CH 29

Chapter 29: Legendary Face-Changing Expert (Part 1)

I covered my face.

A light laugh drifted over, and a hand appeared before me as a shadow fell across my form. I jerked and wanted to run, but there was no way out.

“What are you hiding for…?” Nongyu’s elbow was propped up against the door behind me, dashingly posing as he spoke softly. “Carry over the pills to me.”

…who does he think he’s ordering around?

My eyes darted around the room.

“What are you goggling at? There’s just the two of us here, and this medicine has to be secretly delivered to the Noble Consort[1]. Don’t tell me you expect me to do it personally?”

I thought he’d seen through me.

So it looked like he just wanted me to deliver some pills.

Say it earlier so I won’t get nervous for nothing!

I turned sideways, bending down to duck beneath his arms and respectfully pour the pills into a bowl. It was easier to work while kneeling on the ground, and I held the medicine with both hands as I walked towards him. He didn’t say a word, but opened the doors to lead the way.

Sunlight splashed against him, illuminating the tall and graceful form. He half-turned his head to look at me out of the corner of his eye, and it looked as if he was smiling.

Maybe I’m overthinking, but he kept reminding me of a no-good weasel.

He selected a different covered corridor with exquisite, complicated turns. Water lapped at us from both sides, and lotuses grew in their depths.

No wonder this was the imperial palace…everywhere looked like something out of a beautiful painting. And no wonder Fang Hua would agree to come, when the flowers here outnumbered the ones outside by multiples. Even if he ate as much as he wanted, he’d still have enough meals to last him seven lifetimes.

“Why haven’t I seen you before? Are you a new recruit?” he turned his body towards me with a slow grin.

The imperial physician Nongyu took liberties with ladies of respectable families in the outside world…would he really pay attention to every single servant girl?

But my hands were figuratively tied, so I bowed.

“Yes, sire. This one was brought in a few days ago. Gong gong said that the imperial physicians needed more hands.”

He nodded, casually shaking out his robes as he casually asked, “How many people are in your family?”

“My mother, my younger brother, and an elder over 80 years old,” I recited back.

In any case…in any case, it was all true.

He raised his eyebrows with a veiled smile, intently focused on me as if he was considering something. It made a person…apprehensive.

A patrol group passed by us, and he took a deep breath. After the armed guards were out of sight, he grabbed my hand. My eyes widened, and I caught a glance of his own smiling ones as he led me around a corner. Immediately afterwards, my body was pressed against a cool stone wall.

“You still like to tell such blatant lies…” his body pressed forwards, and he muttered in a low tone. “Younger Sister Shào…”

Rage!

You stupid pill-purchasing physician, you knew who I was but pretended not to!

I was forced to be the idiot who played along…nnngh…

With an earnest look, he covered my mouth with his hand and murmured, “Don’t make sudden noises and I’ll let you go. Otherwise, if you attract the attention of the guards, I won’t protect you.”

I narrowed my eyes, nodding repeatedly.

He smiled, but didn’t release me.

In fact, he got even closer, fully giving me the force of his tender gaze, eyelashes quivering as his breaths tickled my face. While it itched, the feeling also made me sweat a little nervously. He slowly lowered his head and stroked my cheek with one finger.

“So obedient…” the rest of his oily words dissolved with a sigh into the air.

My eyes grew wider than ever, and it felt like I was suffocating. All I could see was his handsome-looking face and those eyes curving into a smile. My heartbeats pounded like a drum, as if it was trying to jump out of my throat.

His face drew closer to mine before he pressed his lips against the hand there, leaving a mark. My body stiffened, and I flushed, at a loss for what to do.

This was an alcove along the corridor, and there was no place for me to hide. Thick walls encircled me on both sides with the pond just beyond. The budding lotuses floated on the water, right by our forms…

Their delicate fragrance assailed the nose and hovered in the air about us. It was a very romantic scene[2].

Only I didn’t feel this way at all. Not to mention, the other person was the wrong guy.

My teeth flashed.

“Alas…you actually bit me.” he hastily withdrew his hand to examine it carefully. Still, he had a smile when he looked at me again. “You should know there’s a lot of women in the world who adore me–Nongyu.”

I held back, my face very red, and took a deep breath.

“Like I care about that! If you get fresh with me again…” I fumbled about before pulling out a packet of powder. “Be careful my poison doesn’t leave you an eternal bachelor[3]!”

He completely ignored the powder to focus on my chest instead, amused. “You hid so much stuff in there, but you’re still kind of flat…that’s rather worrying.”

