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Chapter 78

Did I ever tell the Duke I was thinking of leaving this place? No, who was the person trying to marry out of the blue?
“When did you tell me to marry?”
I had never spoken to the Duke like this before. As if a little startled by my tone, he raised his eyes, then rounded them up.
“Our daughter
 At that time, I had no choice but to do that.”
“Why does the Duke always say there is no helping it? Don’t you think we should discuss it together instead of making decisions alone?”
The Duke did not respond to my words.
Really
 These families had one thing in common. The three of them were the same in that they did not speak if they did not want to speak.
“Did you know that Brother Lucian is the same as the Duke? No, the Duchess is also the same.”
“What do you mean the same?”
I couldn’t stop, even though I knew I was taking my anger out on the Duke. Resolving anger knowing that the other person would accept it. Having already found a place to channel it, I kept venting my anger.
“All three of you shut their mouths when you need it. Then, we misunderstood each other
. Yes, though you do not admit it.”
At my words, the Duke’s eyes trembled at my words. I couldn’t stop, knowing he was hurting.
Why wouldn’t he leave me alone?
Just, just

Just for a second
 Couldn’t he just let me be happy without worrying about anything?
“Look at this. You don’t say anything. It’s really the same as brother.”
“
I see.”
“Right. The Duke didn’t know? It’s the same as cutting the start and end and only talking about the middle. It is impossible to make decisions on your own without saying anything when making decisions.”
What was this heredity? What did it feel like to be connected by blood
?
While I was biting my lips in a confused mood, Amber came back.
“Are you here, Duke?”
“Is that soup for Rey to eat?”
“Yes, it is.”
“Come here.”
Amber set a small table by the bedside and put down a tray of thin soup. The Duke took the spoon and smiled slightly at me.
“If I say I’m glad my daughter got mad, will you get mad again?”
“
.”
This time I exercised my right to remain silent. Even though he didn’t say anything, the Duke let out a small laugh.
“Yes. Even the young you know
 It took me too long to realize.”
His quiet remarks filled me with tantrums. Was this what happens when people get sick? Do you become so weak, sensitive, and sharp?
And

“Now, it’s not hot anymore. Ah, try it.”
It was the first time I knew it was so warm to be cared for by someone.
My eyes felt hot.
The Duke’s eyes as he saw me, who was desperately holding back my tears, were also red.
I tend to hold my emotions well. It had always been so, and I thought it would always be. In particular, pain and anger were nothing to me. I could close my eyes, pretending not to know and brainwash that it wasn’t my pain.
However, this warm feeling was unfamiliar and awkward, so it was difficult to control it.
I did not consider the Duke to be my family. As the Duchess said, we were not family, although neither was I a guest, so I thought I was in an intermediate position.
As they thought of me that was, so did I


But, when did it get so deep?
Not only Lucian, but from the Duchess to the Duke. Before I knew it, I started telling them what I thought. They wouldn’t need my thoughts. I was not a guest or a family member, I was just a person in between.
However, why

Why were they looking at me with those eyes?
I am not your real daughter.
I am just an adopted daughter

