CH 49.1

‘I can’t live long with such a broken body anyway.’

Didn’t she have just five years left at most?

My personal doctor, Jane, kept telling me to think positively, and that I’ll get better if I take good care of myself, but…

Once, while she wasn’t in the room, I snuck a peek at my medical records. My chances of getting better were slim.

And so, I decided to give up. There’s not much time for me to live anyway. It would be pointless to struggle and endure like the old Lily Everett.

“…Let’s stop talking and just head to bed now. It’s late.”

I changed the subject. I don’t intend to explain how I feel to Theodore.

His mouth opened and closed a few times, like there was something more he wanted to say.

However, he soon nodded and headed to bed.

Tonight was a mandated bed-sharing night when I’d pretend to sleep with him. But I just… didn’t want to sleep next to Theodore at all.

I still felt uncomfortable around him, and I… I still couldn’t trust him.

Why did he continue staying by my side even after seeing my true self?

I thought about it countless times, but I still couldn’t understand him.

From a distance away, I heard the sheets rustle as Theodore turned in the bed.

I waited for him to sleep, and after a while, I crept up to the bed.

He looked like he really was asleep now. Or perhaps he was just keeping his eyes closed and pretending that he was asleep.

“……”

Staring at him for a moment, I lay down next to him carefully. Very far away from him.

I could hear the fire crackling in the fireplace.

As autumn approached, the temperature here in the north sharply fell. The days of the summer felt like a distant mirage.

Amidst the darkness, the glow of the fireplace was gentle, and I could hear the soft breathing of the man who was sleeping next to me.

The sound tickled my ears and bothered me.

Sighing, I tossed and turned, then closed my eyes with a frown.

It was a sleepless night.

* * *

The next morning, the Valentino residence was on high alert.

Numerous rifts broke out all across Veronis, the territory of the Velentino family.

“I’ll be back.”

“…Be safe.”

Theodore, the lord of this estate, was sent on a subjugation expedition to stop the swarm of monsters and to close the rifts.

Dozens upon dozens of rifts, not just one or two…

How long would it take this time?

Feeling conflicted, I sighed as I saw Theodore off.

Apart from the complicated circumstances between me and Theodore, this new, terrible news weighed heavily on my mind.

“…It’s cold, Madam, perhaps because autumn is soon here. And it seems like it’s getting colder fast because we’re in the north. Please, let’s go back inside.”

I was staring blankly towards the direction where Theodore and the knights disappeared, but I soon came back to my senses as I heard Charlotte’s words.

Soon, I looked behind me and smiled faintly at Charlotte. I nodded, then answered.

“…Yes, I should.”

When I returned to the main mansion with Charlotte, it was also chaotic inside in many ways.

Some of the residence’s servants had family members amongst the knights who went to battle. The atmosphere was bound to be heavy.

It had been two days since almost everyone had such gloomy expressions on their faces.

The heavy atmosphere was stifling and I couldn’t stand it anymore. I finally decided to step up and do something—as the mistress of this household.

‘Back then, Missus Seymour made such decisions without consulting me…’

But these days, she was mostly staying in her room, absent from the household’s general affairs.

I wasn’t sure, but after the medical records had been stolen before, it seemed like there was another argument with Theodore.

And it likely took a toll on Missus Seymour. She acted as though she had lost all fervor for the Valentino Duchy.

But Charlotte repeatedly advised me to be careful, saying that Missus Seymour’s behavior was still suspicious.

Certainly enough, I agreed with her…

I couldn’t help but think that Missus Seymour was up to something suspicious these days.

Considering her personality, and considering the tenacity she had been fostering over the years for the Valentino Duchy, it’s not the kind of determination that would easily be dampened.

‘There’s no harm in being cautious.’

I took Charlotte’s advice to heart, and I became more serious as I faced what I was set to do for the day.

“Are all the ingredients ready?”

“Yes, Madam. Everything’s ready now.”

What we’re going to do today was nothing else but to make amulet knots to pray for the safety of the knights. We’ll be hanging them on the largest tree in the garden.

A tree that was used in this way was to be called an ‘Origin Tree’, and it was a fairly old tradition in Veronis.

“Now then, let’s start. Go ahead and take your seats.”

The servants who were gathered here at Avoridge Hall took my words as the signal to sit down, and they all immediately began to make knots.

The colors of the threads used to make knots were mainly red, blue, yellow and gold.

Purple and black were not used as they’re colors that symbolize death.

White, which symbolized the soul and innocence, was also not an appropriate color for a prayer knot.

‘I shall pray for Theodore’s safe return… I must.’

It would be better to pretend in front of the people of the Valentino residence…

No, whatever conflicted feelings I held for him, this time I had to sincerely pray for his safe return. It’s my duty.