Chapter 5: Because You Are Hurt

“Oh, that’s it.”

Green eyes scanned the fancy bonnet, the necklace and the traces on the neck.

“You don’t need me because you’ve achieved your goal?”

I let out a long sigh. As expected, children would be children.

“I knew it. You used me to please His Excellency Roam? You don’t need me anymore, so you are going to throw me away easily….”

Like always, I tapped and lightly touched the child’s forehead with one finger. A bright light poured out and covered the boy’s wounds.

“Don’t be too friendly.”

Lancel flicked my hand and turned around.

“Because it’s annoying.”

I watched him go away for a long time.

‘I thought he was a wildcat.’

But he was a kitten.

I didn’t know before, but Lancel’s hair somehow looked a little fluffy.

Leaving the training arena with Jane, I glanced anxiously at her. My husband didn’t tell his mother about his complicated business. It was the same for Jane as well. But she was surprisingly fine. Even after seeing them die.

Maybe it was because she was an aristocrat. Nobles usually did not mourn the death of their enemies or those of low rank. People here were like that. That way of thinking was slightly different from modern people.

Maybe that was why she ran through the flower garden, fluttering her loose-fitting dress, as if the scene in the training arena had nothing to do with her. She seemed to be thankful that Lancel had been treated. Before long, she laid down on the grass and smiled brightly.

She was a pathologically happy woman. If she was sick or sad, the whole of Roam would be worried about her.

As her servants who used to be behind her had gone away, her smile must have become a habit that was eating away at her legitimate sorrow of losing her mother.

On both sides, she was a really perfect aristocrat.

It seemed there was a somewhat melancholic feeling from that picture-perfect smile of hers.

The hem of Jane’s dress spread out over the green grass. The white skin under her neck looked even whiter today.

“As expected, I have the best thing in the world because I’m with Milena.”

Jane’s light green eyes captured the sky.

“The annoying servants aren’t behind me, and I don’t have a brother to scold me. I can just run and roll around without having to lay anything on the grass.”

“…Of course.”

“I felt like a princess trapped in a castle who was now getting to know all kinds of fun in the world.”

“It was because they are worried about Dolores.”

“It’s useless overprotection.”

“Don’t let your guard down until dawn.”

“Still.”

Jane turned her head and looked at me with sparkling eyes.

“Milena will heal me.”

She squeezed my hand.

“Last time I had a seizure, Milena helped me, right?”

“…That’s right.”

“And healed Lancel with one finger.”

She added enthusiastically.

“Lancel didn’t receive my handkerchief. My brother brought him here, so I tried to be close to him, but no matter how hard I look for him, he only follows Milena. I think Milena is really good with kids!”

“I guess that’s because I’m in the mansion often.”

“Well, I’m sure you’re more of his mother rather than his aunt, right?”

Jane tilted her head and asked. The word mother was very unfamiliar.

‘In hindsight, I must be Lancel’s mother.’

More correctly I was an adoptive mother. Jane’s chatter poured in without giving me a moment to think.

“Anyway, this time, we will definitely go to the imperial ball. This time for sure. Your excuses of researching medicinal herbs and the declarations of having a lot of work to do are no longer acceptable.”

“…Of course.”

I was originally reluctant to go to the ball with Jane.

The Milena in the ballroom had to be perfect, which meant that she should not have anything to be blamed for.

With Jane, the story of Siegfried would come out. I tried to avoid it, but now I wondered what the point was. What my husband needed could not be my flawless social position.

“Why can’t I see that bastard?”

I also need to save the person my husband calls ‘that bastard’. Now that the story came to this, it seemed better than nothing.

“Thank you so much!”

Perhaps it was the unexpected consent, Jane rejoiced and got up from the grass. Her bonnet fluttered off her back, so I fastened her bonnet back tightly.

Jane’s eyes, which seemed to contain the freshness of the grass, were curved.

“Then let’s go.”

I rose from my seat and reached out to Jane.

“It’s not good to stay outside for too long.”

Jane stared at my hand, pouted her lips, and put her white and fine hands on it. She gently rose from her place and chatted eagerly, moving along with me.

“Really, I don’t know what I would have done without Milena in Roam!”

She hummed as if in a good mood, and I took her to the room. I greeted her by brushing the grass from her burrows.

Soon, I looked at Jane, who smiled happily, through the door gap that closed, and prepared for my husband’s return.

I tried to practice the piano to catch my breath.

Nevertheless, as the darkness started to settle down, the more my eyes turned to Jane’s bonnet on the piano I sat on.

‘I’m going to die for changing that one.’

I shook my head and tilted my head.

There was a lot more work to be done than to be immersed in useless thoughts. I shouldn’t neglect to practice the piano for a day. Insincerity pays the price. I reflected on what I had repeated to myself thousands of times.

Then it got noisy outside, so I pulled my fingers off the white piano keys. It was loud. So it was weird. Roam was never so loud.

‘Unless Jane is sick.’

I put the lid on the piano loudly and moved on.

‘No way.’

Could it be that the young lady got sick again because she had been out in the garden for a while?

I should have turned a blind eye to her request to go to the garden, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to cage her in like everyone else.

I knew it was frustrating.

And it was also an emergency outside. The servants moved quickly with their usual rigid faces. Soon Siegfried would be back in the mansion.

No, he was already back.

I found Siegfried walking into Jane’s room. His expression, which had not lost its composure, rarely showed even the faintest distortion.

‘I can heal her.’

