CH 14

I woke up.

I’m back again.

I don’t have to look at my smartphone to know.

Hah, I must’ve returned to the morning of the entrance ceremony.

Not in the mood to get up, I sluggishly turn to the side while lying down.

Hugging my knees tightly on the bed, I close my eyes.

Chako will disappear no matter what I do anyway.

Why did I return?

Even though I don’t want to hear it anymore, Chako’s words repeat in my head.

――I want to disappear.

Those words crush my chest again.

I didn’t save Chako.

I wasn’t able to free her.

My tears flow at the reality that I pretended not to see all along because I didn’t want to know.

And that gouges at my heart even more. I push my face onto the pillow to stop my tears.

How long had I been in this state?

Time and again.

Even though I don’t want to recall them, Chako’s last words float in my head.

Like this, as I recall, one of Chako’s statements suddenly stops in my heart.

I raise the face that was pushed onto the pillow.

Chako said that it’s fine since I chose Yuusei-kun.

I don’t understand what that means.

However…

Perhaps.

“If I… don’t do anything, Chako may not disappear.”

If I don’t get involved.

The conflict between the Onmyouji Faction and the Phantom Faction.

The internal conflict of the Onmyouji Faction.

If nothing happens.

Will Chako remain without disappearing?

It’s not certain.

It may end up as another failure.

“I’m really… bad at giving up…”

Fu, I snort.

Then I sink my face into the pillow with a fwump.

I won’t do anything.

I won’t choose anything.

I won’t get involved with anyone.

That’s why, Chako.

Don’t disappear.

Just like that, I didn’t go to the entrance ceremony in the end.

My family home is 2 hours away from school by taking the Shinkansen[1].

My parents applied for leave because of my new lifestyle and stayed at a hotel for about 2 days.

Assembling the furniture, buying tableware and whatnot together, all those seem like distant memories.

Because I told them that I wasn’t feeling well, they bought various food supplies and were worried about me but they had to return home due to work.

Just like this, I blankly pass time in the room where I’m now alone.

My parents bought a number of things so I probably don’t have to go anywhere for a period of time.

How long had I been in this state?

If I continue to be absent from school, the homeroom teacher will likely contact my parents.

I can’t remain like this forever.

This will, probably, cause trouble for my parents.

However, I don’t feel like going to school anymore.

Chako’s in school.

So is Kousuke-kun and Yuusei-kun.

If I enter that class, I’ll end up choosing something.

That’s why I want to be alone in this room forever.

It’s boring to not do anything but over time I got used to passing time blankly.

Three days after being absent from school. My parents finally called me.

When I say that I’m still not feeling well, perhaps because I’ve been diligent so far, they immediately believed me.

As the entrance ceremony was on Wednesday, I received the call on Saturday. Although my parents have decided to come and check things out the following weekend, at any rate, there’s 1 more week of solitude.

Relieved for the moment with that, I passed the weekend blankly and Monday arrived.

Naturally, I didn’t go to school.

It’s just that, I need to go grocery shopping because the food supplies are about finished.

I heave a sigh in the room where I’m alone.

I don’t want to go out.

It’s my first time feeling this way.

In just a week of not getting involved with people, I already find getting involved with people troublesome.

Well, maybe not troublesome.

I’m scared.

Of getting involved with people.

Being alone in the room, there was nothing but lots of time for thinking.

I decided not to choose anything and not to be involved with anyone but, if I think about it, everything around me is risky.

I wonder what my parents think of me.

Do they know that I’m the Priestess of Ominous Clouds? Or don’t they?

Nah, it was my parents who recommended me to attend this school. It’s unlikely that they don’t know.

In that case, they could be onmyouji. It’s just that I wasn’t aware. Or, they may even have some relationship with phantoms.

If that’s so, I mustn’t get involved with my parents.

If I seek advice from them, it may turn out that I’ve chosen something.

Chako may disappear.

The homeroom teacher is an onmyouji.

I can’t seek advice from him either.

There’s a chance that Chako will disappear again if I get involved with him.

That’s not all.

The more I think, the more everyone appears suspicious.

The shop assistant in the convenience store could actually be an onmyouji or a phantom.

The shop assistant of the supermarket I frequent?

The older brother I often bump into?

The university student older sister living next door?

It’s possible that everyone knows I’m the Priestess of Ominous Clouds and are doing something.

Scary.

Whoever I get involved with, it may cause Chako to disappear.

I’ll live without getting involved with anyone.

Without believing anyone.

If I do that, Chako won’t disappear.

Desperately encouraging myself with that, I shut myself in the room alone.

In the end, I never went out that day, passing time by randomly playing with my phone until the evening.

Piipii.

An electronic sound reverberates in the room where I’m alone.

My body which was lying on the bed jumps up in surprise at the sudden sound.

This is the intercom’s sound.

This apartment building has auto-lock so someone must have entered the number for this unit at the entrance.

My heart beats faster at the people involvement I haven’t had for some time.

I wonder who is it…

As expected, did my parents come?

Or is it the homeroom teacher?

Unable to ignore it, I go to the intercom machine with my heart throbbing..

The intercom comes with a camera.

Shown on the LCD was a girl with long, black hair.

“Chako…”

Surprised, my voice leaked out.

Chako’s there, fidgeting restlessly as her gaze swims.

Why.

When I don’t want to see you.

I chew my lips thoroughly.

I thought of ignoring her but feeling bad for Chako who’s fidgeting restlessly as her gaze swims, I press the button for voice communication.