—All reproductions of this work not on volaretranslations are stolen copies.

The sagely Nongyu I remembered first meeting, was this really the same person…?

The bantering tone hadn’t changed, but he seemed to have grown fonder of teasing others. I really wanted to shut him up, but…

Personal preferences aside, there was something important I didn’t understand.

“How did you guess it was me…did my disguise fail so hard?” I touched my face, uncertain. The layers of the mask were still there, so I shouldn’t have been easily exposed.

“Do you want to know? It’s actually very simple.” He smiled lightly, bending down. Those refined eyebrows were long and slender, giving him a relaxed and cheerful expression. “I’m a face-changing expert.”

Face-changing expert?

A guy like him…

I was too late to hide the expression of ridicule on my face.

Nongyu took back his unrestrained, frivolous manners, and said seriously, “Come with me.” So saying, he grabbed my hand and pulled me along.

“But this medicine…” I pointed at the package on the ground.

“There’ll be someone to take it away, don’t bother.”

Huh…

He actually rolled his eyes at me, t-t-this…I’m so mad! I could actually throw up.

I don’t know how many turns we made before we reached a house. Nongyu shut the door behind us as we entered.

“What’s the point of shutting the door up so tightly?”

“Of course…it’s so…” His leisurely voice followed the slow lift of his head, while I stood there in the breeze, puzzled. The corners of his eyes rose, and his face had the smug look of someone used to taking liberties. “We can work together to deceive everyone else.”

—All reproductions of this work not on volaretranslations are stolen copies.

I gave him a blank look, completely ill at ease. Plopping onto a chair, I found a bronze mirror to examine my fake face.

There was nothing enticing about this face at all…

Looks like Nongyu was an exceptional case, not even letting my vile old skinbags go. Truthfully speaking, I felt sorry for the old emperor.

He was sick enough to be confined to bed, away from all the beautiful sights of the inner court. Meanwhile this imperial physician could wander about the place as he’d liked. Even if he stirred up a big fuss, he could abort the situation quite easily, leaving no one the wiser.

“What are you whispering about in the corner?” His hand rested against the table as he leaned down, index finger picking at my face. The neatly trimmed nail brushed past my skin as his mouth creased into a smile. “Younger Sister Shào…”

“What are you babbling about, trying to call back the dead?” I beat him off.

“Your poison skills are superior to mine, and your medical skills might reach my level before long but…it looks like your face-changing skills aren’t much after all.”

He was looking down on me.

My rebuttal faded as I saw my reflection in the mirror. I looked back and forth a few times, before falling into silence.

“Yifu never taught me how to change my appearance.”

He smiled, and dug off a piece of skin from my face to take an experimental sniff. “This is the first time I, Nongyu, have seen anyone use poisonous powders to change their looks…Younger Sister Shào, you have some guts.”

“I was raised by Fang Hua. Do you think I fear poisons?”

“That makes sense,” he turned and took out a light green bottle from a side drawer. Pulling out the stopper, he gave a sniff before pouring some of its contents into his palm, eyes laughing. “Come and tilt your face towards me, be good.”

“Haven’t I been facing you the entire time…hmph…”

A fragrant aroma drifted from his palm, and some sort of liquidy, oily plaster was applied to my face. It felt like he was smearing paint over a wall… The strong force he was usually gradually lessened as he asked, “Hn? Comfortable?”

“It’s all right.”

He smiled again.

I caught the hand that wanted to drift down to my neck and collar, and spoke tightly, “You haven’t done the bottom half of my face yet.”

“Excuse my lack of manners,” he lightly searched my face, as if looking for something. Then he made a polite gesturing motion to the side. “There’s water over there to wash off your face. You’ll be recognized sooner or later by the crown prince and your yifu like this.”

“First I get smeared with weird stuff, then I have to wash my face. What exactly are you playing at?”

“It’s very simple,” He took up his sleeves and spoke in a leisurely tone. “I’m going to make you another face.”

-o-All reproductions of this work not on volaretranslations are stolen copies.

[1] Noble Consort (贵妃) －guifei, depends on dynasty, but this is one of the highest (if not the highest) level of imperial concubines. Of course, the one on top is the empress. [2] romantic scene (风花雪月) －feng hua xue yue, or “wind, flowers, snow, moon”, term originally used for certain types of works, and later referring to sentimental writings in general. Think along the lines of…cliché shoujo scenes or similar. [3] eternal bachelor (无妻无儿) －wuqi wuer, “without a wife, without a son,” I took a bit of creative liberties here, hehe.

