âYou got the nerve â You got the nerve to tell me that Iâm your friend! YouâŚ!!â
My voice was trembling, my expression twisting.
I could feel the heat in my eyes.
I would love to bite down on my emotions, but all the teeth grinding I did didnât help one bit.
My breath came out ruggedly.
âCalm down. I have to calm down or elseâŚ!â
It would be a bad move for me to blame Amalda here.
Elder Sister also warned me thoroughly before this meeting.
âNo matter what you say to Amalda, youâre the one whoâll turn out to be the villain!â
Thatâs why I couldnât lose my composure before Amalda at all costs.
I couldnât get mad, nor should I raise my voice.
Not in front of others, especially.
If I did, I would be acting just as Amalda expected me to â
I knew it. It made sense.
However, right now, right before me â
That expression of Amalda just now while clutching her hand after I slapped it away, as if she was the one hurt just made my blood boil, turning my head into a mess.
âWhy do you have the gall to make that face!? Isnât it your fault!? Everything is all your fault, Amalda!â
Amalda muttered, then she staggered back a step.
She hunged her head, and a sliver of tears sparkled on her cheek.
âNor-chan, Iâm sorry. Yes⌠Yes, youâre right. Itâs all my fault. Nor-chan had to lie because of me.â She wiped her tears before raising her head.
I couldnât help but scoff when I saw her wavering expression as if she was about to fully cry even while smiling.
We had the same expression, and yet she probably cried prettier than me.
âIf I didnât become a Saintess⌠If I didnât invite Nor-chan to be a Saintess, then Nor-chan didnât have to lieâŚIâm sorry, so sorryâŚâ âThereâs no need for you to apologize, Amalda.â Amaldaâs tears relentlessly poured, so Eric rushed to her.
His gentle gaze, his kind voice, his attempt to soothe â all of them were only for Amalda.
âYou didnât do anything wrong. Nor is the one who misunderstood, and sheâs the one resenting you, heck she even spouted all those lies, so why should you apologize to someone like that?â
âAmalda is the one lying! Why donât you believe me!?â
I forcefully rubbed my eyes and glared at Eric.
I gritted my teeth and yelled in a poor attempt to hide the trembling of my voice, but Eric just shook his head, as if he was fed up with me.
His eyes that stared at me were cold.
My face was all scrunched up, desperately trying to reign the heat behind my eyes, but he heaved a sigh as if he was exasperated and thoroughly disgusted.
âThatâs because I canât trust you, Nor. I canât feel the sincerity of your words. Amalda had always been mindful of your feelings, and yet you kept on talking selfishly about yourself â so isnât it obvious who I should trust?â
Tears finally streamed down my cheeks, but unlike Amalda, nobody even tried to pacify me.
âNor-chan, sorryâŚIâm sorryâŚâ
Amalda kept on apologizing while crying, and the other three people surrounded her.
They turned their backs on me, trying to calm her down in a fluster â and that image was burned into my mind.
What flashed in my mind was the scene that I saw countless times in the past, back in our mansion.
Amalda would go to our mansion to play. Father would look after her happily. My brother also wanted to catch Amaldaâs attention, and the servants sang her praises.
And I â I just watched them.
I didnât want to recall those things.
âFather, look at me.â
I could see Amalda crying pitifully from the gap between their backs.
She smiled, embarrassed from all the consoling words heaped on her â
âIâm also crying, you knowâŚâ
Something bubbled up inside of me, something muddy.
The same sticky feeling that once flowed in from external forces â it was now overflowing from within me.
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