“… Yes.”

『Ah, sorry. Is this Naba Yui-san’s house?』

“… Yes.”

Chako’s voice reaches me across the intercom.

With just that, I begin to feel like crying. I clenched my hand tightly to suppress myself.

Why did you come?

Ah… Tomotaka-senpai must have asked her to.

He must have asked her to ‘Go and check things out’.

『I’m sorry for the abruptness, um, I’m Tomonaga Chako from Year 1 Class 1 of Private Evenfall Academy. I’m in the same class as Naba-san and my attendance number is one before.』

“… Yes.”

I know.

I know all that.

Tomotaka-senpai told you to get along well with me, right?

『The homeroom teacher was worried because you’ve been absent from school ever since the entrance ceremony. When I asked him, it turns out that my house is near and we’ve both living alone so I was wondering if there’s anything I can do for you.』

“…”

『You were feeling unwell, was it? Are you okay now?』

Blue eyes look at me worriedly.

That pretty colour remains unchanged even across the camera.

“… Yes.”

Unable to continue looking at those eyes, I close mine tightly.

A cold voice leaks out from my mouth.

“I’m okay so can you leave me be?”

This is fine.

『I see, sorry for the abruptness.』

Chako apologised remorsefully at my cold voice.

I desperately suppress the impulse that seethes in my chest at that voice.

“It’s fine. Well then.”

『Ah, for grocery shopping and all, if there’s anything you’re troubled by, let me know alright.』

Why, Chako.

“I’ll be fine.”

『Ah, I’ll leave a letter in your letterbox so do read it.』

When you get convinced on your own and disappear on your own.

『If you don’t mind, let’s go to school together?』

When you wouldn’t take my hand.

“… Goodbye.”

Why are you so kind?

『… Un. Cya. Bye bye.』

Even though I tried my hardest to let out a cold voice, tears come out from my eyes on their own.

I wanted to talk to Chako.

I wanted to ask her to come in.

I wanted to thank her.

I wanted to tell her that I love the kind Chako, and grab her hand.

“…”

Placing a cover on the feelings seething in my heart, I open my eyes.

Then, I press the voice communication button of the intercom machine once again.

Flick, the LCD screen turns dark.

Finally, I sit down listlessly on the spot.

It’s okay.

This is fine.

This is fine.

Leaning on the wall the intercom is attached to, I hug my knees.

Placing my eyes against the knees, I repeatedly take slow, deep breaths.

My heart hurts.

Can I call this working hard too?

Fu, laughter leaks out at the thought that surfaced in my head.

No, right?

This isn’t called working hard.

It’s called running away, isn’t it?

My pathetic self.

I’m too ashamed to face everyone.

Haa, I let out a huge breath.

When I sit blankly in the room alone as the sun sets, the faces of various people go by in my head.

Is Kousuke-kun condemning himself as a good-for-nothing even now?

Is Tomotaka-senpai, too, being strict on himself as he withstands the pressure from his surroundings because he thinks he must be perfect?

Kuo-sensei’s probably laughing in a lonely manner as he gazes at his own ending while Yuusei-kun’s probably working hard alone even now.

And, Chako accepts her fate as she lives day by day.

Everyone has worries and are working hard while shouldering them.

Despite that, can I stay shut in here forever?

I want to do something.

I want to help everyone.

Work hard, my heart whispers.

But, what should I work hard at?

Chako will disappear if I do anything, you know?

I don’t want to do anything.

I don’t want to work hard.

I don’t want to see that the results of me working hard is Chako disappearing.

Yes. Let’s stay here.

As long as Chako doesn’t disappear, time will surely solve things.

Someone other than me will solve everyone’s worries.

I won’t be able to with everyone but it’s fine already.

I did what I could.

It’s fine already.

I clench my teeth tightly and hug my knees again.

The room where I’m alone is quiet, there’s only the sound of the clock.

I sit down in the room where I’m alone.

I stay like this for a while but when I realise that the room became dark, I switch on the lights.

Following that, I go the apartment entrance and return with the letter from Chako.

A paper with unfathomable animals.

Seeing the weird pattern, I laugh a little at Chako’s taste.

The letter was about what happened in school and her worry for my physical condition.

She also wrote her phone number and her email app ID.

I thought about ignoring it but I open the app and add Chako as a friend.

Then I send a mail.

『This is Naba. Please do not worry about me.』

Brief.

I didn’t use any sticker either.

Chako replied immediately even though it was such a mail.

『Ah, the homeroom teacher said that he might visit you.』

『Understood.』

『I’ll mail you again if anything happens in school, okay!』

That was all.

I didn’t reply to the last mail from Chako.

This is fine.

Chako and I are strangers.

I won’t be able to laugh with Chako but this is fine.

“… Maybe I shouldn’t have sent it.”

Actually, it might’ve been better if I ignored her letter and didn’t send anything.

Even then, the reason I ended up sending is surely because…

“I’m really…”

Bad at giving up.

『Naba Yui』was logged into Chako’s smartphone.

Someday, she’ll probably go『Who was that again?』and delete it.

The me who doesn’t work hard and is running away doesn’t have the right to be friends with Chako.

Even then.

Even just for a while, I wanted to be connected to Chako.

Leaving the smartphone on the living table, my body sinks into the bed.

Fwump, I cover my face with the pillow.

I’ll be alone here, so.

Don’t disappear, Chako.

Don’t disappear.

[1] Bullet train. She’s not staying with her parents in her family home right now, but somewhere closer to school.