“Father’s arm hurts. Now, eat and get stronger. That way, if father makes a mistake again, you can scold me like this. As you said, I am a person who has no choice but to make decisions and think alone, though even when you are there, you have to scold your father.”
Somehow, it felt like the words that followed would be like this,
I want to change myself. No one has told me until now, so from now on, you will tell me instead.
He wanted to change himself. He was asking for help.
That was what it sounded like.
A stream of water ran down from the corners of my eyes that I had been holding back. Holding back my tears, I opened my mouth and took the soup. Since my nose was stuffy and feverish, I couldn’t tell what it tasted like. Still, I started to feel warm inside.
I didn’t know if it was because of the soup or if it was because of the Duke, who still gazed at me kindly.
I just silently ate the soup he gave me.
After the Duke left, a doctor came to visit me, and he took a closer look at me and made a diagnosis.
“You seem to have lost your energy. Have you had a recent shock, or have you moved too much?”
“No, there is no such thing.”
“Hoho, oh dear. The current state of the Lady’s body is in a state of weakness enough to have suffered a carriage accident. If you had been in an accident or had a psychological shock, you would have noticed it sooner.”
“
I’ve never been like that.”
“First of all, there is only one way to restore energy, to take medicine and eat well.”
“Thank you.”
“It’s my job, then, get some rest.”
As the doctor gave Amber a large amount of medicine, he packed his medical bag, and left.
“But, why didn’t the Duchy’s doctor come and another doctor came?”
Amber, who was bustling with my question, approached me.
“He is a doctor called by the Young Duke. The Duchy’s doctor is a person who usually treats knights, so he’s not good at making medicines like this. He brought a famous doctor, especially from the Capital.”
“Where is brother now?”
“He entered the Imperial Palace today. There is the Duke’s coronation ceremony soon, so he went to ask His Majesty for an audience.”
“I see. The coronation ceremony is coming soon.”
“Right. So the kitchen, the garden, and all the employees are busy.”
“Then, who’s preparing the banquet?”
Amber smiled softly at my question.
“Who else can prepare a banquet at the Duchy but the Madam?”
I heard that he had moved away again after talking to me. So, I didn’t expect that there wouldn’t be much change

“I’m sure what the Young Lady said at that time moved Madam’s heart. Definitely.”
“
Yes?”
Amber was with me back then, so of course, she heard the whole story. Nonetheless, she had never told me this

When I stared at her with an unbelieving expression painted on my face, Amber offered the medicine with a stern expression and said, “Don’t you need to get well to attend the Young Duke’s coronation ceremony?”
“
I took this a lot.”
“Still, it’s good for energy, so don’t leave it behind and drink it.”
The color of the medicine thickly mixed with water was green, making it difficult to eat. When I frowned because I didn’t want to eat, Amber opened her mouth.
“Everyone is working hard in their place, so the Young Lady should also do her best in her place.”
“
Okay”
Eventually, I closed my eyes and drank without hesitation. As soon as I finished taking it, I covered my mouth with my hand. It was because if I didn’t do that, I thought I would throw up everything.
As I swallowed it, it suddenly came to mind.

Wasn’t Lucian’s face messed up? Don’t tell me he had an audience with the Emperor in that form, did he?
Hey, no way.
Even though I was worried for a while, I quickly forgot the bitter taste that did not go away in my mouth.
“Ugh, it’s too bitter
”
“There’s a total of ten days worth of medicine.”
Amber, gently waving the powdered paper, looked so mean. I gulped down the water she handed me, then laid down on the bed.
Because I couldn’t sleep anymore, I tossed and turned to and fro and fell asleep without realizing it. I saw myself as a child in a dream. It was as if I was looking at it from the point of view of an omniscient writer, so even when I saw at myself, I felt as if I was not myself.
Abandoned when I couldn’t even remember, I grew up in an orphanage. Just like any other orphanage child, I met a couple who came to volunteer.
When the couple came, I waited for no reason, so I got up early in the morning, washed, and took out the cleanest clothes I had. I didn’t know it well because I was young, but perhaps, I wanted the couple to become my parents.
I never really thought that my wish would come true.
I followed and watched my young self. Although I didn’t know it at the time, I followed the couple with a very desperate look. It was as if I was begging with all my body and heart to take me away. What would have happened if I hadn’t followed that couple at this time?
If so, would I have been happier
?
Nevertheless, it was just an assumption, and I had no choice but to follow the past that had already happened.
Going to the car, holding one hand in each hand, sandwiched between the couple, I had an expression on my face that I had everything in the world. With a very confident expression on my face, I saw the remaining children at the orphanage before following them into the car.
I waved my hand to them.
I have parents now. Different from you, I just found my place.
The envious children who stood near the windows and doors did not wave at me, but I was happy as if I had the whole world. Now that I didn’t have to live alone in that miserable place, I just smiled brightly.
It was indeed the heart of a pure but selfish child.