Chapter 49

Episode 49

Another kind of ‘Stranger’

The more I said no, the more stubborn Jason seemed to be. Like with a true customer, you have to agree eagerly and soothe them with pretty words to end it early. The unfortunate thing was that I couldn’t do that at all.

If I said that I disliked it, I would be too obvious, but if I didn’t, it would be like having a knife at my throat. It might have been a little easier if I could please Jason. He might lose interest sooner and not bother me,

“How are you going to prove it?”

“By doing anything you ask.”

But I didn’t want to. These days, I was out of breath even when trying to calm myself down. I pressed the middle of my forehead when my head began to ache again.

“I don’t know why Lord Kazar is so persistent with

me.”

“I’m the one who wants to know why Lady Misérian… refuses favors. When you are having a hard time… is it that hard to say that you are having a hard time?”

Rather, I would have understood if he liked me. But Jason doesn’t like me. If he liked me, he wouldn’t have

said such nonsense. Just by looking at the difference in attitude he had toward Helena and me right now, it was not love.

It’s not love, it’s not sympathy, at the very least it’s not even the cliché of ‘You’re the first woman who pushed me away’ like the male protagonist in a drama.

Then why the hell?

“To be honest… Lady Misérian was only weak against His Highness. You always acted like that. Acting like you don’t need anyone other than His Highness, pretending to be strong and putting up thorns.”

He strode over to me with bloodshot eyes and grabbed both of my wrists. I twisted my body to get away, but his grip was so strong that I couldn’t move,

Jason restrained others as he pleased, but he was acting as if he had been the one imprisoned when he squeezed his sad eyes as he spoke.

“That’s how you increase your number of enemies.. You say you’ve grown up. Didn’t you say that you realized that His Highness wouldn’t love you? You said, you wanted to take a break…. Why…… are you whipping yourself?” (PR/N: ‘Whipping in this case meant ‘punishing 🙂

Eris’s image was clearly reflected in his eyes, but somehow it was out of focus. As if looking at someone else. Oh, now I understand. He was projecting himself onto me.

– I trained to slay a dragon until I bled. I held a sword as soon as I could walk and didn’t rest even for a day.

– I wanted to live, I wanted to run away and I thought it was all unreasonable.

The young Jason who could not do anything despite being forced to do something unreasonable, and Jason Kazar who had to die to meet someone’s expectations! He is trying to save me and comfort his former self.

I was so angry that my ears became hot. It felt like my head was spinning from the lack of oxygen.

Why are you trying to use other people to treat your own trauma? How ridiculous do you think people are……!

When a person is angry, superpower springs up.

I shook off Jason’s hand and slapped his cheek.

“What the hell do you know about me…! Don’t treat me like a weak woman you have to protect! You really don’t have a clue? I’m not miserable at all! It’s you who wants me to be miserable! That’s how I can dig myself into a hole!”

The words I have been holding back from Jason so far, I vented out all the anger that was boiling up in my abdomen. I couldn’t breathe well. He looked shocked, but I couldn’t stop my already opened mouth.

“Do I hate you? What if I hate you, and what if I don’t? Are you so afraid of being hated? Did you think you would only be loved by everyone in the world?”

It was an idea that even a young child would not have. After all, you are trying to entrust your ego to someone you don’t know. My stomach twisted, snorted and asked Jason with a cold face.

“What do I think of you… do you really want to hear that?”

Jason tried to blankly nod his head, but suddenly, out of fear, he hurriedly shook it. But however Jason answered, I was going to be honest. I’d laugh, casually, but tell a story he would never want to hear,

“You know… I’m not interested in Lord Kazar. I don’t hate you either. Hating is only possible if one’s interested.”

One step forward. I approached Jason. Then Jason took a step back from me as if he was afraid of something. Without stopping, I took another step…..

Jason’s eyes became moist. When Jason finally bumped into the wall and looked down at me in horror, I quietly said to him,

“I’m not curious at all. How you have lived and what you think.”

Jason eventually shed tears. Even that had nothing to do with me. I didn’t feel any excitement. He was at a loss and eventually tried to reach out to me.

