CH 226

To my chagrin, Seo Dawon was barely pushed back. However, his face, which hardened after I pushed him away, showed signs of rare bewilderment.

Seo Dawon, who looked at me with a pitiful, troubled expression–like the Mage was at his wit’s end–stroked my hair. Frustrated, he said, “That’s different.”

“What’s different?”

“……” Seo Dawon was briefly silent. Then he opened his mouth as if to say something; he tried to speak a couple of times. But, soon, he closed his mouth tightly and lowered his eyes. Rather than being lost in thought, it looked as if the Mage was anxious–like he had never been driven into a corner like this in the past.

I crossed my arms over my chest and put some force behind my gaze; this posture was almost reminiscent of the Mage’s usual intimidation tactics. This time, I wasn’t going to back down until I heard a proper answer.

Seo Dawon made eye contact and sighed deeply, “Han Kiseok and I have different circumstances. For one, I can’t do anything in this body.”

The Mage used a cheat card–His death, the fact that he was a Vengeful Ghost and a servant… Normally, one couldn’t say much against these points.

However, I didn’t retreat docilely–I had endured far too much. Could Vengeful Ghosts not say they loved someone? He’s been with me for so long! “No, I’m not talking about that–your attitude…!”

“So, I know what you want to hear from me…I’m saying that I can’t say those words in my condition.”

Seo Dawon knew what I wanted to hear. As he spoke, he looked somewhat angry, though it didn’t seem like he was angry with me… It looked more like… like the Mage was restraining himself?

“Then… Don’t be kind to me from now on; just ignore me.” The problem, though, was that I was currently too incensed to care. I couldn’t control my destructive urges–I’d rather have Seo Dawon explode at me instead.

I knew my words would be clearly provocative; when Seo Dawon’s brows furrowed, I felt elated rather than scared. I hoped Seo Dawon also found all the things I had said unforgettable and concerning–I hoped he’d be unable to ignore my words. Therefore, I raised my voice and shot more verbal bullets, “Feel free to tell me how much you like me whenever you feel like it. You probably expect me to cry tears of gratitude, hm?”

“……”

“You arrogant bastard.” I reached out my hand to throw a pillow at the Mage; Seo Dawon was able to catch my arm first. We fell over onto the bed, his body crushing mine.

When I lost my balance and fell down, Lackey bit Seo Dawon’s shoulder, but the Mage simply shrugged the skeleton off. He looked down at me, motionless.

When our eyes met, my breath caught in my throat; I sensed chilling, overwhelming rage in his pupils. That was the first time I’ve ever seen such raw emotion from the Mage.

“I really wish I could ignore you too, Lee-kyung-ah.”

“……”

“But, you already know. One’s heart doesn’t act according to the owner’s wishes.”

“……”

With that said, Seo Dawon gripped my arm with more force. I trembled at the growing pressure–the ache that built in my arm; he released his strength immediately after feeling those shivers, but, still, I was pushed into the bed and unable to struggle.

Furthermore, Seo Dawon looked down at me with a numb, hair-rising gaze. At this point, I would normally have avoided his eyes, but I didn’t want to retreat now.

So, I daringly glared at him even more–even as my body uncontrollably shivered.

""

After watching me for a while, Seo Dawon opened his mouth. “You really can’t understand unless I say it out loud?”

“……”

It sounded like he wanted me to point out something we both knew.

Actually, although I didn’t think our affection for each other was at the same level, I also believed that Seo Dawon had opened his heart to me to some extent. However, even after our kiss, I still felt some distance between us, and the gap did not narrow no matter how much I tried to approach him.

The Mage was the first to claim that Han Kiseok had been playing around with me; and, in the meantime, I had heard about his history with Ryu Hyerin. I was tired of the Mage’s attitude–no different from Han Kiseok….

