āDoesnāt he realize how weāve drifted apart? Or, perhaps he forgotā¦ā
Of course, there wasnāt much I wanted to say to him now. The reigning factor in why Han Kiseok and I drifted apart was how he had spread rumors and talked behind my backā¦
āAlthough, before then, he seemed to be tired of meā¦ā
Han Kiseok already had a clique that suited his status. Though he had somehow gotten along with me and talked with me often, he still was close with his other friends.
Furthermore, Han Kiseok would completely ignore me while he hung with his crowd. Even if he ran into me while with his friends, he didnāt even bother including me in their activities. Therefore, while Han Kiseok talked with his friends, I stood, alienated, until he called for me again.
āAnd, most damningly, heād stand at the front and tell his friends about my issuesā¦ā
And I would have to listen to that from the back of the group.
Honestly, I couldnāt remember what Han Kiseok said in detail now. Itād been so longāand I didnāt think it was that shocking that he thought of me like that.
After all, even when Han Kiseok acted kindly to me, he often belittled or acted superior to me. After that night-to-dawn moment when I had revealed all my insecurities and problems, he began to act a bit colder. There were days when he wouldnāt contact me for one or two days at a time. It was as ifā¦
ā¦He wanted me to stop leaning on him for support.
Therefore, rather than Han Kiseokās actions, I was more shocked by his friendsā reactions. Their unsurprised giggling and gossipingā¦it was as if they had heard him complain many times beforeā¦ That was perhaps the larger contributor to my shock and sense of betrayal.
He probably wouldnāt understand if I were to bring up this by-gone history. Heād probably shrug his shoulders as if he saw nothing wrong with his actions.
It would have honestly been less shocking if Han Kiseok had hit me. If he hated meādespised meāthen at least he saw me as an equal. When I had begun to think of him as something between āfriendā and ālover,ā he had not even thought of me as a āfriend.ā The misery I felt that dayā¦
Even if Han Kiseok hadnāt contacted me from that day on, he wasnāt one to usually initiate contact in the first place.
Because we had drifted away under those conditions, I wasnāt pleased that Han Kiseok had DMād me. I thought about sending him scathing words or perhaps just ignoring himā¦ Or, honestly, I wanted to move on from this conversationāas if nothing happenedāafter exchanging some superficial small talk.
In any case, I wasnāt happy to see him at all. It wasnāt that I havenāt moved on from the events of that day, butā¦
āTo be honest, itās still a dark blot on my personal historyā¦ā
I suppose I was embarrassed by my clumsiness and naivete. My face inadvertently heated up when I remembered how I couldnāt hide my affections and sent him notes or letters.
Han Kiseok was like a highschool diary; he probably remembered all the stupid ways I actedāthings I attempted to blot out of my memory. Perhaps he thought of me from time to time. Something likeā¦
āIn the past, I had a guy who liked me.ā
Well, I suppose that would be all heād have to say about meā¦
[Choi Lee-kyung: hi hi] 1
So, after much consideration, I simply gave him a casual greeting. In reality, I wanted to ignore himā¦but I still had too many lingering grudges to simply ignore him.
However, it wasnāt like I wanted to receive an apology for the scars he had given me in the past. I just wanted to show Han Kiseokāin the past he had treated me like a nobody; I wanted to clearly show him that I was over him. I wanted to make him think, āChoi Lee-kyung must not like me anymore.ā
[Choi Lee-kyung: Yah, itās been a year since Iāve become a User lolol]
Therefore, I forced myself to sound friendly and relaxed, adding [lolol] to the end of my response.
Also, I used to have the habit of telling Han Kiseok everything that had happened to me, even before the other askedā¦ If he remembered that, perhaps heād feel a lack of warmth in my words.
Han Kiseok replied to me about 2 minutes later.
[Han Kiseok: I searched you up on the System networkāI see youāre not part of a guild yet.]
[Han Kiseok: Also youāre a Necromancer?]
I was totally pissed off. āHahhh?!!ā
Han Kiseok already knew that my prospects as a User was low; he didnāt even deign ignorance. My plan to pretend chicness and nonchalance was suddenly torn apart at the mention of my specifications.
It was customary for Users to enter small social guilds or medium-sized career guilds; furthermore, my class was the worst. Even ordinary people knew that Necromancer was a future-less class. Put together, Han Kiseokās two questions gained a new meaning.
[You donāt have a guildā¦]
[And your class is the worst tooā¦ Are you able to properly feed yourself?]
""
It was the same as if he said that.
