……”
Of course, Moon Issak had to say something hurtful. I didn’t answer and merely shrugged my shoulders.
* * *
After finishing the cup noodles, I took a shower and reflected back on my day. I thought something fun had happened in the middle of the day, but I couldn’t remember what that was; so, I kept wiping at the guileless mirror. The foggy mirror felt like my own mind, hazy and unclear.
I did that for about half an hour. At that moment, Moon Issak swung open the unlocked bathroom door.
I shouted, irritated, “Leave! I’m washing up!”
“Are you going to wash all day?”
Moon Issak was like a prison warden. He had removed all the locks, so I couldn’t lock any of the doors in the space I was allowed to stay in.
According to him, he entered the bathroom during my showers because I might have another ‘seizure’ if I were left alone. But, since I had no recollection of that ever happening, it just felt like he was violating my human rights.
It wasn’t just once or twice that Moon Issak had barged into my shower session like this. Especially recently–he almost always barged in.
He claimed that he was worried about me, but, even after confirming I was fine, he would scan my body with a discomfiting gaze. Even now, he blatantly stared as I hurried to wear a shower robe.
‘…How can a person like this still remain a civil servant and not be fired?’
However, Moon Issak, ignorant of my inner thoughts, approached me willfully. While opening the sliding doors to the cabinet, he asked, “Shall I dry your hair?”
“That’s alright…”
“It’ll take another hour if you try to do it yourself. I said I’ll help, didn’t I?”
“……”
“Your left hand is crippled, after all.”
“Haah…” I let out a deep sigh and opened the string to my bathrobe. Taking my silence as consent, Moon Issak left the room to bring the hair dryer.
I followed him slowly, like a real prisoner. I knew that talking with him wouldn’t change anything, but it was even more difficult than usual to endure his violence today.
‘This isn’t right… But, perhaps he just wants to dry my hair today.’
I gave up and resigned myself to my fate, sitting in the chair he had guided me to. Moon Issak ran his fingers through my hair, slowly sweeping from the crown of my head and adjusting the wind pressure as we went.
“……”
At the same time, he kept massaging my neck.
‘This perverted bastard…’
I cursed inwardly, but I couldn’t help but flinch every time his hand grazed past my ear. He moved leisurely, savoring my trembles. Then, rubbing and pressing at my shoulders, he said, “Choi Lee-kyung.”
“……”
“You know I’ve been generous with you, right?”
“……”
But, I thought that Moon Issak just did whatever he wanted…?
However, I really couldn’t stand it when he slid back the bathrobe that clung to my damp neck and spoke as if he was truly taking care of me. I jumped out of the seat, reflexively avoiding his hand.
Moon Issak smirked and turned off the dryer. Once the noise had disappeared, the room became eerily silent. He stared at my momentarily frightened expression and asked, “Why are you pretending to dislike it?”
“Are you crazy?” I couldn’t quite understand Moon Issak’s absurd attitude.
However, when he flicked his finger–
“Nngh…!” Immediately, my back bent; a strong impact slammed into my head. A fishy scent filled the air, and my nose started to sting.
I sat down, covering my nose, which had started bleeding. Moon Issak sauntered towards me leisurely, acting as if he hadn’t assaulted me. As he stood in front of me, he murmured to himself, “Why–why isn’t this working. In the first place, this was never meant to be a point of conflict.”
“Haah, haah…”
“If I desire it, you should be willing to tear out your heart and offer it to me. Spreading your legs should be easy.”
When I looked up, I saw Moon Issak’s furrowed, uncomprehending face.
To treat a person like this–beating them like a dog and mocking them–and yet acting as if I should naturally adore him… Moon Issak was nothing but a terrifying presence to me, and I had never voluntarily submitted to him even once.
However, Moon Issak merely tapped my knee with the tip of his shoe without understanding this obvious fact, “It’s not fun this way…”
With that said, he casually brushed aside his disheveled hair and continued to stare intently at me, who still had blood pouring from my nose. The animosity, hatred, and simmering anger within me were not hidden, and it seemed that Moon Issak was well aware of those emotions.
Moon Issak crouched down at a distance, trying to meet my gaze. “Choi Lee-kyung. I already told you that — and I should be treated as the same in your mind.”
“……”
“Why are you becoming even more disobedient?”
“……”
“You’ll only be tormented if you resist?”
Whenever Moon Issak spoke, my mind echoed with a ringing, buzzing sensation. However, I grit my teeth and endured the pain. Showing a pained expression would only bring joy to this sadist.
However, I didn’t want Moon Issak to continue hitting me for my refusal to submit. If I continued to endure this, it would come to a point where I couldn’t recover, both physically and mentally.
Though I hated Moon Issak, I had been trying to keep my intense hatred for him from occupying too much space in my heart. However, he will surely try to break me, no matter what it takes. This time, he may resort to such extreme violence that he could truly shatter my sanity.
‘…What could he want?’
The question that lingered in my mind every day suddenly resurfaced. Moon Issak definitely wanted something from me–something my unconditional obedience could give him.
Then suddenly, I remembered the ring Moon Issak had placed on my finger. Despite the constant blood flow from my hand, I looked down at the ring on my left ring finger.
Drip–
A droplet from the nosebleed fell onto the ring; strangely enough, the diamond in the ring began to gradually turn pink. With each subsequent droplet, it grew even darker, as if it was absorbing my blood.
And, at that moment–
–Knock Knock–
I heard someone knocking on the door.
TL: If someone’s ever treating you like this, run away. Far.
Also, I like how Lee-kyung still has the prescience of mind to reject Moon Issak, no matter what. That must have taken a lot of mental and physical fortitude.
Footnotes
서슬 퍼런 is, literally, ‘sharp blue.’ Basically, the word is describing the edge of a blade, and it’s used to refer to harsh or sharp things.