Chapter 29: Legendary Face-Changing Expert (Part 2)

Ah…

Not bad, I could agree to that. I nodded and smiled before turning with an exclamation of surprise.

“Where’s the water…”

“The water’s in the copper basin.”

“Then where’s the copper basin?”

“Walk forward seven to eight steps. There’s a copper basin on the rack with some cold water inside. The hot water pail and ladle is on the ground…as for a face towel, you can use your sleeves for now.” His eyes were gleaming, but their gaze was gentle and soft, his voice unhurried. “Understand?”

I rolled up my sleeves and stuck a pinkie in my ear. But then he raised a foot and gave me a light kick. “If you know, then why aren’t you hurrying over?”

Nice guy, you sure change moods fast.

I peered into the basin and had a sudden bout of laziness. I didn’t feel like adding any hot water, so I just leaned over and splashed my face, shaking my head a few times. This basically made me clean…but excess water was still trailing down from my hair, so I quickly rubbed it dry with my sleeves.

When I raised my head, I saw Nongyu staring at me blankly.

“What?”

He sucked in his lips and pursed them, as if just regaining his senses. But it seemed he was resisting the urge to smile with great difficulty. “To sink to this level, Younger Sister Shào has already amazed me. Your movements are so violent, and yet you treat it as a small trifle. Such behavior is worthy of acclaim.” He clasped his hands in a bow, and refused to meet my eyes.

How contemptuous.

Nothing but bare disdain…

I smacked the table and gave him a glare as I sat in my seat.

“Come and pick one.” His sleeves whisked over the table. I swept over the surface with a careless gaze, but was instantly transfixed.

There was a white jade vessel sitting on the table, within which were suspended various skin masks as thin as cicada wings…the water wafted with the scent of sandalwood as it quivered.

He lifted his gaze to look at me. “Let’s use this one.” So speaking, he deftly lifted out a mask from the very bottom, and pressed it against my face.

“Hey…you, I didn’t even pick yet.”

A mild tone rose from somewhere above me. “These are my masks. You pick what you want, I give what I want…if you pick something I refuse to give, then you couldn’t do anything about it anyways.”

—All reproductions of this work not on volaretranslations are stolen copies.

Abominable.

This guy was really abominable!

“Don’t move around. Each mask is as precious as gold,” he stuck his finger around my eyebrows and pressed down a few times, slowly sliding it down…after stroking seven or eight places, his eyes crinkled and he gave a cheerful laugh. “It’s done.”

I felt an ominous premonition and stole a look at him. Turning away, I furtively touched my face. The surface was pretty slippery, and thin enough that it felt like I was rubbing my own skin. My anxiety slowly calmed down.

He embraced me from behind, hands slowly reaching upwards. “There’s one more thing that we need to change.”

He rested a finger above the front button of my collar.

Exactly what did he plan to do…?

—All reproductions of this work not on volaretranslations are stolen copies.

Seeing his face get increasingly closer, my expression turned serious.

From the depths of my sleeves, I grabbed some packets of powder. There was still time to throw them…

His hands clamped around my wrists, preventing me from moving within his embrace.

“Do you want to poison me again?”

“A well-read sage of the Confucian classics would never be as rude as you.”

“I’m only like that with outsiders, but I don’t need to be with you.” He smiled and used a finger to prop up my face. “Moreover…I usually read medical books.”

His hand moved lower, brushing against the top button of my collar with a smile that wasn’t quite a smile.

“What are you doing…”

“Don’t misunderstand, I said there’s one more thing you have to change.” He pressed closer and asked, “Do you know what it is?”

I lowered my head, silently looking…

The place where he’d rested his hand was very particular…a little bit lower and he’d be a shameless rogue; a little higher and he’d be considered a tease.

“You’re too artistic with your hand placement. Forgive me for being dull, but I really don’t understand.”

He laughed, lifting his hand to brush a slender finger past my throat and chin. His face drew by my side, the eyelashes drooping as he spoke softly in my ear. “Your voice…”

“Voice?”

“You asked me why I could recognize you even after you changed your looks. Though I’m a face-changing expert who can tell with a glance, those people familiar with you will be able to guess just from listening to you talk.” He turned away, taking a small square box off a rack. From its depth, he took out a round, black pill and held it in his hand. “So…eat this.”

I looked at him sideways.

You think I’d eat it…just because you said so?

Who knew if it was poisoned?

“Do you not trust me? Or are you just afraid of my poisons?”