[Choi Lee-kyung: yeye lolol the daily routine of being in a guild just doesnāt suit me lolol]
So, even though I was trembling with fury, I tried to respond coolly. And, Han Kiseok connivingly responded with seemingly kind words.
[Han Kiseok: Thatās right, lolol, particularly disciplined places are difficult to handle]
[Han Kiseok: Youāre in the hub right now, right?]
[Han Kiseok: Your mom is worried because you havenāt been visiting recently.]
Then, if you consider what Han Kiseok knews about my specs, he probably meant
[Youāre too ashamed to go homeā¦]
Or, at least, that was my interpretation.
I immediately thought about the money Seo Dawon had given me and the corporate card Koo Hui-seo gave meāto spend as much as I pleased. Halfway through typing all that, I eventually deleted everything. It was money I couldnāt even brag aboutā¦ I couldnāt even send more than 30 million won to my mom because I was afraid Iād get caughtā¦ Damn.
[Choi Lee-kyung: Yah, lolol, Iāve had no time because Iāve been too busy in the dungeons lolol]
[Choi Lee-kyung: Iāve been raiding 3 dungeons a weekāIām so frazzled lolololol]
Still, I tried to respond nonchalantly, roleplaying a freelancer with too much scheduled on their timetable. Then, I went overboard and even sent an emoticon of a hamster running on its wheel, squeaking [Iām busy, too busy!]. After I sent him that, I felt a bit of shame rolling through meā¦ Who the heck even bought this emote sticker set? I bet it was Kim Olim. Damnā¦
[Han Kiseok: lolololol]
[Han Kiseok: I guess youāre pretty busy]
[Han Kiseok: Still, do you think youād have the time to see me once?]
It didnāt seem that Han Kiseok was affected by my words very much. He took everything I said as truth and refreshingly countered by asking to meetāit really did seem like he had forgotten about our past.
Noāhe could have simply searched me out of curiosity after hearing I became a User. Now that heād seen what horrible situation I was in, though, perhaps he wanted to ridicule me.
[Choi Lee-kyung: lololol Yeah, letās eat out sometime lolololol]
[Han Kiseok: Do you have time this weekend?]
Han Kiseokās desire to meet must not have been mere empty words; he tried to schedule a set time. I had no idea heād press for a specific time; I could only hesitate and respond [The weekend?]. Han Kiseok didnāt back down.
[Han Kiseok: I donāt mind meeting in the middle of the week either.]
[Han Kiseok: I should use all my years of experiences, keke]
[Choi Lee-kyung: Wellā¦]
[Choi Lee-kyung: Wait lolol Iāll check my schedule lolol]
[Han Kiseok: Ah, also, letās add each other as a friend through the system.]
[Han Kiseok: SNSĀ 2Ā is for common folk, not Users.]
[Choi Lee-kyung: Huh?]
[Han Kiseok: Donāt wanna?]
[Choi Lee-kyung: As if. Lololololol]
[Choi Lee-kyung: Go-go!]
[Han Kiseok: Sent lololol]
He had even asked me to accept his [Friend Request].
For some reason, I didnāt want to back down either, so I accepted his requestā¦. But, looking at the āfriendā tab on my status windowā[Kim Sangyoon], [Moon Issak], [Han Kiseok]ā¦ To be honest, I felt incredibly dismal for the future. None of those people became my āfriendā for genuine reasons.
In addition, while browsing through the [Friend Request] section, I was flustered to see Koo Hui-seoās name in the āWaiting for Acceptanceā section. How long ago had [Koo Hui-seo] sent a request?
[Han Kiseok: hi hi]
Meanwhile, Han Kiseok left our social media DMs and greeted me over the [Friend Chat] window in the system. Even though inwardly I knew nothing good could come of this situation, I continued to talk to him. And, swept along in the flow of that conversation, we even made an appointment to see each other at the Hub this Saturdayā¦
Eventually, our conversation finished, and I tugged at my hair. This wasnāt it! I only wanted to chicly say to him, āIām not that Choi Lee-kyung who desperately clung onto you, anymore~āā¦
Become a Patron!
TL: Ahhh too many things to focus on
a) The fact that Lee-kyung thinks Olim downloaded cute sticker packs onto his phone is honestly so so cute.
b) My PR and I were cringing so much bc we can relate with the totally casualānot casual at allātexts that Lee-kyung was sending.
c) Hamchi is just too relateable. Also once again his tendency to doom-think shows upāhe takes everything said the worst way possible against him. Still, I donāt blame him in this particular situation.
Footnotes
Return of the chat speak! ć ć ć ć , consonant abbreviations for hi hi!Ā Texting through social media