CH 141

‘……Blood?’

Subconsciously, I placed my hand on my neck and fiddled with it. ‘Why would my blood matter when he’s talking about preparing for my possible murder? And I’ve not really bled much around him either…’

But, as soon as I had those thoughts, I glanced towards Seo Dawon; his eyes were trained on my neck, figuratively lapping at it. Startled, I reflexively leaned back. It felt like I’d been captured by a hungry beast.

‘I didn’t think it was possible… Does he truly want to drink my blood?’ I didn’t voice those thoughts–it was obvious just by looking at his expression… A strange silence dropped between the speechless me and him.

To think that Seo Dawon saw me as prey to eat… Of course, as a rational human being, he must have tried to prevent himself from doing just that.

‘In any case, he wanted to eat me to the point of needing to restrain himself.’

It was enough to unsettle me, who had liked him all this while. One may say that I should have realized this sooner, but I recognized, for the first time, that he was something truly ‘other’ than a human.

On the other hand, since he couldn’t eat normally, perhaps he truly needed my blood.

After all, some people donated their blood regularly; I wondered if I could give him enough blood without harming my overall health. Perhaps, I had received this news with a bit of anticipation, thinking that this might give meaning to my existence. “Um, excuse me… Can’t I help if this is something you want to drink? I can give it as long as it doesn’t affect my livelihood…”

However, that thought was immediately dwarfed by Seo Dawon’s suddenly cold expression.

A hostility that I had not felt before wrapped around us. With an awkward expression, I continued, trying to correct my previous statement, “If you don’t like that idea…”

“I don’t like it.” Seo Dawon answered immediately.

Just thinking about the hastiness of that response soured my mood.

I was a bit offended by his reply; the mage rarely expressed his disgust. I should have been relieved by his firm answer that he would not eat me, but, like a fool, I fell into a mental pitfall, thinking that he was rejecting my blood in particular.

“Ah, Mmm… If you need someone else’s blood…”

“You’re asking if I want to eat some other human’s blood?”

“Um, yes…”

“I’ve never once felt that way.” At my repeated questions, Seo Dawon’s expression gradually became harsher and harsher–it felt as if he were saying, ‘Stop asking about this.’

Looking at that face, I inwardly scoffed. ‘If you’re going to be like that, then what’s the point of asking me to ‘command’ you as I please…’

Sure, his tone may sound respectful, but, from the look on his face, if I truly did as I wished, we were bound to have troubles.

I mean, if you needed some blood–and it had to be my blood–why not just partake in it? Why must he be so hung up on maintaining such a dangerous, tenuous balance that seemed risky even from an outsider’s perspective?

‘Perhaps, can he not control himself?’

Maybe his situation was similar to a vampire’s? Of course, I’d never seen an actual vampire, but in movies, they usually went crazy at the sight of blood and ran amok with no care as to the consequences…

If Seo Dawon was feeling those same urges, perhaps he was thinking, ‘I may want to consume blood, but, since I may kill Choi Lee-kyung, I don’t want to drink it at all?’ Considering Seo Dawon’s confidence and ego, it may be possible.

“About my ‘commands’… In your current state, you have to obey everything I say, right?”

“Yes.”

“You can’t ever refuse?”

“Yes.”

I confirmed the scope of these ‘commands’ with Seo Dawon.

As expected, this special ability must have absolute control over the Servants. Seeing someone with Seo Dawon’s personality speaking so respectfully to me…it lent a lot of credibility to that theory.

“Sit still for a minute. Don’t move until I tell you to move.” I ordered.

“……”

I remained skeptical of its efficacy, but, right after I gave the command, Seo Dawon stared at me in an upright position. A subtle change in the atmosphere gave me confidence that he was faithfully following my orders.

“Whew…” So, I took a deep breath and pulled a dagger out of my inventory. While taking it out, I glanced at Seo Dawon; although he didn’t move, I felt sharp tension pouring out from him.

As I set the blade on my palm, the vibe fluctuated even more erratically. And, at the center of that strange feeling, was Seo Dawon staring directly at me without blinking an eye. That unchanging line of sight intimidated me, but, in the end, I closed my eyes tight, gripped the dagger, and cut my palm.