“I, Shao Hua, have made plenty of my own poisons. Like I’d be scared of you trifling imperial physician!”

“So Shào Yu really was a lie you made up to fool me.” He smiled slightly, and said mildy, “…the person vanished without a trace, the waters flow hollowly on. The beautiful spring does not linger for youth, and regrets exist on without ceasing.” His gaze was brilliant as he stared fixedly at me. “Shao Hua is as beautiful as that spring, what a good name[1].”

—All reproductions of this work not on volaretranslations are stolen copies.

He really had a way with words.

His tone of speech even resembled those melancholy, cast-aside lovestruck princes. I was on the verge of paying respects to his skills.

Nongyu’s eyes overflowed with a soft and gentle warmth, and he rolled up his sleeves, preparing to speaking again. I hurriedly twisted around to muffle him with one hand, tossing the pill in my mouth with another as I swallowed.

Air rushed through my entire body and up towards my throat. It felt both numb and itchy…as if countless ants were crawling around inside.

Shoot, what kind of pill was this?

I clutched my throat, looking around until I spotted a table. Pouring myself a cup of water, I downed it in one gulp, allowing its coolness to seep down. It was much more comfortable after that.

“What kind of pill is this?! It’s even hard to talk, do you want me to become a mute?” I frowned as I blurted out my grievance.

A slightly clear and melodious voice filled the room…

I stood stunned.

“Isn’t this good? Now even the crown prince won’t recognize you.” He rested his hands behind his back, feeling extremely self-satisfied.

Che, Han Zichuan hadn’t recognized me back then either when I stumbled into the palace.

My hands felt around my throat, feeling extremely astonished. I tested my voice a few more times. As before, it had the crystal clear tones of a child.

—All reproductions of this work not on volaretranslations are stolen copies.

“Go clean up your things a little bit, you’ll be moving to another wing today.”

“Why?” The place I lived at now wasn’t half-bad.

“Your yifu has been in the palace for a while, but he’s taciturn and never goes out. The court ladies and eunuchs in charge of serving him all live in dread because none of them know what he likes. Each day he doesn’t treat the emperor’s illness is one more day that makes me anxious.” He grasped my hand. “Fang Hua didn’t want you to come, yet here you are. Since things are like this, why don’t you live with him? If you don’t reveal yourself, I won’t expose you either, how about it?”

I gave him an empty look.

His eyes shone with sincerity and a certain eagerness.

“I don’t want to…” I said flatly, wearing an extremely reluctant face. “But in light of the fact that you saved me…I’ll grudgingly agree.”

His eyes crinkled into a very pleased smile, and he pulled my wrist to lead me outside. The entire way, he dragged me along as my face kept its stiff expression, though I resisted an urge to smile.

Inside, I was thoroughly delighted…

To the Heavens above, I’ll burn some incense for you when I get back.

Finally I can see yifu and even live with him in the same room…if that was the case, didn’t it mean that at night…

Nongyu slowled down, turning around to look at me. “Are you so happy because you’re going to see your yifu soon?”

“No, originally I wanted to enter the palace and fool around…but now you’re making me work for you.” My expression was tragic and sorrowful.

He placed a hand comfortingly on my shoulders, patting me a few times.

“I heard the servants say he’s hard to serve, so I’ll have to trouble you for these few days. His monthly allowances are much higher than the imperial physicians’, but I’ll give you some extra to add on later.”

I firmly suppressed the rising joy in my heart, instead exhaling an irritated breath as my gaze clouded over. My face reddened in stubborn silence, while his was filled with apology as he continued to lead me in silence.

Around the length of time it took for half an incense stick to burn, we came before a lacquered door, painted vermillion red.

“Imperial Physician Nong,” Two or three court ladies hurriedly knelt on the ground as he approached.

He nodded and stopped walked.

“Why aren’t you inside doing your jobs?”

The court ladies exchanged glances, as if reluctant to disclose an awkward topic. The door was slightly ajar, and opened with a single push.

I stood behind Nongyu as we entered and saw a figure within the rooms. Pitch-black hair covered his shoulders, and a ray of light illuminated his whole body. Under the serenity of the scene, Fang Hua’s beauty shone in brilliant splendor. He sat by a table, head on his hands, eyes closed as if taking a nap.

At that moment, my heart gave a start.

-o-All reproductions of this work not on volaretranslations are stolen copies.

[1] what a good name – Shao Hua (勺嬅) “beautiful spoon” vs. shaohua (韶华), “beautiful springtime, glorious youth”. They sound the same, but are written differently with distinct meanings.