Seo Dawon: the root cause of all my anxiety and anticipation. Perhaps he read something from my expression and silence, he didn’t wait for my explicit answer. “To be honest, I don’t know how Han Kiseok regarded you. There could be many explanations. However, why should I be positive about that? Maybe he wanted to meet with you to reignite a friendly relationship… Should I have said that and sent you off with a smile?”

“That’s…”

“You must think I must be some pushover who’d cheer you on with your first love, hm?” Seo Dawon blatantly stared at me.

I listened to him blankly before feeling flustered. Because he sounded jealous. So, I stammered and tried to justify myself, “B-But, I have no intention of becoming intimate with Han Kiseok again! That’s…You already know…Who I actually like…”

However, Seo Dawon cut me off with a wry smile, “Me? I’m dead, though, and Han Kiseok is alive.”

“That doesn’t matter to me.”

“But it’s absolutely important to me. Han Kiseok is no better than me in every aspect, but the fact that he’s alive and breathing makes me inferior.” Seo Dawon spouted out the last part bitterly before closing his mouth, almost as if the Mage were entrapping his emotions.

""

I placed a hand on his beating heart, both bewildered and conflicted.

Seo Dawon looked down at me and scolded me in a frustrated tone, “Don’t be happy. Don’t pity me either.”

“I… I’m not.”

“Then how do you explain your ear-to-ear smile?”

I closed my mouth audibly; Seo Dawon looked at me as if he were about to say something else but eventually released my hand.

As I lowered my arm, Seo Dawon looked at his hand, sighed, and turned his head away. After hesitating, I sat up, pulled Seo Dawon’s head towards me again, and grasped the Mage’s arm. He adopted a curt expression.

“Seo Dawon, I…” I called out to him with the intent of sharing my overflowing emotions, but, the moment I saw his ruby-red gleaming eyes, my lips kept trembling.

Seo Dawon’s sullen face seemed a little embarrassed when I stuttered and failed to speak. No, to be exact… He guessed my inner emotions by staring at my reddening face.

He opened his mouth to say something but bit his lips to hold back laughter. Naturally, his temper had cooled down; sheepishness flooded both of our countenances.

“W-Why are you laughing?!” I shouted.

“You’re making an amusing face.”

“S-Stop laughing…! I was working up the courage to say something important…!”

""

“Hehe…Then, say it.”

“You’re laughing, so I won’t speak.” The courage buff my overflowing emotions had given me disappeared with the sudden change in atmosphere. Somehow, I felt too embarrassed to say anything.

Seo Dawon acted like he was going to whisper something into my ear but then pulled me into his embrace. And then, while I was startled, he did breathe into my ear, raising goosebumps all along my skin. “You can’t see my face anymore, so tell me.”

“……” I pouted, and fell silent. Seo Dawon continued to nag me, although I was pretty sure he knew the reason for my silence.

“Why aren’t you speaking?”

”H-Hold still…”

“So much suspense–just what kind of amazing thing were you going to say?”

“……” Instead of talking, I hugged Seo Dawon, face-to-face, and quickly pulled at his hair. I wanted to convey to him, ‘Shut up!’ As expected, he closed his mouth. Really…he was reading my mind…Damn. Damn….

“So, I….Han Kiseok or whoever. Right now, I…”

“……”

“L-Like… Mpphgh!!” I gradually calmed myself down. As I tried to lay bare my emotions, something hard suddenly climbed up my back and blocked my mouth.

Seo Dawon immediately released me from his embrace and looked at the thing that had covered my mouth. I could see the Mage’s expression contort in real time. “This crazy skeleton punk…”

Bam–!

Lackey wasn’t the only interruption; the door suddenly opened. Jung Garam rushed in, scratching at both arms. Behind him, the other servants followed, whining and grumbling.

“Ah, goosebumps. Seriously!!!”

“Still, I wanted to hear what Choi Lee-kyung-ssi wanted to say.”

“If the door hadn’t opened just now, I would have torn the room apart with my echo blades. Fuck. What the hell are they doing?”

“Choi Lee-kyung. I recommend you don’t be alone with Seo Dawon for the time being.”