I was so thankful that I had the healing power. I was confident in my efforts.

‘Even if I hear the sarcastic comments about whether I gave a bottle or medicine, for now.’

I took a step forward, looking at only one mahogany door.

First I had to go there.

Then someone grabbed me by the arm.

I felt a cool air behind my back. The kind that overwhelmed people and choked people’s breath.

His unique body scent, which I sniffed deeply yesterday, pierced my lungs again.

The unique scent that always lingered on me when I passed by Siegfried.

A low voice whispered in my ear.

“Not now.”

It sounded like I was going to take Jane out to play. It was tender as if he was talking to a child.

“Jane is sick.”

“…I can heal her.”

“There’s a lot of other people who can heal her.”

“I’m the best.”

I turned stubbornly and looked at Siegfried. His blue eyes were intently staring at my scarlet eyes.

Now, I thought I was happy and proud of myself in front of him.

Because I had been trying to do this.

“So, now….”

Then he wrapped himself around my waist and pulled me towards him.

“You said you’d do well.”

He whispered.

“But those people.”

He looked at me with concerned eyes and said.

“They don’t make that face.”

“…….”

“Frowning.”

…You should save it, he whispered and left me, going into the room.

I reflected on the words that he had left behind.

He seemed to know that I was in pain when I used my powers.

And strangely, it seemed that he cared more about me than about his sister. Then why was he suddenly acting like this? Especially after two years.

I thought that this ephemeral warmth would be like a dagger on a dry chest. Was it because it was an interest that could be collected back someday? I was startled and frozen in place, as if I had touched a hot spot.

Perhaps he was paying attention to me in the aftermath of the first night.

What came to mind was a bonnet on the piano.

My fingertips went cold when I thought about how he would react to it.

***

‘Since when?’

He knew that I was in pain when I healed him. I barely moved my steps as I went back to my room and pondered.

The first day I treated him, I remembered it was the beginning of my honeymoon. To be exact, it was summer. I put the herb on his torn chest.

“What’s this?”

He grabbed me by the wrist. His sinewy arms were menacing, and my white wrists trapped in his big hands looked too weak.

It was painful under the inconsiderate grasp, but I knew that asking him to let go would do nothing. So I said something a little more appealing to him.

“It’s Maypool.”

I think that was what I said.

“It has an anti-inflammatory effect…. So the inflammation goes away.”

Siegfried said, wrinkling his handsome brow, as if it was terrible to endure the pain.

“Damn, I think I’m going to die….”

He groaned, sweeping back his black hair.

I held out a glass to him.

“This.”

He asked me, raising one eyebrow.

“A painkiller.”

At the calm answer, he stared at the glass.

“Because it was bitter, I mixed it with the wine.”

“Really?”

For some reason, those words sounded like an interrogation. He seemed curious about what was in the wine, which was strong enough to mask the bitterness of the painkiller.

It was just that the drug was quite bitter, but such consideration for this man rather aroused suspicion. His well-stretched nose was wrinkled. Siegfried got up from his seat, took the cup leisurely, and looked at me.

He did not ask useless questions to define our relationship of trust. Instead, he brushed my cheek with the back of his hand with a brain-shattering smile that he had never shown.

“You drink first.”

The seductive blue eyes glanced at me. The man held the glass to my hand once more. Hot blood flowed from the open wound on his chest and soaked his copper skin. I looked directly at him and put my mouth to the glass. After a sip, I returned the cup to him.

Nevertheless, when he did not accept the cup, I eventually emptied half the cup and held it back to him.

Only then did Siegfried empty the other half. He wiped the drops from my lips and smiled softly.

“I’ll make more.”

It would not be enough to eat half the right dose.

He grabbed me by the wrist as I tried to get out of my seat. It was a thoughtful touch. There was a big difference from before.

“That’s enough.”

He said that.

“I think half of it would be enough.”

Although the pain must have been considerable, Siegfried laid in his bed casually and looked at me with languid eyes.

His eyes still showed a faint suspicion.

I guessed he was not going to take the antidote. So I said something else instead of leaving.

“…I’ll sew it for you.”

At my words, he reached out and swept my face cutely.

“Do you know how to sew a wound with that hand?”

Just by making the herbal dressing, he seemed to have noticed how clumsy I was as a healer.

“You don’t know how to do it?”

Seeing that he hinted at my healing magic, he must have seen the books I left in my study.

I put my hand on his chest in silence and tested what I had learned.

The joy of being successful for the first time was momentary as my body faltered.

Then he held me by the wrist. He pulled me in and whispered in my ear.

“…And, you are Rochester.”

“…….”

“Did you decide to use the talent that Rochester’s jade has wasted all her life for, for Roam?”

It was a sharp analysis. Milena was not only a golden spoon of wealth but also a golden spoon of talent.

‘Because she was born a Rochester, a family famously known for inheriting magic.’

But Milena didn’t sharpen her talent.

She clung to embroidery and other culture, saying that those complicated things suited her brothers only.

I was different. I fully understood Milena’s talent and decided to use it to survive. Whenever I had time, I studied hard in and out of Roam’s study.

He could see what had happened in the past only with my poor skills.

This rudimentary skill had just started and I was trying to help him.

“…because you’re hurt.”

I replied like this. And this was true.

He came back injured on the first night.

At the end of that I left the room, and he didn’t catch me.

Come to think of it, yesterday wasn’t the first time that Siegfried didn’t use polite honorifics for me.

It was just that I didn’t remember it because it was so trivial.