I shrugged off the hand in anger.

It was annoying.

“What makes you happy and sad…… I don’t want to know, and I want to forget even if I know. I won’t cry even if you go somewhere and die tomorrow. Because you’re ‘a stranger’ to me.”

“You….. don’t need me?”

“If you understand, don’t talk to me in the future. I’m tired.”

I said that and turned around. For how long did I walk down the hallway to get back to my room?

“Wait, wait, please, young lady!”

I heard Jason chasing me from behind. As I ignored him and walked on firmly, the sound of his footsteps approached me. I thought he was going to grab my wrist soon.

Tack. A friction sound. But somehow I didn’t feel anything on my wrist.

“You…….”

Anakin was holding Jason’s wrist. Anakin released his hand when Jason used his strength. Because of that, Jason, who was shaken by the retaliation, stared furiously at Anakin.

“How dare you touch the body of a noble… Do you want to die?”

“My master is not Sir Kazar, and… whoever touches my master, if she doesn’t want it, it is my duty to stop him.”

Anakin responded coldly to Jason’s threat, knelt down on one of his knees and looked up at me.

“What should I do?”

He looked like a loyal dog waiting for an order, and so I sighed and laughed. After all, I said that I wouldn’t see him as a human dog. As I was about to stroke Anakin’s head, my hand stopped and I looked at Jason.

Flinch. Jason studied my face. I poured everything out earlier and now I was no longer angry.

“Jason Kazar, don’t bother me and leave.”

“If you want to throw away your feelings or memories like trash, I’ll lend you a mirror. Take care of it by yourself. Don’t look for other people.”

I’m talking about Helena. I added clearly to him by mouthing it silently.

Helena. The stupid kid was sure to accept Jason’s visit.

I won’t be able to see that again.

Jason stood devastated.

When the maid, who was cleaning the room, saw us standing, she covered her mouth in shock. She saw my expression and quickly approached Jason. I told her.

“Emma, it seems that the guest is lost. See him off to the exit.”

“Yes, miss. Lord Kazar, please come this way.”

After finally sending Jason away, I was exhausted both physically and mentally. I almost dragged myself and managed to open my door. I waved my hand to stop Anakin, who was trying to follow me in.

“Anakin, you go to the kitchen and get some medicine. My head hurts.”

“Yes.”

As Anakin left, I locked the door and buried my head in the pillow. I also got really upset. Locking the door so he can’t come in while he brings the medicine I told him to. (TL/N: haha she is being grumpy here)

I just wanted to get confirmation. I don’t want Anakin to give up on me easily, no matter how grumpy I was. For me, I wish he would try.

The pillow got wet. I wasn’t even sad, but tears came out. Everything was annoying. My insides were aching because of the stomach cramps caused by stress. I couldn’t even groan and just chewed my mouth. Praying that the pain will pass quickly. My face was wet with cold sweat and tears.

Creak. I could hear the doorknob turning, but the door wouldn’t open because I locked it.

I felt really sick and I wanted to pass out rather than die. Then, suddenly, there was the sound of the door opening.

From a blurry vision, I saw that Anakin opened the door and entered. He quietly placed the brought items on the bedside table and waved lightly in front of my eyes.

“Master, are you awake? I brought you some medicine.”

“…How did you open the door?”

“I was worried… so I asked the servant for the key, Can you get up?”

I actually thought he would come in using a revolutionary way. Breaking the door or coming through the window….. A little more like a scene from a novel.

My way of thinking is also changing as it is a fictional world. Anakin held me firmly as I fumbled to get up. I felt dizzy.

I rested my back on Anakin’s chest, breathing, and Anakin brought the vial to my mouth.

“Keep drinking it.”

He said in a low voice. I drank all the medicine he gave me, and even drank the water he gave me to cool my mouth.

Whether it was a placebo effect or not as the medicine might not have activated yet, but the pain reduced.

Even after I finished taking the medicine, he didn’t leave and he wiped my face with a cold towel. I liked the touch, so I felt pathetic, yet I wanted to ask.

“Do you like me?”