‘Well, if he says I shouldn’t need to walk on eggshells and order him around…’

Feeling throbbing pain in my palm, I slowly opened my eyes.

However, Seo Dawon did not move as I had feared; in fact, there was no significant change in his expression either. It seemed as if the ‘command’ took priority over his desire for my blood.

Of course, the strange atmosphere still filled the room, but at least my life was not threatened. So, looking at the blood slowly pooling in my hand, I thought about how I should deliver this blood to Seo Dawon. ‘It would have been nice if I had a cup…’

Should I go to the kitchen? I belatedly blamed myself for slitting my palms before thinking it through. It would have been prudent if I had gotten a cup in advance before I injured myself. It would be unhygienic to make him lick my palms, and the Mage may feel humiliated if I asked him to do that…

“Haah……”

However, all those thoughts vanished at the sound of Seo Dawon’s constrained breaths.

I looked at him in surprise; Seo Dawon was still motionless, but the atmosphere surrounding him was more eerie and cloying than before. Of course, he was still obeying my order.

The pressure grew as time passed; I suppressed my nervousness and held a bloody hand out to the Mage. “You can drink it. In return, you have to stop when I tell you to stop.”

“……” Seo Dawon lowered his eyes, as if he were docilely obeying my words. Then, he gripped onto my fingers with one hand.

I faltered at the slight force drawing me closer to him, but I tried to not let my nervousness show and forced my tense shoulders to relax. When his lips touched my palm, I remained calm, ignoring the bitter, stinging pain.

However, Seo Dawon did not move after burying his lips on my palm. Even after I gave him permission, he did not drink. “U-um, if you don’t want to…”

""

Embarrassed, I wondered if I had somehow misunderstood him and tried to pull my hand away, but I was caught by a force that couldn’t be compared to the gentleness from the pull from before. As if waking up from deep sleep, Seo Dawon opened his eyes with a tranquil expression.

He then wiped clean the blood on his lips with the back of my hand. It felt like he resolved to not drink, but, for such a resolution, his behavior was a bit tenacious.

I blushed against my will. Seo Dawon looked up at me and whispered softly, “I said I didn’t want to partake, but…”

“Ah…”

“That’s not what I’m starving for.” With that said, Seo Dawon licked my wrist. Flustered, I twisted my wrist in his grasp; he tightened his grip, crushing the recent cut I had made.

“Nngh…!” It was painful enough to bring tears to my eyes, but Seo Dawon did not reduce the force of his grip even after hearing my groans. Rather, he bothered the injury, dealing unbearable pain.

Eventually, I shouted, “Stop! Stop…”

He immediately released his strength and took his hand away. I was shocked to see the ragged edges of the wound, that made it look as if I had torn instead of cut my palm.

“I think you finally understand now,” Seo Dawon placidly said.

“…What?”

“That’s how you should ‘command’ me.”

* * *

I healed the wound on my hand with the potions left in my inventory and ended the ‘command’ I had given Seo Dawon. After the Mage’s eyes returned to normal, he left the room without a word of apology to me.

I gave up on trying to understand him–I could only guess that my interference in his plans had somehow offended him.

“Why does Lee-kyung-ie look like he’s eaten shit?” However, it was hard to find the time to be depressed alone. Jung Garam casually opened the locked door and dragged me out, saying we should have dinner. With a glum expression, Seo Dawon placed fried rice, glossy from oil, in front of me.

Automatically, I wanted to call him out for his crazed actions, but, not wanting to show those feelings, I fiddled with the chopsticks. Immediately afterwards, Jung Garam began to question me.

TL: Lots of emotions to work through. Lee-kyung knows a bit more about Seo Dawon’s condition now–how there’s forces beyond his control. Yet, in his desire to be useful (because Lee-kyung can definitely feel how much of a burden he is in his current state and will work on that) Seo Dawon felt dehumanized. The mage doesn’t want to use Lee-kyung as a blood bag T_T. Nor does he want to feel inhuman.

Next time: Action–Park Hosoek!